Should I have to feel this way?

[~Palomino~]

okay first I would like to start of by saying, I am not a sports person at all(most boys, thats all they can think of!) I have never nor will I ever be intrested in ''sports'' BUT, Should I have to be totally disrespected by other kids, and feel like an idiot, and that I am no good cause of this? My whole family is into sports (expet my mom and my sister, and maybe one of me brothers, but he is more intrested then I am!!) My Dad Played college football for BYU, my brother is the state rushing record holder, or something like that, and is going to be playing football for Utah state next year, was allways the popular kid of the whole school, and everyones idol, Andy (the borther that I was JUST talking about) is the nicest person I know, and I dont hold anything against him, but I think this is a BIG reason why *I* get disrespected by the kids in my grade/school!

I also want to say My best freind Chelsey is a girl, and I am a boy, It has been this way, since I was just in first grade when I mooved here, sad to say, she is my only freind!! I get teased for this too, Everyone expects ME to be some kid who is the best(wich I dont see why) and like sports! But WHY do kids do this to ME! Why cant the LEAVE ME ALONE? I go to school, and dont say ONE word (well, yah I do,but I am VERY quit, and make sure I watch what I say) because I am afraid! I really dont care if people dont like me, but I just dont want people to think things that are not true about me, and all I can say is I HATE my name Gage!!!!!! when I lay in bed at nights (I cant sleep) I just cant stop thinking of how I am such and idiiot, and just CANT get why I feel this way! I really dont know what to do!!! I just needed to spill a little, I still need to more, but dont know if I want to!!!

Thanks for any advice!!!!

-Gage-

 

[Lisa-Ruff N Tuff Minis]

Aww i feel for you. I know school is one of the toughest places to be sometimes and kids can be so cruel and then they grow up into cruel and ugly adults.

the only plus thing is why it doesnt seem so now ( I do remember how it felt to be a teen even though it was a while back) that really what seems insurmountable in school will pass. Those that seem to rule the school well somehow that inmost cases seems to be the highlight of there lives while the others actually move forward and succeed. Just hang in there and keep being yourself

 

[Feather1414]

No Gage, you shouldn't have to feel that way.

I don't know how you feel exactly, but I do know how you feel in general.

Mainly I suggest you go out and talk to Magic and Palley. They WILL understand, trust me. You can ALWAYS PM me if you need to talk. I won't judge you, and I will try and help you the best I can.

 

[Marty]

OH stop it Gage, you are no idiot so don't say that and quit that way of thinking.

You are not a clone of your father or your brother. You are you.

God put everyone here on this earth and he don't make no junk. Keep that in mind.

God put everyone here on earth with a gift, a talent, and you do have yours.

You may not be sports minded and neither are my boys. That doesn't make them or you strange or un-cool. My oldest also has a girl for a best friend since they were about 10. There is no shame in that. You do have a gift and it can be music, or reading, or dancing, or being a horse person, or anything else. And that is YOU and who you are and nothing to be ashamed of. One of my boys recently just flunked an important test but mananged to win the fatherest spit contest. So what? Not a lot of people can spit that far! Come on Gage, lighten up on yourself.

As for being "quiet" in school I will tell you this much: try to be more outgoing. Just work on that and do try. TALK! Many times kids that don't speak are the ones that are preyed upon, because you don't give anyone the opportunity to get to know you. I know it's hard being shy but it's also not working for you. If people knew you they'd like you! But if you won't talk to anyone how can anyone know you? You've put up a barrier. I'm pretty bad in public myself. Takes me a while to talk in front of people until I get going. So I know it's not that easy, but I'm also not in school either where it's important to have a friend or two.

Case in point: a girl was picked on a lot because she was so shy and insecure and went through school thinking no one liked her. My boys had her pegged for "weird" and "snotty" because she just wouldn't talk or even try to fit in someplace. They just assumed she was a snot. That was wrong and they know that now.

That girl now is a part time resident here at my home. She's best friends with the boys and married one of their best friend. She's fun and outgoing now that everyone got a chance to know her. Matter of fact, I have trouble getting them both to go home. She follows me around like a puppy and she usually won't shut up long enough for me to get a word in. She's yakky now. I think we created a monster or something I keep telling her.

You are who you are and if you just give someone a chance to know the real you, you're going to have lots of friends. Be yourself!

