Opinions on "returning" a dog...

[LindaL]

A little less than 2 yrs ago we adopted an older "blind" (cataracts) MinPin named Chanel. She fits into our family for the most part and altho she has issues related to age, she is doing well.

A few days ago, her original owner (who had her for the 1st 10 yrs of her life) emailed us asking how she was doing. She had found our original emails in her older email folder. We sent her a new picture and let her know how she was. The woman in a roundabout way asked if she could have her back. The reason she has given her up was because she was in the middle of a divorce with a young baby and was traveling quite a bit. She seems to have her life settled now.

Part of me says No, I don't want to give her up. She is happy here and even tho she isn't a cuddly dog, I do like her. She is part of our family. The other part of me wants the woman to have her "baby" back to live out her days with the person who raised her. I know that if I had to give up a dog that I had raised, if circumstances changed, I'd want my dog back.

What are your opinions on this? What would you do in my case?

 

[laughingllama75]

I was in that position.....and I said, Oh H*ll no! My poor dog was so stressed when we got him, it took him about 4 months to adjust. The woman moved out of the country and then moved back 6 years later. Pip was now 14, and failing health. I did not want him to be stressed again in that way. He was adjusted and we were his family. May seem harsh, but I truly think he was better off for it. Do what YOU need to do, what you feel is right for your family and YOUR dog.

 

[CZP1]

If that is all she has is this old min pin to help her get through some tough times, I would maybe have her come and do a home visit and see how Chanel acts with her. If she shows no interest and really doesn't remember her, then I would say thanks, but I think that she would be better here. Be honest you have had her two years now and she sounds well adjusted to you gals. I would say just keep her.

 

[REO]

If it were me, I would invite the woman to come visit and see what the dog wanted. Although I cared about the dog, if being with her mom of 10 years is what she wanted most & who she wanted to spend her last days with, I would let her go.

 

[Lil Eowyn]

I agree with REO. But shes your dog now, so if you don't want to let her go, DON"T. And Don't feel like you have to either--Good luck.

 

[LindaL]

I am still going back and forth with this. We will be down in her area on Saturday and have the dogs with us, so may let her know so I can see how Chanel reacts to her. Since she is basically blind, it will be her voice/smell that will trigger any recognition. If she does know who she is, I will probably let her go. Chances are she doesnt have more than a year or two left to live (of course I am guessing), but maybe her old owner has come back into the picture for a reason now.

 

[Carolyn R]

Ugg, tough choice. I know I was highly agitated when we got my brother's kids a lab pup, 6 months later his wife left, they got divorced, flew to Arizona to offer support, By this time, dog was 10 months old, paid to have him flown back to Pa. Dog needed to be trained basic manors and have consistant schedule. 5-6 years later he asked to have him back. I said it was not fair to uproot him from his country life to put him in a house in a development. He is going to be 14 in March, and will remain here till his demise.

I think I would have to make certain the dog recognizes her and has a positive reaction towards her, I would also have to ask if she has any other dogs at this time, not fair to stress a dog with compromised senses by making it get acquainted with other dogs, how will the dog react with a 2-3 year old child, ......is this truely because she misses the dog, or is it out of convenience because her child is longing for a furry friend? Was this ever brought up when the dog was surrendered, the possibility of a home being temporary until things stabilized in her life?

I think I would have to think very long and hard about it. I don't think I could give up one of our dogs, they are truely part of the family.

 

[Jill]

NO!!!

It's not fair to your dog (at this stage in her life, it's not fair to ask her to re-adjust if it can be avoided), and it's also not fair to you or Deb. I wouldn't consider it

 

[Reignmaker Miniatures]

I guess I'm the odd one out here. I think you are right to consider it. After all you have had her for less than 2 years and the old owner had her for ten. I think allowing the dog to decide is not a bad idea at all.

But... we adopted a 4 yr old rotti some years back. The owners had a given her away before and always gotten her back so when my husband called and said they wanted to give her to us (I was out of town) I told him to let them know that if we agreed to take he she would be here to stay. @ years later they came asking for their dog back, .. missed her, best dog ever..yadda yadda. My answer was a firm. "No! Sorry, she is not leaving here." She turned out to be a great dog and spent the last years of her life with us, we were heartbroken when she passed.

 

[bevann]

My vote is No since there is a young child in the home.This dog has been with you for several years with no child involved.The previous owner is probably not in the same home where the dog was familiar with everything in its surroundings.Since it is a senior dog I think adjustment would be more difficult.Do what is best for the dog.I would keep it and let it live out its days with you.

 

[Lil Eowyn]

I hope everything works out and the decision you make will be the right one. Good luck!

 

[LindaL]

Akkk...OK, you all are no help!! LOL

I have not written her back yet concerning this...and my heart is telling me that I should keep her with us. We have all adjusted to her being here (including our other dogs) and while they don't really interact with her (she sleeps a lot and since she can't really see, she doesnt "play"), I think they would wonder what happened to her if she just left.

