What a wonderful story Diane! I, too, had one like that, but unfortunately, unlike your lady, mine never improved. I 'adoped' her when she was 12 and I thought she was just wild and unhandled, but she had been completely traumatised by someone. She had a 4 month old foal at foot and that was a real nervous little filly, due mostly to her dam's 'outlook' on life. Poor Fey was just beyond help, absolutely terrified of anyone, particularly men, and anyone that she caught sight of carrying a pitchfork/broom/etc had her climbing the walls or running for the far corner of the field, bless her. I just let her run out with my other girls and the stallion chosen at the time. She produced quite a lot of gorgeous foals for me over the years - left her to naturally 'take' or not rather than separate her from her friends. A month before foaling all the mares came in at nights and Fey came to - just following along in the first place, then as the years passed, leading the way each evening up to the foaling barn and putting herself into her own specially reserved stable.
But Fey had one very important redeeming 'feature' - inspite of all her past traumas and unlike your mare, she had absolutely no vices. No matter how frightened she was she never kicked out or bit or even laid her ears back - which made it all the more impossible to guess what had happened to her in the past! Eventually she would take polos as a treat from my outstretched hand but that was the closest i ever got to her. But after several years of simply leaving her alone, she did start to 'trust' me no to try to touch her, and would let me sit in the corner of her large stable at foaling time, quietly waiting for her to deliver, plus letting me help with the actual foaling just to make sure all was well. I would literally get the bag off the foal, dip the cord, check the sex and leave the stable. She was such a brilliant Momma there was never need to do more. When she was in, to keep her stable free of droppings (you know what I'm like concerning droppings left in stables LOL!!) I used to crawl around quietly on my hands and knees picking them up - she just used to walk around in front of me to keep out of the way. When she had foals with her this cleaning up of droppings used to amuse the foals and they were soon following me around to see what I was up to, this of course allowed me to slowly start foal scratches and from then on we never had trouble with nervous foals, although their dam never changed. Sadly one year Fey foaled soon after teatime and I was not ready for it. I found the foal an hour later still in the bag. I sat down one side of the little filly and Fey stood the other side with her nose just touching the body. She looked at me and I swear I could see tears in her eyes. I burst into tears for this very special mare and her lost baby and cursed myself for not being there to help. It took 10 days of me carrying the little filly to the field each day and back to the stable each night until, finally, one morning I watched as I shut the field gate and saw Fey give her little daughter a sweet brush of her lips before walking away to join the other mares. That evening she came in with the others without a back ward glance at her baby.
When Fey reached her 24th year it became obvious that she was nearing the end of her time, the 'spark' had gone and she started losing weight. This posed me quite a problem as I was not going to let her final moments be traumatic ones for her. Eventually I found a licenced marksman who was used on the big estates to cull the old deer, and, bless him, he came and followed my orders exactly - I hid him in a thick prickly hedge, completely out of sight. Then I called all my girls up the field and spread out lots of piles of hay, one for each mare. When they were all relaxed and 'grazing' quietly, he fired one clean shot and Fey was gone. She never saw him nor caught sght of his nasty 'stick like' object. I did so want to go over to her and to give her a stroke to say goodbye, but I just couldn't do what, in death, she would not have wanted me to ever do in life - I had to preserve her wishes.
I still have her last daughter Freya and we hope to breed from her one day. My black pinto mare Prue is a g/daughter which makes little Shiva, born last year, Fey's first g/g/daughter. I have had many many horses through my hands over many many years, but the unusual and very special relationship that I had with Fey was one that I felt blessed to have experienced. She will never be forgotten.
Ooooop's - done it again!! Diane, you really must stop telling tales that set my memories flowing!!