I really need some prayers and good thoughts

[twister]

Jill I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers that you may see the Dr earlier than 2 weeks and that it turns out to be nothing more than a bump in the road of life.

Hugs to you

Yvonne

 

[Maxi'sMinis]

That's a great idea with the fish tank. I had a 55 gal for years. I found watching the fish very relaxing. I loved making them a little habitat. I had fancy goldfish for years and then changed it over to small tropicals. Glad you are staying busy.

How are those beautiful baby horses doing. I bet they are getting big.

Will be thinking positive thoughts for you and keeping you in my prayers.

 

[qtrrae]

Jill, you are in my thoughts and prayers!

You have always been there for all of us on the LB Forum and we will all be there for you!

Lots of HUGS and PRAYERS - I know you are very worried but I just know in my heart that everything will be fine.

 

[REO]

{{{{Jill}}}} I don't have a story to share but I DO send prayers and best wishes. Hang in there girl!

 

[SampleMM]

Jill, do you remember MorningMist from the forum? Well, she's my 14 year old daughter. Two years ago she had a nagging cough for well over two months and along with that she was very pale and lethargic. We had many tests ran including an x-ray of her lungs which showed a spot. Long story short, the spot turned out to be nothing and she is happy and healthy today. I am praying for the same outcome for you.

 

[OhHorsePee]

Our thoughts and prayers are with you! (((((HUGS)))))

 

[Jill]

Thanks again, everyone

I'm calling the doctor who's helping me with this in the morning to tell them to also look for a pulminologist in Charlottesville, and calling my primary doctor (who was on vacation / doesn't know yet) mainly to ask him if I can take more xanax if need be and maybe to see him / ask his advice (but that may get me more worked up than just waiting and seeing the pulmonologist?). It makes me feel nervous just about calling about the Charlottesville idea in the morning -- not that I'm afraid to tell them to look there but just nervous / scared about "everything".

Today we went to early lunch and got some more fish stuff and some more neon tetras and took a nap, which is a long time pastime of mine. H is out feeding the horses (so hot out) and I'm inside just feeling anxious.

Urgh

 

[Genie]

So sorry to hear about your trouble. I rarely visit the "Back Porch" so just read your post today.

Hopefully it turns out to be something harmless. Sending good thoughts your way.

 

[Relic]

Hope time goes fast for you till you know whats what...and a positive outcome.

 

[Bozley]

Sorry to hear what you are going through. My thoughts & prayers are with you.

Sue

 

[Jill]

This morning is hard. I am such a sissy. H left for work around 4am and I'm not leaving until 7:30 or so and just here "alone" (with a bunch of dogs), I am a wreck. I've already called H a couple times on his cell phone to tell him I'm scared (like I've not told him that a billion times). I don't know how people who have to go through this kind of thing and keep a brave front (for kids, etc.) can do it.

 

[barnbum]

Kids are very distracting and force the brave front because their needs always come first....

Go see your sister and her clan... that will help.

Being alone is not good--too much time to dwell. My toughest times when worrying/grieving are when I'm driving to work--all alone in my car with my thoughts... never good.

You're going to be okay, Jill. Even IF it was something--they'll get it out and all will be well. That's a mighty IF. You're in good hands.

 

[candycar]

Sending good and happy thoughts your way....Keep smiling and stay positive. You are not alone! We are here always!

 

[Jill]

Thanks everyone.

I just was able to get an appt for this Friday late morning with a pulmonologist in Manassas. She'll look at my pictures and report and schedule the biopsy (asap I hope). She's apparently seen the pics but I'm supposed to bring them w/ me, too. I am a wuss and don't want to go get them from the hospital until we are on the way to see this doctor. If I have them in my hands much prior, I may look and I do not really want to look or read. It will only scare me more... So I'm hoping I can get them on my way to Manassas. H will be taking me.

And I'm hoping my primary doctor calls today with some advice or at least some enhanced / upgraded guidelines as to taking MORE xanax. I was crying when I first started talking to my dad this morning just as our clients arrived. They couldn't see me in the office and I pulled it together (and made some good money for us and for them). But, man oh man oh MAN this is really scary.

 

[Miniequine]

Hi Jill,

I am so sorry you are having to go through all this fear.

I understand it all too well. First of all,, You are going to be JUST FINE.

a few years ago, I went in for

my regular checkup. I was told I had a "mass" and I would need

to see a specialist... (this was not my regular doc) course it was a Friday..

