# A Matter of Opinion



## Jill (Nov 5, 2007)

A lot of posts lately have just really made me












There are a lot of people who use this message board that become insulted and offended when another poster has a different opinion, a different preference, etc. I just do not understand why some people can't recognize a situation as a difference in opinion vs. finding reason to be bent out of shape.

I know here and in actual real life, I will often get frustrated when someone has a different opinion than I do but has no understanding of fact. That is frustrating, but not offensive. What comes to mind that's easy to illustrate is years ago during the OJ trial, I got really annoyed with someone who kept insisting DNA didn't mean anything because a lot of people have the same DNA (obviously, confused about DNA and blood type???) and her mind was made up -- so don't confuse her with the facts. I understand being frustrated (even when both sides are informed) but what is up with so many people being insulted and offended by opinions stated by another.

Maybe I should just have a coke and a smile and (maybe you know the rest).............


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## iluvwalkers (Nov 5, 2007)

*[SIZE=12pt]Jill, that's why I sit on my hands a lot



. What's the saying...arguing with a fool only makes two...



Nikki[/SIZE]*


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## Miniv (Nov 5, 2007)

Jill,

I don't understand why people get so emotional either. I try to be a "duck" on the Forum.......If someone disagrees. Fine. Let it just roll of my back. And sometimes a person pops in with an angle or suggestion that I haven't thought of, so it's all worth it.

MA


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## StellaLenoir (Nov 5, 2007)

Jill, I could not agree more!

Opinions are great, makes the world an interesting place. I love reading all the different takes people have on things. How lucky we are that we can have a place to voice opinions, and ideas and learn from others.






I will give a thanks to all that post here, the opinionated, the knowledgable, and the helpfull, even the angry, it all comes together to make an intersting learning experience!


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## nootka (Nov 5, 2007)

I don't mind a bit when people have different opinions.

What bothers me is the staunch ignorance in spite of their horse's best interests. People who truly care about their horses and do right by them don't bother me, even when they go on practicing things that make me shake my head in wonder (such as breeding obvious dwarfs).

Another thing that bothers me is saying one thing and doing another. People that have some credibility in the industry that they basically bought and then spreading lies about what they're really doing (meanwhile leading well-intentioned people far astray and taking advantage of them) that bothers me.

For example, if I know a certain trainer and have seen them with MY OWN EYES doing things I know this owner would not want done with or to their horse, and then hear on here how that trainer is the be-all and end-all, that gets under my skin. What can you do, though?

Liz


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## misfitminis (Nov 5, 2007)

I think a lot of us have a tough time realizing how we sound when we are typing. I bet if folks met face to face that many many many conversations would be productive. Some have a hard time stressing their opinion without sounding rude, snotty, etc. I bet some don't realize they are doing it.


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## Jill (Nov 5, 2007)

It is all "interesting". So many aspects that what I said here could be applied -- to depending on who's got what on their mind at the time. Personally, what was on my mind is that there are a some people who are out to be offended when others simply give their opinions and talk about the choices they make and dare to be happy about. Cah-ray-zee!!!


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## Marty (Nov 5, 2007)

I'm passionate about certain subjects when they come up and I will not change my opinion on some things.

Other times when I read some posts that I think I will disagree with, I think "well they do have a good point there" and it makes me stop and think that there is more than one way to look at a subject other than my way, and then I consider that I could be wrong about it. Its a matter of keeping an open mind.

It is sometimes hard for me to convey what I am wanting to say through this keyboard and sometimes I don't come across the way intended so I have to go back and delete. Slinging insults at people's horses or being sarcastic or cruel, those are things I do not like.


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## RockRiverTiff (Nov 5, 2007)

Jill said:


> Personally, what was on my mind is that there are a some people who are out to be offended when others simply give their opinions and talk about the choices they make and dare to be happy about.


I am really offended by this Jill.



Sorry--couldn't help myself. I do wonder if we shouldn't have all forum members sign a disclaimer where they agree to respectfully accept differing opinions without interpreting them as attacks. Or perhaps we could turn some of the more heated debates into true popularity contests. We could put AMHA vs. AMHR, and 34" and under vs. 34" and over, and geldings vs. stallions, and small breeders vs. large breeders, and politics in showing vs. preparedness on the Chance auction, and you can make a small donation toward "your" side. The opinion that raises the most money is decreed the only true and correct opinion, and all the money goes to CMHR, so for once something productive comes of all this arguing.


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## MSRminis (Nov 5, 2007)

I have not been here too long-but it does not take that long to weed out some of the posters. The ones that consistantly are rude. For example...and sorry Marty but I am going to use you as an example. I love to read Martys posts, often with a good sense of humor, offers heartfelt advice, and always seems welcoming and not haughty. If I posted something and Marty flamed me-I would re read in and consider her point of view and if I did not agree-OK. But I know she is not a rude/malicious poster in general. Some we all know are just that way no matter what. I guess my point is .."consider the source".


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## Relic (Nov 5, 2007)

What really bothers me is the people who have posted in the past and then disappeared because of the flames they got for there OPINION when they expressed it. l also still to this day feel bad because l see Nathen is one who has never returned after the hassels he was put through time and time again...pity really for a student only learning and sharing...another thing that bothers me is the people who talk out of both sides of there mouths depending on which way the wind blows...other then that l can honestly say l've learned a few things along the way on here which is a good thing for me and the minis..