 

[minih]

First off I just want to say I am sad you don't like your name. I happened to like it the first time I saw one of your posts when you used it as your forum name. I like the odd name, my daughters name is Chasta and I always wished my Mother had named me what she wanted to and not let my Dad talk her out of it. Javada, Jade for short she said, is soooo much more interesting than Terri.

Oh well..... nother story.

What grade are you in at school? I know this is not much help right now, but life is not like school. Thank you Lord! Do not allow others ideas of what "should be" infuence who you are or what you want to do. Do not allow others to have enough power over you to make you upset and sad about yourself. What I just said sounds easy but I know for a fact it is a very hard thing to do. As adults we all sometimes fall back into trying to be what others want thing. It never is good. I always try to remind myself life is short, so I need to make the most of it doing what I like.

Count yourself lucky to have a close friend. They are rare.

BTW- I hate sports too! It drives me absolutely batty when it comes on the tv and blares all over with the whistles and replays. Ugh!

 

[lilhorseladie]

I graduated with a class of 19 students. I was one of the only girls not in sports, I hear ya man. I also teach at a small school and I watch this behavior every day. Let me tell you a secret, I don't know what grade you are in but in about six years no one will give a rats butt if you were or weren't the captain of the football team. All anyone will care about is if you are honest, dependable and a hard worker. I tell all my students who are being pushed around this. Being popular is not a job skill, in fact, someday you may be their boss(Bosses are never popular). Just keep on being you, because that is all the power you have anyway. Let them think and do what they wish, they wont be on top of the world forever.

 

[jacks'thunder]

Listen to all these wonderful people and their advice!

I dated alot of diferant type of guys in school and after, but do you know what kind I married? A farming guy! He's not interested AT ALL in sports. He's a wonderful man with great values and the perfect one for me. So later in life all that really matters is that your happy

! If your not happy people won't want to be around you and you'll live your life full of regrets! And stay true to your self! Don't be fooled to think you have to be a certian way. Because you don't. Out of the norm is what I went for and I regret nothing!!!

And as for your name, I love it! I always looked for your posts with your name on it and then you changed it! I do like your user name now but it took me a few to get used to it!

I just love unique names! Look how mine is spelled!

Don't feel bad, we all have our times when we feel like we just don't fit in! Your not alone. I still feel this way when my sisters come around and I'm 30! They talk and laugh and act like best friends. I just sit there and watch. I've never been the way they are or had anything in common with them and thats just fine with me!

God made us all differant for a reason. How borring would it be if every Monday nite we all sat and watched football. Or if we all drove Red volks wagon Beatles! Thank God for variety!!

Keep your chin up and know God made you the way you are for a for a special purpose in life! And believe me you'll know what that is when the time comes!

Leya

 

[nootka]

NO, Gage, you should not have to feel that way.

Your feelings of inadequacy or not fitting in are just due to your emotional immaturity. I am not putting you down, just stating things how it is and how it appears to me. You are going through a natural phase in your life and you do so want to be liked and admired, etc., but that means being something you're not.

It is NOT worth it to compromise your own happiness to gain other people's respect. They will eventually respect you for who you already are, and you will truly begin to grow once you realize this and value yourself.

You ARE valuable, worthy, and wonderful. Please never forget this and don't let this part of your life dictate a lifelong precedent.

Kids in school can be awful. I was on both sides of the fence, but more often than not, when I was younger, because we moved a lot and I did not other activities like band or sports, etc., noone liked me. I was quiet and they assumed I was snubbing them so they harassed me til they got me to crack when they could and cry or get angry.

And then, when I was no longer always the "new kid" I picked on others and it was very wrong of me. I hope the people I picked on and teased have moved past it and saw me for what I was: Extremely immature and insecure, searching for my own place in the world at the expense of others. That is who is making YOU feel bad, too, and they need to get a life.

My oldest son dislikes sports, he does not participate in any school activities and yet I feel he is emotionally sound and socially well-adjusted. He has great friends, he is polite and fun to be with, supportive and caring with his friends, family and loving to his little brothers. I think he's a wonderful person and I can't see to judge him against a standard, rather to accept him for himself.

I bet your family will do that, too, once you come out of your shell and learn to be proud of your own individuality, and find happiness. This is what almost every parent wants for their child: happiness.

My best wishes to you,

Liz M.

(who hated HER name, too....!)

 

[_minihorses4ever_]

NO, you shouldn't have to feel that way. No one deserves to feel/be treated that way.