On Monday, I saw a doctor who told me I most likely had

advanced ovarian cancer ... A few days later I saw a WONDERFUL surgeon

who scheduled me for surgery asap.. but still had to wait 3 weeks.

I understand the waves of fear. It made everything seem not so important

anymore... Anyway.. turned out to be a cyst. and was fine.

)

and again .. 7 hours down the road going to the World Show last fall... I get a phone call...

My mamogram showed "something" and they needed me to come in again. darn!

Course,, here comes that horrible fear... the ENTIRE show... 10 days later...

It was nothing again!

Chances ARE in your favor,, and I bet you are just FINE too!!!!!!!!! REALLY!

I just hope you can find out SOONER that you are fine, rather than having to wait

to learn you are fine. !!

~Sandy

 

[FlatCreekFarm]

I'm sorry you are going through this scary time. I understand the 'alone' feeling - I went through a similar scare several years ago, and months of doctor's appts & testing. I would wake up in the middle of the night and just ask my husband to hold me... I would cry my heart out. Everything turned out fine, but if there's any one thing in life that makes you appreciate your life and health and family and pets (and the blessings list goes on)... a health scare would be it! I'm keeping you in my prayers. Glad to hear you could get into see the specialist sooner also. Thinking good thoughts for you!!

 

[SilverDollar]

Sending good thoughts your way and keeping you in my prayers. Statistics are in your favor that all will be just fine, but I know that doesn't help with the waiting and the anxiety.

I wish I had some magic way for you to not worry. Keep the faith.

 

[Sonya]

Jill I am praying for you hard...hang in there girl. We only know each other through the internet but I almost feel like you are a close relative. You are a very strong person, I know that for sure, I look up to you in so many ways.

Whatever this is, I am confident YOU WILL overcome it. I hope they can give you answers quick, waiting is terrible I know. Super big hugs from your fellow conservative!

ok...now what about that Cap and Trade Bill?

I'm hopin' that got you thinking about something else..at least for a couple seconds.

(Just kiddin ML)

Huge positive thoughts coming your way Jill!

 

[Jill]

Thanks, folks. You all are the best and this isn't the first time LB has helped me though something that was making me an emotional wreck!!!

It turns out that Dr. Ly (infectious disease doctor I got referred to and stumbled on finding this issue) was on call this weekend and so was a pulmonologist she said is really good. Dr. Ly got Dr. Foley (woman) to look at my pics and asked her personally to please get me in sooner than the other group of doctors could, because I was so worried. I didn't know until Dr. Ly called me at the office to see how I was doing that she was the one who personally got that done for me and it touched me. She hugged me when I was leaving her office on Friday. I liked her a lot from the start... I think anyone would really like her and she thinks I'll really like Dr. Foley.

Then last night, Dr. Lin who is my primary called. He had been on vacation. He is bascially very surprised (said it like a dozen times) about what we're seeing. He told me how unusual this is. He said it could definitely be sarcoidosis, which I have been "hoping" for it it's "something". It's not a good thing to have but not the worst, either. It is an autoimine thing and I have suspected symptoms actually before the xray and ct scan. He didn't want to get into what we'll do if it's cancer until we find out the stage and if it's spread. I told him I am really scared it spread from somewhere else to my lungs and he said no, it didn't look like that kind. I asked again to be sure I understood he really meant no to that worry and he did. I don't know how he could know but he's the doctor and being a primary doctor, he probably sees more of this type issue I'm sure than Dr. Ly (who I think has worried that's what it is). He also said I can take the same dose of xanax (2 x .25 pills) every 6hrs vs. every 8hrs if I need to. So that's good. I only took it 2x yesterday and I think that's all ever but yesterday, I could feel it wear off around 6hrs.

For whatever reason, I am having a much better time emotionally than I have since finding out something is up. I haven't eaten really more than like a cup of yogurt or a half a chicken breast a day since finding out but woke up with real low sugar this morning and had Koolaid and a Nature Valley Almond bar... yummy stuff. Food is usually a great source of happiness to me (maybe that's why I like horses so much, it is to them as well).

Thanks again everyone. It is a very special group of people that mingle here.

Jill

 

[sfmini]

Jill, I am so sorry you are going through something so scary! Hang in there, take one day at a time, and I hope like anything that whatever it is will be eliminated fast.

Be sure and give yourself lots of puppy and mini therapy as well.