What do you think of this type of Parenting?

[Carolyn R]

First off, he is an IT guy, chances are it may be a part computer, not her actual computer. Second, I am parent of a 14 soon to be 15 year old, and you know what, if she had repeatedly done things this disrespectful to me, I can't say I would not have done the same thing. I have, on occasion almost taken a hammer to her cell phone.

My daughter is expected to get As and Bs in school because she is capable of it, if she was only capable of Cs, that is what I would expect. Long story short, she is expected to do her very best each and every day, and if that were to be Ds then so be it. Her grades fall below Bs she gets everything taken.....cell, computer and internet privelidges, ipad, no plans with friends, her grades go up, she gets it back. I have internet access to her grades so i can check them daily if i wanted to. Sometimes she loses privildges for a week sometimes a month, however long it takes her to get back up to As and Bs. Otherwise she will spend ten minutes on homework and two hours texting. Oh, and her phone is a pay as you go plan, so I am not paying on a phone that isn't being used. She is expected to pitch in when asked, she is expected to mind her Ps and Qs and not have a garbage mouth, she is expected to respect her elders even if she is not fond of them, she has been told that what she does today can have ramifications tomorrow, teachers and adults are not her enemies and it is easier to show them you are a fun loving kid that does not know it all rather than a rebellious brat, some day you may need their help or need them on your side. She is a good kid, we have a very close relationship and I constantly let her know I may not always like what she does but I will always love her. I may get angry, it will pass. She may get peeved at me and that too will pass, I will always be her Mom and even in the worst moments, I love her dearly and always will.

Their was a lot expected of me when I was her age and younger, my father had an iron fist, a voice that could make a mountain move out of his way, and a heart of gold. My four siblings and I have all turned out just fine and we laugh about it now. Looking back there were times we were arrogant S O B s and needed a little fear of God put into us.

Looking back now i wish some of our friends growing up had better role models, maybe things would be so much different for them today. Too many parents make constant idle threats, Too many parents try to explain away their kids actions, too many parents make excuses. This is a scary day and age, way too much techknowledgy out there. I am sure his bark is worse than his bite, and all I can say is maybe not to this extreme but more parents need to follow through.

 

[Katiean]

If more parents would take the upper hand on kids, maybe kids wouldn't be such s#1t'$

 

[kaykay]

I say Kudos!! This was not the first time she had pulled this. She had previously posted a rant about her parents on FB and was warned not to do it again. That time they took away her computer and grounded her and that obviously did not get thru.

If more parents would watch what their kids do online and actually discipline them this world would be a better place.

I am also not a fan of letting young teens on FB.

My kids all had to do chores etc. None of my kids had a cell phone until they were driving. None of mine had tv's in their rooms until they were 17.

 

[Jill]

Love it! We'd be better off as a whole if there were more dads like this one! I was a total **** when I was a teenager. I sincerely think the best thing my parents ever did for me was to make me buy ALL my own things (other than food / water) from the time I was 15. If we had FB back in the 1980's, that could totally have been my dad (or mom!).

 

[barnbum]

I say Kudos!! This was not the first time she had pulled this. She had previously posted a rant about her parents on FB and was warned not to do it again. That time they took away her computer and grounded her and that obviously did not get thru.

If more parents would watch what their kids do online and actually discipline them this world would be a better place.

I am also not a fan of letting young teens on FB.

My kids all had to do chores etc. None of my kids had a cell phone until they were driving. None of mine had tv's in their rooms until they were 17.

We were meaner.

The only computer was in the family room. No laptops until high school graduation. No TVs in the room until Justin bought an old black and white one from a garage sale--we don't have cable, but it got a few channels. They might have watched it for an hour.

Justin bought his own cell phone when he started driving, and we did get Rachel one when she was in a drum corp and we needed to be able to communicate about pick up times. There was never a game here kids could play on the TV--X Box?--no video games--and no rated R movies. From birth we followed through on what we said would happen. They are good kids--no--they are GREAT kids.

This fella's daughter needs a firm hand--and she's getting one. Better late than never.

 

[Tab]

I haven't read the responses to this yet but I have so wanted to comment on it when it was posted on facebook.

I guess I expected something different. I remember being a teenager and think that this could really backfire, especially when the relationship with her parents is already so shaky. I think she gets her disrespectful attitude, lack of self control, and language from her FATHER. I do agree that he should have confiscated and sold her computer or at least locked it up, along with her phone/ipod/or any other (extremely) unnecessary luxuries. Kind of wasteful to put a bullet through it. Seems he is also punishing himself after putting the time and money into the upgrades. May I also say how glad I am that there was no such thing as facebook when I was a teenager!