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## Buckskin gal (Nov 5, 2007)

I do feel there are a lot of different type personalities on this forum and that does need to be considered rather than judging them to be what "we" may not be.! No one is so perfect to the point of making judgements of another.....but it is done. JMHO


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## lvponies (Nov 5, 2007)

I love a good heated debate. Almost like how you can't help looking at a car crash! I get engrossed in everyone's opinions and tend to learn things along the way. I do have to say, that I do form opinions of folks based on how they word things and how they come across. I don't like reading those who always have a "holier than thou" attitude, but the good thing is that someone will come along and put them in their place. Just have to wait a few minutes and hit the refresh button a few times!!!



I love it here. Love all the varied opinions, the caring of the members when someone or some little horse is in need, the pictures of foals and show horses, the pride when one's horse does well, the flowers, the quilts and the puppies. As many have said before, we are a family and sometimes family members just don't get along so well. Doesn't mean that we wouldn't put the bickering aside and be there for each other if the need arose.


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## txminipinto (Nov 5, 2007)

I agree that there are posters out there who intend on being offended. I know couple "real life" people like that. It doesn't matter what you say or how you say it, you've just offended them. Then there are the posters who get offended if you don't agree with their opinion. But what really gets me is the posters who LUV THEIR LITTLE HORSIES SOOOO MUCH, yet won't listen to those of us who've had the experience and are warning them of impending disaster. The problem with loving them that much is that you end up harming them unintentionally. Either by not teaching them respect of humans so that they push you around or by not giving them the recommended prevative care they need because you don't want to "hurt" them.

If owning and caring for horses has taught me anything, its that sometimes being a friend means being tough for the good of the other. And in case that wasn't clear enough, just like children, sometimes you have to spank their little butts to make a point!








Of course, then you have horses like my stallion, Happy. He's that rebelling teenager that makes you spank him in public because he loves the reaction he gets. Wonderful horse at home, bratty kid in front of a judge!


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## Alex (Nov 5, 2007)

Just couldnt help but post here...

The majority of us read this forum to learn... how are we going to learn without the help of others and their opinions.IMO Al this forum is is a bunch of opinions; I agree some good and some bad. (not to get people fired up) There are a few poeple who seem to not care,or even aknowledge ones opinions. As I see it, if you dont like ones post or opinion you have two chocies, take it or leave it. We will all have our opinions and it is up to us if we want to express them.If we express them you have to consider that others will want to well you what they think etc. There is no need to get mad at what people have to say.

We ALL have diffrent view points and dont need bickering. We are a "family" and we dont need to get mad at each other.


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## runamuk (Nov 5, 2007)

Lets see, I have opinions



some are strong, others are very open to change. I enjoy a good debate OR discussion. Much of what I type here on this forum , I have actually discussed many times in person with other mini people and even if we didn't agree we discussed it and walked away with things to think about. I have changed my opinion on several issues over the years being on this forum. My opinion changed because wonderful people were open to talking something through, and then giving me ideas of where to get more info and study the issue for myself.

I have a very inquisitive nature, and should have been a researcher OH!



I cannot tell you how many times people have brought up some topic I am loosely familiar with and taken off on a weeklong research bender











I also am usually dense enough to not always notice if someone is flaming me....unless they really spell it out and direct it at me



and for the record the little "spats" on this forum are nothing compared to some of the dog groups......those places can turn into major biker bars









direct flames and attacks to be expected, entire breeding programs publicly questioned, not for the sensitive.


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## Buckskin gal (Nov 5, 2007)

Been doing some thinking about what you have said Jill. Isn't this getting frustrated or upset about what other peolple do, just a lack of control? I think we might ask ourselves what can "I do" to change rather than expect the other person to be different. Just as the person who gets upset with another persons opinion or preference, so can the person who gets upset with the person who gets upset with them...sort of a vicsous circle if we allow it. Instead of having the expectation for the other person to change, sometimes we need to change ourselves. Take the ones who became so upset with Nathan...they really acted as if he should change but did those same people ever stop to think that maybe it was their own attitude about him that needed changing? [who is so perfect that a little changing of themselves may change their problem with others] Just a thought about expectations of others. Mary



Jill said:


> A lot of posts lately have just really made me
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## Sonya (Nov 5, 2007)

I'll sum it up as simple as possible..I love all the differing opinions and views on this forum and I don't judge anyone based on a few threads...I don't mind alittle bickering and debate...but I DO HATE when people say hurtful, mean things to others, it's just not necessary. People can disagree without being nasty and hurtful to someone personally.


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## Carol Z (Nov 5, 2007)

Many of you won't know me. I'm one of those older members who was here from the early forum years. I don't post any more, not because i was driven out or got mad at anyone, but really just because I just don't have any more to say





In all the years I've been a member of this forum I've seen the cycles. There is a natural turn over it seems. All of you who are so incredibly passionate now will eventually move on and leave this to another new group of just as passionate folks. There are not so many who have stuck it out all these years, and I imagine there are more like me who read but don't respond any more.

My advice to y'all is to enjoy the opportunity to participate in this community that allows you to interact with like minded individuals, and try not to be hostile to each other. It's just the internet


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## Lucky-C-Acres-Minis (Nov 5, 2007)

Yes, we all have different views and opinions, and yes this wouldn't be a place of learning without the differences...

