When comments shouldn't hurt, but they do

[KanoasDestiny]

This morning I was trying to debate about what I wanted for breakfast. I mentioned to my hubby that I've been doing really well with portion control and that I've lost a couple pounds. His response was that 'I always fluctuate a lot'.

I know he didn't mean it to be hurtful, but it was. I need support, not doubt. I'm happy with even the least amount of progress, but of course he doesn't understand that because when he puts his mind to losing weight, he can drop ten pounds while sleeping.

I think it's attitudes like his, thats giving me the most motivaton right now. Sadly, I think I'm the biggest doubter that I can do this.

 

[Debby - LB]

that's setting you up for failure.. You have to make up your mind that YOU are the person you are doing this for. Try not to fish for compliments or support from family, that should come naturally. If you are like me, even though I'd be ecstatic to have lost the weight you have! no one would notice it. I'd have to lose a good 20 to 25 lbs before anyone would notice. Also realize that spouses are insecure when it comes to their partner trying to change.

You can do this!!!

 

[jacks'thunder]

Debby you are right on! I cut 8" off my hair and my husband threw a fit! Change is hard for my hubby.

Sara you can do this!!!

 

[SugaryCharm]

You can do it Sara!

At least you recognize that your hubby wasn't trying to be hurtful--hopefully that helps at least a little. I have a terrible case of foot-in-mouth disease so I have make a conscious effort to avoid phrasing things in such a way that they might be hurtful, and sometimes I fail anyway

 

[KanoasDestiny]

Thanks guys, I know you can too!

I read somewhere that when you decide to lose weight, you shouldn't tell anyone. Of course I can't hide it from my husband because he can see that my plate size has changed. But I haven't told any other living soul that is close to me. You guys are the only other ones who know.

I know that I have to do this. Every day I'm getting older, and no one is going to change me but me. I'm tired of being the biggest person in a room, of being scared to go to the doctor's because they'll have to weigh me, of having tight seat belts and clothes, of looking in the mirror and not liking who I see....

It's now or never!!

 

[KanoasDestiny]

I have the same problem SugaryCharm. Sometimes I word something wrong (especially when I'm writing somthing), and afterwards I realize, Ooops I didn't mean it to sound that way. Lol.

 

[jacks'thunder]

Thanks guys, I know you can too!

I read somewhere that when you decide to lose weight, you shouldn't tell anyone. Of course I can't hide it from my husband because he can see that my plate size has changed. But I haven't told any other living soul that is close to me. You guys are the only other ones who know.

I know that I have to do this. Every day I'm getting older, and no one is going to change me but me. I'm tired of being the biggest person in a room, of being scared to go to the doctor's because they'll have to weigh me, of having tight seat belts and clothes, of looking in the mirror and not liking who I see....

It's now or never!!

You are not alone!!!

 

[Jill]

Sara, keep the faith! I think your hubby may have meant more to say he loves you regardless. Men NEVER seem to be good at putting it into words well! And, yes, men do seem to have a much easier time losing weight than women. You're beautiful, regardless!

 

[KanoasDestiny]

Thanks Jill.

 

[dannigirl]

I have a similar problem, Sara. Dave has seen me try to lose weight most of the 37 years we have been married. Now, I just don't say much unless he asks me. Then I will keep it simple with "Just trying not to eat so much cause it isn't really good for me". He has come to learn that I am not really looking for his support, just need him to leave me do my thing. I do try to eat what he eats for our main meal. The other meals are whatever we find anyway. I just eat less of what he does and add a few veggies.

You can do it. You are soooooo worth the effort. Your health is the ultimate goal and the sooner the better.

Angie

 

[KanoasDestiny]

I think I will start keeping a tight lip about it too. I just seem to blurt it out before I catch myself, and now that I've actually changed over to the smaller plates, hopefully he'll never notice small changes I make.

Although, he isn't usually negative, I just know that he know's I can't do it. And that irks me! I just want to prove him wrong so badly. Lol