# Visions of death, you won't believe it



## Marty (Jun 30, 2006)

You won't believe this, but I had a feeling that this was going to happen since graduation night. No, I'm not sedated. I can't type when I am, nor have I lost my mind although maybe I wish I had. Nothing like this has ever happened to me before or anyone else that I know of.

Call it a preminition, call it mother's intuition, I don't know what it was, but I knew something was going to happen to Michael. I thought he was going to be in a car accident for the past month.

I've been a nervous wreck since the day Michael got his license and car. He had wrecked the first week he had his license back in the fall on the mountain roads hitting the guard rail head on with Daniel on their way to school one morning and I've been a basket case ever since. Everytime he got in that car, I'd come unglued. I loved it every time it broke down and he couldn't get anywhere. That car to me was a symbol of death for some reason and I just hated it. Made plenty of excuses not to let him go out at night. I always told him that we didn't have the money to give him to get parts for it. I did not want him in that car. I'd say if he wanted to go out at night, to take the truck because if that little car were hit, it would be totaled and he'd be dead.

Then the strange stuff set in. It began graduation night when Jerry and I had waited for Dan and Michael to join us in a restaraunt near the school. We got tire of waiting and knew they were still up at the school celebrating so Jerry and I ditched them and came on home. On the way up the mountain I had this very disturbing feeling but I couldn't describe it other than saying I was nervous about something but not sure what.

The next day I was washing dishes and out of nowhere I had a vision, like a daydream of me in a funeral parlor looking at caskets and it was very clear. I stopped washing dishes and just starred out the window like "what did I just see that for" and felt, oh my gosh I'm loosing it. It didn't happen again until about a week later, same daydream. I was in the middle of a lifetime movie when it happened and just came over me. I got up and came into the kitchen and got hit with another one right away only this time it was me sitting in a brown metal chair on the grass in a graveyard at a funeral and I knew it was Michael. I kept saying to myself "Michael's going to die" but of course that was insane. What a terrible thing for me to think. How dare I think that? Why would anyone have a horrible thought like that? Something was really wrong with me in the head I thought. I look at Michael and I see death for him. Completely insane.

This visions continued a few more times getting more and more intense and I finally told somebody. I had to because they were eating me up. But I couldn't tell Jerry of course and I didn't know who to tell something like this to. I called my best friend in Connecticut and she was never home. So I finally told three people that I trusted and thought would understand somehow. I was convinced that I was back to having panic attacks from the wreck I had on the mountain road 4 years ago. I was back to having panic attacks again because I was so paranoid about Michael driving that car. I was giving the lecture about how he's growing up and how I was not going to be able to keep him home all the time and everyone wanted me to get used to it and accept it and just calm down. I was a bundle of nerves and I'd have to get ahold of myself.

A couple of weeks later on Memorial Day weekend Michael and Dan wanted to go out at night and I went crazy and told Jerry not to let them go because they hadn't done any chores. I sorta lied to keep them home. They argued that they did chores and everyone got mad at me and Jerry let them go. Soon as they left I told Jerry that this running around at night was too dangerous and he had to take the car away and he refused. We argued over it back and forth and things got heated and I said he was too permissive and they were going to wreck and he'd never forgive himself. He said that if I don't back off and give them space, and stop trying to lock them up, I would drive Michael right out the door to go live with his friends in town. Jerry was really mad at me and warned me this was going to have to stop everytime they wanted to go out. I was in a mess all night long watching the clock and waiting and waiting and I knew something had happened because they were so late but I did not have a vision. Jerry began to worry too. Then the phone rang and it was the state police. They said that the boys were broke down at the State Park up here but they were ok. The car hit a really big pot hole and something was busted in the car and they couldn't get it running. We drove out to the park and picked the boys up and Jerry looked and said he thought the fuel pump was shot and called for a wrecker the next day to bring the car home. I was elated. It was all messed up and wouldn't run. Michael now had no ride and no money to get the car fixed.

That's when Michael began to fiddle around with the little mini chopper engine so he could atleast go up and down the road to his friend's house. Every day he spent a little time on getting it running. He'd test drive it through the yard and I'd tell him, don't ever ride that stupid thing on the road because some jerk will run right over top of you. Those were my exact words. He said awwwwww ma.......quit it......... and proceeded to keep testing it around the yard but it would cut out and back he'd go to work on it some more.

The last week of his life was intense because the daydreams were coming like crazy and I was shaking all the time really bad.