I don't even have a clue on how to parent teenagers, but I was one not long ago. I wish I had been closer with my Dad. I really hope that this father/daughter relationship improves, otherwise it is going to get worse before it gets better. I hope that by some miracle this blows over for them and they become closer. I was just disappointed to see the language he used as he was criticizing the language she used. Some would say this is tough love. I would say where is the love?

Science proves that teenagers have unstable brain function, what is his excuse?

 

[Sonya]

He is the Parent, she is the child...he is not suppose to be her friend, he is suppose to be a parent. She sounds like a selfish brat and she deserved it.

 

[Taylor Richelle]

This is perfect!!!!! This would be something my parents would do

I'm 18 myself and often have bad days where I think these things but I would never ever do something like this!

I respect my parents more then that! They do so much for me and I know I need to help around the house if I want something

 

[Reijel's Mom]

I'm all for tough parenting and I think so many young people today are just selfish BRATS. I hope that I do a better job with my toddler and that is starting now with a lot of love and even some choices but when we say "no" we mean it.

That said, in my eyes, this man basically entered into a public peeing contest with his teenage daughter, not the brightest way to parent in my eyes. His shooting a laptop was completely wasteful and I think as an IT guy he should have cleaned it up and gave it to an organization that could have used it, rather than being so vengeful and showing her even further that we don't need to have respect for the things we have. I think I know where daughter gets her 'tude from.

Love the teenagers I meet nowadays who have JOBS. It seems there is just a really big difference in those that do and those that don't.

 

[Tab]

I didn't have conventional jobs as a teenager, but I had plenty of work! I earned money helping Dad with his landscaping service, Mom with her professional dog grooming, I babysat, and I took care of the horses that we owned. My brother was a computer tech and my sister had a few different jobs while we were being raised. (I could definitely be difficult at times.)

The huge manure pile out back is now one of my Dad's gardens and I can say that I put that there by cleaning stalls. I was also homeschooled, so my parents really did raise us. My Mom chose to give up her all of her freedom to take us out of school and give me and my two siblings her most valuable gift to us, her time. I will praise her at the gates! My Dad worked hard to make it possible for mom to stay home with us, and he knew it was his duty as a husband and father to provide for his family.

A lot of "kids today" are being raised by daycare, teachers, and peers, and are being given things by mom and dad without working for them. By the time they graduate they do not share Ma and Pa's values. You don't even know who or what values you are sending off to college. So I don't think the blame should all be on the kids. There are reasons why they are brats, and maybe it is because everybody but the parents are taking part in raising them.

My siblings and I are far from perfect, we are very opinionated, for one, hehe, but I hope I can honor my parents who worked hard to be confident in the children they raised. I only hope I can put as much passion, love, work, and discipline into raising our own two little guys!

 

[Riverrose28]

I didn't have conventional jobs as a teenager, but I had plenty of work! I earned money helping Dad with his landscaping service, Mom with her professional dog grooming, I babysat, and I took care of the horses that we owned. My brother was a computer tech and my sister had a few different jobs while we were being raised. (I could definitely be difficult at times.)

The huge manure pile out back is now one of my Dad's gardens and I can say that I put that there by cleaning stalls. I was also homeschooled, so my parents really did raise us. My Mom chose to give up her all of her freedom to take us out of school and give me and my two siblings her most valuable gift to us, her time. I will praise her at the gates! My Dad worked hard to make it possible for mom to stay home with us, and he knew it was his duty as a husband and father to provide for his family.

A lot of "kids today" are being raised by daycare, teachers, and peers, and are being given things by mom and dad without working for them. By the time they graduate they do not share Ma and Pa's values. You don't even know who or what values you are sending off to college. So I don't think the blame should all be on the kids. There are reasons why they are brats, and maybe it is because everybody but the parents are taking part in raising them.

My siblings and I are far from perfect, we are very opinionated, for one, hehe, but I hope I can honor my parents who worked hard to be confident in the children they raised. I only hope I can put as much passion, love, work, and discipline into raising our own two little guys!

Wow! You sound like one of my kids! Good for you! My kids not only had to work for their extras, we had a chore board for daily chores. Everyone was welcome, they could even have their friends help with chores, but in this life evryone must work for wants! I couldn't watch the video as I have dial up, so don't know exactly what was said or heard, only what was posted, but in this day and age I do agree with some of the others that maybe he should have taken the lap top and donated it to a worthy cause instead of shooting it. I also would not have posted it on FB for public humiliation, I would have kept my dirty laundry at home.

