# I really messed up this time...



## Feather1414 (Oct 14, 2005)

Ok, I don't know if any of you have ever heard of the popular website, Xanga, but its basically like an online diary. When I get upset about something, I write. I would write it down in my xanga because it is private and because if I didn't write it out, I would explode! Unfortunatly, a lot of what I wrote wa about my mom. She isn't always 100 percent supportive of my life ((what parent truly is)) and when I needed to vent, I would write it down in there...

In case you were guessing, yes, my mom found it and read it. It really hurt her. I am extrememly sorry for hurting her, but not sorry for what I wrote. You would have to know the whole story behind my mom, but she doesn't trust me for reasons unknown. I am a GOOD kid, I am just not the "kind of person" she wants me to be, and it can be stressful, so I would write it all out. All I was feeling, thinking, stuff like that. She was NEVER suppoed to read it.

Anyways, what should I do? I don't think she really wants to listen to me at this point. I am currently at school, and I don't want to go home. She told me that I wasn't allowed to ask her for anything for quite a while. I had already planned to go to my friends birthday party. I think I am going to call her, tell her where I am going and when I will be home, and then get rides with my friends? It is a sleepover party, but should I sleep over? Yes, she does, and has known about this party.

Also what should I do in general. You as parents: I am sure you know that your kids arent going to get along with you 100 percent. I am the kind of person that doens't like to talk about feelings, so I write them down. My Xanga was my diary. I made sure to make it so that it would be pretty much secret, and she must have done some SERIOUS searching to find it. Yes, perhaps I shouldnt have written what I did, but I did write it, and she did read it, and now I don't know what to do.

Please write whatever you need. I probbly do need a good flaming, but in my defense, I was just writing my feelings, and it was in secret. She read my dairy, and is mad/upset for what I was feeling.

Did any of this make sense?


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## Magic (Oct 14, 2005)

yes, what you are writing makes sense. As a mother, I can understand how your mom is upset by what she read about your feelings, but--- it was a serious breach, IMO, for her to read your diary. I've never done that to my children, even if their diary was out in plain sight, as I feel that they have a right to privacy.

Only if I felt their lives were in danger would I do such a thing.

I don't know what to tell you, except that perhaps you and your mother could benefit from some counseling; a third party, trained in dealing with this sort of thing, could very well help the two of you communicate and work this out.

I'm sorry that things are so difficult for you right now.


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## Buckskin gal (Oct 14, 2005)

I hope you are able to talk with your mom and have her realize that what you wrote was mostly to vent. Writing stuff out is a great release at your age and far better to do that then to hold it in and just be angry. I know from experience what that can do. I am now a grandmother but I do see that kids have a tremendous amount of pressure on them in this crazy world. I do think it was an invasion of privacy for your mom to read what was your own private thoughts and hope she will apologize and not hold it against you. Ask her what she done as a teenager to realease or deal with her frustrations so she can think back and see that there are times a teen will have a need to vent in a good way....which I think writing is. Hugs, Mary



Feather1414 said:


> Ok, I don't know if any of you have ever heard of the popular website, Xanga, but its basically like an online diary. When I get upset about something, I write. I would write it down in my xanga because it is private and because if I didn't write it out, I would explode! Unfortunatly, a lot of what I wrote wa about my mom. She isn't always 100 percent supportive of my life ((what parent truly is)) and when I needed to vent, I would write it down in there...
> In case you were guessing, yes, my mom found it and read it. It really hurt her. I am extrememly sorry for hurting her, but not sorry for what I wrote. You would have to know the whole story behind my mom, but she doesn't trust me for reasons unknown. I am a GOOD kid, I am just not the "kind of person" she wants me to be, and it can be stressful, so I would write it all out. All I was feeling, thinking, stuff like that. She was NEVER suppoed to read it.
> 
> Anyways, what should I do? I don't think she really wants to listen to me at this point. I am currently at school, and I don't want to go home. She told me that I wasn't allowed to ask her for anything for quite a while. I had already planned to go to my friends birthday party. I think I am going to call her, tell her where I am going and when I will be home, and then get rides with my friends? It is a sleepover party, but should I sleep over? Yes, she does, and has known about this party.
> ...


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## Triggy&Blue&Daisy Too (Oct 14, 2005)

Frankly this infuriates me and I think your mom got what she deserved by reading it. Diaries are none of anyone's business except the owner. All people, teens included, need to have a safe and private place to vent.

Can you tell this happened to me as a teen?




My mother broke the lock on my diary, a diary SHE bought me by the way, so I guess she thought she was entitled to read it. From then on the battle was on, a very stupid thing for any mother to do.


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## Miniv (Oct 14, 2005)

I totally agree with Magic.

Your mom did a major no-no to read your private writings (journal). And as Magic stated, only if there was a concern for your welfare, should your mom snoop into your personal things.

I also agree that it sounds like you and your mom have a major breakdown in communication. She obviously feels it or she wouldn't have "snooped"..... I suspect she feels like she doesn't really know you. And for that matter, do YOU really know what is in HER heart???

Going to that birthday party is another matter. I do not feel you should just go without talking to your mom about it first. Again it raises the subject of communication AND trust between the two of you.

Whatever you do, I hope you can show her that you are a mature young woman and she can trust you to make wise decisions.

Blessings,

Maryann


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## rabbitsfizz (Oct 14, 2005)

Sweetheart, your Mom should NOT have read your "diary" NO, NO ,No. Bad Mom





BUT she has done it.

OK, you have a "situation" on your hands.

Can you sit her down and talk to her, sensibly, Young Adult to Adult??

You need to explain that you were "dumping" your feelings, getting them all off your chest, and it was NEVER intended for anyone at all to see it, let alone HER.

This was your "hole in the ground" into which you said all the things you could never say, would never want to say, to her face.

I have been a "hole in the ground" for young persons, many times, whatever they tell me goes in and stays there, I never say a word, nor do I wish to. If they want an opinion they will ask for it. If they do not ask they do not get it.

Explain all that to your Mom, and tell her that you _do_ love her, it's just that, sometimes, you do not _like_ her very much!!!!

If you want to send your Diary to me, instead of Xanga, I would be honoured to be your "Hole in the ground"

Jane


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## Miss_Fortune (Oct 14, 2005)

Well it was wrong of her to read it, but I also understand how hurt she must feel. Maybe if she doesnt want to listen you can write her a letter & put it somewhere she will find it. That way you can write out everything you are feeling & thinking & hopefully she will take the time to read it. I think she needs to know why you wrote what ever it was that you did, and maybe if she knew that she would be a little more forgiving. Good Luck.


