Michael is always on our minds. I go to sleep thinking of him and I wake up the same way. It hurts so much. That will never change. Time doesn’t heal a pain like that. It seems like its three hundred years, not three years since I’ve seen him. He’s just so far away.
We found a new normal for us. We just want to be ourselves; maybe we’re not as outrageous as before, but we have a few fun days when we can. I think we have gained strength out of necessity. I am finally able to differentiate between what is worth my concern and what is trivial nonsense really quick. Life is just too short; there’s no time to waste on petty things. I am far from finished with the local sheriff’s department and un-trained paramedics who showed up eventually and failed to give Michael help because they didn’t know what to do. It is going to change if it takes me forever.
As I watch our local news I am astounded to learn of how many children are lost every day in our area alone for one reason or another. We don’t have a lot of resources around here so I created the Archangel Foundation (anonymous & free) that assists parents in our area who lost their children to help them through their first months. Its not on the internet or advertised anywhere.
I know now that all the Sylvia Browne’s in the world are not going to make Michael appear to me or send me a message and I am done looking and waiting for signs. If there is a way for Michael to show up and talk to me he will, but I am not waiting around for that to happen anymore. I talk to him plenty by myself and maybe he can hear me and maybe he can’t. I won’t know in this lifetime.
I planted this Angel garden of flowers for Michael. I’ve been collecting angels for it because I didn’t want to put his personal angel collection outside. There are ten angels in it. The garden is in front of his Christmas tree. It doesn’t look like much of anything right now; I’m a horrible gardener, but I hope the flowers will grow. Purple and gold for his school colors, and red because I liked it.
Here is a quote I like:
When you are down to nothing ...
God is up to something.
This is a YOUTUBE I made this week.
One of Michael’s favorite groups was Nickleback. If he heard this song I am sure he would have loved it. Its so fitting. This is a link to the music also if you want to listen to it:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qQyZBU28q88
If Today Was Your Last Day
My best friend gave me the best advice
He said each day's a gift and not a given right
Leave no stone unturned, leave your fears behind
And try to take the path less traveled by
That first step you take is the longest stride
If today was your last day
and tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past
Donate every dime you have?
If today was your last day
Against the grain should be a way of life
What's worth the prize is always worth the fight
Every second counts 'cause there's no second try
So live like you'll never live it twice
Don't take the free ride in your own life
If today was your last day
and tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past
Donate every dime you have?
Would you call old friends you never see?
Reminisce of memories
Would you forgive your enemies?
Would you find that one you're dreamin' of?
Swear up and down to God above
That you finally fall in love
If today was your last day
If today was your last day
Would you make your mark by mending a broken heart?
You know it's never too late to shoot for the stars
Regardless of who you are
So do whatever it takes
'Cause you can't rewind a moment in this life
Let nothin' stand in your way
Cause the hands of time are never on your side
If today was your last day
and tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past
Donate every dime you have?
Would you call old friends you never see?
Reminisce of memories
Would you forgive your enemies?
Would you find that one you're dreamin' of?
Swear up and down to God above
That you finally fall in love
If today was your last day
About friends: Here is something I would like to share:
A simple friend, when visiting, acts like a guest.
A real friend opens your refrigerator and helps himself and doesn't feel even the least bit weird shutting your Pepsi drawer with her foot.
A simple friend has never seen you cry.
A real friend shoulder is soggy from your tears.
A simple friend doesn't know your parents' first names.
A real friend has their phone numbers in his address book.
A simple friend brings a bottle of soda to your party.
A real friend comes early to help you cook and stays late to help you clean.
A simple friend hates it when you call after they've gone to bed.
A real friend asks you why you took so long to call.
A simple friend seeks to talk with you about your problems.
A real friend seeks to help you with your problems.
A simple friend wonders about your romantic history.
A real friend could blackmail you with it.
A simple friend thinks the friendship is over when you have an argument.
