Something mentioned in another post got me thinkin

[jacks'thunder]

I know we will all be seeing alot of family and friends and such this Hoilday. I was wondering how you all feel about all the hugs. I mean not from Mom or Dad but from ... lets say... uncle Ralph ...or from your brothers girlfriend or some stranger you just met?

I'm a huggy type of person. But I know alot of people are not. When I was little and we would go for Holidays at my Dads families houses, he would always tell me you don't have to hug anyone you feel uncomfortable with. So I'd just stick with him and my Mom.

Just courious!

Happy Holidays!

Leya

 

[Ashley]

Well thats easy, my family DOES NOT hug at all so dont have to deal with it.

Im not really a huggy type person, but was raised that way. I do have a few friends that give hugs when they are needed. So if I get hugged it normally from one of them, and will say its a bit odd.

 

[Lisa-Ruff N Tuff Minis]

The worst thing we can do to our kids is tell them go kiss so and so and go igive so and so a hug and take away there ability (and right) to listen to there gut and show affection when they choose to not when an adult tells them to.

 

[rabbitsfizz]

Oh Lisa I ma so glad to hear a parent say that!!!

It always has seemed nuts to me to do all this "never take candy form a stranger" thing and then force kids to hug and kiss.

Almost every child abuser is related or known to the child!!!

Oh and if anyone has hugs to spare, Debs could do with a few.

If there are any left over, so could I

 

[shane]

Oh Lisa I ma so glad to hear a parent say that!!!It always has seemed nuts to me to do all this "never take candy form a stranger" thing  and then force kids to hug and kiss.

Almost every child abuser is related or known to the child!!!

Oh and if anyone has hugs to spare, Debs could do with a few.

If there are any left over, so could I

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[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[HUGS]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]

there you go fizzy!

 

[JO~*]

As an adult I will hug a few people--darn few

As a kid I never hugged anyone shoot I wouldn't even talk to anyone, that remimds me of a story my Mom likes to tell. We lived by rail road tracks and the tramps (hobos) would come to our door looking for food, my Mom would not open the door as a rule. Well one day someone came to the door and when my Mom did opened the door it was Johova Witness lady sp? and I ran up and said "we don't talk to tramps"

this from the kid that never talked to anyone

Ok back to hugging, I never make my daughter hug people and I dislike it when someone trys to "make" her hug them. As long as Zoee is polite I am happy.

 

[nootka]

Our family when young rarely hugged each other, and I was glad...my mom was a heavy smoker and P.U. I could hardly stand to be near her.

That being said, as an adult, I welcome hugs from my friends and family, and I hug my children constantly.

I also do not force my children to hug or kiss anyone. They pretty much dictate their level of affection in any case. Colton is big into "throwing kisses" right now and rolls around town w/the window down in the back seat of the truck, waving and blowing kisses like he's in a parade. We are lucky we can lock his window control off, though, it gets carried away!

We have several good friends that are major huggers and it's really not that awkward at all...some of them are really GOOD huggers and ya KNOW you've been hugged with enthusiasm when they get ahold of you. *LOL*

And then there are the "weird ones" but we try to avoid those where possible. I think as long as it's done in love and respect, it's fine and enjoyable. Too bad there has to be any of the other kind of weird stuff involved at all, but that is life here on Earth, isn't it?

Liz M.

 

[minimama]

Yep! I'm a hugger!! Proud of it too! My kids can hug or not hug, their choice unless it is me they are choosing not to hug, then I will hunt them down and hug them!! LOL But I am one of those people that people hug! I have had strangers in teh grocery store hug me. It is just a thing.

 

[sedeh]

I'm definately a hugger! Though when I was a child I hated it when I was "obligated" to hug or kiss someone. I don't have children but I'm glad to see parent's that don't push their kids into doing something their uncomfortable with.

Definately need my hugs now though!

 

[Buckskin gal]

[SIZE=14pt]Hugs, Hugs and more Hugs. Hope you feel better!

[/SIZE]

 

 

 

 

Oh Lisa I ma so glad to hear a parent say that!!!
It always has seemed nuts to me to do all this "never take candy form a stranger" thing  and then force kids to hug and kiss.


Almost every child abuser is related or known to the child!!!


Oh and if anyone has hugs to spare, Debs could do with a few.


If there are any left over, so could I

511713[/snapback]

​

 

 

[Sonya]

My family was not huggy at all....My parents are wonderful people and did a good job with all of us, but showing of affection and saying "I love you" never happened when I was young.

