When the horse life hurts...

[Minidreamz0581]

My heart is too heavy to even think straight. People talk about having a ‘heart horse’. There was; I still can’t believe that I’m writing about her in the past tense, a precious OTTB mare out at the boarding barn named Envy (her racing name was U Stylin). I had her leased for several months starting in late 2018 and ending March of 2019 due to an old track injury flaring up that decided that it didn’t want to go away. This mare was just wonderful. She was smart, confident, and she had just the right amount of mare sass. I connected with her on a level that I had never connected with a full sized horse before, and likely never will again. I still brought her in regularly to groom her and I would always stop to give her hugs and scratches when I went out in the field. She belongs to the barn and they decided to breed her to the neighbor’s lovely Welsh Pony stallion. Yesterday she gave birth to a beautiful filly, then lost her life due to post foaling complications. I can’t begin to describe my grief. Envy did not belong to me on paper, but she did in my heart. When I had to stop riding her due to the track injury, I called her the horse who broke my heart. Now she has broken it twice. I’m helping bottle feed the precious little orphan that she left behind. I’m praying that little Ivy makes it through as she is all that I have left of her mother. I understand that this isn’t mini related and I do apologize for posting it here. Though I’ve never met anyone who is on here in person, I consider many of you to be friends and a valued support through my equine journey. People who don’t work with horses simply do not understand this level of grief over ‘just a horse’ and I desperately needed to share this with some fellow horse people. Please forgive me this once

I included some photos of Envy and little Ivy. Rest in peace my beautiful bay angel...you will be missed

 

[Minidreamz0581]

Another pic of Envy’s beautiful face and two of me with little Ivy tonight. The right side of her face is swollen because when Envy went down and started thrashing she accidentally kicked her baby in the face. The vet thinks that her jaw is ok and that the swelling will go down. She’s suckling on the bottle just fine so we’re hoping that all is well. Her tongue sticks out a bit at the moment but other than that she seems like a healthy little filly.

 

[Willow Flats]

Very sorry to hear of your loss of Envy. May her little Ivy help give you joy during this hard time. {{{Hugs}}}

 

[ShawneeCreek]

So sorry for your loss. Your hurt is equal to your love.

 

[chandab]

Sorry for your loss.
You guys have your work cut out for you caring for an orphan foal, it's a round the clock job for several weeks. Sounds like you have it under control, but if you would like to read a couple good articles on caring for an orphan, Progressive Nutrition website has a couple that are very good, yes, they promote their products, but the information for timing and such is still very good.
http://www.prognutrition.com/pn/nutrition-information/how-to-feed-the-orphaned-foal/index.htmhttp://www.prognutrition.com/pn/nutrition-information/what-to-feed-the-orphaned-foal/index.htm

 

[Taz]

I'm so sorry for your loss. It's absolutely heartbreaking to lose one so dear to us.
Ivy is adorable and it sounds like she's in good hands with you, enjoy your time with her.

 

[MerMaeve]

Oh I'm so sorry!! Envy was beautiful!
I hope Ivy will help with the grieving process.

 

[Pitter Patter]

So sorry for your loss of a beautiful soul. I believe grief of a loved one hurts so much because when they leave us they take with them a piece of our heart. May Ivy help you heal your heart. She is Envy's gift to you.

 

[Holly Chisholm]

I am so, so sorry Absolutely heartbreaking. My vet did tell me that foaling causes more deaths than colic which shocked me. Praying for health and strength for you and little Ivy. God bless you.

 

[Minidreamz0581]

Thank you all so much for the support (and information chandab!). I appreciate it so much I have yet to make it through a day without crying, but it’s less and less each day. I go out regularly to put fresh flowers on Envy’s grave. I took the night shift with Ivy last night. She nickers for her bottle the same way her momma used to nicker for her food! She has so much of her mom in her...it’s both heartbreaking and comforting at the same time. She’s such a playful little foal...she makes me laugh with her crazy antics! She loves to run in the indoor arena. Though she’s half Welsh Pony, her stride is all Thoroughbred! She even does flying changes with ease. You can’t help but smile with Ivy around! I’ll post some new pictures soon. I’ll never stop missing Envy, but her daughter; her legacy, is helping me slowly but surely pick up the pieces of my heart