Martha Stewart went Christmas shopping.
She went into an antique store and purchased a broach for a friend. I wasn't impressed with the broach. Just an old round piece of jewelry with a pin as far as I could see, not being a fine connoisseur of antique broaches.
Now the fun begins.
She's going to wrap up the broach.
She places the broach in a handkerchief made of Irish Linen that she bought in Ireland and wraps it up ever so carefully.
She takes a piece of paper. Not any paper. This is paper that she has scented herself with her own mixture of scent with special parchment paper that she has baked in the oven. Now, she takes some fancy tissue paper. No, not butt wipe, tissue paper. She is tearing it up in pieces and applying it to this parchment and pops it back into the oven so that it will adhere to the already baked parchment.
Puts it on a rack to cool.
We now have a lovely colorful piece of parchment.
Now she is measuring the heck out of that. Drawing lines here and lines there and finally comes up with a size she can live with.
Cuts the paper.
No, not with scissors.
She has to use an exacto knife.
Next, she goes through contortions and performs the act of origami on it. No, that's not dirty! You know, origami. That's the art of folding paper in a zillion folds to make something. She makes no mistakes in the folds of course. And yup, she did it. She has managed to fold that special paper in such a way that it has made a fancy little envelope for this broach to fit inside of it perfectly.
The outside and the inside is now lined with that fancy paper so you can get color inside and out.
She takes a separate piece of tissue (no, not butt wipe) that she has already prepared with scent and wraps the broach up in that, ever so carefully using the art of origami yet again and finally and places it, not shoves it in her new origami folded scented and decorated envelope.
Enter the box!
No, we don't have a box ready.
We are going to make the box.
We are going to spend a day just making the custom box from cardboard.
Not just any cardboard of course.
This is special cardboard from a special place from a special land.
Oh this box will again have scent, color and be folded in origami to perfection. And of course, it will be a perfect size too.
We measure our brains out and make our cuts and begin to cover the box in.....some Chinese silk material.
Glue? Not just any glue.
We have made our own special glue in the blender.
This box is now adorned with beads, jewels and glimmer, all from far, far, away and statically placed along the box.
Now, for the outer box!
We make yet another box.
The outer box is made from a different weight of cardboard and yep, you guessed it, folded and measured in origami style.
Ready to wrap it up in Christmas wrap yet??????
Yeah, but we're going to make that our self too.
We are going to make our own cardboard out of this cardboard.
We are going to make pulp.
We tear up the cardboard in pieces and put it in the blender and add some, oh I don't know.....butter and milk? And then we strain that and lay it out to dry on a sheet for a week, bake that and now we have this new cardboard.
Ho hum......here comes the ruler and yet again some wonderful special paper that we will hand paint now and decorate.
We will use some stamps that well, yes we made our own hand stamps from a potato and dipped it in some hand made ink to decorate the package. I think we must have made this ink from some goat's milk and turkey gizzards.
We added glitter too.
I think she went to "Adopt a Star" for the glitter.
Now we are wrapped up nicely.
But oh, we need a bow.
Must be a special bow from special ribbon that we bought from Bangladesh while visiting a chicken house to import special chickens for special eggs.
And so we lay out several strands of this fancy ribbon and measure it in an assortment of different lengths and cut them on a 45 degree angel and being to tie the bow of all bows resembling the medulla oblongata in several colors to match up beautifully with the hand made pulp Christmas wrapping.
Now, the gift is finally wrapped up and ready to give her friend.
But oh oh......we need to make a Christmas card!
I am not even going to begin to go there..............
Merry Christmas Martha Stewart!
She went into an antique store and purchased a broach for a friend. I wasn't impressed with the broach. Just an old round piece of jewelry with a pin as far as I could see, not being a fine connoisseur of antique broaches.
Now the fun begins.
She's going to wrap up the broach.
She places the broach in a handkerchief made of Irish Linen that she bought in Ireland and wraps it up ever so carefully.
She takes a piece of paper. Not any paper. This is paper that she has scented herself with her own mixture of scent with special parchment paper that she has baked in the oven. Now, she takes some fancy tissue paper. No, not butt wipe, tissue paper. She is tearing it up in pieces and applying it to this parchment and pops it back into the oven so that it will adhere to the already baked parchment.
Puts it on a rack to cool.
We now have a lovely colorful piece of parchment.
Now she is measuring the heck out of that. Drawing lines here and lines there and finally comes up with a size she can live with.
Cuts the paper.
No, not with scissors.
She has to use an exacto knife.
Next, she goes through contortions and performs the act of origami on it. No, that's not dirty! You know, origami. That's the art of folding paper in a zillion folds to make something. She makes no mistakes in the folds of course. And yup, she did it. She has managed to fold that special paper in such a way that it has made a fancy little envelope for this broach to fit inside of it perfectly.
The outside and the inside is now lined with that fancy paper so you can get color inside and out.
She takes a separate piece of tissue (no, not butt wipe) that she has already prepared with scent and wraps the broach up in that, ever so carefully using the art of origami yet again and finally and places it, not shoves it in her new origami folded scented and decorated envelope.
Enter the box!
No, we don't have a box ready.
We are going to make the box.
We are going to spend a day just making the custom box from cardboard.
Not just any cardboard of course.
This is special cardboard from a special place from a special land.
Oh this box will again have scent, color and be folded in origami to perfection. And of course, it will be a perfect size too.
We measure our brains out and make our cuts and begin to cover the box in.....some Chinese silk material.
Glue? Not just any glue.
We have made our own special glue in the blender.
This box is now adorned with beads, jewels and glimmer, all from far, far, away and statically placed along the box.
Now, for the outer box!
We make yet another box.
The outer box is made from a different weight of cardboard and yep, you guessed it, folded and measured in origami style.
Ready to wrap it up in Christmas wrap yet??????
Yeah, but we're going to make that our self too.
We are going to make our own cardboard out of this cardboard.
We are going to make pulp.
We tear up the cardboard in pieces and put it in the blender and add some, oh I don't know.....butter and milk? And then we strain that and lay it out to dry on a sheet for a week, bake that and now we have this new cardboard.
Ho hum......here comes the ruler and yet again some wonderful special paper that we will hand paint now and decorate.
We will use some stamps that well, yes we made our own hand stamps from a potato and dipped it in some hand made ink to decorate the package. I think we must have made this ink from some goat's milk and turkey gizzards.
We added glitter too.
I think she went to "Adopt a Star" for the glitter.
Now we are wrapped up nicely.
But oh, we need a bow.
Must be a special bow from special ribbon that we bought from Bangladesh while visiting a chicken house to import special chickens for special eggs.
And so we lay out several strands of this fancy ribbon and measure it in an assortment of different lengths and cut them on a 45 degree angel and being to tie the bow of all bows resembling the medulla oblongata in several colors to match up beautifully with the hand made pulp Christmas wrapping.
Now, the gift is finally wrapped up and ready to give her friend.
But oh oh......we need to make a Christmas card!
I am not even going to begin to go there..............
Merry Christmas Martha Stewart!
