# Online Dating Services



## lvponies (Apr 10, 2008)

Living on a farm and working from home doesn't give me much opportunity to meet many people. My daughter says my only chance to meet men is at Walmart!!! Did they add a lonely hearts section??






Anyway....not looking for love or a long term relationship at this point, would really just like to meet some new people and go out once in awhile to have some fun. Eharmony rejected me because I put my status as "separated". That designation sent me to a marriage support page. Well....no fixing my marriage as Allen & his g-friend have rented a place and moved in together. Our marriage is kaput and I'm really ok with that. So...signed up for match.com. Anyone else ever do that or sign up with any online dating services? What were your experiences? Did you meet some nice people or were they all just creeps just looking for a "good time"?? So far, I've been receiving emails and "winks" from men around the country. Why would men in TX, AL, IN, IL, etc show interest in me who lives in WV??? Weird!!!

So please let me know your thoughts and experiences both good and bad.

Thanks!!


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## Matt73 (Apr 10, 2008)

Yep, I met my man of almost 5 years now -sheesh time goes fast- online. I used LavaLife -not sure if they have it in the States-. It had everything: "Just Looking for Fun", "Coffee", "Long Term" etc... Kev and I talked for months before even meeting -partly because I was in Toronto and he was three hours southwest-. It was nice to be in control and decide when to meet and how fast or slow to take things -as opposed to meeting in a bar-. Now I did have some of those "Just for Fun" dates too. And I met some cool people -and not so cool people-. I never really met anyone too weird or scary becasue I really took my time and got a sense of what they were like beforehand. Then I met the most caring, sweet, loving man in the world. Lucky me


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## A Yankee In NC (Apr 10, 2008)

I met and married my husband after meeting on an internet dating site! We married aftre only a few weeks of meeting and have been married for 2 years (March 14th)





I was single (unmarried) for almost 20 years....had 3 long term relationships during that time with no prospects for marriage in sight.

Anyway, I was working at a Vet in a small town and really had no chances of meeting a man....

In fact...my gay male co-worker and I decided that we would get "married" to each other since we were so desperately single! LOL

I started internet dating during a breakup (one of many) with my last BF. I dated via the internet for almost 4 years. I met some really great guys...one actually became a good friend even tho we hadn't the electricity for a loveship...

I met some very boring men.

I met some men that were only in it for new sex.

I was very careful about who I dated and googled everyone!

You have to trust your womanly instincts and never date anyone who makes you think twice.

I have been a member of match.com, yahoo singles, blackpeoplemeet.com ( I love black men!lol



)and many others.

Once my sons were grown and gone I decided that I would spread my area of possiblilties along the Eastern coast.

I met my husband on blackpeoplemeet.com.

He is a very good man.... good enough for me to move from CT to NC and leave my family and friends! I feel very fortunate that we were brought together by the internet!

While we have had our ups and downs because of the short dating time...we are very happy and making a nice life together.

Go ahead and try it! Be safe...and use your head when dating. There are so many men out there to choose from you can be very picky!

Good Luck!


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## lvponies (Apr 10, 2008)

I was with Allen for 19 years and with a man before him for 7 years. I have been totally monogamous, faithful and loyal to 2 men for 26 years. This means that I haven't dated, flirted or otherwise been with another man for 26 years!!! That's a really, really long time and I am scared out of my mind!!! It almost seems easier/safer to just crawl back in my cave and stay there until I'm dragged out kicking & screaming!!! But.....my daughters are both teenagers and have their own lives now and don't want to be mom's friend and they shouldn't be. I just want to have a little fun and see what's out there. If it's too overwhelming and scary, my cave is still waiting for me to move back in!! I guess I will just have to take it as it goes and see what happens!! Wish me luck!!


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## Sonya (Apr 10, 2008)

My sister has used internet dating sites and has had a couple relationships that didn't last very long. She is it one now that has been lasting...9 months and she says they're going strong. She would not respond to people who were not within driving distance of her. She figured like you...why would someone want to talk/meet who is 500 miles away???