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## Lisa-Ruff N Tuff Minis (Oct 14, 2005)

Wow personally I think you have every right to be angry and should be the adult here looking to apologize to you

I have a 16 yr old daughter she is hormonal, trying to fit in and deal with high school and learning about dealing with boys and what true friends are on top of cheerleading and grades and thinking about college. I wouldnt be a teen again for a million bucks no way no how. The amount of pressure is overwhelming. The need to vent is perfectly normal.

There are times my daughter is a beast and to be honest times I dont like her but I always love her. I am sure no i KNOW there are times she doesnt like me but she loves me and we see past those times that perhaps the other isnt putting there best foot foward.

I know this must make you very uncomfortable and feel bad but IMO this is an issue your mom has to deal with not another you need to take on.


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## Jill (Oct 14, 2005)

Well, first of all, I do agree your mother SHOULD NOT have read your online diary.

However, with as many bad things that happen to / in the lives of good kids these days, I feel I understand WHY she read your diary.

Your mom knows that when people are upset with each other, they say things they do not mean and this is the same thing.

I'm 36 now. When I was a teenager, my Mom and I did not get along at all. We had regular screaming matches with each other and we would be so upset with each other. Even at the time, we both knew it was because we are very much alike.

After I grew up and moved out (which I did at a pretty young age), things started to change. Now, she and I see each other many times a week and I talk to her on the phone like my best friend (which she basically is) every day.

Things will change and will look up. I know this is a painful time for you both, but if you didn't love each other it wouldn't hurt so much.


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## Pepipony (Oct 14, 2005)

> Frankly this infuriates me and I think your mom got what she deserved by reading it. Diaries are none of anyone's business except the owner. All people, teens included, need to have a safe and private place to vent.
> Can you tell this happened to me as a teen?  My mother broke the lock on my diary, a diary SHE bought me by the way, so I guess she thought she was entitled to read it. From then on the battle was on, a very stupid thing for any mother to do.




Me too!! Your mom has every right to be hurt. HOWEVER. She read a VERY personal journal and while she may think she had the right, she got what she, well, not really deserved, thats too harsh, but she got what she went looking for? Thats still too harsh, you know what I mean LOL

Its like coming in to the end of a conversation and 'assuming' you heard everything. It just doesnt work.

I feel that if anyone has anything to apologize for, its your mom. Not necessarily for reading your journal, she may have felt the need, but for getting upset.


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## ChrystalPaths (Oct 14, 2005)

I totally agree with many here especially Jane. My daughter always kept a written diary. I bought them for her! I encouraged it! Did I ever read them? No way! She trusted me not to; even when left out. Your mom should not have read your private thoughts. That is like you listening in on her private conversations.

Writing in a diary is like digging a hole and dumping all the stress and bad stuff in it so you DON"T explode and hurt someone. Perhaps THAT is what you should tell mom. Trust is a 2 way street. I am SO glad my girl is all grown up. The sooner you both confront both of your feelings of shock and upset the better.


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## Danielle_E. (Oct 14, 2005)

Please don't let your mother make you feel guilty about your "feelings" that you wrote down in "YOUR" diary. I believe you said in your initital post that your mom doesn't trust you, well by what she has done I am sure you don't trust her either. What an unfortunate situation all around.

I don't think "not going home after school" is a good idea. Obviously the face to face communication is what led to writting your feelings in a "diary" so running away from this isn't going to make it any easier tomorrow or the day after unless you are BOTH willing to sit down and discuss it. I know that is going to be difficult for you but you can either continue this way and let her make you feel guilty, when you shouldn't, and let this fester too long until it is much more difficult to try and fix. Without pointing any fingers you should approach her and say "Mom, I need to talk with you and I need your patience and love while I try and express how I am feeling and the why behind what I wrote in that diary"..... If you truly can't speak directly to your mom then just go up to her and say "Mom, I am extremely uncomfortable in opening up to you and I don't want to be like this anymore so can we find someone to help me be able to do that with your help?" If you go into the conversation just "blaming" her she will only get defensive and neither of you will get to where you want to go with this.

I am sorry you are both hurt at the moment



but I am hoping you can open that "door" to repair some of the hurt you both feel.


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## MiniHGal (Oct 14, 2005)

I absolutely understand, and I still have those days where I don't like my parents very much at all. In fact, there are always those things that I have a very hard time coming to terms with.

I would assume you weren't writing it as a private journal? Not that it changes her action at all, but it does mean that it was 'for public consumption' and she can fairly easily find it when sifting through internet files.

I agree that you need an outlet...and a journal is a LOT better than throwing things or getting yourself high!!! Maybe you can write(in your journal) about how you and your mom are having problems over this...but at least you are writing in a journal instead of being a druggie...





Unfortunately you need to go home--this will allow all of this to 'blow over', her memory of the journal entries will subside and become less. And by your action of going home, she knows where you are, and that you really aren't a 'bad kid'. But I think if you go to the sleepover(even though she knows about it and may have previously said 'ok'), she will have a 'sticking point' for which to 'rake you over the coals' when you get into later arguments.


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## ChrystalPaths (Oct 14, 2005)

I've been thinking about how you two can fix this. How about a coffee house date? You can quietly discuss the lack of trust on both your parts.


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## LilSapphire (Oct 14, 2005)

Sorry about you and your mom. Hopefully u two can work it out since obviously feelings were hurt on both sides.

I was going to say though, you should get a diary like a normal hard-back one and hide it in your room to write your feelings in, not one that goes on the internet that other ppl can see anyway. Hopefully it will be more effective on the privacy part of things Lol

Jessica


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## billiethekid40 (Oct 14, 2005)

Wow, sweetie, you didn't mess up at all! I know when I was younger I often used my friends as my "hole in the ground", because I didn't keep a diary. I often said things that were COMPLETE exagerations, but because I was frustrated, venting in a major way always helped. In the end I always saw that things weren't as bad as I made them seem. I bet you found that with your journal? Ever look back at it and think to yourself "well, I guess I over reacted, but it sure feels better to have gotten it off my cheast!" Its much much *much* better to do this "over reacting" to a journal than to your moms face!

I'd explain to her that your journal is your private place where you vent frustrations, and if you use it like I have a feeling you do, also explain that you didn't actually *mean* all those things, but that when you got frustrated with her over exagerating made you feel better.

And hey, if you can't talk to her face to face about this yet, try writing her a letter first, after all, we know she likes to read your writing



(sorry, just trying to lighten the mood) But really, write her a letter with your feelings about this and tell her you'd like to talk about it when you are both ready to sit down and discuss it rationally and calmly.

Good luck, being a teen can be tough but as much as my parents frustrated me when I was your age we get along sooo much better now!


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## keeperofthehorses (Oct 14, 2005)

I may end up being the one getting flamed here, but here goes anyway... I'm assuming that you are under 18 and living at home. If I'm wrong, please correct me.

