Important question for all you moms with little guys..

[jacks'thunder]

What am I doing wrong???

Well I'm having a heck of a time potty training my 3 year old. He'll go no problem but when he gets busy playing he wont take the time to go on the potty. And there is no way I can get him to go #2 on the potty at all. He'll go pee in a store or resturants potty but at home he just gets to busy. I can bug him every hour or 1/2 hour and some times it works and other times it's back to square one.

Please help! If you have any suggestions or tips and tricks let me know! I'm getting tired of changing diapers! LOL! He even tells me when he has to go and goes running to the potty. So I definately know he "knows" when he's got to go. He's really ready, maybe I need to be doing something differant? I know it sounds strange but we try and make going a really good thing with lots of praise. So the " support" (I guess you'd call it that! LOL!) part is there.

Thank you in advance!! And I look forward to some help! :lol:

Leya

 

[ChrystalPaths]

We are just starting Aidan and he is 2 1/2. He does pee quite well and sometimes a poop. I figure with summer coming it will get much easier as he can run about with not much on. I know with my 2 trained ages ago...we bought each one a "special potty". It had side rails, sat on the big potty, had a step for feet to rest on and folded when not in use. I made it very special..like a throne (so to speak). I also kept a tin of m&ms on the shelf in the bathrom for successes. They never got m&ms unless it was "potty time". Some boys take a bit longer. As with animals, praise and reward works best. I also kept a potty chair outside. Those little ones can't usually hold it to get inside.

 

[Frankie]

First of all, get rid of the diapers. Put pants on him, then when he gets wet, and other, it is way more uncomfortable. They can't stand it as much as when a diaper soaks it up.

I have 3, none wore a diaper after their 2nd birthday. But I more than realize they are all different. I do not know you or how it got to this point, but from all I have ever seen,,,,,,,,not being consistant is the biggest problem. Parents say they are consistant, but many times justify going back to the diaper, like when going out, being away from a potty for a while,,,,,,,and that is not being consistant. Gotta change your lifestyle for a short time, and be consistant with them. It sounds like to me he is more than ready as he is telling you,,,,it's important you are ready too. My sisters older girl really struggled with this, she was just over 3. What they ended up doing, was leaving her barebottomed at home,,,,,,,,,she wasn't able to sit and potty with nothing on her. Just worked for them.

 

[Jetiki]

what I did with my son who's 3 is ditch the clothes, ditch the diapers and pullups and let him go naked, put his potty chair not too far from him so he can see it . I also used a sticker chart and after so many stickers he got something special, like jelly beans or to pick the ice cream for the week or something, he didn't get something every day, but he got a sticker each time he used the potty, now I don't have a problem at all. I don't even need pull ups for long car rides.

Karen

 

[Marsha Cassada]

He sounds like a very focused little guy. I'll bet he grows up to be successful at whatever he does. He is so focused on his play that he can't be bothered with minor details. Is it hereditary??? (ha) Speaking from my own experience, reward is much better than punishment. (My mother gave me VERY bad advice 35 years ago with my two sons). I like the idea of no clothes. This will help your little man leave whatever he is doing for a shorter time, and he will probably cooperate then. I doubt he is doing it on purpose to annoy you, he just can't understand what all the urgency is.

Good luck!

 

[Horsefeathers]

I took my little guy to Wal-Mart, and let him pick out a couple of packs of big boy underwear with his favorite characters in them (which were Bob the Builder and Scooby Doo...lol). He was sooooo excited to wear them. He still had the occassional wetting accident, but NEVER poo'd in them always in the potty, even when we had trouble getting him to poo in the potty before. He didn't want to mess up his new underwear. He also recieved stickers and such each time he would use the potty. While at Wal-Mart, he would pick out an inexpensive toy, and the price it cost was the number of stickers he had to earn... it worked for us. I had tried switching over slowly from diapers to underwear, but it was more confusing than anything else for him. Also, make a mental note when he poo's... most kids do it about the same time everyday... When it gets close to that time put him on the potty with coloring book or a toy or something to occupy him until it's time to go... Just some suggestions... Good Luck!