Michael and I were together every single day that last week from morning till night and having a lot of fun goofing around but I was still shaking every now and then. I told him a million times a day that I loved him and he was handsome and I was so proud of him and we were making plans. When Jerry would come home, I'd say "Jerry be sure to remind Michael how proud you are of him ok?" But seemed like every time I'd look in Michael's face, I pictured him "not right" and I'd have to get up and go outside or leave the room. On one occasion I asked him to hurry up and get me an asprin because my chest was feeling so tight.

On his last day we went to town because for some reason I woke up and wanted him to get the parts he needed for his car. He was like "HUH?" He needed some kind of bolts. I don't know what made me suddenly want to help him get his car running again. I just knew it was something that I had to do for him to make him happy, but I couldn't understand what was making me want to help him buy car parts for a car that represented death to me and was the cause of my visions.

We and had such a heart to heart talk on the way back from town which was way over due. Seemed like feelings just poured out of both of us and I told him that I would now accept his relationship with his girlfriend that I had been against for the past 9 months, only due to her young age. I told him how sorry I was for being against it but explained that it was only because I wanted him to get that diploma and focus on nothing else. I asked him if he thought I was a bad mother or a mean mother several times and he said no that I was just goofy. It was like we somehow were getting closure to a lot of things. He had told me that he had been waiting for me to accept his relationship with his girlfriend for so long and he couldn't beleive that I was making him so happy that morning. He told me that "mom, sometimes you rock"

When we got home I told him to call his girlfriend and take my truck to get her in the morning and to go to Walmart for pool supplies. Then to bring her back here and set the pool up and we'd plan a huge 4th of July party together. I promised not to drown her. He got her on the phone and told her "mom's lost her mind"......she was so happy that for the first time I was letting her come over and would accept her. I told Michael that he had got the diploma, was well on his way for a good future, and he made me so happy. We were now both content. I remember saying to him that he was the light of my life and I'd never let him get too far away from me. I was over come with emotions and just couldn't seem to get enough of him that last day. I kept taking pictures of him. I took pictures of him in the house and on the porch with his kitten.

Later on he was back and forth to the garage about that chopper and once when he headed out to the garage to work on the mini chopper, I told him "hey, don't forget about what I said about that thing" ...........someone will run over top of you............

When my doctor & staff heard the news and showed up at the viewing the look on their faces was in pure shock and horror. Michael had recently stopped in their office and sprayed the staff all over with some cologne and loved to harrass them all the time. She was keeping a very close eye on me, no doubt.

To top it off, on the way to Chattanooga hospital I had my hands in the praying position and I kept praying over and over "Lord, please don't let Michael leave me" about a million times. Once when we were about 30 minutes into our trip on the interstate and I had a sudden jolt of my entire body that was so strong where my purse which I was hugging on my lap just flew onto the floor of the truck and I spilled my pepsi. Then as we approached the emergency entrance while looking for a parking place it happened again when my whole body had a huge spasm that made me practically jump off the seat. I think that the timing was about the same time that Michael's heart stopped beating and was being jump started two times.

This is the absolute truth.

I would never make up such a thing.


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## Miniv (Jun 30, 2006)

I believe you Marty.......

MA


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## Fullmoon (Jun 30, 2006)

Reading this I have goose bumps. I believe you also, a mothers connection can be so strong!


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## kaykay (Jun 30, 2006)

marty

I absolutely believe you. I have had something very similiar happen so I know exactly what your talking about.

Wish I could give you a big hug


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## C & C Farms (Jun 30, 2006)

I believe you Marty. I think there is a strong bond between mother and child.

Take care Marty and God Bless you!


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## anita (Jun 30, 2006)

Dear Marty

Yes, I believe you................

Anita


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## ChrystalPaths (Jun 30, 2006)

Marty, you know me, I would never doubt one single word, one single thought. I do believe, and I thank you so much for sharing that. Love you!


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## sfmini (Jun 30, 2006)

I absolutely believe you 100%

I had a similar experience, not as intense or profound as yours, acutally had it happen twice.

The first time was way back in 1976 at Christmas time. I had this strong need to be close to my grandfather, never let him out of my sight the entire time I was there, had to be touching, following, sitting with him. He was gone a month later.

More recently, it was a co-worker who had ALS. One day I saw him getting into his car at work and it just popped into my head that I would never see him again. Silly me, he is doing ok, what was I thinking? Never saw him again.....

After these experiences and reading yours, I will never again ignore those feelings!


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## Pandora (Jun 30, 2006)

I believe you.

