Warning to others

[rabbitsfizz]

This was said in a private e-mail and, quite rightly , you think well of this person.

Could we please have a moment here to think about the fact that, if we are e-mailed privately we do not expect to have the contents put on the Forum??

I know the identity of the person was kept private but, had it been me, and Sara did PM me, I would be SQUIRMING right now.

I agree it was a lttle sharp of the person but she may well just have had it to the back teeth with something, anything, and this may have been the last straw.

I tend to put everything on the Forum and do not usually go in for PM's as I do believe anything I say should bear repeating.

For this reason I have been censored heavily for being too abrupt and even for being rude.

Well, people, I am afraid there is a difference between being truthful and being rude and often it is only that the person who posted does NOT want to hear what you are saying!!!!!

This is a complicated case, Sara should not have done this, she should have done that BUT at the end of the day she HAS done it, it is done and dusted so, as I see it, we have to help her with the situation that she has, and is dealing with as best she can.

Personally as I have said, I would put the animals on a good worming programme.

I would also have them tested again for strangles as in the early stages it can go undetected (It is no longer contagious in the later stages, )

If all these come up negative and the snotty noses continue I would treat the symptoms as and when they arise with as few drugs as is possible- Vets LOVE to medicate when there is no obvious cause as if they are not so good Vets this makes their bills justifiable and if they are good Vets they like to cover all bases!!!

With the fact that Sara's Vet seems to have a three week waiting list for farm calls I can understand her getting anxious!!!

 

[Dandy]

I have to agree here with Rabbitsfizz, I don't think e-mails should be repeated on the forum (IMO). I think the e-mail was a little harsh, but it was a personal e-mail and I know I would not want an e-mail I sent to someone appearing on a public forum. (IMO)

 

[Cathy_H]

I say learn from others mistakes - no need to make your own----- She could still be in deep sorrow and anger from losing her horse so I guess we have to take that into account.... Anyway don't worry about one persons harsh words :no: - life is too short to worry about something like that.

 

[HGFarm]

WOW!!!! :new_shocked: That was MEAN!! Please figure it out for yourself???!!

I think whoever sent you that email is rather extreme and 'out there'... ??? Dont think everyone is that way, and feel free to email me at home anytime with questions!!

 

[Greystone]

I think in this instant media swept world we live in today we all too often forget once one presses ENTER it is gone. Being pre-computer (yes, I have used a typewriter) I tend to think, type and re-read before I press ENTER. It is hard to take back what is typed.

By the way, I consider myself still a "newbie" five years into the miniature horse experience. I have an old man that has raised horses for over 50 years come by a least once a week to look at my 3 girls who are pregnant. Anyone who feels they are an expert at anything is swimming down the river of denial.

 

[KanoasDestiny]

Rabbitsfizz, I quite agree with you. I have to admit that when I recieved this email, I was hurt, shocked and sad. My sole purpose was to use it as an experience to show others that HOW they say something can really affect someone else. I believe 100% in honesty, and I have no problem with someone sharing their truthful opinions (even if it is something I don't want to hear), but I think that when you are being negative towards someone, you can do it tactfully. I do see now, that using a personal email might not have been the best thing to do, but I did mean good out of it and in no way did I want to disclose any personal information on this person, as I feel to publically humiliate someone is wrong. She is a good person and I feel that maybe she was having a bad day or something else unforeseen was going on.

Thank you everyone for your responses.

 

[Triggy&Blue&Daisy Too]

Well I have to disagree and think any one who is a jerk in private should be out-ted. If it were me, and she’s darned lucky it wasn’t, after a good arse chewing right back at ya she’d be today’s front page news. If you can’t stand up for what you say in public you shouldn’t be allowed to get away with it in private.

There was NOTHING productive in that response at all. There are already too many idiots on this forum to mention who operate that way and it should be stopped!!!

I for one am sick and tired of newbies getting chewed on, especially the kids, for asking what they should be able to ask even if it’s the hundredreth and one time. If your tired of repeating the advice it then just keep your lip zipped and let someone else answer!