HOWEVER, there are a handful of posters on this forum who get downright nasty when you'e opinion/view is different from theirs and there are some who think they're 'always right' and what they say goes, it doesn't matter what others have done or seen if it differs from theres.. Am I perfect, nope (sure wish I was!) and yes I've been in my share of bickering and arguing but I have not ever put anyone down or belittled them in anyway.. I've seen WAY TO MANY times good, innocent people who are here to encourage, educate and learn, be put down left and right just because the other party had a difference in opinion.. I have become very good email buddies with one of these special persons and I can tell you she has A LOT of encouragment, support and knowledge to share, yet because she's been belittled and put down she doesn't post much, which is honestly very sad..



I myself have started posting less as I do not want to deal with the "you're wrong, I'm right" attitude of some of the posters and I tend to not read a lot of the posts on the forum, especially when they get heated because I have no desire to read the bickering, bickering isn't educational... I think what A LOT of people forget is when you point a finger at someone, three are pointing back at yourself..


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## AppyLover2 (Nov 5, 2007)

The constant bickering just gets very tiresome!


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## Reble (Nov 5, 2007)

Just Love, Luv, this forum. this is my life line and some will say I should go get a life.






Well, since my fall 3 years ago now, I cannot work outside my home, and sometimes my head and hand do not complete the task I want to say, some words are wrong and sometimes as some have said get a laugh out of what I do type .. that is OK, I try so hard not to take things personal, unless as many know some people face to face and for some reason just do not like each other. We feel they are out to get us. I do believe their is some on here are just like that.





That is fine in the real world put here is a family, I have seen this in the couple of the years I have been here.

We will argue, discuss, disagree and agree, but when someone is truly hurting and have had a loss we are there for them.

I do try to have an open mind and hope to learn, and enjoy my daily reading which is here on the forum.

If we do not like it, we have an off button.

The thing I do not like is see a topic go on and on and on and on. It does get boring, but I than go and get some house work done and come back and Ok found a new topic





My house really is not that clean any more.





I believe we all have something important to say, we just really need to listen before we speak


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## Jill (Nov 6, 2007)

Very interesting replies all around





I know that there are some people here who just "love" me and my opinions. They seem to wait for me to post something and then look to see if they can discover a reason to be insulted. Even quoting me and paraphrasing what they want to think I said but didn't



Their motivation is completely transparant to my eyes.

Last night, I was thinking how not that long ago, a lot of us listed the members we have met, and the ones we'd like to meet. I didn't list any of "these" s the ones I would like to meet... HOWEVER there are three or four ladies, I would really go out of my way to meet eye to eye. Good or bad, irritating or not, I am the same here and in person. I'd love to see if they are, too


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## Sun Runner Stables (Nov 6, 2007)

I really have to agree with those who say that the disagreements and different opinions are interesting. I only have one emotional hot topic, which I'm sure most of you know, but the rest I just find really quite entertaining. I've learned Alot on here, and stick around to learn more, as I am so far from achieving my goals.

I just let it all kinda soak in and try and weed out who's going to be more annoying, and I have to admit, when I get really irritated, I'll say as much



, as when horses are suffering, it just gnaws at me.


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## Buckskin gal (Nov 6, 2007)

Intersting perspective. Sounds like you think you are being picked on by some people...that is sad. Maybe you could talk to them in a private conversation and ask them what is up...maybe they really don't intend to pick on you but you are taking them differently then they intend. I think a lot of us get our words taken differently than we intend, now and then. I don't understand why anyone would deliberately wait for you to post something to find something to be insulted by. Doesn't make any sense.



Mary



Jill said:


> Very interesting replies all around
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## Jill (Nov 6, 2007)

Thanks, Mary. Don't feel sorry for me though



I'm fine. I just don't like when they say I've been hurtful or nasty when word for word quotes clearly show I wasn't.

The point I was hoping to make is that preferring something in a horse (oh, let's say generally liking them to be over 30" for my own herd) is not being nasty but stating opinion. Just like if I say I like purple better than blue, and Ford better than GM -- that's "just" a statement of opinion and not something anyone should be insulted over





With the ladies I'm aware of, they are not the types that are really worth trying to change. They're all internet buddies together and they're not going to like me because I like what I've got going on basically



And, I might say, I like what A LOT of us here have going on as well


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## Buckskin gal (Nov 6, 2007)

You know Jill, just maybe, that is the problem....you can't change someone else you can only change yourself. Maybe someone really is upset with how you say things. Saying someone "isn't worth changing" really says a lot about a person. [my opinion] Is it our job to try and change other people or is it our job to look at ourselves to see if changes need to be made?

I fully understand that people get taken the wrong way, many times on this forum...in fact I was shocked with the response that SLV gave when I asked a simple question of "who is who." Her mind took it that I was doing wrong, when I had no intentions of wrong when asking. I didn't realize that what I asked would be taken with such defensiviness and I feel badly that it was taken that way. Now, do I try and change her; I think not, but I do have the responsibility to myself to see it for what it was....an assumption on her part that I had bad intentions





Another thing was how quickly you came to her defense, as if I was trying to invade her privacy rather than seeing it as just being curious and wanting to meet this person via the forum. The point is, way too much can be read into what someone might say and this is sad. Simple truths can mean someone can lash out for no good reason and that is what is hurtful. JMHO Mary



Jill said:


> With the ladies I'm aware of, they are not the types that are really worth trying to change. They're all internet buddies together and they're not going to like me because I like what I've got going on basically
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> And, I might say, I like what A LOT of us here have going on as well


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## PaintedPromiseRanch (Nov 6, 2007)

iluvwalkers said:


> *[SIZE=12pt]Jill, that's why I sit on my hands a lot
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that's great Nik! i will have to remember that one...