A guy I work with has met a few online, I don't know what site and he's very private about it so I don't know how it's going for him.

Our friend, who is 30, uses myspace as his dating site...I admit he has met alot of girls on there who he's dated, none ever turned into anything serious though.

Good luck...no one deserves to be alone...you'll meet someone, just take your time, it will happen when you least expect it.


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## Elsa (Apr 10, 2008)

i think if you're smart about it, the internet can be a great tool for meeting people.

I met one man online from Chicago who is now one of my best friends. Through Myspace I began talking to a girl that I was acquaintances with, she has now become my closest friend. I haven't used it for dating purposes, but in a sense, I believe that talking online lets you get to know the person better than going on awkward first dates because it's not so physical-oriented and you can establish a mental connection first. Just be wary of a perceived sense of closeness as can often happen with the internet. I would think you could also weed out the creepers if you talk long enough before actually meeting





Also, I wouldn't let distance be a factor. If nothing romantic comes from it, you can get a great friendship out of it.

Best of luck to you and your search!


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## backwoodsnanny (Apr 10, 2008)

Kim

First piece of advise be careful 2nd go have fun. I have a friend who is divorced 61 years old who has dabbled with online dating off and on for about 3 years and though she hasnt found a new lasting relationship she has been on some fun "dates" and has met some interesting people some great some not so great. She has never brought one home to her house and never gives out her real address for safety reasons but has had some fun so go for it and good luck.


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## SHANA (Apr 10, 2008)

farmersonly.com is where I met Terry, my husband. We met in January and were married in August. It will be 2 years this August and we get along just as much as we did when we first met. I gave him his own arabian horse as a wedding present.


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## Basketmiss (Apr 10, 2008)

Kim, I was wondering how you were doing with Allen gone??

Sounds like you do need to have some fun dates, no pressure..

Good Luck...


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## lvponies (Apr 10, 2008)

Basketmiss - Thanks for asking!! I'm doing pretty well!! I've come to terms with it all and am glad he's gone. Think I will really be better off in the long run without him. I absolutely deserve better and if better isn't out there for me, I would prefer to be alone then in a marriage where I wasn't loved and our daughters weren't loved and treasured. We should have done this years ago instead of getting & staying "comfortable".

He and his girlfriend rented a house and moved in together last week. Guess they are "happy"!!


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## Reignmaker Miniatures (Apr 10, 2008)

lvponies I followed your story before I registered here and I just want to say I am so impressed with how you handled yourself. You showed pure class and I hope if I ever have to go through anything similar that I can deal with it with your grace. You deserve MUCH better than what you have been given and I applaude you.


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## Mom2Cami (Apr 11, 2008)

Kim..it is so good to hear from you..I"ve had you on my mind alot.

As for the online dating..Go for it!!!! Even if you don't meet the love of your life you could meet and make some very good friends.


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## Just Us N Texas (Apr 13, 2008)

Kim, is there a Parents Without Partners chapter close to you? All members are either divorced or widows/widowers. All members are "screened", so you don't have a bunch of perverts, or married people to join just to find women/men for a fling. It is not a dating service, it is a place where people in your same circumstances get together. It is a very good place to get to know other people, and meet in a neutral place so you can get your confidence back! After my late husband passed away, I felt I needed to get out and meet more people and not worry about dating, or being the third wheel with our married friends. This organization is government approved. It also works for worthy causes. Each club decides what organization it will sponsor each month. A fundraiser is then held, (our club in Ky. had two dances per month), and the money is donated to that organization. Next month could be the same organization, or a different one. Our club had Happy Hour on Wednesdays where any one that were members could meet in a restaurant for a couple of hours, have coffee, eat, whatever, but you got to know the other members. We had a club meeting once a month. If you get interested in the club, it could keep you busy 2-3 nights per week working on the different fund raisers, giving lectures on helping in the community, and just lots of fun things. At each of our dances, we held a separate raffle, called half and half, and half the money collected went to the winning ticket holder, and half of it went to the kid's fund. That money was set aside to take the younger children of the club to skating parties, pizza parties, museums, and etc. When the activity was decided on, the raffle money was saved until there was enough to pay for all the member's younger children to go for free. It is a great place to meet new people who are in the same or similar situations as you, allows you to talk and form great lifetime friendships, and learn how others are coping and how they coped with problems such as yours. You may meet that special someone there, and at the same time, you are having a great time and giving back to your community. I went without any intentions of finding a partner, just to get out and have a good time, and I met Jerry. He wasn't looking either, as he had just lost his fiancee to cancer a few months previously. We seemed to gravitate toward each other and the rest is history!