 

[Colagirl]

I have to agree here with Rabbitsfizz, I don't think e-mails should be repeated on the forum (IMO). I think the e-mail was a little harsh, but it was a personal e-mail and I know I would not want an e-mail I sent to someone appearing on a public forum. (IMO)

Maybe that is the problem??? Too many nasty people getting away with too many nasty emails and pm`s because they are "personal", Of course they wouldnt like them to be put on the public forum..thats why the sent them privately and underhandedly, they dont want everyone knowing how nasty they really are.

 

[shane]

Well I have to disagree and think any one who is a jerk in private should be out-ted. If it were me, and she’s darned lucky it wasn’t, after a good arse chewing right back at ya she’d be today’s front page news. If you can’t stand up for what you say in public you shouldn’t be allowed to get away with it in private.

There was NOTHING productive in that response at all. There are already too many idiots on this forum to mention who operate that way and it should be stopped!!!

I for one am sick and tired of newbies getting chewed on, especially the kids, for asking what they should be able to ask even if it’s the hundredreth and one time. If your tired of repeating the advice it then just keep your lip zipped and let someone else answer!

OH SHIRLEY YOU TOOK THE WORDS RIGHT OUT OF MY MOUTH!!!!!!!!!!!! IVE BEEN SLAMMED BY AN IGNORANT [shall we say person lol} on the forum by pm, and they said that they didnt want to offend me in public, before they critisised evry inch of my horse, i so wish they had then everyone on here could have seen them for who they are.... its the WAY you say something not what you say,.... thank you shirley for your brilliant post!!!!! :aktion033: :aktion033:

 

[Dandy]

I have to agree here with Rabbitsfizz, I don't think e-mails should be repeated on the forum (IMO). I think the e-mail was a little harsh, but it was a personal e-mail and I know I would not want an e-mail I sent to someone appearing on a public forum. (IMO)

Maybe that is the problem??? Too many nasty people getting away with too many nasty emails and pm`s because they are "personal", Of course they wouldnt like them to be put on the public forum..thats why the sent them privately and underhandedly, they dont want everyone knowing how nasty they really are.

Well, I still stand behind what I feel. I believe this forum is for learning and sharing in a positive way. Everyone handles things differently. This individual responded to an e-mail they received. Maybe not in the manner that most people would respond, BUT, they were responding to a personal e-mail. As I said before this is just my opinion.

 

[nicole]

That is just terrible, no one should be treated like that. Everyone was a newbie at one time. I have been there too, I used to work for an arab farm for years and this lady was very picky. She would always question everything I did. But not once did she say why I shouldn't do things a curtain way. AHH! that just drove me in sane. Of course I was young and took it.

So I never asked questions and just read books to find info, but I can say once I got into the minis I found mini people to be soo helpful. I haven't yet ran into someone that was not helpful.

I am really sorry to hear you had a bad experience.

Ask me anytime I am more then willing to help but I will not take the place of a vet. They come first.

Nicole

 

[rabbitsfizz]

The problem is, of course, we are ASKED for our opinions, and, then, when we give our opinions, instead of just saying, "Oh, your horse is wonderful, marvellous, the best we have ever seen" we get slammed

Sometimes you cannot win.

I do see your side of this, Shirley, but we will have to agree to differ on this, I am afraid.

I still do not think private e-mails should be made public, although it was not the case here, they could be taken out of context, quoted in part instead of in full, and generally turned around to the point where they are unrecognisable.

Basically, although I have the greatest sympathy with people who receive "nasty" PMs etc, (I have received a few myself) if you want me to continue to answer the many PM's I receive asking for help on this matter or the other, I have to know that my straightforward answers are not going to be quoted the next minute in a bid for sympathy.

I am NOT suggesting this is what Sara is doing, and I do think the PM was a little harsh, BUT it was a PRIVATE message.