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## Sonya (Nov 6, 2007)

> I just don't like when they say I've been hurtful or nasty when word for word quotes clearly show I wasn't.


What??? Jill I've never seen a nasty or hurtful word typed by you...NEVER!

There are a few on here who do tend to get nasty personally with others...Jill you are definately not one of them!


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## Jill (Nov 6, 2007)

Thank you, Sonya


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## hobbyhorse23 (Nov 6, 2007)

misfitminis said:


> I think a lot of us have a tough time realizing how we sound when we are typing. I bet if folks met face to face that many many many conversations would be productive. Some have a hard time stressing their opinion without sounding rude, snotty, etc. I bet some don't realize they are doing it.














Some of them know exactly what they're doing, don't care and say so pretty frequently ("I'm right, you aren't going to change my mind, deal with me!") but others may not think about alternate ways their words might come across or simply don't have the time to fuss over every single word and try to make it "_just_ right." It's hard and time consuming!



> They seem to wait for me to post something and then look to see if they can discover a reason to be insulted. Even quoting me and paraphrasing what they want to think I said but didn't. Their motivation is completely transparant to my eyes.


I'd love to say that this is a great example of what we mean by people thinking others are out to be rude or insulting, but sadly some of the recent threads have shown me that there really are some people who are just out to hurt people. I feel sort of sorry for them, actually. It must be hard being so narrow-minded! But at the same time I know (or think I do!) some of the people Jill is probably talking about and I know that they really, honestly, truly aren't out to get her. Yet at the same time I can see how they would come across that way and it makes me sad.

I've been misinterpreted as not liking some individuals in real life (not horse people) and been horribly taken aback as they were actually people I admired tremendously from afar and had no idea I was sending other signals. I beat myself up for weeks wondering what I had done. After a long time I finally realized that while undoubtedly some of the responsibility rested with me, some of it also was the responsibility of the other person for deciding that I must hate them. It took a long time to be okay with sharing that responsibility and realizing that if someone is determined to think that others don't like them there's not much I can do about it. I will still go out of my way to phrase myself carefully and try to avoid possible misunderstandings. It does still bother me; I cry when people vehemently dislike me even though I know not everyone will get along. That's just the way I am. I'm generally a likeable person and am not used to being rejected as stuck-up or rude or cold although I make mistakes (some of them major) and put my foot in my mouth



with some regularity. Not surprising when I open it so often! OH!



But in the end I usually did not mean it the way it was taken and am always surprised that some people seem to go out of their way to look for insult. Again, I DO NOT MEAN YOU, JILL! LOL

I've always been a glass-half-full kind of girl and I try to maintain that outlook when reading what others have written on boards like this. I go into it assuming that the person did not mean to offend or come across as rude. If they did and I'm giving them the benefit of the doubt, so what? I'm happier for my assumption and sometimes the person will even settle down a bit when they don't get the reaction they are looking for. And if they didn't, then I just saved some grief for both of us.

Be like MiniV. Be a duck.

Or if you can't be a duck, at least handcuff yourself and grit your teeth and stay silent! LOL Sometimes it's sooooo hard.





Leia


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## tagalong (Nov 6, 2007)

*All opinions matter, all opinions count*... and yet seeing people get jumped for stating their opinion - or seeing the complaint that some opinions are presented as fact - well, it is a bit frustrating. Unless links and credentials are provided - anything said on a message board is merely someone else's opinion/thought/concern.

Often the posts that complain about someone else's opinions or the "nasty" way they state them IMO are nastier in tone and substance than anything the original poster said.... if one has issues with a certain poster -one can always SCROLL.



Or let it roll off... *quack*

Slapping labels on people never helps... as no one fits into a specific "cookie cutter" all the time. Assigning "tone" where there may be none - and it may just be someone's style of writing... also does not help.

Sweeping generalizations are also not conducive to any discussion.

Another type of comment that I find a bit - well, ironic... is the odd post in a heated thread that assures us the forum is going down the tubes, that everyone is sooooo rrrrude, that none of the original members are still around (yes, we are!), that this is a nasty place and getting worse and so on...

This board is TAME. Very tame compared to a lot of message boards/forums out there - both horse related and not. The only time I have ever seen it get very messy - was a couple of years ago when a certain member was making merry by treating the place like their own personal bashfest. But that is in the past.

I also post on a couple of horse-themed boards where the heated threads would likely incinerate this forum... and yet after everyone has worked through it - all is well, all opinions have been stated, discussed, chewed up, applauded etc. And everyone moves on to the next topic.

Some of us like a debate/discussion - even when it gets a bit heated. If that is not to your particular liking - then there are other threads to take part in... there is something for everyone. And like any message board, there are the spotlight seekers, the My Way Or The Highway types, the jump on the bandwagon tyoes, the cynical, skeptical types (me?), the Happy All The Time types etc. etc. - and there is room for all of us.

And to clarify - this post was not written with any "tone". It was just... well, written.


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## Lucky-C-Acres-Minis (Nov 6, 2007)

I was done with this post until I saw ML had posted so stopped to read what she had said and of course then read all the other replies and must say I got quite the laugh... I find it funny how most of the posts say "every opinion counts" yet somehow (but not surprising



) my post about how I feel some posters on the forum can get rude and mean with their replies (MY OPINION) got turned into a "picking fest" on a specific poster, please point out on my reply where I stated WHO I felt was nasty/mean/rude...