Melissa


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## txminipinto (Jun 30, 2006)

I believe you Marty. I, too, have had similar experiences. Granted I didn't lose a child but I lost a friend and I knew it before anyone told me. There are things that no one can explain and we just have to take them at face value. Some of us are blessed (or cursed) to have visions of what's to come. You can't stop it from happening, you just have to take the opportunity to be prepared.

You are not crazy; just very intuned to what's going on around you.


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## RAPfrosty (Jun 30, 2006)

I believe you! I know this will sound so minor compared to your loss but the night my cat died I had the same sort of experience. Right before I let her outside that night (which I normally don't do, we usually try to keep the cats in at night) I had this feeling like something was going to happen to her but I let her out anyway. I knew I was going to regret it. That night she was hit by a car and died.


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## Nancy G (Jun 30, 2006)

God Bless you Marty. It is wonderful that you had the talks with your son. And the pictures you got of him are priceless. I just love the one of him and the kitten. Precious!!

I know others have had experiences like yours. My father, who was 90, called me to his room one night (late) He said he wanted to tell me he would die in about 10 days. I told him there was no way he could know that, that he was doing great. He said he had talked to God. He wanted me to be prepared for his death. He died nine days later, at 11:30 PM. SO he was very close to knowing the date of his death, within 1/2 hour. I had marked that date on my calendar but then forgot all about it, until that night. We had wonderful times together and grew very close the last three years. He depended on me completely and became almost like a child in the end. It was an honor for me to care for him in his last 3 years. Dad was a Christian. Visions of him in the loving arms of God, helped to comfort me.

May God comfort and give you peace Marty. You are in my thoughts and in my prayers.


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## Leeana (Jun 30, 2006)

Marty you know i believe you, i've heard of things like this happening before ....i wouldnt have blaimed you for the panic attacks and everything you did to try to keep the car out of working condition.

You are a great mother, one of the best one's i could imagine. What you did for Michael was incredible, from keeping him in school and graduating up untill that last trip into town. You were and are a great mother.

Leeana H.


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## Reble (Jun 30, 2006)

You are a wonderful Mother Marty ( Keep your Faith )




:


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## hobbyhorse23 (Jun 30, 2006)

I believe.

Visions are warnings. Seeing what is to come doesn't mean you can change what will happen, but it means you can change how you act up until that moment and maybe make a difference.

That's what you did. Because of you, Michael knew every minute how cherished he was and you had wrapped things up so that there was nothing left unsaid.

THAT is what made and makes you a great mother.



:

Leia


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## tazz001 (Jun 30, 2006)

Dearest Marty!!I beleive that you had those "visions" When we lost Ashley Ron and I BOTH knew something was wrong...I beleive his feelings towards the visions were stronger than mine. We both knew that she was going to die in an auto accident...still a very long story about her death but I won't take your time right now.

In your heart know that you were right and you did right by trying to make peace with your son...

Again, my sincerest condolences to your family. i fully understand your feeling.


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## Jess P (Jun 30, 2006)

Marty, I believe you!

This is very minor compared to what you experienced, but I was on the road in NY the day he died and there were a bunch of motorcycles on the road for some rally. I got really nervous and I actually thought about one getting into an accident but thought maybe I just was bored and let my mind wander.

Stay strong, you are doing a good job so far!

We love you!


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## momtotwo (Jun 30, 2006)

Marty, I've been considering sending you a copy of the book, "Embraced by the Light" but wasn't sure if you would be interested in it. It's kind of "off-the-wall" but it really helped me understand Life and loss a little better. Maybe everything the author says is wrong, but maybe it's not. When I read what you wrote about the visions I decided that you might be interested in the book. The thing that stood out for me the most was the idea that before we are born we choose to take a certain path in our Life. One example was a man who chose to live as a bum because his friend was going to be a lawyer and the bum panhandled outside the lawyer's office to help remind him to be compassionate. Please don't be offended by this, but I can envision someone like Michael choosing a mission like this. Because of his death you will be working hard to make things right on your mountain. I am sending a copy of the book to you today. I hope that it can help you find a little bit of peace. I wish I could take the pain away for you but no one can do that. Hugs, love, and prayers heading your way. -jo ann in Florida-


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## RainSong (Jun 30, 2006)

You know, I keep reading these things, and I keep praying that Nathan and I will have even HALF the bond you had with Michael (and Dan, too, I'm sure).

I believe you, too. It's no stranger then me feeling an earthquake 3k miles away that my best friend was in, when it happened.


