I really feel for the both of you, especially your son. There really has been some great advice here. Though now I'm 45 years old , I do know EXACTLY how you son is feeling.
When I was 9 ( my sister was 10, brother 8 and little sister 2 ) my father was killed in a car accident. My first thought was how did that happen, my dad was a GOOD guy. Then of course I was scared. Wondering how my mother was going to make it with four children to raise, a house wife. Fast Forward Two Years.................... My mother past away with cancer. Now I am mad. how in the world would a good god take not one but both parents from 4 young children?????
Then, it was hard for me to understand, heck it still is sometimes. But I choose to believe we are not really suppose to understand. One day we will. Still its so hard for children. I to thought I must have done somthing . I remember thinking I should have made better grades after my dad died. Just trying to make some kind of sense of things............
You Cant.
Finally, I told myself, ................ Okay, things are going to be hard, sad. Seeing my friends at school doing things with there parents and stuff. Parents going to watch there kids at ballgames, moms taking pictures of their kids going to proms, ect. ect. I told myself I have to make somthing of myself, so when I have children I will be able to do these things with them. I have to be strong and make my parents proud.
All of my siblings are very successful people , and I to own my own bussiness. But above all, we are happy. I still get sad to think of my parents not being there for graduation, when I go married, and had my child (Erica). I think they would have loved being grandparents, and thank GOD Erica has wonderful grandparents on my husbands side ( and they are like parents to me also)
No I dont understand why things happen to good people. But I think we will find the ansewer some day.
My only advice to your son would be........... well, that you dont understand "why" either, but we have to make the best of whats delt to us. And there is ALWAYS someone out there with more difficult times, especially now.
I just heard on the news a man shot his family of 5 then himself over financial problems
Tell him to be strong. Be strong for each other. Tell him to hang in there and always try his best, and one day he will look back and hopefully say.......... I didnt like what happened to me, I didnt think it was fair........... But it made me strong . He is now the man of the house. He is only 15 I know, but life isnt always fair, its hard.
One thing to tell him for sure is, Your always there for EACH OTHER, no matter what.
I will be thinking of you and your son.
Linda Killion