An online diary is not private. I searched around that site and within 5 minutes found several that could potentially be yours, and I bet if I really knuckled down I could find your specific blog. Want it private? Don't put it on the internet for the world to read. You don't know what kind of sickos are out there surfing for this kind of stuff. Create a Word document and password protect it. That's not fool proof either, but it's safer for you.

Right now, there are several cases (one murder that I know of for sure) that involve kids, OK, 'Minors', and their blogs. Kim Komando's show last week focused on how to get in and read your kid's blogs. Sounds like your mom may have been listening. First thing I did after hearing that show, and about the girl that was killed by someone who contacted her through her blog site, was search around for blogs belonging to my minor nieces and nephews. While you may feel that your mom violated your privacy, I see it as her loving you and doing whatever she can to protect you in a very different and digital world. A teenage girl writing about her angst regarding her parents is the perfect target for an adult sleaze bag to victimize.

I'm assuming you are a minor that is dependent on your mom for support, financial and otherwise. Reality is that while you are dependent on her, you have to play by her rules. There can be no expectation of total privacy while you are a child living at home.

Your mom has a responsibility to keep you safe and out of trouble. Perhaps the trust issues are not about you. Perhaps it's the rest of the world that she doesn't trust. No matter how well behaved you are, there are always sickos and freaks who are out there waiting for their next naive victim. You may think "It wouldn't happen to me", but it can. Google the sex offenders living within 10, 20 or 50 miles of you.

Regarding the sleep over, I would TALK to her and ASK her about it first. Just taking it upon yourself to go without discussing it with her will cause her to worry, which in turn will make her angry. Show her respect, and she will likely return it.

I went through some horrendously rough times with my parents as a teen. Looking back now, I see that they were just trying to be responsible parents. I believe that when it comes to the safety of children, you can never be too cautious.

Flame away...


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## js1arab (Oct 14, 2005)

I'm so sorry you have to go through this, but maybe this will be the turning point in your relationship. Sometimes, unfortunately, it takes an awful thing happening to bring people closer. I agree with the others that it was a breech of privacy for your mom to read your writings. I also know though what it is like to have a teenager as well as be one. When I was a teen, I too was for the most part a hard working, caring, outgoing person, but growing up in foster homes, it was hard for some of the foster parents to give much freedom as some kids come from such troubled homes they have to be careful or these kids can easily end up in bad situations. But I got extremely tired of not being trusted and anytime I was 5 minutes late from work I was accused of all sorts of awful things. I found that totally unfair and admittedly became a bit defiante. Nothing major, but I was most certainly angry inside. Now that I have a teenager of my own and one whose been a bit of a handful since birth. I am so afraid of all the things that could hurt him in this world. He is a bit spoiled and if he doesn't get his way, he will find a round about way to somehow get it. That tends to break down my trust. Also, he has never done anything terrible (that I know of anyway !!!!) but he isn't always as forthcoming or honest as I wish he would be. I've tried to explain that I will be upset if he's done something wrong, but I will be downright ticked off if he lies about it and somehow he doesn't seem to grasp that concept. I will admit, while I don't go around trying to find out secrets, upon occassion he has left papers lying around the house (not in his room) and I have glanced at them to be sure I needn't worry. It is normal for a teenager to start being a bit more secretive and quite moody, but those same things can also be signs of any number of things including, depression, suicide, drugs, or undesirable personal contact if you get the drift . I worry about everyone of these things and wouldn't be able to handle it if something happened to my son, even though he's a pain in my kiester sometimes. Also, please don't be too hard on your mom for wanting you to be the best you can be. I know my son resents me constantly trying to be sure he's being "a good boy" but with my birth family's history I just want my boys to be better than that. I managed not to be like the rest of my family, but I will never amount to anything fantastic, I would love to see my boys go on to do well in life because then I know I had a good purpose in this life to be the best mom I could be. Sorry this was so long, but I truly have some idea how both you and your mom may be feeling and I hoped my thoughts might help you. Good luck to you and I will also be here if you ever need someone to just listen {{{{{hugs}}}}}


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## Feather1414 (Oct 14, 2005)

Well everyone, thank you so much for all of your advice. Unfortunatly, I have another part of my story.

I did come home from school and unfortunatly, I never made it to the party. At school, I had a major breakdown to all my friends, and we talked for a while, and I was feeling a lot better. Then, as the end to my school day got near, I was getting scarder and scarder ((is that a word?)) but I did go home. My brother got to the porch first. He rang to doorbell, mom opened the door

said hi to Kevin, ignored me, and let the door shut in my face.

I went up to my room where I was for about 3 hours, when my dad called. He started talking to me, asking me if I truly felt that way, and I did deny it. He said that it was wrong for me to even THINK that stuff, let alone write it down. I used to have an issue with cutting and I began writing as a way to let my feelings out elsewhere.

The thing with my mom not trusting me is absurd. I really dont know where she gets the idea I am a bad kid.I have never smoked, drank, done drugs. I am home on time ((most of the time, give or take 5 min)) I have good friends and I don't put myself in bad situations. It just hurts because I am not the person she wants me to be. She wants me to be straight A, super girly girl, gets along with everyone and the daughter who talks to her about everything. Instead she got me. Punk rocker tomboy who LOATHES talking about her feelings to anyone.

It just hurts sometimes. I wrote down my feelings because I needed too. Yes, it could have been in a hardback diary, but no, it wasn't. If you really needed to know what blogring was mine, it was username Baaababy off of Xanga.com. I deleted the whole site for fear of whatelse she may stumble upon.

I have asked my mom what she was like when she was my age, but all she EVER says is we will talk about that when we are older. I have also tried talking to her. I would explain my day at school, and she would tell me what I did wrong, or something like that. The other day, I was at Walmart and I saw my friend Roxy. She had dyed her hair black about 2 months ago, and my mom started going on and on about how none of th girls in my group of friends do anything to improve their looks. I'm sorry if I don't put on a boatload of makeup every day, wear expensive deisgner clothes and make sure I am hair free. Thats not me. I wear black pants, $5 dollar shirts and a hoodie. I brush my hair, and throw it up in ponytail most times. Heh, enough of my ranting....


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## ChrystalPaths (Oct 14, 2005)

If you are/were a cutter it is a serious issue and perhaps one reason mom felt she had to check up on you. I hate to backtrack on my original opinion but if my childs saftey and yes that includes cutting is at risk....I may snoop. You see...my daughter was a cutter. I never knew until I found blades everywhere. When I asked; she folded and showed me and we talked forever. It is still a temptation for her when she gets stressed but she resists. I pray for her everyday. You have to be a mom to understand the fear and frustration of doing all we can for our kids and then seeing them do something so foreign to us. It scares the heck out of us. She got counseling I hope you will too. You and mom need to put it away and start fresh. My prayers are with you all.