Chanel is good with kids, but I'm thinking that since she is an older dog, the child would want a dog that plays and is more "cuddly".

I think I will tell the woman that we have decided to keep her with us. I think, while she will be sad not to have her back, that since she knows she is in a good home and she made the right decision in giving her to us, that will make make things easier on her.

At least I hope so...

 

[mickeymoto]

This is a difficult decision and I am weighing in "after the fact", so to speak. Since it sounds like you have made your decision. I have been involved in rescue for over 20 years, and have come across just this scenario time and time again. I say let the dog make the decision. We all have to do things in our lives sometimes that was something we did not want to to, but did so for the good of all involved, at the time. Sounds like this is what Chanel's first caretaker did. I do not consider myself the owner of the animals I help, but their caretaker, and as such, sometimes that caretaker might change for the good of the animal. I found a new home for a blue front amazon that I had with me for 7 years. He matured and was no longer happy in my home, he really wanted to be the only animal. It was heart wrenching for me to give him up, but he is happy now. Although your case is different, I would let the dog decide. I think it was probably very very hard for this woman to give up her dog, and now that her life has changed for the better, wants her back in her life. Is this selfish on her part? Possibly. Will the dog remember her and want to be back with her? You will never know, unless you take a chance.

Take care and whatever you decide, it is obvious you love this little dog. Let your heart guide you.

 

[Marty]

No. Absolutely not. And going one step further, I would not even consider a visitation. I am sorry I am coming across like a mean person but I don't mean to.

My reasons are to protect the dog's feelings. Why on earth would you want to confuse him like that? And then what if it doesn't work out with her for whatever reason, then what? This is also why I can't sell horses. I have very strong feelings about their feelings of being uprooted left and right till they sell again never knowing where the heck is "home". Sorry, I'm ranting.

I also have this problem with my GSD Amy. She cannot figure out why Daniel went away. (Got his own house last year). And then when he comes, he plays with her, then he leaves her again to go home and I have to pick up the pieces when she cries at the window and scratches at the door to go after him. This is beyond sad. Just please, don't do it. KEEP YOUR DOG. PLEASE.

 

[KanoasDestiny]

I agree with Marty. What would happen if you gave her back, then for whatever reason this woman couldn't keep her again? Would she then ask you to take her back a second time, or would she give her to someone else? Who knows, maybe Chanel would do wonderful there, but why take the chance when she's already in a loving home she knows and feels safe in? I say give the woman updates, share stories, send pictures, but don't let her see her in person or have her back.

 

[shorthorsemom]

I would not even consider it. I would not allow visitation either. This is an old blind dog. she gave up the dog. You love the dog. Please do not even consider sending the dog back. Imagine the stress if the dog if she tries it and it doesn't work out. Or if the stress kills your little dog, it will haunt you forever. You welcomed this little dog into your heart and this is where the dog should stay. I have done rescue most of my life. Boomerang dogs get stressed. For goodness sake, she is trying to relive something but it shouldn't be at the expense of the dog. Too much emotions here. Sorry if I come off harsh, it isn't directed at you but at her for even considering uprooting a poor blind little dog from a loving home for her own selfish want. Sorry for my rant... If anybody dared to call me and take back a dog I have adopted and loved and cared for because they are trying to re live some portion of their past ... I would tell them to hit the road and I would NEVER allow them to come see the dog and cause stress. Old doggies need special care. I vote NO.

 

[shorthorsemom]

PS, I lived with an old senile very strange tiny min pin. She lived to be 18 years old and she was blind as a bat from age 6 on. There is much you can do to help them with age related health and behavior and much you can do to enhance quality of life. Strange as she was I loved her to pieces. bless you... say no.

 

[Field-of-Dreams]

My motto: if you aren't sure, DON'T.

I wouldn't give her back. She's old and settled. Leave her where she is.

 

[Reble]

I am not trying to make you feel bad. Or try to affend you.
But if you have to ask, I think you have doubts about her being with you, and thinking she might be best with

her original owner.
In that case give the dog a chance to make her decision.

Years ago my daughter was not interested in her horse anymore and we got into minis, she was standing in pasture and she also got married and had a child down the road.
We bought her Maleda when my daughter was 11, had her for 8 years.
Long story short, Lady called to see if she would be interested in having her back.. they had her for about 2 years.

and her daughters interest was no longer there.
My daughter jumped on it..she had her own place than.
so we went to see her and she was like she had never left..
Maleda had never forgotten her, and came running right over to her.. and we knew the best thing for her and my daughter

was to bring her back home again.
My daughter always regretted her decission but thought it was best for them both being she was going to be used and

with a young girl learning to ride etc.
She is still with my daughter and my grand daughter and she will be with them, untill her end.. She is now 24 years old.

I believe if an animal is loved, they never forget..

Tough choice, but sometimes animals like people come into our lifes for a reason.
They are a true gift, and we never can understand our Journey.