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## Miniv (Jun 30, 2006)

hobbyhorse23 said:


> Visions are warnings. Seeing what is to come doesn't mean you can change what will happen, but it means you can change how you act up until that moment and maybe make a difference.
> 
> Leia



Leia,

I think you made a very wise statement........

MA


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## sedeh (Jun 30, 2006)

I believe you Marty. What a nightmare to have had to live with that vision. I think you handled it just right with letting Michael know just how loved he was and still is....


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## MInx (Jun 30, 2006)

*I believe you Marty. I'm an identical twin. When my twin gave birth in Georgia to her son in middle of night I was awake with terrible stomach cramps. Thought I had flu, awful pain. About 5am it stopped.*

Got a phone call in morning telling about the baby born at 5:15 am..

I was in California!

Maxine


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## luvmycritters (Jun 30, 2006)

[SIZE=10pt]I believe you Marty. I also believe that every thing happens for a reason - that sounds really lame I am sure - but I believe it to be true. Your Michael has touched many more then those that new him or - were at his funeral...Take care of you and thank you for sharing.[/SIZE]

Lori


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## MeadowRidge Farm (Jun 30, 2006)

Marty, I dont think anyone of us on this forum would doubt you for a minute. You were extreamly clost to your boys and that is what made you the loving and caring mother that you are. I do believe we all have "visions". Corinne


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## minijoyj (Jun 30, 2006)

I diffently believe you Marty. Many years ago I had a dream about going to my husbands brother's funeral & about 3 months later, I relived his funeral to the tee. He had shot himself, but I did not dream that part, just the funeral. It seemed so real at the time I was afraid to tell anyone. So, I do believe things like this can happen.


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## Feather1414 (Jun 30, 2006)

Marty, you may or not read this, and heck, even if you do read this I don't expect you to actually believe me, but I am going to post it anyways.

There was something about it, I don't know, I just knew something bad was going to happen. I waited around for a reply, hoping that what I was feeling wasn't true.

Later that night, I got on the forum again and I saw a posting saying Michael was in an accident. Somehow I just knew that it was bad. I went to bed thinking about ways I could cheer him up in the hospital. I was going to decorate a pair of socks, and label them Michael's Sexy Sox... we had this joke going about the one's I woke up from surgery with. They were going to be white and pink, because I thought that he should have girly socks. I think I still may send you some.

Marty, I hope you got my letter. I know it wasn't very long, but it was at the time what was going through my mind. I am so incredibly sorry for the loss of Michael. He was such a sweet person. I was actually planning on calling him up and talking to him in person. Do you remeber when you said that him and I should have gone to prom together? I thought that was very nice, and then I did want to come out and visit. It wouldn't be prom, but I would have been able to meet my friend.

He had a love for Captain Ron like I have never seen. I thought I was the only one that really liked that movie, and I had asked him to reccomend a movie. We talked about Captain Ron, and turns out that day he watched it because he hadn't seen it in a while. At least he got to watch it before he was gone.

I am going to e-mail you the messages I got from Michael. It's not too many, but I just thougt you would like to have them.


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## CyndiM (Jun 30, 2006)

Marty,

I can't imagine anyone doubting you about this. And Leia is so right about what a vision is, IMO.


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## Feather1414 (Jun 30, 2006)

Sorry Marty


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## bobby dazzler (Jul 1, 2006)

Hi Marty

I believe you with all my heart. Your visions allowed you to make peace with your son - which many people do not get to do b4 somebody is taken away from them. I know this is in no way a consolation for what you have lost but maybe this is why you had the vision - to enable you to have those heart warming final chats with Michael. You and your family have been in my thoughts since the day of this tragedy and as time goes by, although it may not be discussed as often - neither Michael nor your family will not be forgotten. From all your posts, you sound like a great mum and I am sure that Michael was genuine when he said that "you rock". As you can probably tell from the feedback from the forum, we all think you rock too. Thoughts always, Kerrie


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## Marty (Jul 1, 2006)

Hold on, I have a pic to show you Jamie


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## Roxane Martin (Jul 2, 2006)

Marty--

I've been "writing" several letters to you and your family ever since I got back from vacation and saw the terrible news on the forum. I will yet write them and send them to you--they are in a way my prayers for you and your family.

With your artist's soul you were granted a gift, although I'm sure you didn't think it was that. Because of those visions (and you are too honest of a person to make that up--I believe you for sure), you and Michael had talks and shared experiences that may not have happened otherwise.