A real friend calls you after you had a fight.
A simple friend expects you to always be there for them.
A real friend expects to always be there for you!
We found a new normal for us. We just want to be ourselves; maybe we’re not as outrageous as before, but we have a few fun days when we can. I think we have gained strength out of necessity. I am finally able to differentiate between what is worth my concern and what is trivial nonsense really quick. Life is just too short; there’s no time to waste on petty things. I am far from finished with the local sheriff’s department and un-trained paramedics who showed up eventually and failed to give Michael help because they didn’t know what to do. It is going to change if it takes me forever.
As I watch our local news I am astounded to learn of how many children are lost every day in our area alone for one reason or another. We don’t have a lot of resources around here so I created the Archangel Foundation (anonymous & free) that assists parents in our area who lost their children to help them through their first months. Its not on the internet or advertised anywhere.
I know now that all the Sylvia Browne’s in the world are not going to make Michael appear to me or send me a message and I am done looking and waiting for signs. If there is a way for Michael to show up and talk to me he will, but I am not waiting around for that to happen anymore. I talk to him plenty by myself and maybe he can hear me and maybe he can’t. I won’t know in this lifetime.
I planted this Angel garden of flowers for Michael. I’ve been collecting angels for it because I didn’t want to put his personal angel collection outside. There are ten angels in it. The garden is in front of his Christmas tree. It doesn’t look like much of anything right now; I’m a horrible gardener, but I hope the flowers will grow. Purple and gold for his school colors, and red because I liked it.
Here is a quote I like:
When you are down to nothing ...
God is up to something.
This is a YOUTUBE I made this week.
One of Michael’s favorite groups was Nickleback. If he heard this song I am sure he would have loved it. Its so fitting. This is a link to the music also if you want to listen to it:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qQyZBU28q88
If Today Was Your Last Day
My best friend gave me the best advice
He said each day's a gift and not a given right
Leave no stone unturned, leave your fears behind
And try to take the path less traveled by
That first step you take is the longest stride
If today was your last day
and tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past
Donate every dime you have?
If today was your last day
Against the grain should be a way of life
What's worth the prize is always worth the fight
Every second counts 'cause there's no second try
So live like you'll never live it twice
Don't take the free ride in your own life
If today was your last day
and tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past
Donate every dime you have?
Would you call old friends you never see?
Reminisce of memories
Would you forgive your enemies?
Would you find that one you're dreamin' of?
Swear up and down to God above
That you finally fall in love
If today was your last day
If today was your last day
Would you make your mark by mending a broken heart?
You know it's never too late to shoot for the stars
Regardless of who you are
So do whatever it takes
'Cause you can't rewind a moment in this life
Let nothin' stand in your way
Cause the hands of time are never on your side
If today was your last day
and tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past
Donate every dime you have?
Would you call old friends you never see?
Reminisce of memories
Would you forgive your enemies?
Would you find that one you're dreamin' of?
Swear up and down to God above
That you finally fall in love
If today was your last day
About friends: Here is something I would like to share:
A simple friend, when visiting, acts like a guest.
A real friend opens your refrigerator and helps himself and doesn't feel even the least bit weird shutting your Pepsi drawer with her foot.
A simple friend has never seen you cry.
A real friend shoulder is soggy from your tears.
A simple friend doesn't know your parents' first names.
A real friend has their phone numbers in his address book.
A simple friend brings a bottle of soda to your party.
A real friend comes early to help you cook and stays late to help you clean.
A simple friend hates it when you call after they've gone to bed.
A real friend asks you why you took so long to call.
A simple friend seeks to talk with you about your problems.
A real friend seeks to help you with your problems.
A simple friend wonders about your romantic history.
A real friend could blackmail you with it.
A simple friend thinks the friendship is over when you have an argument.
A real friend calls you after you had a fight.
A simple friend expects you to always be there for them.
A real friend expects to always be there for you!
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