> You know Jill, just maybe, that is the problem....you can't change someone else you can only change yourself. Maybe someone really is upset with how you say things. Saying someone "isn't worth changing" really says a lot about a person. [my opinion] Is it our job to try and change other people or is it our job to look at ourselves to see if changes need to be made?


Some of the most intelligent words spoken on this thread so far..


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## tagalong (Nov 6, 2007)

> I find it funny how most of the posts say "every opinion counts" yet somehow (but not surprising
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*Lucky C* - I am confused - where was anyone singling you out here?





In MY post - I was not referring to any posts in this thread or singling anyone out - but referring to what has happened numerous times in threads that get a bit heated. And then we have often seen posts bashing a poster directly that have been far ruder than the original post... JMO. It is the ever-squeaking hamster wheel that all of us have the abilty to stop...

The unofficial rule on most boards when it comes to posts you vehemently disagree with and want to respond to in kind (or worse) is... IGNORE. Or SCROLL. Or let it roll off. Disagree with the post and not the poster - do not make it personal. And/or compose a thougthful reply that you edit and re-edit and re-edit before you hit send... we all can work on that...


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## Jill (Nov 6, 2007)

Thanks everyone





This thread has been an interesting read for me to be sure.

Leia, I'd love to know who you think it is



I'm 100% sure the few ladies I have in mind do have an ax they would like to grind with (or on haha) me. There's just no doubt about it but I'd love for one of them to privately clue me in as to what I "did" out of real curiosity. However, I'd be hard pressed to pick a group of people that I think have less influence over what other people really think



SO, it cannot be but so bad.

I do so much agree with Tag. This is the only NICE message board I really know about. All the other ones have so much bickering. Here, there is a huge range of opinions and insight and let's face it -- none of us has just a mild interest in what we're discussing (miniature horses). We all care SO MUCH about the subject. It could get very nasty, but never really does. We seem to be able to disagree without being mean in almost every case I can remember going back over the years. The one real bad apple I remember from a long time ago is the kind of thing that just dwells on other message boards I've been to.


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## nootka (Nov 6, 2007)

This is quite interesting, because when I post about a certain topic (say dwarf producing breeders, or people who cheat and push the limits in regards to height and showing, or having oversized horses and lying about it) I use generalities and lump a bunch into one "example."

For example, I KNOW there was more than ONE horse at Worlds this year that was attempted to show in the wrong height category. In discussing the problem, I gave examples that covered a few different scenarios. In my mind, all of these were fairly equal as far as the problem, and it would be hard for me to pick out any one person I felt was most wrong except for those that went so far as to HURT their horses in order to get them smaller for whatever reason. Don't you know that one person contacted me all concerned that I was picking at THEIR horse. Not a chance. I don't even know that that one person had a horse that even showed at Worlds, yet they are hypersensitive and someone (I do know who it is now) felt the need to make some pointed effort to this other person that I was making "jibes" at their horse, when I was trying to point out a fairly general situation that I know has happened hundreds of times at all shows, not JUST Worlds.

I guess it even goes so far as to when there is no actual offense, someone likes to make one up. I chalk it up to wanting attention because as they say, "any publicity is better than none."





I am still here, and as far as I'm concerned, I am one of the original ones as I've been here since May of 1997, probably within a month of the Forum's beginning.

I've seen a lot, here, but I would say it is mostly for the good even when people try to take offense when it isn't meant.

Some people are fully convinced they are right and dont' want to change, but they DO want someone to challenge them so they can show off how right they are. That is fine, but don't be surprised when noone wants to play.

I could also say that we all have our achilles heel. We have something that is sensitive, sometimes with good reason, sometimes much of it is our own perception. It's interesting, though, when people take a finger raised in question and turn it around to point at themselves, then grow defensive to the point of calling others out to "come look."

Jill, I do believe at least one member of your fan club was pretty guilty when I went back and read the threads, I saw what must have prompted it, but again, I had no ONE event in mind, it was a combination of events and likely many that I've seen here at local shows (though certainly not on the level of what happened at Worlds this year or even in 2005. In 2005, people claimed a horse was killed...things get out of control, whether it is true or not)

Anyway, I am no expert and will NEVER know it all, so bring on the opinions, the observations and shared experiences. I love this Forum.

If I get upset, it is usually because of something that happened outside the Forum, not directly something that happened here, though I DO end up frustrated feeling because my point(s) were so blatantly misunderstood such as the generality of trying to say that all small minis = dwarf when I NEVER said that. I've said the opposite quite often.

Thanks, though, for a well-stated reality check.

Liz


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## Jill (Nov 6, 2007)

Liz, the combination of my own little fan club and seeing what went on on "that" thread prompted this post.


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## lvponies (Nov 6, 2007)

This is totally off topic, but I have a S-I-L that just stopped talking to me several years ago. No idea why, no idea what I did and really don't care. MAYBE (back on topic now!), it would be a good idea (or not) that if people have problems with certain posters, they should talk about it privately either through PM or email. As I never knew what I had done to tick off my S-I-L, people may not know what they did to tick you off. Maybe talking about it will clear the air?? Or maybe nobody really cares and are content to leave things as they are?? Don't know.


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## Charley (Nov 6, 2007)

Aww come on. We are all just human. Everything does not have to come back to "ME". Just live and learn and don't take things so personal...