How often we don't say what we think or feel because we think that there will always be "tomorrow". Since you were fearful of no tomorrow's, you said what you needed to say at the time. You could have chosen to ignore them, but you didn't and I'm sure you are glad and have some measure of peace in knowing that your connection was solid. It was solid in this world, and it is solid while you both are in different worlds, with different tasks to complete, and it will be solid in the next, when you are all joined back together.

Have faith Marty--God will hold you up each step of the way--and we in the forum will help be His arms in that upholding love.

Roxane


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## Marion (Jul 3, 2006)

I am glad that you got to talk to Michael and settle some issues between you. Maybe the visions helped the two of you say in a day what the rest of us put off in a lifetime.


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## MyBarakah (Jul 3, 2006)

Hi Marty,

I know what you say is very true! My best freind, my horse Danny, who I had gotten on my 12th birthday as a yearling, was stolen from me, my first semester in college down in Oklahoma. That was back in April of '92. Will NEVER forget that either! My mom did NOT want me to take him back down there to college.. we got in a huge fight over it. After he was stolen, she said she knew something telling her not for me to take him, and she should of listened. He was my best friend in the whole world! I had a really tuff time growing up and he was the only thing that kept me centered! I had dreams of him threw out highschool of him being stolen... but only years later would that ever happen..... I did not see him as a horse... He was bigger than life to me than any person was...... I was devestated.... it ruiened my grades that semester along with a huge whole in my heart....... which will never go away......

I've never been able to be that close to another horse as Danny...... he was the first horse I ever owned, trained showed and won first places on...... And my best friend who knew how to give great "Bear Huges"... I sure miss that! lol!

But I think if we all "listen" closely..... our inner senses and gutt feelings & intuition try to tell us something good or bad! Just knowing when to listen to it..............

Life is soooo hard to deal with at times...... I guess that's what makes life "life"......... huh?

Marty you are such a good person!


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## nicole (Jul 3, 2006)

I believe you Mart!! No doubt here.

I had a similar thing happen to me, my friend past away June 12. I was not close to his family anymore so was not sure how I would have closer. I had a really weird dream about him sitting in a chair at an old fast food place we used to hang out at. I walked up to him and gave him hug and kiss.

Next thing I am in my at my car, he then drives off. Is that my closer, mind you I do feel better?

So I do believe that these things can happen.


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## irishmini (Jul 5, 2006)

hello

i have just read the origional posts and skipped straight passed all the replies, as i just had to quickly write down my feelings..... reading your "story" has brought me close to tears..... you sound like a remarkable woman!!!. it goes to show the strength of a mother and child bond.

i think one should always pay attention to " visions" and strong feelings,

lots of love to you and your family.


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## lyn_j (Jul 5, 2006)

[SIZE=14pt]I believe you too Marty.... you are somewhat of an intuitive...... I think maybe God was trying to prepare you a little before it happened.[/SIZE]

I think of you often..

Lyn


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## shane (Jul 6, 2006)

something similar happened to me, so i have no doubt at all what you've said x


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## luvmymini2 (Jul 7, 2006)

: Oh Marty ,I'm so glad Michael and you had your special time together,I guess God knew there were things that needed to be said..and a lot love to be given....I too believe you ,I have never met you ,but knowing you through the forum I know you are an honest and truthful person....yes there is a special connection between mothers and sons....

I think of You,Jerry, and Dan often and I keep you all in my prayers...be strong Marty, and God Bless your family....


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## RobinRTrueJoy (Jul 18, 2006)

I totally believe you Marty.


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## MiniHGal (Jul 19, 2006)

I send my love and sorrows to you, Marty, and Jerry and Dan.



: I was gone for a while and hadn't seen your posts about Michael.....I can't imagine the hole it has left in your lives--but it sounds like Michael lives on through your family's efforts to clean up the mountain.

No matter what anyone else thinks, it is your feelings that must guide you--if it has connections and meanings for you, then it is true for you. Personally, I do believe there was something odd affecting you, a premonition perhaps, or something else....somehow, you knew.

I am glad you had so much time with him in the last week he was physically here. That showed him your love quite clearly and you 'ended on a good note'. He was happy.

Hugs to you, Jerry, and Dan. I hope Dan is feeling better--the loss of a sibling is a terrible thing.


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## Cronewolf (Jul 19, 2006)

Of course I belive you I'm surronded by folks who have visions all the time. Not a fun thing but it gave you the time to make amends.


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