Your thoughts on Boys & Girls and JR High dating

[minimama]

The sex in the schools and drugs, and promiscuity, goes back more often than not, to parents just giving up, or not trying in the first place. Just because a lot of it goes on, does not make it right and does not mean it cannot be stopped. Concerned parents CAN stop it. Be involved, ask questions, talk to your kids. My kids have freedoms, and get to do things, but they have to earn them and they have to show me I can trust them. I meet all of my childrens friends before they are allowed to go over to the friends house, and their parents too. My kids do not watch inappropriate movies, why let them think that sex with every guy is the norm? Those ratings were put in place for a reason!! It is not that my children are not exposed to the real world either, they know what goes on and they don't like it and that is why they asked me to home school them so they did not have to constantly fight to hang on to their morals by being around all the junk that goes on. And from our experience in our schools, it comes from parents that are not there for their children, and just buy them everything they want to appease them but do not spend the time with them. Now that is kind of a blanket statement and I do not mean it that way, but more often than not, this is what we are finding in our schools here. Parents go off to work in the morning and hand the kid a bunch of money, and come home late and have no idea where or what that child has done all day. But then wonder what heppened when there kids get in trouble at school. What is the difference between, my dad is so cool, look at eh new IPOD he bought me and, my dad is so cool he took me to a ballgame? Teh IPOD breaks and gets lost, but the memory of th etime you spent with your kids is forever. That you cared enough to take time for them adn show them they are what is important to you.

Ok, I didn't mean to get up on my darn soapbox again. Getting down now. LOL

 

[Lisa-Ruff N Tuff Minis]

And I think one thing we all have to remember is that no matter how good your parenting skills, no matter how much you control there enviroment, show them love, teach them ethics and morals..

Bottom line is they are kids, have there own ideas and identity and sometimes dont always make the best choices.. those choices dont define them for life

 

[nootka]

I would have also told her to thank him, but again she wasn't allowed to date at that age, supervised or not.

Hopefully they can be friends if she is also interested in that. If not, then I guess she needs to communicate that she is not interested in him without hurting his feelings.

My son did go to movies and events (usually paintball or something like that) along with boys his own age, but there were not girls there (and yeah, we did check up from time to time).

At nearly 17, however, he does occasionally go to the movies with a girl friend (note I said girl friend not girlfriend b/c that's how HE would want it. *LOL* and I don't know any better!) and I am ok with that as long as they don't go anywhere I was not informed about prior and stick to public places.

Liz M.

 

[wildoak]

And I think one thing we all have to remember is that no matter how good your parenting skills, no matter how much you control there enviroment, show them love, teach them ethics and morals..Bottom line is they are kids, have there own ideas and identity and sometimes dont always make the best choices.. those choices dont define them for life

Amen. My older daughter's friends - for the most part - were from families I knew, she grew up playing with the kids, and it was not so hard to keep tabs. My younger changed schools a couple of times, and would seek out kids from families we didn't know, who didn't have rules. I fought it all the way through middle and high school, called some parents to let them know what was going on in their house and didn't make any friends that way, but so be it. I volunteered at their schools all the way through. She had a horse, rode with 4H, was with me many weekends at horse shows....and still went her own way. I thought I knew what was going on with her, but I know now there was much that went on behind my back. The problem with group outings is that once they leave your sight, you can't assure they won't pair off or leave the group. Mine did. And yet, you can't keep them in a bubble. You do the best you can, spend time at the school, keep your ears and mind open to the possibilities......and say a prayer.

Jan

 

[IllusiveHussler]

I'm 17 now. My parents have a "no dating until you are 16" rule...Of course I always got in a fight with my mom about and now that I'm past 16 I could care less about having a boyfriend. haha(Funny how that works, huh?)

My mom doesn't mind if I go out with a co-ed group to the movies or to the mall as long as she knows(has heard me talking to her about) some of the kids. She's fine with me going to dances and to sport events to cheer on our team with friends.

Though I was a bad 15 year old and had a "boyfriend" but I felt so bad about it I broke-up with the guy and then wrote my mom this really long note about it...She forgave me and didn't yell at me luckily...She's a good mom.

 

[HJF]

:

I'm 17 now. My parents have a "no dating until you are 16" rule...Of course I always got in a fight with my mom about and now that I'm past 16 I could care less about having a boyfriend. haha(Funny how that works, huh?)

My mom doesn't mind if I go out with a co-ed group to the movies or to the mall as long as she knows(has heard me talking to her about) some of the kids. She's fine with me going to dances and to sport events to cheer on our team with friends.

Though I was a bad 15 year old and had a "boyfriend" but I felt so bad about it I broke-up with the guy and then wrote my mom this really long note about it...She forgave me and didn't yell at me luckily...She's a good mom.

Wow that sounds like me!! lol. I'm 15 (almost 16). My mom has never made any rules about boyfriends and dating because she reallt trusts me, in that aspect (even though she didn't, I never ever did anything with a boy). It's actually quite funny..around Jr. High I was kind of "obsessed" with boys and was I guess, pretty immature. I never had a boyfriend and wanted one soo bad. Now, in the 10th grade, my horses are my priority

: . A boyfriend, I think, would tear me away from my horses. I'm not interested in them..not in the least right now..lol.

Acutally to prove that..there is a guy who I went to school with for a long time a few years ago. He left my school for the boys Catholic school. I had the biggest crush on him ever...we were pretty good friends..we pretty much just goofed around. Last week he asked me on a date (I haven't seen/talked to him in real life in 2 years just on the computer). I told him I don't have time for him. Lol!

 

[Secret22]

Okay, well I am allowed to sort of date, I mean like I have a boyfriend and I see him everyday at school and I chat every night on phone or internet. I ma not allowed to go out at night alone with a boy, I have to go with mates. I am going out next friday to our massive oarty/canival sorta thing that we have in our town every year. I will be goignt o that at night but I will be with 20++ of my well trusted mates, my friend whom I will be staying withs Mum will picik us up 11-12 pm. I knwo people on here will want to give me a blowing up to this but oh well, I going to have fun, if people are going to flame me please pm me

:

 

[rhea]

Well, another teenager here, I'm almost 17 and have never dated, mostly because I've never been asked out. I'm fairly certain my parents had a no-dating til 16 years rule, but we've never really talked about it. LOL, but I'm pretty sure I could date if I wanted to; my mom seems to try to set me up with some guys. Really, even though I thought so at the time, I wasn't mature enough to date before 16. I doubt that I even am now (of course I'd always like to think I am, but I really don't know...haven't lived long enough to know what maturity really is for me). I've already decided that I don't want to really date right now, but if a guy asked me out (If I REALLY liked him) I'd be fine with group outtings. I just don't want to deal with the whole one on one thing.

I've spent time in coed (ie: being the only or one of two girls in a group of 7) group situations, but my parents knew about it and were ok(as far as I know!) with it a) because all the guys were my brothers friends who he's known for a looong time b) because my brother was with us and he sure wouldnt let anything happen to his baby sister and c) because I know the guys well enough, and they know me well enough not to mess with me! Although I really wouldn't suggest the guy-girl ratio

: but my friends live far away so they could never come. Anyways, I think it really depends on the individual, and of course how much you trust them.