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## Jill (Nov 6, 2007)

lvponies said:


> This is totally off topic, but I have a S-I-L that just stopped talking to me several years ago. No idea why, no idea what I did and really don't care. MAYBE (back on topic now!), it would be a good idea (or not) that if people have problems with certain posters, they should talk about it privately either through PM or email. As I never knew what I had done to tick off my S-I-L, people may not know what they did to tick you off. Maybe talking about it will clear the air?? Or maybe nobody really cares and are content to leave things as they are?? Don't know.












I actually DID pm three of the individuals 2 or 3 months ago when I noticed what was going on and just asked them to tell me what it was I did, which they all ignored.


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## nootka (Nov 6, 2007)

I responded to my private message with a couple of private messages (the first may have gotten lost as my internet connection dropped at a bad time) but have gotten no responses, plus the last times I've seen this person in "person" they ignored me anyway.

Not sure what prompted the PM other than a vague similarity to things that have happened around them or their friends/employees, but I'm done with it. I don't really care either way and for sure will avoid doing business with any of them based on the "one way" attitude, which has sort of been prevalent, anyway.

Communicating in private is a good way to talk about ANYTHING which is aimed at any one person. Anything else, well, I feel if it's spoken about in a generic manner, as long as it is still recognizable as a topic that affects us all (such as dwarfism, height issues, registration and changes thereof) is valid and "legal."

If someone asks something specific, I try to answer or point things out so that others can learn, but those are usually based on critiques and something I am very vocal about letting people know I am not the be all end all, merely trying to learn along with everyone else. If we stop sharing, we stop learning. That goes for opinions, too.

Liz


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## lvponies (Nov 6, 2007)

Well...you tried. That's all you can do!! Sometimes we just have to agree to disagree and let it go at that.


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## HGFarm (Nov 6, 2007)

I think a lot of it is that it is VERY difficult to really communicate via black words on a white background. There is no warmth, body language, tone of voice, etc... that would give true indication of how the person really means to come across.

I enjoy all the different opinions from everyone. I hope I have never hurt anyone's feelings here! There are many subjects that I feel strongly about, and some things I am adamant about, but I have learned from folks here too and MOST people have been quite helpful!!

For those I have not met, I have a picture in my own mind of what they might look like or how they are in person- Rabbits, Jill, Marty, Vertical Limit (we will catch up with each other someday, LOL) and MANY others.

I know that I myself have a very warped and sometimes dry sense of humor, that many people even in person, dont get. I have never been accused of being politically correct either- my brain just doesnt work that way- I just say what's on my mind.






I would suggest if someone gets their feelings hurt, rather than to get angry, contact the person off the group by PM or something and ask them to explain their comment before taking it a wrong way. So many times it is just a simple matter of miscommunication or understanding, or someone just does not come across in their writing like they would in person.

Not only that, if everyone thought the same and had the same ideas, etc... there would not be any need for this Forum then, would there?! Variety is the spice of life- enjoy each others differences and personalities!


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## Lisa-Ruff N Tuff Minis (Nov 6, 2007)

Mary Lou - LB said:


> Well things in this topic lost me several posts ago.. Guess I am slow today.. or all the multi-tasking I do daily in my brain finally got totally scrambled
> 
> 
> 
> Gosh I dislike getting old..



LOL ML I am with you have no idea who is talking about what anymore

this whole thing reminds me of the high school thread and of course my favorite song

High School never ends

in fact I may post it here... here it is... this song just really rings so true to me when related to life and of course the mini horse world

Here is the link a couple words that might not be best posted on here but all in all my theme song lately!

Bowling for Soup


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## Jill (Nov 7, 2007)

Interesting





I know what *I'm* talking about here, go figure



AND judging from a few of the members names that have been hovering in this thread, jeepers, my little clique of fans does, too


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## rabbitsfizz (Nov 7, 2007)

runamuk said:


> Lets see, I have opinions
> 
> 
> 
> ...


I think we must have been related in another life!!!

As soon as someone raises a point I am not sure of- out comes the Google button!!

I do not mind doing the research for others, even though I do sometimes wonder why they do not do it themselves- as I just love it- and if I am interested in something I soak it up.

At one time I could have told you the pedigrees of all the top Arabs in the WORLD- I kid you not!!

I am pretty good on Mini pedigrees too but Studbook online helps a great deal





If you do not debate how can you learn.???

Sometimes some people, and, believe it or not I am NOT one of them, just _intend_ to make an argument out of things no matter how you couch them.

I have to say that Americans are an awful lot touchier and sensitive than Europeans- most of what you seem to find offensive would not even touch the surface of a French person, for example.

This has caused problems!!!

I tend to just say things as they come- as I see them.

Yes, I do get miffed when people with no experience at all contradict me - there are only a handful, maybe two people I would contradict outright on here or any other Forum for that matter, you can disagree without contradicting.

There are a lot , and I do mean LOT of threads I do not even bother responding to now- I look at the title and I think "is it worth it??" Yet another person asking (for example) how to worm their horse and there is a whole thread on it in "Best of..." but if you point that out you will be accused of being rude and if you give them an answer you will be contradicted on yet ANOTHER person determined to "rotate" - so what is the point???

Apart form that there are loads and loads of sometime and oft-time posters I know I would like, and do respect, without the need to agree with everything they say- the test of a friendship is to easily survive differences of opinion, after all.