If you don't know of a chapter, look it up on the 'net, and it will tell you where the nearest one is to you!


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## shadowsmystictopaz (Apr 13, 2008)

I would try mate1.com its free for the girls but the boys have to pay BOOHOO.


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## maplegum (Apr 14, 2008)

Don't let distance stop you!

I met my husband back in January 2000 in an online chat room. We chatted online for 12 months before I decided to take a chance and visit him in Canada ( I live In Australia). It was the bravest thing I have ever done in my life, but I needed to take some chances in my 'safe and sheltered' world.

3 years later and after lots of visits between Canada and Australia, my man made the move to Australia. We have a wonderful, happy life.

I just tell everyone that "I import my men".

So, I say go for it! You won't know until you try. There is a world of wonderful experiences just waiting for you.....

xox Leonie xox


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## FoRebel (Apr 14, 2008)

I met my husband on Yahoo! personals. That was 3 years ago, we moved in together after a month of dating, married last May... I have a son from a previous marriage, and we just had another son in November! He's wonderful and considers my first son HIS! Hubby is even excited since my ex-husband said he didn't care if we changed my first son's last name to hubby's last name! Point is, there are wonderful men out there if you look, just be careful, meet in public, talk on cell phones or instant messengers... HAVE FUN!


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## MyBarakah (Apr 14, 2008)

Hi!

Well..... I've been divorced now for just about 3 years and lived where I live now for almost 4..... And I have "yet" to meet anyone that I would want to be seriously involved with..... Just hopeing "someday" I will meet Mr.Right......

I've tried LOTS of different singles site...... I've had the best luck of getting to know others from MySpace.. but I was on the Equestrian Singles deal since I've been divorced and had NO LUCK! Everyone lives SO far away and I just don't have time or faith in a LONG distance relationship! There's also Equestrianmatch.com.

I'm TIRED of paying the fees to be on a on-line dating site....... NO MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I wish there were some "decent" good guys that were single that were into the mini horses..... but most that look/seem single are gay.... (no offense)....... but why are the GOOD LOOKING guys GAY!...... loL!



Nothing against them....... but would LOVE to find a guy I was physically attracted to and LOVED & wanted to get into the minis! loL! I think that's some where WAY over that rainbow........ loL!

I guess I'm so BEASY with working full time, the kids, trying to play catch up with house & barn chores and this time of year is NUTTS with kid's activities (soccer & baseball) and then foaling and the show horses..... I'm TOO tired and also VERY content with life!!

I also believe in "FATE"......... and think I'll bump into it when it happens..... and just have this feeling it's NOT to happen over the internet......

But the internet is a GREAT tool for meeting people especially where I rarely EVER go out or anywhere except to horse functions/shows.........

Best of Luck in finding Mr.Right..... And my advice would be TAKE YOUR TIME!!!!!!!!!!! I consider my divorce a 2nd chance at life....... and I DANG sure DO NOT want to ever go down the same road with the WRONG person! So I'm REALLY picky! I like being in control of my own life and NOT to answer to ANYONE!!!!!!








Ok....... back to work for me!!


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## Ashley (Apr 14, 2008)

Yep been with mine almost 2 years now. Got married in Nov.