Chris

 

[Miniv]

We had success using the m&ms and lots of clapping and praising.

We also were gifted a child's potty seat that fit over the regular seat by a very wise lady who used to be a member of the NW Miniature Horse Club. Plus, I set a small stool next to the main toilet that she used.

I recommend keeping track of when he tends to need to go poop -- what time of day, etc. Then, try to remind him/ask him if he needs to go during that time.

We also stopped the diapers and switched to pull-ups. It makes the potty process much more convenient and it's a step toward being "grown-up" while still providing some protection.

My dear husband used to tell me not to worry so much......that when he taught high school, he was pretty sure all of his students were potty-trained by then! (Gee, thanks Larry!

: )

MA

 

[Steph_D]

My problem with my youngest wasn't getting her to "go" in the potty, it was getting her to wear the "big girl" panties. She doesn't do well with change and going from diapers to panties was a HUGE change for her. She was actually 4 before we got her switched over. I tried everything from Pull Ups, training pants, plain panties, I even let her pick out her own panties and it still didn't work. One day I just got fed up with changing diapers and we had a HUGE fight in the hallway by the bathroom door. I was determined to get those panties on that child, LOL. The panties got ripped and we were both sweating and crying, but I got them on her and told her that she'd better not take them off. She didn't, LOL. That night I put a diaper on her (I just can't justify paying huge prices for Pull Ups), and the next morning she asked for her panties again. After that, she was ok. She's 8 now and still has the occasional accident (mostly #2, still can't get her to really listen to her body), but she does better all the time.

I'm not one that believes in forcing a child to potty train. I figure they'll get it in their own time and I just have to deal with it until then. My in-laws forced my neice and nephew, going so far as to spank them if they had an accident (at about 18 months old :no: ) and I just couldn't see the point in that except for laziness on their part. Rewards are far better than punishment anyday.

I say just to give him time. He's doing a LOT better than my youngest was at that age. My oldest trained earlier, but she also still had "poopy" accidents for a long time. They just don't seem to like the feel of "that" coming out of them and going into the potty.

 

[gimp]

My youngest (who is now in his 20s) housebroke! He was older than the other two and I didn't think it would EVER happen. The other two were cloth diaper babies and he was the disposable diaper baby...makes a HUGE difference!! I started leaving him pantsless and he would run out and pee on the tree like the dogs! What the heck, OK. I figured when it got cold he would start using the potty, and he did. Some are just a bit more headstrong, or creative, than the others!!

:

 

[Steph_D]

I started leaving him pantsless and he would run out and pee on the tree like the dogs!

ROFLOL!!! That worked with my nephew until he decided to pee on a fake tree at school :new_shocked: :new_shocked:

 

[Laura]

[SIZE=12pt]With Mia I just had to wait until she was ready, which was soon after her 3rd birthday. Something a friend recommended (and this is ONLY for kids that can obviously CONTROL their bladder/bowels most of the time) is to have them change their own clothes, put them in the washer/hamper and wash out their undies (with supervision of course). [/SIZE]

It sounds bad, but Mia KNEW when she had to poop most of the time, but just couldn't be bothered to GO to the bathroom and stop playing, after all I cleaned it up and no big deal. I didn't fuss or make a big deal of it, I just said "you need to wash your panties". She said "but I'll get POOP on my hands!", looking QUITE offended~LOL

I said very nicely, "it's not my poop, you need to wash them" and helped her to the sink where she did wash them out a bit. That was the last time we had a purposeful poop accident. Ligitimate accidents still happened occasionally and that's fine, but it made her aware of the natural consequence. I did use M & M's too for rewards.

At five and a half (almost 6) she'll still have a rare pee accident when she just waits too long to stop playing outside.

 

[FoRebel]

Leya, I got the same problem you do. My 3 1/2 yr old son will pee on the potty, granted he has to be reminded all the time since he's also one that won't take time out to go potty! We can't get him to poop on the potty at all! My philosophy has turned to "When he's ready, it'll just click!"