The one thing that does bother me, and does upset me, is when someone takes against me on a personal level- after all very few of us really know each other- and follows me around just disagreeing for the sake of it- that has happened on a couple of occasions.

I will say it is less bothersome on the Internet than it is in real life- I wish real people came with and ignore" button!!


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## AppyLover2 (Nov 7, 2007)

> I wish real people came with and ignore" button!!


ROFL!!


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## kaykay (Nov 7, 2007)

Lisa we are so like minded because the first thing I thought reading this was wow we are back in high school all over again! I got such a giggle over your post





So much innuendo here.



Life would be better I think if people would just say what they really mean and skip the innuendo. Im not going to assume anything because that is always trouble so I will just give my opinion in general

Alot of topics get heated because people give an opinion when *no * opinion was asked for. And Ive said over and over its not what you say its how you say it.

Some people have way more time to post and they just keep drama going and going and going. I freely admit I come on here more then I should, but my gosh, there are people that post here continuously all day and all night. I seriously wonder to myself how they get anything else done?

I have met some of the most wonderful people from this forum and have seen amazing things done to help people and animals and that is what I keep with me.

Life is too short and precious to waste it

Having said that I am off to the barn!


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## Buckskin gal (Nov 7, 2007)

Geesh, is that ever the truth OH! [[[color=#FF0000]Alot of topics get heated because people give an opinion when no opinion was asked for.] And they know something is wrong when they do it because they then say they are putting on the flame suit 



 And the labeling with names is so childish also...seems they just have to sound intelligent by calling someone else stupid or jealous etc. It just seems so unnecessary for a discussion. I asked a simple innocent question a couple days ago and instead of getting the question answered I got a bunch of crap! Yes I know, anyone can say what ever they want to say but how ridiculous some get! 



 mARY

 

 

 

 






kaykay said:


> Lisa we are so like minded because the first thing I thought reading this was wow we are back in high school all over again! I got such a giggle over your post
> 
> 
> 
> ...


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## Charley (Nov 7, 2007)

Jill, I admired one of your horses before I even met you. I do enjoy reading your posts and especially enjoy seeing pictures of your horses. It has really been interesting to watch you build your show string. and now, watching your breeding program take off. You have shared so much with the forum and shared your experiences with learning many things here on the forum. If I had to wonder....I would guess that somebodies might be a little green with envy!


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## nootka (Nov 7, 2007)

I'm with Charley...Jill's one that I always enjoy reading her posts because she has a good way with words and a good, sound sensibility to her.

Seems like she's got a nice eye for horses, too, and I will always publicly rave over her approach to breeding and building a show herd. I wish I'd gone about it as intelligently and done my research, waited to buy the right horses rather than getting the cart so far ahead of the horse and wasting time and money by jumping right in without knowing what I should have.

Quite often she's very civil even when things get out of hand on here, too.





Sorry if I've made anyone feel confused. I guess I was a little taken aback by the private message and then the ignoring of anything I had to say. I'm also a little more than disgusted at the behavior of the person who did the reporting, more for their blind faith attitude and lack of restraint.

Liz


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## wade3504 (Nov 7, 2007)

I gottal laugh at what some people worry about and stew over so much. That must make some very unhappy people. There's much more to life than constantly thinking about what others say. All the drama reminds me of soap operas, last I saw one, as I don't watch TV.

As the Muck Bucket Turns..................


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## Jill (Nov 7, 2007)

This is fun



And interesting. Even if you want to call it as the muck bucket turns. Thanks for the giggle there, Wade





Kay, maybe I deserve some kind of award too for "multi tasking"? LOL. As a business woman now yourself, you may be surprised to know that I do find time to run my own corporation, supervise my registered reps / stock brokers, provide professional service (financial planning / estate planning advice) to my clients, keep current with continuing eduction for all my professional licenses and designations, "oversee" what we got going on at "Whinny For Me Farm", be a wife to Harvey and I'd say keep up with the house but... I really don't do that very well (thank goodness for my husband, who does!). *Plenty* to do but I type as fast as I talk which lets me participate so much on LB. I guess it doesn't hurt that I wake up around 4am every day and get "started" on what I want or need to do. Just so "you" and others don't assume that putting a lot of input into LB means the poster has little going on in the rest of her life.

I love this place and even get a kick out of my fan club (obviously referred to as such sarcastically). Since my day job really just lets me interact with clients and my employees, I don't have any "peers" to shoot the breeze with so it's great to have this as my water cooler. So much the better that we're all horsey



Over the years, I have learned so much from members here and I hope I've been able to give back to others who are starting out, or been in it longer than I have but haven't had something specific happen with their hroses that I personally have had happen with mine. This place is an amazing resource for learning and putting "two heads are better than one" to use. I've learned things that went into something as everyday and important as our feed program to learning the right way to pronounce Lutke! How bout that?



It's so education and also very entertaining to participate in this message board.

As some of you point out, there may be some jealousy at what horses I have going on, or jealousy at how much I love my horses and how pleased I am with them. I don't know. I know there are MANY horses owned by lots of other members here that I admire on a daily basis. But, to me, rather than being "nasty" and jealous, it's worked out better for me and those I admire to identify what it is that is so likeable about what another member/farm has going on and try and incorporate some of that into my own world. But, whatever. Some people would rather be resentful I suppose. That would just wear me out and wouldn't get me where I want to go





To bring it briefly "back home" to the original topic, what was on my mind is that these few posters for several months have been taking every oportunity they can twist to make snippy remarks about my opinions as if I'm trying to be rude, nasty, whatver. I'm not. There's really only one time I was deliberately nasty about a year ago, and I sincerely regret being nasty to this person who did not deserve it. Not that what I say cannot sometimes be read in ways I never intented, but for a few months my chosen few have been doing what all they can to poke poke poke. Which is fine in a way but when the root of their poking is to try and make me look insincere or heartless, I can't help but feel a little upset because I really do care about the people I "talk" to here, and about their horses and mine (deeply).


