I need to know something!

[Betsy]

Ok here goes:

I want to Bawl

right now as I am writing this,because I feel it's my fault!!

My Dad was a good guy,but his temper was not by any far means!!! ok here's the story as it happend in my viewing.

I was at "R" Nationals in Tulsa(forgot the year) and I was done with all my classes that time so

it was time to go home(back to Altus) well me and mom started arguing over something,and dad got out of the pickup(mom told him to stay in it) he came over and started pulling my hair. He had a good

chunk full of it in his hand,I at this point was screaming for him to let go. mom was slapping his hand

"let her go is what she was saying" and I did something I regret for the rest of my life,I pushed him for him to let go of me. and when I did he fell and broke his hip,( I didn't mean to I hate myself for it)

and on the way to the Hospital he had a heart attack. they couldn't do surgery on the hip until they stabalized his heart. I was still at the Nationals fairgrounds during all this, at this time I am Bawling my eyes out

Mom called my brother and told him what happend. He went to town to the DHS and turned me in, saying "She tried to kill my daddy"

No way would I try to do that I loved my Daddy,I promise I did!! I just didn't like his temper.

so after all that he went downhill from there and ending up passing away in July 30,2005

I just feel all this is my fault and he would still be alive if it wasn't for me

I don't know what to do anymore ?? Keep blaming myself that this was my Fault???

Please tell me what should I do?

Honest to God truth: I really did love my daddy every picture of me when I was little, I was always sitting on his lap!!!

 

[Brandi*]

First of all, although it is a rather heart wrenching story, I would like you to know that it was most certainly not your fault

You've got to believe that. You did what you felt was needed at the time to protect yourself and accidents do happen. For an older person a broken hip is very bad news but that is not what killed him

I am a big believer in everything happens for a reason. It was your Dad's time to go and if it hadn't of happened that way it would have happened another way. Please don't beat yourself up. If it was me I would seek some professional help in dealing with this. I am sure it isn't easy and I think they could really help you see that it wasn't your fault. I am so sorry things happened the way they did

 

[mininik]

No, you're not a bad person and it's definitely not your fault your dad passed. If you're not talking to a professional about this already, you need to.

 

[LisaF.]

I agree with other's, I really think you need to talk to a professional about this.

 

[Connie P]

My goodness that is a lot for a young lady to have to take in. Please promise you will see a therapist soon.

 

[Betsy]

Please promise you will see a therapist soon.

when I was in a school in Ada, we had a counsular come out and talk to some of us, she had a group

of some girls(my friends and me) every thursday she would come and talk to us about all our problems,some had boyfriend problems. and I did talk to her about this,she also said it was not mu fault.

so I did talk to a counsular (promise)

 

[Reijel's Mom]

If you are still struggling with this (which it's completely understandable that you are), but to the point where you question if you are a "bad" person - then you still need the help of a professional. I wish you the best.

 

[Miniv]

Betsy,

You are still struggling with a lot of issues........even though you've spoken to a counselor, you need to do it again.

What happened was not your fault. And your dad is in a place where he can see the whole picture, so he knows and he loves you.

 

[Cara]

{{{HUGS}}}

omg im soo sorry, its not your fault in any way, he should have never pulled your hair! and u cant stop heart attacks, or predict them they jsut happen there are causes but you never really know, its not your fault and im sure your dad loved you back as much as you loved him, my dad is sorta the same way, he is a good hard working man, but has a nasty temper, and he is very strong so it doesnt help! but trust me its not your fault, im sure your dad is looking over you, and i dont think he wants you to be unhappy! so dont blame your self and jsut pray! you did nothing that i wouldnt have done or anyone else for that matter!!!