 

[Buckskin gal]

Very well put Shirley :aktion033: :aktion033: It is so very true that if one can't take responsibility for what they say, they shouldn't say it. I also think that too many are getting away with being rude and the excuses that are made for them is utterly ridiculous....if the rudness comes from having a bad day then for heavens sake and the sake of others wait for another day to say something. Maybe then it won't have to be rude. There is no good excuse for rudeness and it should not be promoted. I too hate to see newbies being chewed on and answered in less than a courteous manner. I am very grateful for those who respond to questions so everyone can learn. Mary

Well I have to disagree and think any one who is a jerk in private should be out-ted. If it were me, and she’s darned lucky it wasn’t, after a good arse chewing right back at ya she’d be today’s front page news. If you can’t stand up for what you say in public you shouldn’t be allowed to get away with it in private.

There was NOTHING productive in that response at all. There are already too many idiots on this forum to mention who operate that way and it should be stopped!!!

I for one am sick and tired of newbies getting chewed on, especially the kids, for asking what they should be able to ask even if it’s the hundredreth and one time. If your tired of repeating the advice it then just keep your lip zipped and let someone else answer!

 

[Triggy&Blue&Daisy Too]

I do see your side of this, Shirley, but we will have to agree to differ on this, I am afraid.

I still do not think private e-mails should be made public, although it was not the case here, they could be taken out of context, quoted in part instead of in full, and generally turned around to the point where they are unrecognisable.

Very true Jane and of course that one can always get things turned around as what seems to be the case on another current thread. I HATE it when business problems get aired publically on the forum and it irks me to no end to see the forum abused for that purpose.

Personal attacks via PM or email however are a totally different matter to me. If one is ashamed to say something publically then it's probably better left unsaid.

We will have to agree to disagree on this one

: but calling someone crazy or stupid for asking for guidance leaves nothing to my imagination, if that was indeed is the actual quote. I just don't think something like that is the least bit necessary when responding to someone's query for help or information regardless that it was a private communication or not. Someone setting me straight in an honest and caring way is fine and I can take the truth, may not like it, but can sure take it.

: But I think I too would be very hurt to get that kind of "help."

 

[KanoasDestiny]

Hi everybody, I do just want to jump in and say that the woman who wrote the email sent me another email today apologizing for the one she sent yesterday. It seems that there is alot going on and she was just rubbed the wrong way. I do not believe in holding grudges against anyone, and I know that we all say things we regret from time to time. It is all water under the bridge.

However, the email that I posted on here yesterday was the exact message I got, it was not altered in any way except that the name was withheld at the very end. I do know that people change things around or misunderstand things, or just fail to tell the whole story. In this case, that didn't happen as I copied the email and pasted it here (erasing the name, and I probably should have withheld the horse's name also, now that I think about it).

 

[Buckskin gal]

Glad to hear this has been taken care of by you in a positive and mature manner. Forgiveness is certainly an attribute. So sorry you were hurt to start with but can forgive the person. Mary

Hi everybody, I do just want to jump in and say that the woman who wrote the email sent me another email today apologizing for the one she sent yesterday. It seems that there is alot going on and she was just rubbed the wrong way. I do not believe in holding grudges against anyone, and I know that we all say things we regret from time to time. It is all water under the bridge.

However, the email that I posted on here yesterday was the exact message I got, it was not altered in any way except that the name was withheld at the very end. I do know that people change things around or misunderstand things, or just fail to tell the whole story. In this case, that didn't happen as I copied the email and pasted it here (erasing the name, and I probably should have withheld the horse's name also, now that I think about it).

 

[rabbitsfizz]

I'm so glad to hear that.

I agree it does not excuse the original rudeness, but it does explain it!!

I do know you did not change the e-mail, Sara, I would not accuse you of doing so, it is just that I know it has been done, and the meaning therefore altered.

I now keep a record of the PM's I send, and move them over into a file when the box gets full, not all of them but anyone new, or who I know is trouble, I will keep them. It has been useful.

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