My Mother

[LaraP]

I know its been along time since I have posted about anything let alone my Mom. We kept her at home, loving her. altho at times I was wondering if I would make it. But I am so glad that I did.

My wonderful beautiful mother passed away tonight fairly quietly at her home all of us kids and grandkids with her. I am just broken hearted yet I knew she had been holding on for weeks now, but I guess when it finally is over it stills takes you by surprise.

We had hospice coming in, (thanks to some of your advice) three times per week. My mother had not been able to eat or drink anything for the last 12 days. She was in a coma, don't know if it was drug induced or just her body shutting down. I just can't believe that someone could live that long with out fluids. I was giving her morphine every 4 hrs mixed with Adavan that they told me would absorb into her bloodsteam just by placing in her mouth.

Its weird that I wanted her to go with Jesus but at the same time was wanting her to wake up and get better for my own selfishness.

Right now, I am numb, I am truly exhausted but yet can't sleep.

But the real reason why I am posting this is, I want to thank you all for the encouragement that you all gave me when I first posted on how hard it is to take care of a parent FULL TIME. And so many of you told me to stick it out. love her and take care of her and that is exactly what I did, and for that I am so thankful. I have no quilt no remorse she would have done it for me.

Please say alittle pray for my Mom today, Mrs Rosella Hubbell, there is none like her.

I love you MOM.

Lara

 

[bonloubri]

May all your wonderful memories carry you through this time of sorrow. Your mother was certainly blessed to have someone like you to look after her in her final days.

 

[AppyLover2]

I'm sorry Lara but you can be proud that your mother had no doubt about your love for her. Your continued care right to the very end proved it. I'm sure she's smiling down on you at this very moment and thanking you and telling you it's ok to grieve for a while, just not too long.

 

[TheCaseFamily00]

I'm so sorry,I can't even begin to understand what you're going through

. It sounds like you were both very lucky to have eachother{{hugs}}.

 

[ChrystalPaths]

Love and blessings to you and yours Lara.

 

[LindaL]

Lara....I am so very sorry for your loss. My heartfelt condolences go out to you and your family at this time.

 

[bcody]

Prayers for your mother, you and your family.

It is never easy to lose a parent, no matter if we know it is coming, no matter if they were 100 years old, they are stll yours, and still gone. You did a great job taking care of her, and I am sure she felt the love and it made her passing peaceful. Take time to grieve, then you will have your wonderful memories.

God Bless you Lara, you are an amazingly strong woman.

 

[luv2ridesaddleseat]

I am so sorry. I know how you are feeling.

What a wonderful daughter you are and may she rest in peace. Hugs to you....

 

[~Lisa~]

Lara I am so sorry for your loss.

I to am glad you stuck it out I know you and know this is how you would want it to all play out if you had a choice. You are a good daughter

 

[Crabby-Chicken]

I am so sorry she is gone. I know there is a little bit of guilt when they pass and you are happy they are not suffering or lingering. That is a natural feeling.

You did a wonderful thing Lara and I am proud of you. My Mom refused to come live with us when she got lung cancer which sped up her dementia. We had a wonderful adult home for her. But sometimes I still feel like I let her down.

She is happy and whole and you took care of her like she did for you. That is a very loving act.

 

[Crabby-Chicken]

Sorry came up twice.

 

[HGFarm]

Lara, so sorry to hear your mother is gone, but glad to hear that you did stick it out and she had loving family with her. What a wonderful daughter you are, and I am sure she was quite happy to be in your care. That seems hard to find now days- family that really cares.

You will miss her forever, and the end will fade and will not overshadow the great moments of life that you shared with her.

Bless you and your family for hanging in there for her- and I do know what you have been through! Hugs to you, prayer has been said for your dear mother and your family. My deepest condolences!!!

 

[NoddalottaFarm]

I wish I had some magic words to say to make it better, but I have none. Just know that my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family during this hard time. God Bless.

 

[LaraP]

Thank you all for your support. Oh Yes I miss her so much already. I know this will pass and it won't sting so much. With both my parents gone now I feel alone. Altho, I do have David I still feel like my security (if you will) is gone. I found it so odd when I went to the funeral home today to make the arrangements and talking about the obits, the director ask what my mother did for a living. I told him just loving her kids, making sure we had clean clothes, a warm place to sleep and I must say the best food in town. Always home when we got home from school. She raised six kids, has 16 grandchildren, 37 great grandkids and 2 great great grandkids. And she was a part of ALL of there lives. AMAZING..

When my father I passed I missed it.. I was so upset that he died before I could get to him. After going thru this with my mother, I don't regret now missing not being there with my Dad. Its not at all what I expected and at one point I had to get up and go out of the room. Just couldn't take it. I don't feel you, in my case anyway, that a person needs to be RIGHT THERE when there parent passes on. It was one of the worse experiences I have ever been thru, and unfortunately right now that memory keeps running over and over in my mind. I thought that she would just go to sleep and slip away quietly, and I guess in retrospect it could have been much worse but it surprises me on the human body just doesn't want to give up and fights. I could have done without that for sure. I am so glad now that Joshua passed right away.

Again, thank you all for your support, and your advice close to a year ago, or so it seems. I will forever been in your debt.

Sincerely

Lara

 

[Sonya]

Hugs Lara...sending prayers and good thoughts for peace within for you and your family.

 

[Reijel's Mom]

Bless you for being there for her.

 

[Mona]

Lara, I am so very sorry for your loss.

 

[REO]

Lara, I'm so sorry you lost your mom.

I know she is very happy and proud of you for what you did for her. And you will be glad for the rest of your life for what you did. I hope in time the bad memory will fade and you'll just remember that you were there for her.

{{{{{Hugs}}}}}

 

[Valerie]

Lara,

So very sorry to hear of your Mom's passing, but so happy you got to spend as much time as you could to help her up to the end. I know that when my Mom passed, it was so sudden and unexpected, I would have given anything to be able to say things to her. I did still say them, but since she was brain dead at that time, you just hope they hear and understand.

I know how hard it is and was for you, and I do know we don't weep for those that leave us because they are going on to bigger and better places, we weep for those that are left behind and it sounds like your Mother was a giving, loving person and has left behind a large legacy.

Hugs to you, dear lady, and I hope that each passing day the pain lessens a little.

Valerie

 

[Maxi'sMinis]

Your are a very good daughter and person. I am so sorry for your loss. You were there for your Mom and did all you could to make her comfortable and I am sure that she new you were there for her and that you love her very much. Sending prayers and comforting thoughts for you and your family. God bless.