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## Lisa-Ruff N Tuff Minis (Oct 14, 2005)

I so understand. I have a very judgemental mom who was always that way and sounds like she was a lot like your mom. That type of feeling unaccepted can hurt to the core

While I understand a parents fear and wanting to care about and for there kids there comes a time when you have to give them a bit of slack and if that means getting your feelings hurt as a parent so be it. Part of being a teen is not liking your parents or being embarassed by them or feeling so different then them.. it is all a normal part of growing up. Sometimes you out grow those feelings or sometimes you dont but harboring bad feelings and being hurt is an issue she needs to deal with it isnt your issue. Your issue could be saying hey that was an outlet no different then you talking to your friends or dad about us kids.

I am sorry you are having a rough time all i can tell you is while it doesnt seem so now... honestly make it past your teen years and things do start to get easier and make more sense (a bit anyway)


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## Miniv (Oct 14, 2005)

Jamie,

Your mom is scared to death....and knowing about the cutting thing would scare me too.

To me when a young person is a "cutter" they are dealing with a lot of intense feelings and are not expressing them in the right way. Sometimes it's because they can't find a person they can talk TO.

I'd like you to do two things for me --

1) Print up this entire thread (if you can) and ask you mom to read it. And if you can't print it, have her come on line and read it.

2) If you and your mom can't start TALKING -- without EITHER of you judging the other, you need to find another ADULT who is trustworthy and won't bash you for everything you might share. I bet you have a friend who has a parent just like that. (I was blessed to have a mom who was everyone's "hole" that they could pour on and she never judged......gave advice sometimes, but never critisized. Wish everyone could have had a mom like her and I hope I can be half as wonderful to my daughter in a few years.....)

Jamie, Someone needs to make the first move.......and by doing what I suggest, it will be YOU.

Blessings,

MA

PS: I know your father told you that you shouldn't be writing whatever you wrote down...... I will agree that puting it on line was probably not a good idea, but I do think that writing your feelings down IN PRIVATE, no matter what they are is never a bad thing.......Just my opinion.


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## backwoodsnanny (Oct 14, 2005)

I wasnt going to reply but couldn't resist. Im sure if you have been a cutter in the past your mom is probably scared to death. That said, a wise older person told me once when I was a mother of teenagers that the stress between parent and child during teenage years time is Gods way of making sure that by the time it was time for teens to leave the nest that both young adult and parent were ready for them to leave. Im glad you went home instead of going to your party as that would have just breeched the trust issue again. I really think you both mom and you could use some counseling as was suggested. And also as many have said once you are truly grown the relationship will probably improve. I didnt always like to hear what my children had to say but I always was willing to hear it. It was a rule that rarely did we talk about those upsetting things the day I heard about them instead I waited a full 24 hours before talking about it with them this gave both of us time to cool off and talk sensibly. Just a thought.


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## rabbitsfizz (Oct 15, 2005)

Jamie feel free to print this and show it to your Mom.

Dear Jamie's Mom,

After finding out that your daughter had self harm issues a lot of people on this Forum jumped in and defended your actions.

Sorry, I am NOT one of them.

If you had your Daughter needs at heart you would be holding her, however much she squirms and telling her how much you love her, however much she turns away.

Your role as Mother, my dear, is not to get as much out of this scene for yourself, as you can, but to be completely selfless.

To stand there whilst your horrid, angst ridden child shouts how much she hates you.

To put up with her strange clothes.

NOT to criticise her friends continually.

The role of a Mother is to be selfless.

You will receive love, automatically, you have no RIGHT to demand or expect it.

Your children owe you nothing- you _chose_ to have them, they did not ask to be born.

Your role is to help them as much as you can, to be understanding and loving and helpful whenever you can, and to keep your mouth shut when you can be none of these things.

You had no right to read Jamie's Diary- I could understand if you were checking up on her safety BUT once it was done , you had nor right WHATSOEVER to react to what you read there, not at all. You should have sat her down and talked to her kindly about how she felt, maybe told her that, although you should not have read it all, you were hurt and worried by it. SHE is the child, and yet it is you who have stamped your feet and had a childish temper tantrum because your child has not declared her undying love for you. My Dear, you need to grow up. You need to think of your Daughter and not yourself. Is she being a trial at the moment?? Is she running you ragged and giving you sleepless nights?? Welcome to the real world, the world where teenagers grow up, which is what she is desperately trying to do, and, I can tell you, from what her friends here on the Forum have seen, she is doing a pretty good job of it, so far.

PLEASE do not let this be in spite of you.

You have SO much to lose, she is only going to be a child for a little bit longer.

Get your act together, think of HER first, not yourself, and get yourself into a position where you can both enjoy her last days as a child.

Speaking from very personal experience, Jane.


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## Marty (Oct 15, 2005)

[SIZE=21pt]*HERE COMES THE SNOOPING MOTHER!!!*[/SIZE]

Call me mean, nasty, nosey, or mommy dearest, but I have every right to snoop wherever I want to whenever I want to if I feel it's warranted.

By that I mean that if one of my boys seems unusually upset, bothered, acting differently, upset etc. and will not talk to me and I become significantly worried, I am surely going to go snooping to see what I can find out in the name of love.

When kids get depressed and don't come out of it anytime soon, they can be in real serious trouble. I know that some kids commit suicide or will harm themselves, etc. and the parents stand there at the funeral and say "if only we had known, we could have helped....."

I"m not about to fall into that catagory.

But in my case, I know my kids pretty well, and only resorted to snooping, real snooping once. I don't do that as a rule and I would have to be very concerned to cross the line to do that but at the time it was the right thing to do and I am not sorry for it. It saved him from making a huge mistake that could have really hurt him.


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## Lisa-Ruff N Tuff Minis (Oct 15, 2005)

Maybe i misunderstood the original post. I read it as mom read some not so nice stuff about her from daughter- got feelings hurt ( which i understand) and now is mad and upset..

The way I am reading it i am not seeing much concern for safety not saying that isnt a part of it but... bottom line is like rabbit says there will be times your kids think they hate you , think you are an embarassment, are fed up with what they feel are judgements and lets face it plain dont like you when you dont do what they want.. that is there job as teens to deal with all of those feelings and more and learn how to sort them out and deal with them. It is so very hard to not take it personally and to heart but as a parent sometimes that is just what you have to do. It is one thing to check things for safety reasons although personally as a mom if that was my concern you can bet i would be checking you and your body not what you wrote. But it is another all togther to then take those things you found in hold on to them and not let them go and then to hold it against you.


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## ChrystalPaths (Oct 15, 2005)

You know we have quite a wonderful group of moms here and I'm proud of all of em.

