Intexas2stay
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- Dec 21, 2002
- Messages
- 123
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My son just turned 6. He was here with me for his birthday. While here he told me something, that really has me upset. He told me that while he was at his grandparents, he was made to sleep alone. He is not used to sleeping alone. He usually sleeps with his sister in the room with him. Now again, he was at his grandparents. They have a 5 bedroom 6 bath house, and they put him to bed alone, upstairs, in the nannys apartment. His sister, while 10 years old, was set to sleep with her grandparents, in their bed, as usual. He told me his dad was out with friends. His grandparents KNOW he does not sleep alone. So he told me he was crying and screaming, not unlike him. He told me his grandparents came into his room, turned on the cold shower and forced him into it with his clothes on. I was alarmed when he told me this, but I proceded very carefully. I asked him if his sissy knew this happened. He said yes. I asked him if he told his dad about this. He said yes. I explained gently to him that telling stories of such a thing was not a good thing to do. He got upset with me for not believing him. So I let it go. At lease I did not speak anymore about it. He has often told me in the past that his grandparents do not like him, and that they are mean to him. I know they really favor my daughter, and they do it in such a way that ever since he was 3 he knew that. I have seen myself the difference in the way they treat him compared to his sister. I have never seen them be mean to him. But the last time I ever saw my in laws was Thanksgiving of 06. I have not known this child to lie to me. I know that he knows that even his father favors his sister. He knows that I am the ONE he can turn to for anything. Aside from yelling at him, and slapping him across the face once ( my husband admitted this to me) he has never been abused. My husband and I share joint custody of the children, but he is managing conservetor (sp?) and so they live with him, and have for about 1 1/2 years now.
My problems/questions are this:
My husbands parents are VERY well off, VERY influncial in the Dallas Tx community. But both of them are heavy drinkers. And my ex MIL has been in treatment twice for her drinking and bulemia. She recently fell, while drunk, and broke her hip.
ALL of that side of the family thinks VERY VERY poorly of me. In their eyes I am nothing but trash, worthless, and a troublemaker.
By "appearences" my ex husband seems to be "better" than I am. Has a steady job, while I am on SSI for a mood disorder.
Was what happened to my son abuse?
I have not spoken to my ex husband about it, afraid I might "tip" his family off, and they would be able to coach my children to not say anything, or lie. I know for a fact that my ex has my children lie to me or try to hide things from me. Hes been caught for doing it. And it is always my son who spills the beans, and I know my ex gets mad at my son for doing so. My son was the one who told me that my Ex's Married, still living with her husband, has a baby, girlfriend was moving in. This was about three months ago. My ex must have really gotten onto my son about telling me that, because my son STILL askes me if it was him that told me, worried that I will confirm he did in fact tell me. I always say no, that daddy told me.
I was planning to wait to get my daughter alone, to casually ask her if this cold shower thing happened. She is in camp in Colorado now, so I have to wait.
If she does confirm this, what do I need to do? I know I can call Social services anonomously, but should I go ahead and make myself known, to be able to provide more proof and background on the family?
I thought about calling the school that the children attend, and asking the school counceller to talk to both children. But in that, there is the chance she might tell my husband what is going on. But it would look better if I had an outside source confirm what happened....
If it is in fact abuse, and I call social services, what will happen, if the state says in fact it was abuse?
Texas is pretty bad when it comes to social services. It is an over used program, where familys like to cause trouble for others by reporting them, when there is NO abuse or neglect present. Trust me I know, been there twice. Once for when someone thought I was keeping my child out of school, (she was 2years old) and once right out of the hospital when I was having to inject myself with Lovenox for a pulmonary embolism, and my daughter told someone at school mommy gave herself shots... Thinking I was a drug abuser. Both times of course I was cleared. And there are SO many children in need, and not enough money or workers to totally handle the problem.
And of course, there is my reputation with the family. There is NOT ONE SINGLE MEMBER of this family who will not stand up and back my in laws. How is anyone going to believe a word I say when I have all these rich and powerful people against me?
Please help me. I really am at a loss here. I surely do not want to let my son down if this happened to him, and I dont ever want it to happen again. They are NOT abusive people by nature. I know this. Nor is my husband. But my son is only 6, and it sometimes feels the only person who really has my childrens best at heart is me. I am just not in a position to care for them right now with my health.
My problems/questions are this:
My husbands parents are VERY well off, VERY influncial in the Dallas Tx community. But both of them are heavy drinkers. And my ex MIL has been in treatment twice for her drinking and bulemia. She recently fell, while drunk, and broke her hip.
ALL of that side of the family thinks VERY VERY poorly of me. In their eyes I am nothing but trash, worthless, and a troublemaker.
By "appearences" my ex husband seems to be "better" than I am. Has a steady job, while I am on SSI for a mood disorder.
Was what happened to my son abuse?
I have not spoken to my ex husband about it, afraid I might "tip" his family off, and they would be able to coach my children to not say anything, or lie. I know for a fact that my ex has my children lie to me or try to hide things from me. Hes been caught for doing it. And it is always my son who spills the beans, and I know my ex gets mad at my son for doing so. My son was the one who told me that my Ex's Married, still living with her husband, has a baby, girlfriend was moving in. This was about three months ago. My ex must have really gotten onto my son about telling me that, because my son STILL askes me if it was him that told me, worried that I will confirm he did in fact tell me. I always say no, that daddy told me.
I was planning to wait to get my daughter alone, to casually ask her if this cold shower thing happened. She is in camp in Colorado now, so I have to wait.
If she does confirm this, what do I need to do? I know I can call Social services anonomously, but should I go ahead and make myself known, to be able to provide more proof and background on the family?
I thought about calling the school that the children attend, and asking the school counceller to talk to both children. But in that, there is the chance she might tell my husband what is going on. But it would look better if I had an outside source confirm what happened....
If it is in fact abuse, and I call social services, what will happen, if the state says in fact it was abuse?
Texas is pretty bad when it comes to social services. It is an over used program, where familys like to cause trouble for others by reporting them, when there is NO abuse or neglect present. Trust me I know, been there twice. Once for when someone thought I was keeping my child out of school, (she was 2years old) and once right out of the hospital when I was having to inject myself with Lovenox for a pulmonary embolism, and my daughter told someone at school mommy gave herself shots... Thinking I was a drug abuser. Both times of course I was cleared. And there are SO many children in need, and not enough money or workers to totally handle the problem.
And of course, there is my reputation with the family. There is NOT ONE SINGLE MEMBER of this family who will not stand up and back my in laws. How is anyone going to believe a word I say when I have all these rich and powerful people against me?
Please help me. I really am at a loss here. I surely do not want to let my son down if this happened to him, and I dont ever want it to happen again. They are NOT abusive people by nature. I know this. Nor is my husband. But my son is only 6, and it sometimes feels the only person who really has my childrens best at heart is me. I am just not in a position to care for them right now with my health.