Responsible thing to do...?

[Lisa]

I have a problem that I'm not really sure what to do. My parents are trying to convince me NOT to go to Kentucky. I have always dreamed of going, I've been saving since last January for my vacation this year with the express purpose of going somewhere I really want to go to. I've planned it, I have my hotel booked and I have $1300 in the bank for this trip.

My dad very logically tells me that I need to buy a car as priority one and that I should NOT be going to Kentucky while I'm living at home, trying to get my credit card debt down (my mom will be helping me with that while I'm living with them now that I have a job) and don't have a car. At the moment I feel that if I have to wait for a car in order to go on this trip, then fine I'll wait. I'm spending about $200/month for the train to work. I would likely still take the train to work if I had a car so that I don't have to deal with rush hour traffic.

I know this is logical, but I am being stubborn about going. This may be my only opportunity to go in a very long time. I am wanting to save for a house in the next couple years, so therefore I won't be going on vacation for several years after I get a mortgage.

Am I being stupid? Should I forget about making this dream come true and buy a car?

 

[Willow Glen]

I say GO ya only young once without major responsibilites ,but that is just me i still consider myself young (26yr)I have a husband little girl and a morgage now and before that I lived with my parents,I did my trip I always wanted to do before I got a car and never regreted it I saved and got my car after my trip, and if ya not going to be using the car for work what is the rush, but saying that kentucky isnt going anywhere and even if you have a morgage you can still travel it would just take longer to save up, I have a plan to go to the states at the mo and am working towards it and we are all going I cant wait. If you dont go you might regret it but I would want to upset my dad so it is a tough 1.

 

[SHANA]

I would go. I am 29 years old and have been to Panama City Beach-Florida, New York City, Portland-Maine, Havana-Cuba, All over Ontario, Niagara Falls-US and Canada sides, Winnipeg, Calgary and Banff in Alberta. I love to travel. I now bought a car, still paying for it and owe money to the bank so won't be traveling for awhile but hope to go to Oklahoma in 2009 with one of minis for the AMHR Nationals. That is my next goal.

 

[Jill]

Kentucky's not going anywhere

It will be there later if you decide to wait and take the trip at another time.

I live in VA and have been to KY. IF I were you, this is the LAST time of the year I'd want to visit really either place. Go in the late spring when everything is green and beautiful. Maybe even go when you can catch a mini show

 

[hahler]

Jill has a good point

KY isnt going anywhere and why not take in the sites when its nice and beautiful

but crossing dads isnt fun either

when i first started to travel my parents were mad and when i asked them they said that they were worried about me traveling alone. ask them why they are mad might help to smooth things over

dawn

 

[AppyLover2]

I'm living at home, trying to get my credit card debt down (my mom will be helping me with that while I'm living with them now that I have a job)

Based on your statement I'd have to say wait. You have a lot of years ahead of you....travel isn't only for the young. I don't think spending money on your dream trip is appropriate while you're living at home and getting help paying the bills you already have. Sorry, I know this isn't what you want to hear, but it's MHO.

 

[Cathy_H]

Being the thrifty spender that I am I vote to not go. I feel if one is paying interest on a credit card then that comes first. I believe in paying for your necessities before paying for luxuries as you never know when you are going to be hit with an emergency bill.............. I live in Kentucky & unless you are visiting during the nice weather months you may not like what you see.................. Suggestion - how about finding someone else that you like & would also like to visit Kentucky to share the expenses with you?

 

[Reijel's Mom]

I'm living at home, trying to get my credit card debt down (my mom will be helping me with that while I'm living with them now that I have a job)

Based on your statement I'd have to say wait. You have a lot of years ahead of you....travel isn't only for the young. I don't think spending money on your dream trip is appropriate while you're living at home and getting help paying the bills you already have. Sorry, I know this isn't what you want to hear, but it's MHO.

I'm with AppyLover2. . .I just don't think it's fair to have this luxury when your parents are still helping you with stuff.

 

[Sonya]

You have lots of time to make your dreams come true...and those dreams will change drastically as you age, believe me. I wouldn't go to KY this time of the year either, KY is nice, been there on a houseboat trip to Lake Cumberland...but if I had my choice of a car or going to KY, I'd pick the car...look at this way...when you have a car, you can drive yourself to KY or wherever your heart desires. Or use the money for the credit card debt...I know that's no fun, but you are too young to start out with credit card debt weighing you down, if you don't nip it in the butt now it will follow you the rest of your life. Doing the right and smart thing does not usually constitute fun.

 

[JourneysEnd]

The fact that you're asking suggests that you know what you think you should do.

You're just looking for a reason to do what you what to do.

Only you can answer that.