I honestly know the frustration you're feeling... I am tired of changing diapers and DEFINIATELY don't want to have 2 kids in diapers since we're expecting a new baby in November.... Hang in there... HUGS to you... If you want to vent, you can always PM or email me! :lol:

 

[Chamomile]

I have two boys, 4 and 6. I had a TERRIBLE time potty training. The oldest was doing REALLY well and then along came the baby and we were back to square one. He just wouldn't go on the toilet after the baby came! But he had the basics down as your little one does. SO what I did was make a sticker chart. For every time he went potty he got a sticker and if he went #2 he got TWO stickers. I had the stickers add up to a prize, like 5 stickers got his choice of candy at the store. If he filled the chart he got to go to Walmart and pick a new toy! BOY did that work! He was so focused on filling that chart, that he quit going in his pants... I broke the chart up into sections so he wouldn't have the chance to get too frustrated in trying to fill it. Once he got it, and totally understood what we were doing, if he had a mistake, he lost a sticker. My other little guy was hard too and the sticker chart worked pretty well, but what really worked for him, as he isn't as focused as my first little guy, was just to have him learn to pee outside. It worked with my little brother

: So that's what we did! The #2 was total bribery with the M & M's, just as Debs said

:

 

[Jetiki]

M&M or jelly beans or whatever, my sons former pediatrician told me "its not bribery its Positive reinforcement" LOL

Karen

 

[minih]

Well, when my son was little I also babysat my two nephews there was 18 months between each in age. What I did and it worked great (only for boys :bgrin ) was throw some Cheerios or Fruit Loops into the toilet and tell them to sink them! They couldn't wait to go tinkle!

: Sorry no help for the other end or for the girls, with my daughter my husband bribed her.

:

 

[nootka]

My first two were 2 and 1 month (waited til after a trip to see his grandparents in PA, long plane trip and major disruption to routine), and the other boy was nearly 3 before he finally did it. The first one was done in one night with a neat little "trick" using a "wettie" baby doll to help illustrate what was going on, and "praising" the doll, etc. basically, I had him train the doll to use the potty (the doll came with a bottle, diapers and its own little potty chair), and he was learning all the time. He had VERY few accidents after that, and most of those were related to illness or extenuating circumstances.

I did have a few instances of him hopping out of the truck and "going" in the gutter or something because he just couldn't hold it, but they do get the idea before long, about holding it and if you're good about making them go before a long ride or something, they will get more "endurance" and focus as time goes by.

Definitely get rid of the diapers and use something that is noticeably wet (they do make pull ups designed for this, but regular clothes work fine, too).

I have a stubborn one here, this time....my 3 year old is flatly denying that he will EVER get potty trained, not even to go to school, which he so badly wants to do. SO, this is on the agenda for this Summer.

Good luck!

Liz M.

 

[Laura]

I'm not one that believes in forcing a child to potty train. I figure they'll get it in their own time and I just have to deal with it until then. My in-laws forced my neice and nephew, going so far as to spank them if they had an accident (at about 18 months old :no: ) and I just couldn't see the point in that except for laziness on their part. Rewards are far better than punishment anyday.

I completely agree and I hope you read those people the riot act! Spanking babies infuriates me anyway, but for something the baby can't control is criminal!

 

[~Karen~]

Being a preschool/toddler teacher, seems that this is the biggest part of our daily routine, and most of the children are boys ta boot. It seems that I am beginning to see a trend with potty training, at least for this 1st round of boys. Being very near the same age, and all started at age 2 or within 2 months give or take, they all were excited to learn something new, and pee trained relitively quickly, were excited abou the whole routine and if one went, they all wanted to go. Well, after they got the hang of it, they decided they didn't want to waste any more play time, and we began having accidents, one after another, the effort was completely gone with all of them. So I observed what they were doing, and what was keeping them from wanting to stop for the potty break. When I realized they were worried about the toy at hand, I decided to let them take their toy with them and place it in a special spot. I drew up a sticker chart with each ones name. They got to choose a small sticker for pee and a big sticker for poop, plus they got to have a sticker for their hand so they could show it off to their friends. I also made a big deal with every effort, whether they produced anything or not, letting them know that they were a big boy for trying. None of them would tell me they had to go, I always had to send them. they also learned that each child was going to have to take a potty break. I guess the 2 biggest helps were the sticker chart and being able to keep possession of whatever toy they were playing with.