 

[HGFarm]

Well when I was that age, there was no such thing as laptops, cell phones, cable or satellite but we did NOT EVER have tv's in our rooms, or telephones. We had to use the phone in the kitchen where there were NO private conversations! We had a family tv in the front room and when I was in high school it was so exciting that my parents got a little bitty one for their room. That was really living! We never had color tv when I was living at home. We all had a long list of chores to do every day, and dont think you were going to get out of them in any way either. Our homework better be done, our rooms better be cleaned and my oldest sister left for grade school one time without making her bed..... my mother went and got her out of school and made her come home and make it. None of us ever left and forgot to make your bed. Though I was not even alive at that point, we all knew the 'legend' and the consequences of not doing what you were responsible for.

I know some parents who have no set bedtimes for kids, dont follow through on chores- if they dont get done, so what- the parents dont seem to care. I dont know what is wrong with people but at least this guy is trying to teach his daughter something here, whether some think it's 'misguided' or not. And maybe he figured the 'shock value' was the only thing that was going to wake her up, since prior warnings, grounding, etc... didnt work.

 

[kristen_tg]

my mother went and got her out of school and made her come home and make it. None of us ever left and forgot to make your bed. Though I was not even alive at that point, we all knew the 'legend' and the consequences of not doing what you were responsible for.

I was nodding with everything you said until this.

Your mom thought your sister making her bed was more important than her education? Your mom was so furious your sister didn't make her bed she drove down to the school, dragged your sister out of class, took her home, had her make the bed and took her BACK to school? That's downright scary.

 

[HGFarm]

Yes she did.... after years of telling her, reminding her, etc every single day ... and NOTHING working to get her to make her bed, that worked. She never forgot again. I doubt, in grade school, that she missed much for the few minutes it took to make her bed (and my sister was a good student who went on to college and got her Masters, lol, so it certainly didn't hurt her academically). I think the 30 minutes it might have taken was well worth it to never have to deal with it again, and not have nagging every morning to get stuff done. My mother never thought ANYthing was more important than education, but her home also always looked like something out of Better Homes & Gardens. Sometimes a little 'tough love' works better than nagging over and over and over and not getting anywhere.

 

[SeaBreeze]

Hummmm... I guess I have a different view of this. Where do we think this child learned this bad disrespectfull behaviour? It's real clear to me the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Very sad. Parent = role model.

 

[Genie]

 

[HGFarm]

It sounds like he has tried other things... maybe getting down on her level is the only thing that makes her take notice?

 

[KanoasDestiny]

I work at a school, and when you deal with numerous foul mouthed, disrespectful, argumentative kids on a daily basis, sometimes lowering yourself down to their level is the only thing they understand. While I'm sure he could have handled his daughter in several different ways, I applaud him for following through with her punishment. If more parents stepped up, maybe there wouldn't be as many youths in gangs, committing crime, or getting pregnant.

 

[Katiean]

It all just sounds like the parents of kids now adays don't know how to parent kids in the first place. They don't have chores and they have everything they want. Parents just want to be "the COOL PARENTS". They want to be buddies first and parents second. I think if more kids lost their laptops and phones, the world might be a better place. We never would have talked to our parents like that and we sure would not have written something like she did. If we had, we would have gotten our hides tanned. I am in the 50 something group. I provided a means for Jessie and Joey to have some of their own money. They raise guinea pigs for a small local pet store. I buy the feed and bedding. The kids did all of the work. It came to a point that Joey didn't want to take his turn at cleaning the cages. I told him that if he didn't clean the cages (3 of them) he would not get baby money from the next batch that went to the store. He didn't clean and he didn't get the money. It hurt when the next litter was sold. Then a second time he didn't want to do the work. He was told that if he didn't do as he was supposed to and clean the cages he would no longer get guinea pig money (they get $10 per baby). He chose to go another direction and now Jessie does all of the work and she knows if I say something, it better be done. But then she is a good kid. At 14 she really isn't a problem.

 

[Minimor]

I find nothing at all disturbing about the "gun thing" and I see nothing wrong with what this father did.

There's nothing that suggests to me that the parents are disrespectful people...so I wouldn't assume the daughter learned her disrespectful behavior from them. It's entirely possible that the only thing they did wrong was be too lenient for too long, and she ran away with that. It happens--sometimes the nicest people end up with the most obnoxious children.

And yes, I do believe that in some cases the only way to get through to someone is to put yourself at their level and deal with them in a way that they can understand!