And, I love your name! Its so unique, and defintley stands out. You shouldn't hate it, even though you don't hear it everday, just like mine. (Mine is pronounced Bre-Ann. I have only heard of 1 or 2 other people with that name!)

Kids in school, are, well, very judgemental. We have all been called our share of "names", even those people that are "perfect". But, sometimes, you just have to ignore it, no matter how hard it is. It will all be over, eventually. And when you go off to college and actually make it in life, we'll see who will be laughing at your high school reunion.

Honestly, I think it is awesome your best friend is a girl! See, me and my friends, think that is awesome. You know why? It is because you have the strength to go through everyday, while standing out. Now that shows real stamina and strength, not running around a football field.

Those people that make fun of you for having a girl as a best friend need to get a life. Really. They can't figure out that it hurts you, even though I know they could tell if they opened up their eyes a little.

Also, it is OK to be quiet (Trust me, alot of my friends are, and I love them for being them!). But, is it the ture you to be quiet? Infront of your friends and family, are you a quiet, or outgoing? Don't let a school image hold you back from being your true self. Just like what I tell all my friends, don't go changing yourself for someone/some people, because they don't need to keep you from being all that you can be.

If you ever need to talk, I am available for PMing too.

 

[Crossbuck Farms]

Kids can be cruel. But horses are considered a sport. So you are in one technically.

 

[Magic]

Gage, you are at a really tough age right now, and living in a small town doesn't help. I've been there, and boy was it miserable sometimes. All I can tell you is, treasure those friends that you do have, and your family, and keep enjoying the type of things that you DO like to do. Hang in there, it will get better.

 

[~Palomino~]

Thank you so much everyone! you have made me feel alot better, I was just REALLY down that day, I think of it alot, but that night I was just REALLY down, thanks so much, and you all made me feel alot better!

I do like my name Gage, but I HATE how some people use it, they say the first part of my name twice #1 cause I dont play sports #2 I have a freind that is a girl!! I like unusal names too

The reason why I changed my forum name is cause no body else had there name as there forum name! I wish I wouldnt have though, but I dont want to make ML keep changing it, so this will be fine for now

once again thanks so much! and you guys have made me think, and WHY SHOULD I BE WHAT SOMEONE ELSE WANTS ME TO BE? I am me, like it or not, so feeling bad all the time, isnt going to make it better! so it will allways make me think, but I am going to TRY not to feel bad! I shouldnt have to live up to what otoher people want/expect of me to be! if they want to call me names, so what, life goes on and they are the ones that are sufering, cause they are insecure!

our health teacher had us watch this one vidio and I liked the guys defenition of insecurity, the bullies are insecure because they have to put down people to make them feel higher, and if they dont they feel they will be losers!

Your right Lori, I wish that there was another 1000 people that didnt know me, and I could meet new freinds everyday, lots of variety, and who knows, maybe some miniature horse people in that many kids, there would be to many kids for people just to think about than just me!

I am not going to let these people rule my life, and I am not going to let them win anymore! If they say it, i am going to walk right past it, and BLOW THEM OFF! and life goes on. and in 10 or so years, I will propbably rarley see these people again!!!

BTW I am in the eigth grade, thats why *I* am so pressured by this sports thing, cause next year is high school! I am just going nto enjoy coming home, and playing with the animals, and talking to you guys on the forum, cause heck once you graduate, sports are over (in most cases) horses, and music, you can have for pretty much you whole life! I am over these inmature/insecure kids

I also want to say, another reason why these kids may seem to not like me, is because if they are being inmature, it makes me PEEVED, and maybe they feel like I am a jerk and dosent like to have any fun, but there lifes are there lifes, and I am staying out of it, there going to try and but in in my life, but its not gonna happen ANYMORE!

Thanks Again! You guys helped A BUNCH!!

-Gage-

 

[justjinx]

Gage, you should not have to feel this way! I think you sound like a wonderful thoughtful guy!

My son, who is now 26, went thru HECK in middle school being bullied and harassed. he kept himself the way he was and when he got to high school he blossomed and was a VERY popular non-jock! he was even homecoming king! (usually a jock-type is voted for this). even though he is non athletic he found his niche and learned to enjoy his life. its not easy, i know, but soon it will no longer matter. your place is yours for your own individuality! hang in there! we on the forum think you are terrific! jennifer

 

[luvmycritters]

Gage - I have liked your name ever since I first saw it on the forum - really! It is a bit different and very much a "he" name. And so what if your only friend right now is a female - all the more power to you - bet those other kid's are just jealous! I remember my teenage years well - I was always shy and never had any friends. ( Kid's can be so darn cruel! ) Just keep being your self and doing the things you enjoy, things will get better!!

