Husbands wearing wedding bands.

[misfitminis]

My husband has decided to stop wearing his wedding ring. I feel that he should wear it. Just telling him that is not enough. He wants to know the "real" reason. I told him that it is important to me. He claims that he almost slipped off the tractor because of it this summer and that he scratches when he lifts weights at work and that he washes his hands so many times at the hospital (he's a nurse,paramedic, firefighter) that he just doesn't want it in the way. To me it is proper etiquette to wear a wedding band. I told him that he might need a different design. He said he didn't want to wear it. I got angry and said that I wanted to change my name back to my maiden name because nobody can spell our name and it gets mispronounced all the time. He didn't like that idea.

This has nothing to do with trust -he is a good man. However, I feel that he doesn't wear a wedding band because he is ashamed of being married. He denies it. We dated for 3.5 years before he proposed and would always shy away at the fact of getting married.

Any thoughts? I could be thinking about this too much. I'm 16 weeks pregnant and things tick me off easy.

 

[Jill]

I understand how you feel. My husband doesn't take his off, but the thing about the tractor would worry me. I know that depending on the type of work a guy is doing, the rings can really cause serious injury. I don't have any advice other than that I think your husband may have a really good point as to "why" he has stopped. Could there be a compromise, where he doesn't wear it when doing the type of work that makes it dangerous, but does at all other times?

Personally, while H never takes his off, I take my wedding band, diamond and all jewelry off when I get home. I put it on when I go out in public, but at home and on our property, I do not wear it unless someone's coming over (family, guests, vet, etc.). And, I'm very proud to be H's wife.

 

[MSRminis]

My automatic reaction is ABSOLUTELY NOT!! He MUST wear it at all times!!!! Then I read Jills post and got to thinking...I lost the center diamond of my ring while bathing a horse (think it got caught in the nylon halter) and do not want to spend the money to replace it! So yes I can see how sometimes it is better not to wear one. Now I have a "fake" ring I wear in public (or else my husband would FREAK out!!) and around the farm nothing. As long as there is no trust issues and he is not trying to hide he is married to other women-I think I would accept the no wearing while working but at all other times-MUST be on!!

 

[Izzyantheminis]

Gosh I've been sitting here trying to think of married men that continue to wear their wedding after the first couple of years.I honestly don't know any!

 

[laughingllama75]

My Hus takes his off for work....as he does very physical stuff (fireman, mechanics his own fleet of vehicles and has his own excavation business) with his hands. When we firt got married, he caught his ring on the underside of a truck and it scared the whits out of him. Since then, he will put it on when he gets home and wear it whenever he is not working,. And I was sad at first, but now almost 10 years later, it is so NOT a big deal to me. All I have to do is think of him losing a finger or his hand.......

Good luck with your dilemma, I know all situaltions are different.

Alicia

 

[Basketmiss]

Hi I am new here but thought to put in my 2 cents..

My husband is an electrician, he doesnt wear his ring at all while working, usually just on weekends when we got to town or out or something.

Men just dont think its a big deal like most women do... Women want to wear that rock, or band, we are emotionally tied to it where a man usually isnt. Thats not to say some men arent. Some men will wear their rings as religiously as women..

I dont think he is trying to get away with anything except being a man! Since your pregnant, you are probably feeling emotional and sappy about things- we all do it...

Dont take it personally, just enjoy your husband and baby in your tummy. That is so important to be not stressed about things that dont really matter in the grand scheme of things, you both know your married and so you are married no matter if your wearing your rings or not..

 

[J&HMinis]

My husband wears his all the time, which actually surprises me, I thought he wouldn't

Me on the other hand.... I take my solitare off when I get home and usually don't wear it to the barn or shows either. I'm too afraid of whacking my hand and loosing it or something.... lol

 

[lvponies]

My husband wouldn't wear his wedding ring for years. He said he was afraid since he worked with his hands so much that the ring would get caught on something. He also said that he wasn't a "jewelry" person. I finally put an end to that when I stopped wearing my wedding ring altogether and put it away in my jewelry box. Eventually he came around to my way of thinking

and now wears his ring all the time. I don't wear my engagement ring anymore as the diamond is loose and I'm afraid I'll lose it (really need to get that fixed!!), so all I wear is my band and have never had a problem with getting it caught on anything.

Maybe if you talk to your husband and tell him how much it means to you that he wear his ring. That you feel it's honoring your marriage and shows his pride in being married to you.

 

[Sonya]

My husband only wears his to work or when we go out (his work is not physical). He does not wear it anytime he is doing anything physical, working outside, fishing, hunting, etc. He doesn't wear it when he is just lounging around the house either. He has very large knuckles and the ring roles around on his finger, even though it won't fall off. It would bother me however if he didn't wear it to work, so I understand your feelings. I do understand him not wanting to wear it other times, I'm sure it's uncomfortable and could be dangerous because it's loose when he's doing physical work. I can see your husbands point in his line of work, but I also sympathize with you. Perhaps another band that fits him better?