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## mininik (Nov 7, 2007)

This has been an interesting thread and I'm a fast typing "multi tasker," too, Jill.



Since my commute to work is all of a few seconds (downstairs to the grooming parlour), I can come upstairs for breaks. Our computer is always signed on to the Internet and I'll often leave the forum screen up to save time, so for those who care to keep track it looks as though I'm on a lot more than I actually am. I also take care of our six dogs and various small pets, have training classes twice a week, go visit the pony a couple times a week, do housework, etc. during the day and since my boyfriend manages a bar I'm usually up late.


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## Reble (Nov 7, 2007)

Maybe I should say this is a good topic and interesting and do find that when some people reply to some posts.

I am thinking green also, but they would deny it.

People find it hard to stick to the topic & keep their digs to themselves.

I believe some people just rub each other the wrong way, and I try so hard not to comment back when certain people on my topic give their opinions.

My husband keeps telling me, it's character building.


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## Buckskin gal (Nov 7, 2007)

Well, this threads heading is: "A matter of Opinion" and that is certainly what follows!






LOL Isn't it wonderful that we don't all think alike...how boring that would be! We do get entertained now and then with threads like this....oh gosh I better get off here because someone will think I am on too much ....don't need anyone to tell me that because I know. OH! Have fun....Mary


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## Marty (Nov 7, 2007)

Oh well heck, I don't have a fan club but if I did, I probably wouldn't be a member


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## Leeana (Nov 7, 2007)

I hope i'm not one of the dramatic ones bc i post allot, i know back in the day when i first joined and was younger and well stupid (



) i started allot of drama on here but i do hope the fact that i post so much i dont start any drama



. This forum is awsome and i cannot go anywhere without meeting a forum member



.

I think when we have those 'hot topics', we just need to realize that in a week it will all be in the past and gone. Example: Right now we are haivng a dwarf and tiny horses VR big mini people battles on the forum and we just need to realize that most of these kind of things are just PHASES and will only last a week or so and then be gone. I know i've been upset and sometimes set off just a big by a few posts and then in a couple days im back to agreeing with them and seeing things threw their eyes.

Lilbeginnings High School


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## susanne (Nov 7, 2007)

Well...

I love opinions and it seems like my favorite people on here are the most opinionated...I never understand those who get upset over opinions -- as they say, opinions are like a**--er--make that bellybuttons...everyone has one...

I know I've ticked off a few for whatever reasons...sometimes when I post, I imagine nobody's reading as everyone has blocked me...So I'll say, next tme I make you mad, keep these things in mind:

1. I'm a total dork in real life, so picture a short, dumpy, messy-haired goofball, covered in dog and cat hair, who refuses to grow up.

2. I always make fun of myself first, so if you think I've done this to you, you have company!

3. While I will fight to the death to defend my opinions and my right to voice them, I'm just as tenacious defending you right to say what you believe.

4. My tongue is always firmly imbedded in my cheek, my foot is generally in my mouth up to my knee, and my head -- well, we won't go there...

5. While my pen runneth over, in person I'm much quieter and actually rather dull. I always figure I'm a bit disappointing to those I've met...but then that assumes I'm not a crashing bore here, LOL!

6. I'm forever off-topic and eternally inappropriate, whether online or in the real world.

7.Keeping all of the above in mind, if I still irk you, just PM me and let me know...kick me in the butt or tell me to get more coffee or whatever.. It won't shut me up, but I'd rather you tell me.


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## Jill (Nov 7, 2007)

Susanne



I'm happy you posted because my gosh... if you / me doesn't bring home the fact that different opinions need not offend I don't know what does!!! You and I disagree on some major things like politics and show grooming (ha-ha-ha-ha-HA), but you are truly one of my favorite members here. I've learned from some of what you've said and enjoyed reading everything from you that I've read. You've made me laugh and you've made me cry. You've never made me angry


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## Danielle_E. (Nov 7, 2007)

this entire thread reminds me of a song, yes I am going to date myself here big time, "Oh the Games People Play". OH!



> I love opinions and it seems like my favorite people on here are the most opinionated...I never understand those who get upset over opinions -- as they say, they're like a**er--make that bellybuttons...everyone has one...






I know what word you wanted to use, ROFL


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## lvponies (Nov 7, 2007)

every night and every day now..........


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## Danielle_E. (Nov 7, 2007)

everybody sing............


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## susanne (Nov 7, 2007)

You are so right, Jill!!

I would so much rather disagree with someone who is forthright about their beliefs and can express their opinions than agree withh someone who is just making nice.

You and I can argue til we're blue in the face and then come back and laugh about gross dog stories...

And don't forget...we have an election year coming up!!! We both had better get warmed up!


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## Mona (Nov 7, 2007)

never meaning what they say now...


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## Marty (Nov 7, 2007)

never saying what they mean..........


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## Jill (Nov 8, 2007)

Well, shoot. Ya'll took the best lyrics. You must realize how badly I carry a tune


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