I too am not a real huggy person, but I've come a long way, thanks to my husband. I always lived in my own little space that no one was to invade, unless I chose them too. My hubby has taught me to open up and that it's ok to show affection. I am 36 now and for the past 10 years I've always went out of my way to tell my family "I love them" and so forth. My family now hugs and tells each other "Love you" and I owe it all to my hubby, he changed me so that I could "teach" my family how to show affection. Some people just don't know how to show affection. My grandparents never taught my parents and my parents never taught me. But back to your real question, I am leary about hugging someone I don't know well and probably always will be. I don't necessarily think that's a bad thing. It makes me very uncomfortable when someone I don't know well tries to hug me.

But then again, there are people on the forum I would hug if I ever met them, isn't that weird! I guess I feel I know them well enough...when really they are total strangers...

((hugs Leya - finally going to get my tree up today))

 

[runamuk]

Well we are kinda a 50/50 split on the huggy gene's

......I am uncomfortable with close physical contact UNLESS it is someone I am close too......that said I had many friends I would hug on new years......and my youngest son is a major HUGGER and you cannot escape from him.....my sister who is even less huggie......has never excaped one of his bear hugs

Like Lisa I never encourage my children to hug or kiss anyone that makes them uncomfortable....likewise we were never forced to give so and so a hug or kiss as children........

 

[Jenn]

I'm not a big hugger, but I do hug my nieces and nephews. I have one gross uncle who is a cheek kisser, I try to avoid him!

 

[Minimor]

I'm not a huggy person at all--I don't come from a big family, and the few family members there are were never huggers. One great aunt that did like to hug....I tried to avoid!!

A few years back my boss retired--we had a pretty fancy reception for him one evening, and all the girls on staff really dressed up for it. In my job I work with a lot of dusty old documents, & it's not an office where there's any point in dressing up--good clothing just tends to get ruined, either with dust/dirt, or snags....so, for this party I pulled out my best dress, a snifty little black velvet number. Umm, well, I do spiff up quite nicely when I put my mind to it, but my coworkers never knew that

. At the reception a former supervisor (retired) came up to me & told me I looked so good he just had to give me a hug. No problem there--I was perfectly fine with hugging him--he used to always flirt with me in the office, but I always knew he was all talk, perfectly harmless. Another former supervisor, more recently retired, was right there, so he demanded a hug too. Okay, I went along with that though it was a little weird--he was another flirt, but I always thought he was perhaps not completely harmless...though I never had trouble fending him off. Well, it turns out that not a long time later he developed Parkinsons (or something similar, I don't think it was truly Parkinson's) and I believe he was in the early stages of Alzheimers....in any case, he began calling me on my private line at work & would talk dirty--he'd become fixated on that hug & how it had felt to him. CREEPY. He finally had to be banned from the office as he'd come in & wander around trying to talk to me--the ban included calling my line. I know he wasn't a well person & really didn't know exactly what he was doing/saying but it was all very disturbing even so. Since it all stemmed from that harmless little hug, I'm now even more anti-hugging.

I admit there was someone I wanted to hug the other day--I know he really needed a hug but he's someone very much like me....and I just didn't have the nerve to initiate a hug!

 

[susanne]

Hugs are like standing ovations...heavenly when sponstaneous, hideous when forced.

I love a good, heartfelt hug from someone who loves to give them. I detest it when people feel they're supposed to do it...even worse are the self-conscious, fashionista cheek kisses.

When I was little, I was the cute little blue-eyed blonde who everyone wanted to hug and kiss and pick up. I HATED it, but they seemed to think it was their right, and always did it anyway. Getting hugs and kisses from strangers and distant relatives was right up there with having to wear dresses and be told that I should like baby blue, not black. I was a prickly little kid, and my mother and older sisters were determined to make me act ladylike. I was totally bullheaded, and they made me even more so. I was set on my own manifest destiny, and I would not be ruled.

Funny, but the older I get, the more I return to that stubborn, introverted, prickly little girl...

 

[Sterling]

Hugs are like standing ovations...heavenly when sponstaneous, hideous when forced.

I have to agree with this statement. That being said, I am not much for hugging/kissing except for family and friends that I know.

How about that distant cousin that you have never ever met before in your life!

Don't you love it when you're shoved up into the limelight and are just standing there face to face without a clue what to do??? !!!

You extend your arm into a handshake and then are wrapped up like a burrito into this person who you know nothing aout.

Then there's the work related Christmas parties where everyone knows each other except for the spouses and then there you are again finding yourself enveloped inside these arms that are'nt familiar to you

Shall I go on? Thing about the area that I live in, alot of people are like that....even if you've just met them once I find it interesting that men and women alike feel it necessary to greet you with a hug and a kiss. Not just on the cheek or in the air...but smack dab on the lips!!

I'm quick with the hand for an extended handshake, but sometimes I just get caught off guard.