Now, at age 3 on these same children, 2 are night time potty trained, and all but my own son will tell when they have to go potty. (Ohhhh, they love the fact of getting to wash their hands after going potty, it's like a reward in itself). My son will tell me when he has to go poop, in fact that was the 1st thing he was broke from. All it took for him was a look at his messy diaper, seeing some stuck to his body and understanding how it got their. He absolutly can't stand it! He now calls it Ewwwwww instead of poopoo, ha-ha. He still has pee accidents but is completely out of diapers during awake time, he still doesn't have the sleep control down well, it's a hit and miss. All the children wanted to use the big potty without a small seat on it... I had purchased 4 small potty seats, one for each child, and none of them wanted to use those, they wanted to feel biiiiig, I guess, ha-ha. Logun will go pee as long as I tell him to go, and sometimes he just goes on into the bathroom. As far as in public, his 1st experience was "traumatic" I guess. We were in one stall and had the 3 stall bathroom to ourselves when we went in. He was sitting, doing his thing, and someone had quietly entered the room. That person finished st and flushed, and Logun shot straight up into my arms trembeling. He still, to this day a year later, won't use a public restroom. My 7 yr. old won't use an automatic flush bathroom. The sensor went off too soon since she wasn't full size I guess, not ever dealing with an automatic flush before, and my goodness, that toilet was sooo loud it sounded like it was sucking in the whole store! She shot straight up into the air and latched onto me like I was made of velcro!!! She was 2 when that happened and is now nearly 7.

I have a potty training guide that I give my parents when training time is near. I have it in my computer, but it is a bit lengthy (but very informitive). If you are interested, I will see what I can do for emailing it to you.

As far as preparing for school this fall. Logun is enrolled in the public preschool (he needs a breather from me ;~) ) He has to be completely trained and be able to dress himself in the case of needing to change clothes. The dressing part I am concerned about. He has no desire at this time to put pants and underwear on by himself, and insists that they HAVE to come off when he goes potty for whatever reason (I think it's because he likes to see what he is doing down there when he is going, ha-ha. He is hung up on "being a cowboy" that I try to use that as a little leverage

:

~Karen

 

[rabbitsfizz]

I have probably toilet trained more kids than any of you- and I agree 100% NO FORCE- it backfires anyway as a scared kid will pee itself!!

:

What I would do, though, was stop the play and take the child/children to the toilet.

If they wanted to stop the routine- simple- ASK- tell me when they need to go.

There was never any question of punishment- maybe mild disappointment- and reward was never more than praise but it worked.

Forcefully ending play to go to the toilet is a BORE if you do not need to go, but it makes the kid aware of whether or not it does need to go.

It was never a question- never "do you want to go??" it was always "Time to go to the Toilet"- no excuses, play stops, kids troop to toilet.

In a group of five or six one will soon say "I don't need to".

The rest catch on quick smart.

I would start off at half hourly intervals and work outwards up to an hour or so or until the fist "I don't need to"

Took about two weeks.

 

[CAM]

My first two were potty trained fully by 2 1/2 so I thought no big deal. It took 2 days for both of them because I waited until they acted like they were ready rather than when I was ready. Now, just as I was feeling a bit proud of my parenting abilities, along came child number three; the one with the strongest will and independence of them all. Look out! There was no telling her when she would do ANYTHING so...we started at three and finished the poo party AFTER the age of four! It had to be her doing. No big girl panties, bribery or positive reinforcement of any kind made a bit of difference although I did resort to telling her at one point she couldn't start kindergarten until she was pooping in the potty. She said "Fine, I'll stay home!" :new_shocked: She just finished fully potty training a few months ago completely of her own doing, and she turns 5 in July!!!

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