Volunteer firemen

[Happy Valley]

I am a teacher. Some of my boys are over 18 and are volunteer firemen. Yesterday there was a fire call and three very nice, upstanding, big hearted boys left and came back different. It was not a fire, it was a horrible wreck. The driver was dead at the scene. One of the boys came back to my classroom to collect his things and I inquired about the fire. He told me it wasn't a fire. His chin was quivering. I asked if it was a wreck and he said yes. I asked if he's seen something he shouldn't have, and he said yes and collapsed. He would not talk about it, he just melted down, right there. Today he was still very subdued. The other two students that answered the call were similarly affected today. Very subdued and "off."

Turns out that those three boys, and yes they are still boys at 18, were the ones who had to block off the view from the public while they got the guy out and put him into a body bag. His head was nearly severed and it was very messy. They had to stand there, facing that mess, smelling the smells, hearing the sounds...they came back... different. That's the only way I can describe it. I hope they get over this.

Just venting, I suppose, I know that the military sends young men to kill at that age, but these are kids I've known for a LONG LONG time, since they were small, and it kills me that they saw that. I wish I could undo it for them, but I can't. Seems like they oughta have to be older to witness things like this.

Stacye

 

[crponies]

Well, I can undertand that it is hard to seem them go through that, but I'm not sure age would change that. It would/should be hard for anyone to see that whether you are 8, 18, or 81. That is not something anyone should have to see. Is there a maturity level that would make it easier to deal with? Maybe, but the age of reaching that maturity level would vary from one individual to the next.

 

[nootka]

The very sad truth is that they are old enough to wreak this very same destruction (drive cars, etc.) so they should, I suppose, be able to see "what can happen."

I don't know that I would want my own son seeing those things at that age, but at 18, he will have been a driver for two years, and old enough to go to war, to vote, all of these things carry great consequence.

Just yesterday, a high school boy was killed in his car when he drove over the center line and clipped a cement truck. I have a scanner and heard the calls between the dispatcher and the police officers as they sorted out a way to contact his next of kin.

I can't imagine the pain and terror of those next of kin in receiving that call. I had a nightmare last night that my youngest son had passed away and in that dream I refused to give up his little body. So much is beyond our control.

Perhaps those boys can find a way to come to grips with their grief, for that is what it is, and to turn it into something they can use, something they can give to others. In other words, plant flowers in the "manure" for lack of a better allegory.

The line of work they volunteered in is fraught with such traumatic witness, and either they will learn to live and deal with it (I have a good friend that is a wrecker driver and oh the things he's seen even in just that capacity), or they will move on.

I wish there was no reason any of them had to witness such horror. Unfortunately, life is not such.

My thoughts are with them....

Liz M.

 

[strass]

I was an EMT and Industrial Firefighter for 6 years. I've witnessed horrible things happen to people I hardly knew as well as close friends I worked with. There is simply nothing that can prepare you for it the first time.

I don't want to say that it gets easier, because it really doesn't. It's more like you get used to blocking it out. In time, they will learn to focus on their job and let go of what they've seen when they go home.

There's always a case that can get past your defenses from time to time and it's important to have someone to talk to...I don't mean a professional psych, I mean someone else who's been there.

If these boys weren't volunteering for the right reasons, they'll sure rethink the whole thing now. They WILL learn to appreciate life in a way they never have before. They'll know how fragile it is and not take it for granted as so many young people do.

At any rate, they are doing us all a favor by giving their own time, sweat, blood and tears to help out those in need. Sometimes being a hero means just blocking the view so some little kid doesn't see something that will give him/her nightmares...and then having those nightmares yourself.

They deserve our support. (Same goes for our military and medical professionals.)

 

[Marty]

My oldest is a volunteer fire fighter but so far only has assisted in 4 fires and no one was hurt. I hope he never sees stuff like that but he still wants to be a Marine and the thought of him over in Iraq terrifies me.

 

[rabbitsfizz]

At the end of the day, it is this sort of thing that moulds children into adults. They were old enough and brave enough to volunteer- well, they saw a very small tip of what they could see- it was messy, BUT the man was dead. He was not in pain, screaming, he was out of it. What they saw, all the mess, that was just a shell, he was no longer there.

I feel for them, but it could have been so much worse.

These lads are now a good, strong step closer to being adult than they were when they left the classroom.

They are unlikely to ever be in a car wreck that they have caused.

They will tell their friends and may well save many lives, JUST because of this experience.

They were needed at the wreck, or they would not have been called.

Someone obviously thought they were ready- and they were, as they did not break down until afterwards.

I wish all men could keep this ability to let out their emotions that they have when they are young, it would save so much heart ache later.

Give them your support.

Tell them you are there for them.

Be proud of them, and tell them that you are.

 

[justaboutgeese]

Life and its realities does suck. Many of us have tried to protect our children from the things that are real in life but not necessarily pretty. There comes a time for all of us when we need to face life and the darker side of reality. Our soldiers for example, During WW2 the average age was 26, during the viet nam conflict it was 19. Reality seems to come home at younger ages all the time. I suspect when these young boys joined the fire department aside from wanting to help the community it was also a part of the social aspect. Reality just got in the way. We do our best to prepare them for life then life continues the lessons.

 

[Bluerocket]

Just think - they are the same age as many of the guys and gals in Iraq and Afghanistan - and many of the kids drafted in the armed forces who had to go to Vietnam and other wars.

Think of the pre-teens that are fighting in the wars/battles/feuds in Africa - 11 years old and younger - out there killing and maiming people - to stay alive.

What a difficult experience - don't know if I would have been able to handle it if I were in their shoes!!

JJay

 

[Happy Valley]

Update...

They are doing better. I saw some smiles and heard a little laughter. Still subdued, but better than nothing. Thanks for all your support. I printed off and let them read some of these posts, and I think you all helped them. Thanks for being so kind and supportive. It is difficult to be objective when I am looking at these young faces I've known for so long, and watched them grow, and see the difficulty that they are having. They will make it.

Thanks again,

Stacye