 

[luvmycritters]

Dag nab double posts!!

 

[CHELSEA]

Hey Gage

My name is Chelsea and i am in 8th grade too. It isn't a big deal if you are not in any sports. Don't feel bad

if you ever wanna talk my screen name is XChelli 12x

~chelli~

 

[RAPfrosty]

Aww Gage, poor guy, don't feel that way! People that think you have to be a certain way are just so uncreative and unkind, they don't know anything. My only advice is to be a little more outgoing, you have to feel like who you are and what you like are the coolest things in the world and your love and enthusiasum will make other people believe it too. Believe me, I've tried it and it works! And also, you have an incredible name, I know a kid who is so funny and nice and cool and his name is Gage too, so there you go, you're not the only one! And if people tease you about it laugh with them and then crack a joke about something else, prove to them that making jokes about you isn't going to get you upset or make you feel insecure and before you know it they will respect that. If they don't well then they are jerks and you don't want them to like you anyway! Hope everything goes well, and like you said, in a few years these mean people won't be in your life anymore!

 

[chandab]

The reason why I changed my forum name is cause no body else had there name as there forum name!  I wish I wouldnt have though, but I dont want to make ML keep changing it, so this will be fine for now

487085[/snapback]

​

That's not quite true... I use my name for a forum name; well actually it's my first name plus last initial.

My name is Chanda (sounds like SH, rhymes with panda

), I like my name now as it's unique, but didn't in school (several years ago), because either others couldn't pronounce or the made up rhymes. It seems like everyone wants to put an "R" in my name, "Chandra", because they've heard that name before.

I'm nearly 6' tall, so everyone expects that I played either volleyball or girl's basketball in school; I didn't, I don't like sports (I don't even really care to watch sports, maybe horseracing or stadium jumping and an occasional hockey game). I've loved horses for as long as I can remember, did a little showing while in high school and college, but haven't lately (mostly due to no opportunity, shows are too far away).

Others have already given plenty of good advice and encouragement, so there really isn't much I can add. You know we're always here for you...

 

[horsehug]

Hi Gage,

I rarely check out the back proch but did today and saw your post.

First of all, I love your name! I was telling my daughter Jessica that one day when we were discussing boys' names.

Second, don't ever let the sports thing get to you. I have 4 kids and they are all so different. My oldest son has always lived and breathed sports, and my younger son is my "right brained" child He has never liked sports and HATES the way it is all that is talked about at work somedays........who is going to win this game or that! He is a musician and artist.

My daughters are also so different. My younger daughter never had too many friends in her school years. She always was "older than her years" so to speak, and had older friends, and still does to this day now that she is a wonderful caring nurse.

My older daughter loves being a mom, like me

But they all are unique individuals and wonderful good hearted young adults. And you too are so very good hearted, Gage.

For the rest of you, Gage is tall and good looking and incredibly polite.

I have had the pleasure of meeting him and getting to know him a little over the last few years since he just lives about 50 miles from me.

Just put your time and strength into the things that YOU like and are interested in, Gage. Stay kind and honest and good hearted and you will be happy, no matter how those around you act. Example is the best teacher, so just continue to be a shining example to others.

Susan O.

 

[~Palomino~]

once again thanks everybody!!! It makes me feel so good to no that there are down-to-earth people that know that you can be a good/regular person if you dont play sports!

Chanda, I like your name too! I dont know why I changed it! oh well though, in a couple of months everyone will be used to it

Susan thanks so much for all the compiments!! All the stuff that Susan said about me, is her, plus double that! Susan is ALLWAYS there helping her kids, even though I dont think any of them live in her own state, and even though she has to drive hours to get to her kids and Susan allways tells me, I got to go help out my son so I will be gone for a couple of days! and Susan puts up with me LOL, She has taught me almost all the stuff I know about minis, and all the color genitics stuff (wich she is GREAT at!!) Thanks again Susan! Also, I am going to have major back problems when I am 25 LOL!!! I am 14 and 1'' away from being 6'' tall!

Like Susan said, I am just going to put all my effort I would have put into my sporsts, into what I like, and what I like, are MINIS I am just going to look at everything positive now, and if those people who are rude to me are going to be that way, why would I want them to like me!

uh-oh, the dogs are getting into something, I got to run!

but thanks again!!