Reasons why blood isn't always thicker than water...

[CountryHaven]

Liz you had so much to overcome, and you managed to keep your head at a young age and know what wasn't 'right'. I'm so happy you were able to escape that life, although I know there are scars that will never heal. I have a similar (although no where near as violent, or invading) problem with my father whom I haven't spoken to now in ten years, and, well lets just say it's a relationship not missed at all.

 

[Shari]

Liz, I am so very sorry about what you had to go through.

I was pretty much in the same boat... A mother and Father both verbally abusive, my mother would also beat me..when I was very young I learn to stop crying and she would get mad and beat me some more.

My sister would join in the fun and hurt me too. She still hates me,, even though I never did anything too her. I was one of those very quiet children,,, did not have it in me then to stand up for myself. But thinking on it,, if I did I most likely would not be here now, if I did stand up for myself.

This is the very short version....but I just wanted you to know you are not alone.

I refuse to be anything like my family was.

And you are doing the same thing. Liz you are a kind person with a good head on your shoulders!!

The best family one can have, is the one you make yourself.

 

[Marty]

A very tragic story. I just wonder why your mom chose the path that she did. I suppose you'll never know.

She was certainly on a road of self-destruction which just seemed to escalate more and more. I think she was hurting for some reason and this was her way of vengence and retaliation against something, but what? She just sounds like she was so filled with hatred that it's beyond comprehension.

Maybe she was raised without love from her family. That could say volumes.

You have turned out to be a very amazing person despite this hand that you've been dealt.

Not sure where you got your strength from, but what a success you are.

You are truly an inspiration.

So many people just wouldn't have been able to keep it together and end up as wonderfully as you did.

Your children are so blessed to have you for a mom.

I do thank God for my loving parents and wonderful childhood. I surely wish I could come somewhere close to being the parent to mine that they were to me.

 

[DakotahMoon_Ranch]

Oh Nootka. I'm so sorry...for everything. You know, had I not known better, I swore you were peeking into my childhood.

My mother too was the party girl type, My dad the noble man with a heart of gold and did everything he could after the split (including moving back into my grandparents' house with my older brother and me so he could work to pay for things). I am so very thankful though that I cannot remember a lot of the things that happened when my mother took my brother and I away (before Dad got custody)...but besides the fact that one of her brothers was shot and killed at the place we were staying, I suspect that I was mistreated (my brother remembers a bit more and he's alluded to that fact as well but won't tell me everything he remembers as he knows it will be too painful for me) and I'm sure it's why I have bouts of depression and anxiety to this day that I can't figure out.

After I found out that she'd told an old boyfriend of mine a bunch of lies about my grandmother and father, I wrote her off and told her to never contact me again. Given the fact that I had not seen her from the time I was about 2 and a half until I turned 18, our 'relationship' at that point was solely because I did my best to give her the benefit of the doubt and tried to open the door to a relationship with the mother I never knew. My stepmother had been there all those years in between and while she has been a wonderful mother to me, there was never the mother/daughter bond that many share.

I haven't heard from her in years, but I'm ok with that because it's hard to miss something you never really had - I do wish I could have a stronger bond with my stepmother, but I think for everything she's dealt with over the years, it's as strong as it can be.

I'm sorry that there are others who have been through what I have been through - but from one person who HAS been there, I understand why you hate your mother and why you're glad she's dead.....from the bottom of my heart I understand. (((HUGS)))