Lisa and Rabbit say it perfectly.

All kids go through phases where they absolutely hate their parent(s). Mine did(do) at times. If I hadn't been snooping (as Marty put it) I may not have known she cut herself. By gentle pressure she confessed and we worked it out.

How about we parents that sometimes hate their kids. We go on a rant about all we do for them and how they don't appreciate or realize all we do for THEM....then reality hits and truer words were never spoken.....One person here said they didn't ask to born.

We are expected to do for them and raise them. It is our "job". Complain to the hand Mom or Dad. Did we as kids ever say, "gee Mom, thanks for going with out those new jeans/sneakers/food/trip/ dinner out/ so I could have...whatever. I don't think so.

I have days when I hate being a mom. I cry out, "why isn't this the pioneer days when at 15 they left home as adults!" "I've done all I can to this age, if they don't have it now, they never will".

You have days where you wish you had a diferent parent. All normal. BUT!

Bottom line....Mom should not have read your private journal, You should not have posted it on a public place. You have issues that scare the dickens out of Mom, and You insist things are fine. Something must have prompted her to go "look". Something you did or said or a general attitude to cause her fear or apprehension. I would never read a diary but; I have and do snoop when the signs tell me something is wrong.

We're all people, young or old, grown or growing. I hope you all can get past the betrayal and anger and embarrasment here and get to what the problem really is.

Remember God only gives you one family at a time. One mom and one dad. You kids don't come with an owners manual and as you kids make mistakes so do we as parents..If I screw up I apologize and I expect my kids to do the same.

Say you''re sorry for hurting her feeling but if she was worried she needs to come to you and just ask.

One life to live...live it well. Don't sweat the small stuff. Life is too short. If someone you love died tomorrow would you mourn the lost time to say I'm sorry and I love you? Better it is said now. Hugs to you all.

I'm so happy to be part of this forum family.


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## Horse Hugs (Oct 15, 2005)

You know, we are missing a big part of the story, and I think the details could make a big difference in the way things should be handled. How mean were the things that you wrote? Why exactly does your Mom have such a big problem trusting you?

I, personally, think it is wrong for a parent to read a child's diary. I don't think a parent has a right to know everything that their teenagers are thinking. This is very hard because as a parent we know every little detail about our children when they are younger and we have total control and then suddenly they grow up and shut us out. It can really hurt.

I'm not saying that I never snooped on my kids, though. I read my daughter's diary at one point when she was going through a very rough time. She made a comment about hating her life and wanting to die and I was devastated. Here was this girl who was so beautiful, extremely smart straight 'A" student, an excellent rider winner trophy after trophy, and had what I thought was a wonderful family life, saying she wanted to die.. I read her diary and felt that she was going through that teenage stage where it was "cool" to be depressed. She also was a writer and I think she wanted to be dramatic. BUT- I never told her I read her diary and I never got mad at her for anything she wrote. I just used the knowledge I gained to be a better parent. I made sure I watched her carefully and I spent a lot more time talking to her and trying to get her to open up.

I don't think waht I did was right- but I would do it all over again. As a parent, we have to do the best we can to protect our children.

I think if your Mom was concerned about something and was driven to read your blog than she should have realized that any information she got from it should have been confidential. She should not be holding it against you. The fact that she is not reaching out to you makes me wonder if she really has your best interest at heart. She seems to be acting very imaturely, but is there something more to the story? No matter what my daughter or son ever could do to me, I wouldn't ever ignore them like your Mom is doing now. Thats not very good parenting.

I have read so many of your posts over the last few months and you seem like a very stable and intelligent young lady. I hope your Mom will realize this and accept you for who you are.


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## rabbitsfizz (Oct 15, 2005)

Everybody, including Jamie.... I DO have a problem with Mom reading the diary, she had NO "right" to do so. If she was truly doing it out of concern for her daughter then, when she finds out that she is actually, for whatever reason, the _cause_ of her daughter current problems I would suggest that having a temper tantrum and refusing to speak to her daughter is probably NOT the right way to go about gaining her trust and love!! This is LUDICROUS!!! Once the diary had been read the way forward is to confess it, openly, apologise for having done it and explain the reasons behind so doing. NOT act like a spoilt child . Mom had no _right_ to read the diary, she is acting, and Dad as well, as if they _did_ have this right, and they can "bully" their daughter into having the right sort of thoughts and ideals. That is down right daft....sorry, but, I think I've tried just about every angle, including screaming and yelling (who hasn't??) Doesn't work, end of story. I can think of a thousand good reasons not to do anything that Jamie's Mom has done but, bottom line is, she should not do it because this line of approach DOES NOT WORK


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## ~LadyBug~ (Oct 15, 2005)

Hi Jamie ((hugs)) to you for having to go through this. I am 17 and believe me I know being this young can get rough. and we all have to go through it. Fortunately, my mom trusts me alot, because i have always been responsible and trustworthy, but my dad is harder to gain the trust even though i have never broken it.

. One thing that happens to me that really hurts, is im constantly getting told that i should do this and that and work harder around the house and be more helpful and stop leaving dirty clothes out and do your laundry and so on.....and no matter how hard i try i always fall short, then i get the whole lecture about how they do so much for me and give up their whole lives for me and i cant even do a little in return. That hurts big time.

Like RabbitsFizz said, I didnt ask to be born, and im sorry im such a problem. I hope my parents are happier when i move out..

grrrr its tough being a teen..

Ashley


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## js1arab (Oct 15, 2005)

~LadyBug~ said:


> Hi JamieÂ  ((hugs)) to you for having to go through this. I am 17 and believe me I know being this young can get rough. and we all have to go through it. Fortunately, my mom trusts me alot, because i have always been responsible and trustworthy, but my dad is harder to gain the trust even though i have never broken it. . One thing that happens to me that really hurts, is im constantly getting told that i should do this and that and work harder around the house and be more helpful and stop leaving dirty clothes out and do your laundry and so on.....and no matter how hard i try i always fall short, then i get the whole lecture about how they do so much for me and give up their whole lives for me and i cant even do a little in return. That hurts big time.
> 
> Like RabbitsFizz said, I didnt ask to be born, and im sorry im such a problem. I hope my parents are happier when i move out..
> 
> ...


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## Feather1414 (Oct 16, 2005)

Thank you everyone for responding to my post. I haven't cut in over a year, and to be honest, my mom never found out, nor do I have any intentions of telling her. I have always tried my absolute best to make my parents proud, and it just hurts SOOOOO much when even my best efforts come across as half - assed ((am I allowed to say that?)) and in turn my parents think I am just being lazy.