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## lvponies (Apr 14, 2008)

Well....update on online dating....have rcvd some contacts from a couple of wackos. One guy's profile said he was 31 years old, but looking for an older woman. He contacted me....I'll be 48 at the end of this month. Asked him why he was interested in older women and he just ran away. Think he's looking for a "mommy"?? Ewwww!! Already have 2 teenaged daughters and am NOT looking for anymore children especially the man variety!!

Am talking to a nice man I met through eharmony. He's not gorgeous, but his personality just shines. Funny, witty and smart. My brain has to be engaged before I can be attracted to anyone regardless of how gorgeous or hunky they are. If there's nothing upstairs, I'm not interested. I'm really enjoying talking to him. We will be switching from eharmony's email system to IM tonight, so will see how it goes. Really hope we get to meet.

Talking to another man via IM that contacted me through Yahoo Personals. Turns out that he lives around the corner from me. He wants to take me for a ride on his Harley!! Also wants to take me dancing. Now...I'm not, nor have I ever been a Miss Grace and don't know how to dance, so we'll have to see how that goes!!



May be meeting him this week. What does one wear to go country dancing anyway?? He said something about country swing dancing. What exactly is that and am I going to break anything if I try it??





It's all kind of exciting. My heart rate is up and I'm really looking forward to getting out there and having some fun. Plenty of butterfiles doing flip flops in my belly though!!! Yep....I'm a nervous, scared to death, haven't dated for 26 years idiot!!! Deep breaths!!!


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## minie812 (Apr 14, 2008)

GOOD FOR YOU...mmmmm just don't break anything


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## Basketmiss (Apr 14, 2008)

lvponies said:


> Well....update on online dating....have rcvd some contacts from a couple of wackos. One guy's profile said he was 31 years old, but looking for an older woman. He contacted me....I'll be 48 at the end of this month. Asked him why he was interested in older women and he just ran away. Think he's looking for a "mommy"?? Ewwww!! Already have 2 teenaged daughters and am NOT looking for anymore children especially the man variety!!
> 
> Am talking to a nice man I met through eharmony. He's not gorgeous, but his personality just shines. Funny, witty and smart. My brain has to be engaged before I can be attracted to anyone regardless of how gorgeous or hunky they are. If there's nothing upstairs, I'm not interested. I'm really enjoying talking to him. We will be switching from eharmony's email system to IM tonight, so will see how it goes. Really hope we get to meet.
> 
> ...


That is great Kim!! I am glad you have a couple guys you are talking with. The one right by you sounds nice, sounds like he wants to spoil you and you could use some spoiling!! Let us know how these go...


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## lvponies (Apr 15, 2008)

Further updates..........

Going out on my very first date in 26 years tonight!!! I am so scared, yet so excited that I feel like I will bust!!! Talked to the guy via IM for a long time last night and mentally, we just click!! Have I told you about him? He's a musician who plays the bag pipes (yes..kilt and all!!), dulcimer, fife, etc. Tons of personality and so smart. We're meeting for dinner at Applebees tonight at 6:00. As nervous as I am....I will be totally exhausted by then!!! I am so looking forward to it and hope we click in person too!! Did see him on his web cam last night.....really cute smile, long hair. Totally different then the straight laced guys I dated in the far, far past!! Just love his personality!!



So different from Allen's flat line personality.





Please think of me tonight and hope I don't get so nervous and worked up that I totally blow it!!!


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## Laura (Apr 15, 2008)

[SIZE=12pt]OK-first of all I want a date update~LOL Second-Steve and I met through E-harmony. I had been on Match.com for TWO YEARS and ZIPPO! I went on E-harmony and Steve was the second match they sent me



He had met and dated someone (a whacko it turned out) on there the year before so it's certainly not foolproof. We e-mailed the first time on Jan. 31 2005-had our first date Feb. 26 2005-were married Dec. 31 2005-and had Zac October 20 2006!!