I never ever take my band off. I do not wear my engagement ring or original wedding band for fear of loosing, scratching, etc. (especially when I had the animals and was doing alot of outside work). I ended up buying a band for myself that was not extremely expensive, but yet pretty too with diamonds in it. It is very comfortable and if I do take it off for any reason, I feel naked without it.

 

[MeadowRidge Farm]

We have been married for 38 years, and I would probably say out of the 38 yrs Bob has not worn his ring for about the past 25 years. We have a farm as well, but the ring never was a problem with any of the machinery, or when we had our dairy herd. However Bob also is a welder and works 40 plus hours a week at his job, that is where the ring caused a problem...he always wore it to work, and one day a piece of weld sparked onto it, and the whole ring turned red hot, and burndt his ring finger bad. (now he dont need to waer a ring..he has a permanant scar) he has never worn it since. I did lose my main diamond in the barn. I broke a prong off and it must of worked its way out somehow. It was oval shaped so it could of happened easy. never found it, and no insurance on it. Bob did buy me a replacement ring, but I only wear that when we go out, at home I just wear my band.

 

[Fred]

Neither my husband or I wear a ring. In our job its just too darn dangerous. We have been married for over 19 years and rings are only a symbol. I would much rather have my husband with all his body parts and not wear a ring than have one that does and get badly hurt.

 

[Denise]

It's just the opposite here. Mine wears his, I havent worn mine in ages. I do all the work with the horses, hauling hay, clipping, grooming and that thing got hung up more times than I can count. Almost lost a finger when I was tossing hay bales and the ring got stuck on the wire-hurt like heck!

I can see where they can and do get in the way but if DH wanted me to start wearing it I would for him, it's just that simple. Your supose to try to keep the other half happy and if wearing the ring would keep peace I would do it in a heartbeat.

 

[Reijel's Mom]

I'm not a big fan of jewelry, and remember most AM's before work to put my ring on. . .it comes off right when I get home, right along with the bra if it's one of my less comfortable ones

My husband wears his ring more than I do mine. I love my husband dearly, I don't have a roving eye, he knows it, I know it, and that's enough for us

 

[misfitminis]

Thanks everybody. I wear my band all of the time. I stopped wearing my diamond when I loosened the prongs too.

I feel much better after listening to your experiences. Thank you very much!

 

[Shari]

He could wear his ring on a neckless. That way it would not be in the way of his work.

Only time my hubby takes his ring off, is when he is working with the tractor or heavy equipment. Doesn't want to take a chance of moving parts snagging the ring. But he does put it back on once he is done.

I had to stop wearing my ring for a couple of reasons. One is I gained weight and the second...I am now allergic to metal. But I finally after looking for months found a nice Stone ring and wear that.

 

[Miniv]

Larry hasn't worn his ring for over 20 years......He took it off when we were running a landscape business and he was operating a lot of machinery. I just recently took my engagement ring off because I'm concerned about one of the prongs, but I do wear the band.

Just the other day, Larry told me he would like a new wedding band. His old one needs to be resized anyway.

MA

 

[RENMACMINIS]

My husband and I have been married for 9 years 10 come April. One day he was working on the tractor and got it stuck on something and he had to yank his hand free and it tore the skin off as he pulled his hand free. From then on he doesnt wear his ring, He is also a contractor and his hands are always getting smashed and the ring is now a nice oval shaped. It doesnt bother me he doesnt wear his. While I was pregnant with our youngest daughter I was retaining fluid and couldnt wear mine and to this day I dont wear it. Only when I think about it and put it on when we go out. I also havent worn my engagement ring for years since I am the one who handles the horses I was always catching it on something and was afraid I would lose the diamond so I quit wearing it. He is ok with me not wearing mine and I am ok with him not wearing his. We know we are both faithful to one another so it is no big deal to us.

Sherry

 

[Marty]

My hus also has not worn his. He sawed his fingers off three friggin times now in 20 years and had to have them reattached so he only wears his ring to church now.

I haven't worn mine since I got pregnant and got too fat for it. I had it englargened but it still doesn't fit.

I don't like to wear jewelry around here anyhow. I will wear it when I go out, my watch and my "Michael necklace" and those notorius hoop earrings of mine.

 

[River1018]

My hubby doesn't wear his a lot because he is a mechanic, too dangerous to wear a ring when doing that sort of thing, but when we go out, he puts it on and I don't have to tell him too

 

[Suzie]

In 12 years working in an Emergency Room, I saw lots of amputated fingers and terrible lacerations from men wearing wedding rings.

Mine has not worn his in years (neither do I). I would rather he stay with all 10 digits intact than worry about him getting snatched away by another gal.....LOL!