Js1arab. Please try harder to listen to your son. A lot of parents now a days think we are just lazy especially in school, but its hard. Its really hard. Daily we have teachers telling us about our futures, and such and then we come home and have our parents hassle us. Its truly not easy. Things you parents did as kids are now considered inappropriate and we are expected to behave like perfect young people. Do you know how hard it is? We are kids, we still have a lot of energy. We are still growing up. Parents are always trying to keep us from making the same mistakes, but sometimes you NEED to make a mistake to learn. I know I have made plenty of mistakes, and I won't go about doing them again.

RuffNTuff - the original post was about how my mom read some not so nice stuff, and yes, she is upset. Today she was actually speaking to me, which is a change, but then it got bad when I tried to tell her how I felt. How I am sorry for hurting her, but NOT sorry for what I wrote and she told me she thinks I need to see a therapist. Its comments like that that don't improve anything. When your parents won't listen to what you have to say, and always think they are right, we as kids feel its impossible to tell them anything anyways, and will just stop trying all together. If your only going to get shot down, why put forth the effort?


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## Feather1414 (Oct 16, 2005)

Gah, double post...


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## Crossbuck Farms (Oct 16, 2005)

It really bothers me when kids sit and say they have stress. How can a kid have stress with school and a normal life. If they cannot deal with a normal life how will a kid function when they are on there own. I mean right now as I type my dad has just had his 3rd heart attack and don't even ask about our finances now that is stress.


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## Feather1414 (Oct 16, 2005)

dazzler79 said:


> It really bothers me when kids sit and say they have stress. How can a kid have stress with school and a normal life. If they cannot deal with a normal life how will a kid function when they are on there own. I mean right now as I type my dad has just had his 3rd heart attack and don't even ask about our finances now that is stress.
> 485566[/snapback]
> ​



Dazzler, this is the kind of thinking that I was talking about. You just don't think we can be stressed. Maybe its not the same type of stress, but we do stress out about a lot of things. Right now, I have teachers and parents breathing down my neck about colleges, and my future, and its all very scary... Just an example...


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## Horse Hugs (Oct 16, 2005)

Feather,

Stress, like most things in this life, is relative. Don't let anyone make you feel like your stress is not real- because it is. Some people deal with stress better than others and some people get stressed out over the least little thing- but being a teenager getting ready for college is a very stressful time in your life. Are you a Senior? I read that a lot of High Schools are offering counseling to Seniors because they get so stressed out applying to colleges and waiting for the decisions so you are not alone in feeling that there are so many things to deal with right now.

I wish your Mother would take some time to listen to you. I know exactly how you feel because I could never get my Mom to listen to me when I was young. She was very close-minded and didn't want to ever hear my side of anything.


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## Ashley (Oct 16, 2005)

I havent posted on this for many reasons, but Feather I know where you are comeing from with alot of the things you stated in your original posts.

Dazzler~ Thats very harsh, and I hope that if you ever have kids, for the sake of them you open our mind and realize that before its to late with them.


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## ~LadyBug~ (Oct 16, 2005)

Dazzler, that was very harsh. I am 17, and have been going through major stress and depression this year. Dont try to tell me it aint real, cause it ruined my summer and made me gain weight and lose all confidence in myself.

I got turned on by all the people that i thought were my friends, went through some really bad relationships, stress about getting good grades and graduating, MAJOR work stress, I was a vet tech and took my job very seriously and i lived for it, but i had a boss that was abusing me. My parents forced me to quit, because i was coming home from work crying every night, my boss made me lay on the floor and reach under cages that she didnt think were adequately clean, she recorded my phone convos with clients and if i stuttered she punished me. She RUINED my life this year. SO DONT TELL ME that kids cant have stress and depression. Yea i am the only 17 year old i know that is a trained vet tech, but dont tell me i cant handle it. Cause the truth is i live for it and im D*amn good.

I Have been fighting this with everything i have left in me, I am losing the weight, I am trying to hold my head high again. I am going back and taking SATs this winter so i can go off to college to get licensed as a vet tech this fall.

Hang in there Jamie, I know how it feels to be going through what you are going through, but it will pass and you will be fine.





Its tough being young but we will survive it i suppose





Ashley


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## Lisa-Ruff N Tuff Minis (Oct 16, 2005)

dazzler79 said:


> It really bothers me when kids sit and say they have stress. How can a kid have stress with school and a normal life. If they cannot deal with a normal life how will a kid function when they are on there own. I mean right now as I type my dad has just had his 3rd heart attack and don't even ask about our finances now that is stress.
> 485566[/snapback]
> ​


I understand you are going thru some tough stuff right now so that may be part of your comment but..

a kid cant deal with life as an adult that is why they ARE KIDS!

Beign a teen is a horrible stressful time, trying to fit in , and figure out yourself where you fit as a teen and as a almost adult, friends, peer pressure, decisions daily about drugs, alcohol, sex, boys , girls, school ,college, work I wouldnt go back there for NOTHING NO HOW NO WAY.

and yes thati s what I thought the OP was about.. there is NO WAY it is appropriate for her to be angry about what she snooped and found period no matter how you slice it. I understand being hurt i am sure I would be to but.. the ADULT thing to do is to accept it as venting from a teen and let it go not hold it against your child

I am sorry things are so tough for you right now hang in there it will get better.


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## Pepipony (Oct 16, 2005)

Dazzler, you obviously dont have a clue. I know that sounds harsh but goodgooglymoogly! I havent been in school for 25 years and it was stressfull then. Now w/drugs, more activities, more stressfull parents ( who want to keep up w/the Jones' and bury themselves in debt) and everything else going on, I can only imagine how stressed kids can be.


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## nootka (Oct 17, 2005)

Yes, being a teenager is stressful. It is hard to know where we fit into the life we will soon be thrust into, whether we are ready or not!

It is scary wondering if we'll make it, after all, we have no real experience to know that we WILL and many times, our parents forget to reassure us that we will, rather they expect us to, at all costs, and we don't know that we are up to the task!

I am not a teenager, but was one...*LOL*...many years ago.

I had lots of tough issues to deal with within our family, and NO PRIVACY. It's bothered me for a long time, and I still have certain issues with privacy and the respect of that, or lack of.

Anyway, what I'm getting at is that there is no stress quite like that of people in the young adult/teenage period of life, and I think great risk for them to make it to safe and sound adults. Parenting is not easy, either, and lots of deep emotions are tied up within.

We don't always make the best choices as parents, but hopefully your mother will realize that she needs to be consistent and dependable, always there for you, never wavering. Even through my hardest times, those that stood firm (even if I did not agree one bit) were the ones I clung to the tightest, and ultimately kept me sighted in on a decent life when I had very little example of them.