Mom has also had great success on Americansingles.com and has met some great men



Sorry for the typing. My comma key and enter bar are not working since we got hit by lightening![/SIZE]


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## Basketmiss (Apr 15, 2008)

Good Luck tonight Kim!!

You will be fine, just relax and be yourself, have some nice dinner and conversation and go with the flow...

I cant wait to hear how it went for you..

Missy


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## Sun Runner Stables (Apr 15, 2008)

I had tried it before, and asides weeding though alot of, well, odd humans, did find a decent guy.

We broke up almost a year later due to stress issues on both ends- but it was someone who almost lived next Door to me, and I had just never seen.





I have since started dating a friend who I have known for years, and just never realized how wonderful he is. (And we always were 'off' when the other was on, and as both of us had been serial monogamists, there was just never a right time till now!) We had always shared all our online stories, as we both work crazy hours. It's almost been 6 months now, and the brat is already talking about a fall wedding next year! I am rather cautious, but he is amazing, and is moving in with me next month.





Good luck on your date!!!


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## KanoasDestiny (Apr 17, 2008)

It's been a couple days....how'd the date go? We want details!!!


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## lvponies (Apr 17, 2008)

Sorry guys!!! This talking to all hours at night has me totally exhausted!!

I can't begin to tell you how nervous I was!!! I was really, really proud of myself that I didn't totally chicken out!!! Anyway...........date was really nice. Tim is a really nice guy and a gentleman. Never really been on a blind date before so don't have anything to compare mine to. It wasn't at all awkward and the conversation was easy all throughout dinner. I can't tell you how nice it was to go out with an adult, sit down to a nice dinner and talk. Normally when I go anywhere, I have my 2 daughters with me. I really enjoyed it very much!!!

Tim and I have been talking via IM and the phone til late at night since then. Thus, my exhaustion!!! We will be going out again soon. I feel that he and I "click" and would like to explore that some more. Unfortunately, he is going away this weekend, so probably won't see him again until next week.

It was great and I'm really loving having a man pay attention to me!!! It's amazing what that does to lift your spirits after not getting any attention for years & years!!! Yes, I will be taking it slow, but so far have received no indication at all that he's looking for something "improper" with me. Just wants to get to know me better and see where things go. Oh......he calls ME a hottie!! ME!!! OMG!! Told him he needs to get his eyes checked!!!

So....for my very first date in 26 years and my very first online dating experience.......it was wonderful and I even if things don't work out between us, I know I have found a friend!!!


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## Laura (Apr 17, 2008)

[SIZE=12pt]Kim,[/SIZE]

That is AWESOME!!! Take it slow (yeah, I know I should talk~LOL) and have FUN!!!


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## KanoasDestiny (Apr 17, 2008)

Yep, I agree! Take it slow and enjoy yourself!


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## backwoodsnanny (Apr 17, 2008)

Kim that is so great you deserve to have some pampering Good for you!!!!!!!


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## Matt73 (Apr 17, 2008)

Good for you. Just keep an open mind and go slow....


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## Neil (Apr 17, 2008)

lvponies said:


> Sorry guys!!! This talking to all hours at night has me totally exhausted!!
> 
> [...]
> 
> So....for my very first date in 26 years and my very first online dating experience.......it was wonderful and I even if things don't work out between us, I know I have found a friend!!!


Did I miss the posting where your divorce had been filed and was final?


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## lvponies (Apr 17, 2008)

No the divorce isn't final, but hubby is happily living with his new girlfriend. My girls are teenagers and don't want to spend time with mom unless I'm taking them shopping!! I work from home and live on a farm and have no opportunities to meet anyone. Just wanted to meet some people and have a little fun after 19 years of boredom. And I met a nice man who is interesting, has a great personality and is fun. I am enjoying myself for the first time in years!!!


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## Mom2Cami (Apr 18, 2008)

Good for you Kim..I'm glad things went well.


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## Basketmiss (Apr 18, 2008)

That is wonderful Kim!!

