Retirement looming?

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mininik

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As we all know, when we hit retirement age we come face to face with the fact that it may be time to relocate.

The big question is: where?

Here are some tips..

You can live in Phoenix, Arizona where.....

1. You are willing to park 3 blocks away because you found shade.

2. You can open and drive your car without touching the car door or the steering wheel.

3. You've experienced condensation on your butt from the hot water in the toilet bowl.

4. You would give anything to be able to splash cold water on your face.

5. You can attend any function wearing shorts and a tank top.

6. "Dress Code" is meaningless at high schools and universities. Picture lingerie ads.

7. You can drive for 4 hours in one direction and never leave town.

8. You have over 100 recipes for Mexican food.

9. The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING ME??!!

10. You know that "dry heat" is comparable to what hits you in the face when you open your oven door.

You can Live in Maine where...

1. You only have four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco.

2. Halloween costumes fit over parkas.

3. You have more than one recipe for moose.

4. Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons.

5. The four seasons are: winter, still winter, almost winter, and construction.

You can Live in the Deep South where...

1. You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store.

2."y'all" is singular and "all y'all" is plural.

3. After five years you still hear, "You ain't from ' round here, are Ya?"

4. "He needed killin' " is a valid defense.

5. Everyone has 2 first names: Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob, Mary Sue, Betty Jean, MARY BETH, etc.

OR You can live in Florida where...

1. You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon.

2. All purchases include a coupon of some kind -- even houses and cars.

3. Everyone can recommend an excellent dermatologist.

4. Road construction never ends anywhere in the state.

5. Cars in front of you are often driven by headless people
 
Or you can move to Prescott AZ where they drink a lot of water and eat no food for days on end.

HeeHee........ :lol: :lol:
 
Please do not offer suggestions, I have a short list I am working on now. No sense adding to my confusion. This will be my second and hope final retirement move !!
 
Nikki have you read the books by Laurie Notaro? "I Thought You'd Be Prettier?" "The Idiot Girl's Action Adventure Club?" and their are a few more - your description of AZ is similar to hers in her books.
 
Please do not offer suggestions, I have a short list I am working on now. No sense adding to my confusion. This will be my second and hope final retirement move !!
Vic, you should consider NW Arkansas...while it's still affordable! It's gorgeous here, 4 seasons, incredible scenery and great people
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"Nikki have you read the books by Laurie Notaro?"

No, darnit. Does this mean there are more books out there for me to read?
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I was already hoping to get into the old "Travis McGee" series by John D. MacDonald...
 

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