Try to get beyond your betrayal of your privacy, be a "bigger man" and offer her a truce, but explain to her your need for space and privacy. It might help to see someone and talk it out, but in my experience, this proved to be a bigger betrayal because my psychiatrist eventually, apparently, spilled all to my parents. I had a lot of trust issues, and probably haven't fully worked them out.

Wish I knew what to say except to say that even though this seems insurmountable, it will be pretty insignificant with the passage of time and the experiences you will soon have.

Best wishes to you,

Liz M.


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## rabbitsfizz (Oct 17, 2005)

Dazzler, you need to think again. School is very stressful. Peer pressure is just the start. When I was 16, well over 40 years ago and a different world, I had a nervous breakdown whilst at school, due to persecution...FROM A TEACHER!!!! A friend of mine went through the same school and the same thing happened- but, in those days, no-one made a fuss, so nothing was done. 30 years later this teacher still remembered me, so she _knew_ what she had done!! I had a rotten home life as well, so Yes, stress happens, from the moment you are born, you are stressed. It is actually what causes us to do things. Without stress of some kind we would just sit around and smile- well, I lived through the sixties, so I know all about _that_....man




Jamie is stressed, _over_ stressed, that is the difference. I am sure you are really stressed, I am sorry for everything that is happening to you, but do not, please, belittel other peoples problems because of it


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## Crossbuck Farms (Oct 17, 2005)

I can honestly say I did have a great home life, good friends, some troubles here or there. I don't care if you are still in school or graduated a 100 years ago drugs and sex are easy to deal with. JUST SAY NO! I DID!

PepiPony- I have a pretty good handle on life. Other comments I will keep to myself.

Ladybug- Why on earth would you let someone walk all over you. Stand up for yourself. Been there done it.

Ashley-Almost all your comments are always negative at me. To keep typing would be a waste of posting space

Rabbit and Lisa Yah I'm stressed and venting, thankyou for the sympathy.

In general I'm not belittling problems as much as I'm saying sooner or later you have to grow up. Why so much stress with college? It's your life and your future don't rush into it take your time.

Okay firing squad fire AWAY!!


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## yankee_minis (Oct 17, 2005)

I'm not going to be very popular here. But....

Mom had every right on this planet to read the diary. However, if it hurt, it hurt. She'll get over it eventually. You have the right to vent. It's not about her.

What your mother was looking for were hints on things that you might be doing that could be considered "risky".

Someone who is/was into cutting is exhibiting other behavior(s) that should have raised a red flag with a parent. Trust me-- your mother has seen some things that make her think you are doing something that isn't safe, or at the least, not in your best interest. You might think that's not true-- but it is.

I snoop on one of my children. It is 100% necessary. I don't need to snoop on the other children. However, I'm not above checking out what they're writing in chat rooms and through instant messages.

It is my responsibility to pay attention and be vigilent.


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## js1arab (Oct 17, 2005)

Feather, I just wanted to let you know that you have made me take a hard look at my own parenting. I could see your situation from two sides, but hadn't really thought about the third view. "I" could see how "I" felt about your situation as a parent, "I" could remember how "I" felt to be a teen, but I never really thought at first what it might be like from the eyes of my teenager. We had another one of our grouch fits the other day and low and behold, what do you think he says to me (and no he didn't read your post



) He says " Mom, why does it always have to be your way. You always tell me what to do and how to do it, when will you ever figure out that I need to learn to do things myself" Ouch!!!! It really stinks when someone says something that you can't defend because you know it's true. After we both settled down a bit, I did try to explain that I am only trying to help him so he has every chance at becoming a well rounded adult. It will obviously be harder than just this one talk, but hopefully, if we can keep the communication open it will help. I do want to add that in his case, he has given me plenty of reason to distrust him, nothing dangerous, more just annoying as all get out and sometimes dishonest or thoughtless, but none the less, I have to learn to let go sometime and let him make his mistakes. It's just so hard as a parent, we want nothing but the best for our kids and without a doubt, no matter what my kids do to make me crabby, I love them so deeply, I would give my life for them in an instant and never think twice about the times they've upset me. To all our teens on here. Hang in there. With as many of us old crabby people as there are running around, it must somehow be possible to survive the teenage years, but I don't remember it being easy. Maybe God meant for it to be hard since it seems nothing worth having ever comes easy, and what does come easy is not usually worth having


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## Lisa-Ruff N Tuff Minis (Oct 17, 2005)

I agree wtih the last post and .. EVERY kid has done something to make parents distrust them at one level or another that is there job they are learning about making mistakes and how to deal with t hem and breaking rules and doing what they are not supposed to that is all part of growing up and learning to be an adult. If your kid hasnt done something to make you distrust them- you just havent caught them yet


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## Feather1414 (Oct 17, 2005)

dazzler79 said:


> I can honestly say I did have a great home life, good friends, some troubles here or there. I don't care if you are still in school or graduated a 100 years ago drugs and sex are easy to deal with. JUST SAY NO! I DID!
> PepiPony- I have a pretty good handle on life. Other comments I will keep to myself.
> 
> Ladybug- Why on earth would you let someone walk all over you. Stand up for yourself. Been there done it.
> ...



Ok Dazzler, congradulations... you are "perfect" you know exactly what to do in a situation and you are not afraid to tell others how to handle things.

MY GOODNESS, I laughed so hard over this one I snorted milk out of my nose. You are one very negative person. I am SORRY that your dad is dong how he is, but you know what, thats not something that ANY of us here on the forum caused what happened, but we ARE here to support you in your time of need.

With Ladybug, I am VERY sorry with what happened. I know what its like to have something kinda like that happen, and it hurts, its scary and its just a whole mix of feelings and its NOT fun to deal with. I am sorry.

Agreeing with Pepipony right here... you obviously do NOT have a handle on life. I PROMISE that you have had an issue where you did the wrong thing. I was just joking about you being perfect.

Ashley - well said girl, I applaud you. Its so true.

Dazzler79, you NEED to take off your rose colored glasses and live in the real world. I don't know what kind of lala, candy and sprinkles fairy land you are living in, but its not reality. You are being quite rude, inconsiderate and I don't know who on this topic takes you seriously.

And you know what... drugs are NOT easy to say no to when you are in a situation where you want to feel like all your problems have gone away. No, I have NOT been doing drugs, never have and never will touch them. And saying no to sex can be difficult. It really can. I won't go into detail, but I am SURE you have been "caught up in the moment" one time or another and almost had some bad happenings. Once again, no I am NOT having sex, nor doing ANYTHING of the sort. I am not like that, I am waiting until marriage until ANYTHING happens thank you.


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## Crossbuck Farms (Oct 17, 2005)

I love it you are a teenager and already lived life. I guess you know it all.

Yes Feather I'm not afraid to tell whats on my mind.

It is easy to SAY NO!

Hope the milk did not stain your shirt. I think Shout will take it out.