I am glad you had a good date, and there is no harm in enjoying yourself and being treated well by a man... You deserve it!!

You remind me of when I was younger and had a new guy, We would stay up late talking on the phone ( no IM then) ... Its a nice feeling...

Now my husband just calls me alot each day and says he just wants to hear my voice!! He is so sweet!!

His name is Tim too! Maybe this is a good omen for you and your Tim!!

No pressure, if it feels right thats great and if no love feelings become there, you can never have too many friends!!

Keep us posted. I am so excited for you!

Missy


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## Jill (Apr 18, 2008)

Way to go, Kim


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## shadowsmystictopaz (Apr 19, 2008)

any updated on you and your guy. I have been thinking about you so i hope things are okay. Love you.


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## jmejemima (Apr 25, 2008)

UpDATES?????


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## lvponies (Apr 27, 2008)

Sorry for the lack of updates!!! Tim & I are still seeing each other. It's been 2 weeks now. Guys........I think I totally Lucked out in finding him.



He is a wonderful man, very smart and funny....tons of personality, very sweet too! It truly seems like we've known each other for alot longer then 2 weeks. He's cooked us dinner (totally scrumptious!!), taken the girls and I to a rugby match where he played the bag pipes, taken my daughter and I out for our first time eating sushi (it was ok...don't know that I'd eat it again though). He's talking about us going rock climbing (I am so scared of heights!), white water rafting & kayaking. He loves going antiquing and we went to a place yesterday and poked around. He's attentive to my daughters and teases them and they really like him. He's come over a few times and played cards with the girls, their friends and I. He is just a wonderful person!!!

And you know what??? He likes me too!! I've never, ever received as much attention as he gives me. It's like.......WOW!!!! Somebody actually likes me and wants to do things with me. I just cannot tell you how happy I've been over the last couple of weeks!! Tired too though, not used to this much activity in my boring old life!!!! I am having soooooooo much FUN!!!!

So.......I guess I truly believe now that things happen for a reason. I'm glad Allen & I split up. I guess the 2 of us were "comfortable" together, but there wasn't any happiness or love there. I'm happy for the first time in many, many years. I can really see the difference between the old & new. It's like night & day!! And........I truly prefer the daylight!!!


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## maplegum (Apr 27, 2008)

How wonderful.





It makes you feel great hey!?


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## shadowsmystictopaz (Apr 28, 2008)

i am so happy for you. Keep the updates coming.


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## Laura (Apr 28, 2008)

That's awesome Kim!!!


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## HGFarm (Apr 28, 2008)

Just read this post- how awesome!!!

Bagpipes and a kilt- oh Lass, see if ye can find me on of them!!!

Isn't it odd that you THINK things in a marriage or relationship are ok, until something else happens to make realize just how miserable and unhappy you really were- way worse than what you had thought.

I went out with an 'on line' date once---- not only did the guy look like he could have been my X's cousin, but after assuring me he was not a drinker an alcoholic (had already left one of those) his place had 3 55 gallon drums next to the garbage FILLED with nothing BUT beer cans... and the guy was just looking for some new meat. Couldnt get out of there fast enough- the guy was a creep and his girlfriend was just away on TRAVEL and was still living there!!!!! I found that out a short time later!

Never tried the on line thing again.. guess I am just a chicken.

Have fun and fill us in when you get 'time' now, LOL


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## lvponies (Apr 28, 2008)

One more quick update.......Today's my b-day and he's coming over to make us dinner tonight. He's doing the shopping himself and cooking himself. We're having Fettucine Alfredo with sauteed shrimp and mushrooms, a salad, bread and he's even bringing a cake!!! Sounds yummy and I can't wait for dinner!!!


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## Jill (Apr 28, 2008)

Kim,

I am so happy to read how things are going! You deserve this happiness











Hope you have a WONDERFUL and very special birthday!!!

Jill

PS my sister had a bag piper at her wedding, and it really joked me up -- so beautiful!


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