Good luck.

 

[Charley]

Be responsible and use this time to get straight. Your parents are working to support you (whether or not you truly see this or not) while you straighten things out and they are not getting any younger. The trip can wait.

 

[Elsa]

Why not pay off the credit card with the money you have saved up so you are free of debt, and then you can really start saving for your trip when you don't have liabilities. My parents used to help me with bills when I lived at home so I could put money away in my savings, and now I regret throwing that away by wanting to do what I wanted to do. So I say save the trip for later, and as Jill said, wait until KY is really all it can be so you'll enjoy the experience more and until then, be responsible take care of things you need to take care of at home

 

[shelia]

I am over 50, and I say, go on the trip. It will be a great learning experience. I really believe that young people should travel. The memories will last you a lifetime.

Now for the guilt trip part; You can't really say that you have saved for the trip if you have credit card debt. You could have used that money to pay the credit cards. When you get back you need to keep that in mind and buckle down. Get those cards paid off! You should come back from this trip more mature and ready to dig in to work and getting things in order.

Shelia B.

 

[minimama]

Ok, I am of the mind that responsibilities always come first so you have my answer but I am going to make another point.

If you were to go to Kentucky, knowing how your dad feels about you going and knowing you have credit card debt and are out there spending money, will you enjoy it as much as you might when you did not have the negative things hanging over your head while you are there? I have taught my kids to do the work first that way when you are out enjoying something, you can truly enjoy it without the baggage hanging over your head.

 

[Lisa]

Thank you for the input everyone. I had planned on going at the end of April, so it would be very nice.

I want to go so badly, but I talked to my mom last night and she says that I should not go. That they would be very angry if I went despite the help they are trying to give me.

I have $4500 in credit card debt, $800 owing on my laptop, $23000 in student loans and $600 in an overdraft. She thinks if everything goes ideally than in 8 months if I stay living here (provided they are still living here that long), don't go to Kentucky and don't get a car, I'll have everything paid off, have a $4000 savings and I'll be in the position to try for a mortgage for an apartment rather than pay rent. The compromise is that we are going to look at my finances in mid-February and see if there is a chance for me to go to Kentucky, not use my savings unless its necessary, I'm going to plan a small trip (somewhere in BC) for around May, and perhaps go to Breeder's Cup at Santa Anita in October.

My parents are amazing for what they are doing for me. I definitely understand the sacrifice they are making to help me get out of debt, which is why i don't want to throw it away. It feels like a slap in the face to my parents if I go when they are going broke helping me...but I really feel that if i don't do it now, I wont be able to for a LOT of years because I want a place of my own (and eventually a small farm) and am working toward getting a bookstore business going in a few years.

I feel like my dream is in my grasp, but now it's not.

ask them why they are mad might help to smooth things over

I know why they are angry, and it's understandable even though I'm being stubborn.

Sorry, I know this isn't what you want to hear, but it's MHO.

haha I didn't post this to hear what I want to hear, but to hear honest opinions.

Suggestion - how about finding someone else that you like & would also like to visit Kentucky to share the expenses with you?

That wouldn't work because the only person interested in going can't afford it and I'm not sure I'd want to go with anyone else, because they would make me feel guilty about the amount of time I'm spending on farms and racetracks and would have no interest in what I want to do.

 

[Willow Glen]

Sorry I'm gunna have to change my mind if you have that much oweing I wouldnt go and it sounds like you can have it all paid off in short time 8mths isnt that long

 

[Ashley]

I am going to say that you shouldnt go.

I also dont think your parents should be helping you pay it off. YOu made the hole you are in yourself, pay it off yourself.

 

[Contessa]

Be responsible and use this time to get straight. Your parents are working to support you (whether or not you truly see this or not) while you straighten things out and they are not getting any younger. The trip can wait.

I agree with Charley as I am in the same position as your parents. My 19 yr old daughter that still lives at home and "blows" her money while we pay the morgage, utilities and put groceries into her although she has a good job and can afford a place of her own.

 

[Lisa]

Thanks for your input Ashley, but I didn't ask my parents to help, they offered to help me to get me out of a bad situation in Calgary. I am using MY money to pay it off. They are simply helping me with support and free-cheap rent for a couple months.

 

[Chico]

I know folks only live once and if you want this trip enough you will do it the right way. You'll go, but after you've started a car and trip fund. So much goes to your car and so much to your trip fund. Your making the adult choice of comprising and if you talk to your parents from this frame of mind I bet they support you. Parents want what's best for their children most generally and will work WITH you as much as possible. And, you do owe them to some extent for helping you right now. Show them you appreciate them by doing the right and mature thing. All of you will feel good this way.

chico