Edited to say. I guess I should say I'm one of those "rare" teenager that got along with my mom and dad. I was a good kid. I did wait until marriage and was proud of that. Call me a goody good. Never did drugs never smoked. So yes life can be okay and dandy.

I do live in the real world. In July I had a misscarriage. I OWN a FARM. Pay a mortagage. Own quite a few horses (35+) which I work my own to keep. I have a college degree. Yah I have stress, I'd call it real world stress.

Not that your stress ain't real but how will you handle the real world as you put it.

You are a teenager venting, and I'm 25 year old adult venting.


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## Ashley (Oct 17, 2005)

Anybody who cuts has some big issues going on somewhere. Most people do not know/understand how a cutter funtions. Even thou you dont do it anymore Feather, you still think at times like one. THey think on a totally different level. When you are a cutter, I would say no it isnt easy to say no to sex, drugs and alcohol. When you cut you are looking for anything to take the inside pain away, anything that will easy it, nothing with hurt more then the pain inside.


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## OhHorsePee (Oct 18, 2005)

I can see your point of being upset over your mother reading your info, but I can also see her concern now that she has. What has been done can not be undone. Time to move on from it. Tell your mom that you are sorry for what you wrote and that you were just venting. If she wants you to go to counseling for her piece of mind (and I'll tell you, if I found out one of my boys were a cutter they would be drug there if need be). It wont hurt you to go. It would just give you an impartial person to speak to. Her not speaking at the moment might be out of guilt. Maybe she is blaiming herself? If you don't start talking to her soon it will get harder to do so.

Good luck!

Fran


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## Pepipony (Oct 18, 2005)

Stress is relative. My stress is more than others ( big time health problems) but far lesser than some. It is not up to me to say that suchandsuch isnt stressfull, I dont have the arrogance, or is it ignorance, to say such a thing. As the old saying going, untill you have walked a mile in my shoes.................


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## Ashley (Oct 18, 2005)

I dont beleive her mom knows/knew she cut when she did.

What people dont get about cutting is no counsler is gonna get you to stop. It has to be something the person choses on there own. The counslers will even tell you that.

Stoping something like that is alot easier said then done.


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## Crossbuck Farms (Oct 18, 2005)

I had a friend who was a cutter. But she was alot stronger and quit.


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## Jill (Oct 18, 2005)

Dazzler, I know you are having a lot to deal with now but you're being pretty hateful here. You've almost always got a chip on your shoulder and have many cruddy remarks to make to others.


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## Boss Mare (Oct 18, 2005)

Ashley said:


> Anybody who cuts has some big issues going on somewhere.  Most people do not know/understand how a cutter funtions. Even thou  you dont do it anymore Feather, you still think at times like one.  THey think on a totally different level.  When you are a cutter, I would say no it isnt easy to say no to sex, drugs and alcohol. When you cut you are looking for anything to take the inside pain away, anything that will easy it, nothing with hurt more then the pain inside.
> 486036[/snapback]
> ​


Ashley (and others),

You know I've posted on this subject before and you know you're very right. A cutter or SI'er has a few intentions in mind and it varies from self punishment, control to replacing emotional pain with physical pain, at least from my experience. I won't go into details, because I don't think it's needed. I have to add though, that not all cutters or SI'ers are suicidal .... and it isn't hard nor impossible to be a cutter or SI'er and say NO to sex, drugs, alcohol, etc., at least from my experience that is.



dazzler79 said:


> I had a friend who was a cutter. But she was alot stronger and quit.
> 486456[/snapback]
> ​


Dazzler,

You are just 25 after all, go back in time for a moment (not too long ago) and think about how stressful school and growing up in your teen years was -- perhaps you forgot?! If you can honestly say you never had a stressful moment nor had peerpressure present itself to you, than thank God that you truly lived/live in a candy land world.

..... or you can look at it from another perspective and look as a cutter or SI'er as being strong in one perspective, because ultimately the complete weak would choose suicide. People cut for multiple reason, many do it just to fit into a particular group and not actually seeking something from the actually SI itself.

Another thing to remember is that each person has their own definition of stress and different people tolerate it different, no one is the same after all.


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## Ashley (Oct 18, 2005)

AS always Boss Mare





Dazzler~

Go back to your picture perfect world. And sorry but I do consider myself a strong person.


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## Crossbuck Farms (Oct 18, 2005)

Sorry I don't see how my friend being strong is a candyland world or a chip on my shoulder.

Ashley-



my world was never perfect I just could handle it.


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## Crossbuck Farms (Oct 18, 2005)

TO ALL

I DID NOT TYPE OR WRITE ON THIS POST. I HAVE TAKEN CARE OF THE PERSON WHO DID. I JUST BECAME AWARE OF THE FIRE GOING ON HERE.

SORRY FOR THE CONFUSION!

DAZZ

I AM NOT THAT HATEFUL. The most active post I did was with my dad's heart attack.


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## Pepipony (Oct 18, 2005)

dazzler79 said:


> Sorry I don't see how my friend being strong is a candyland world or a chip on my shoulder.
> Ashley-
> 
> 
> ...



I think the problem is Dazzler hasnt grown up enough to learn what TACT is. Too bad that.


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## ~LadyBug~ (Oct 18, 2005)

WOW this has turned into a hate post!!!! Jamie was just venting and asking for opinions, our job was to be there to identify with her and enourage her, not to flame her and everyone else telling us that we shouldnt even have problems!!

Maybe you are perfect....maybe you are the strongest person in the world...maybe you dont have problems with stupid little things like this....GOOD FOR YOU....then dont post on this forum!!! Go play somewhere else where the people are perfect like you!!!












Ashley and Boss mare








Now everyone please have a lovely day

Ash


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## Ashley (Oct 18, 2005)

Hehe, sorry ash had to laugh at your post. Just reading it then to get to the bottom of it, and read that made me laugh. Thanks, needed that today.

I have a hard time beleiving that isnt Dazzler posting. But who cares.

Feather, I hope you get things with your mom worked out. Keep your head up, and keep on keepen on, it will eventually get better.


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## Crossbuck Farms (Oct 18, 2005)

POSTING HERE TOO

I've been away because of my dad. I also have some really good forum friend who will attest I'm not mean, actually rather mad this happened.

What happened:

First off I run a 4-H and I drive a school bus. I also do ponies and petting zoo for a living. I really like children and teenagers. While my dad had his heart attack, my relative of 14 whose been helping here as I've been not has been posting. I gave her my password to may e-mail which she was to check, that is how we conduct our party pony biz. You know contracts and stuff 4 our biz. She got into my favorite places found the forum and had fun.


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## Jill (Oct 19, 2005)

Urgh! I'm sorry this happened!!!!


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