# Fairly new to forum



## Endless (May 20, 2008)

I read the forum alot and I hardly ever post but I feel as if I need to this time. For the most part it seems that most of the members are supportive of some but quick to judge and put down others that may not be part of the inner circle. I find that sad. I have seen tons of people jumping to help some people and then when others are in need of help or advice they are told to get rid of their animals if they can't afford them. Why is help good for one and not another??? I really think that people should read and re read posts before jumping on with their opinions.

We all have opinions but I really feel people should put themselves in others shoes before they are so quick to judge others. Yes I understand that by posting on a public forum people open themselves up to everyones opinions but when did kindness go out the window??? Maybe some people just cant type exactly what they are trying to say and maybe people should take a more compassionite view of some of these posts. It looks to me like most people are on this forum to learn and for emotional backup to share their joys and sorrows, which there are alot of both in the animal world. So why not take a minute befopre being mean and think about what you are saying. I see no reason to kick people while they are down or to put people down for trying to do right to the best of their ability for there animals.

I am willing to bet that every single one of us has had a time or two where they needed some sort of help.

Again I dont normally air my opinions here and maybe no one cares that I did this time but I just get tired of people being mean to others. Remember the old saying treat people how you would like to be treated!!


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## kaykay (May 20, 2008)

I have to agree and I hope that I am not one included in your post. I always try to put myself in the other persons shoes. And I try really hard to be helpful not hurtful. I have found though that I post less and less and I really hate that because I do think I could be helpful for other people since I have seen a lot since the time I got into miniatures. But it seems like anymore you also get flamed for trying to help so its almost a lose/lose situation.

Im hoping the tide will turn and we can all be kinder to each other again. Theres a wealth of information to be had here and some really amazing people


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## lilhorseladie (May 20, 2008)

Welcome to the forum! You are smart to notice this so soon. I think it is like any group of friends, you just have to know who to trust.


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## MiniforFaith (May 20, 2008)

I could not have said it better myself, and I am glad you did.. There is a "click" and if you don't belong, well just remember high school. Don't get me wrong there are ALOT of wonderful people on here and I have made a few good friends.. But I do think some really need to think about what they say, and if you can't say anything nice--- don't say it at all!!


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## Reble (May 20, 2008)

MiniforFaith said:


> I could not have said it better myself, and I am glad you did.. There is a "click" and if you don't belong, well just remember high school. Don't get me wrong there are ALOT of wonderful people on here and I have made a few good friends.. But I do think some really need to think about what they say, and if you can't say anything nice--- don't say it at all!!


So True....


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## SWA (May 20, 2008)

lilhorseladie said:


> Welcome to the forum! You are smart to notice this so soon. I think it is like any group of friends, you just have to know who to trust.


Sometimes you also have to be aware of "wolves in sheep's clothing". As some will strive to gain your trust, just so they can slit your throat. (Metaphorically speaking, of course



). It's not just "here" though, that's life in general, unfortunately.

I too have noticed though, that as you have observed, some respond differently to others, usually pending if they are on this month's "we don't like list" or not.



I often feel I've made that list a time or two



, just wish I knew "what" I did or said to have made it. Let alone, "who" I must have said or done it to??? I've always been one to try my darndest to make things right, if I've ever wronged anyone, but lately I just have no clue anymore.

Thankfully, I do feel welcome among a few here still, at least somewhat... So, I just post when I feel I'm sharing among friends, and respond when/where my heart feels most compelled. If I am ever intruding or unwelcome among some, I apologize, just wish I knew who the list makers were, so I wouldn't further impose myself.

Without ever knowing though, I just post and/or respond hoping I've not cracked anyones eggshells for having done so.





That said, I agree with Kay's statement:



> But it seems like anymore you also get flamed for trying to help so its almost a lose/lose situation.
> Im hoping the tide will turn and we can all be kinder to each other again. Theres a wealth of information to be had here and some really amazing people


With emphasis (sp?) on the latter.


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## Minimor (May 20, 2008)

Well, you know, sometimes...often...it isn't anything at all to do with who the person is. It's about good sense and caring for animals properly.... often people are being realistic, not mean, and the answers that some call "mean" are actually very good advice.


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## bingo (May 20, 2008)

I think there is alot of reasons as to why.

Sometimes it is a simple as some people may have more background info then others which might change the way they reply.

Sometimes it is simply someone stating something coming from logic rather then emotion. If the rest of the thread is based on emotion then it would be easy to see something coming from logic as mean.

Honestly it is very hard to learn if everyone agrees with everyone else and all you hear is what people think you want to hear.

I have been confused at times when for whatever reason the forum decides to ban together and rally and give hundreds + dollars to one person and condems another but that happens in every day life as well and we all give to what moves us.


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## mininik (May 20, 2008)

Exactly, Minimor.


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## Brandi* (May 20, 2008)

Well said Everyone



This is the first forum I have ever been a member of and it is an interesting environment to say the least. Some people will post one little thing and in 5 minutes there are 3 pages worth of responses. And then there are others who hardly ever post and in two days their post has 5 comments.



I think it just depends who is online at that time and whats going on in everyone's lives at that moment.

I have noticed that some are more outspoken than others but I still have yet to peg any one member as being mean. In every post there seems to be two sides. The defending side and the opposing side



It's a lot like politics



It is always interesting to see who picks what side. I try my best to stay away from the heated topics cause I always feel like I end up saying too much OH! Sometimes the urge is too strong to NOT say something.





But I always try to be kind and tactful. Like Kay, I hope I am not one who this post was meant for


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## SWA (May 20, 2008)

bingo said:


> I have been confused at times when for whatever reason the forum decides to ban together and rally and give hundreds + dollars to one person and condems another but that happens in every day life as well and we all give to what moves us.


I can only offer my personal experiences with regard to committing of myself for others in their time of need. I still will, with whole heartedness, but I have learned with great heartache, that not always is "my feeble offerings" even wanted. There was a "once upon a time" that I would always, without question, offer of myself however possible within my feeble means, to DO ALL all I could, FOR ALL I could. There was that "once upon a time" when that WAS MY WHOLE LIFE! MY EVERY HEART's DESIRE, from the moment I woke up each and every morning, till the time I lay my head to sleep...and that was often done without too, for the sake of committing of myself toward someone else's needs.

I just never know anymore if when I "try", am I just imposing myself where I'm not really wanted in the first place...or is what I am offering just NOT ENOUGH, either way I find myself OFTEN held in contempt just for even "trying". So I just never know anymore. Honestly, I just never know anymore.





Just the last couple weeks here, I've offered my prayerful support "privately" to some who've requested of this "publicly". My offerings were either TOTALLY IGNORED, leaving me to feel I must have intruded/imposed where I clearly was not wanted...or, gosh, I don't know???? I just don't know anymore.

ANYONE, who knows "me" though, knows my GENUINE HEART, regardless of those who hold me in their contempt for "just trying". There is still the time or two, when I offer my condolences and/or prayerful support or ANY OTHER MEANS of committing of myself to their cause and/or need, they do GENUINELY accept that of me, and I will always be deeply grateful to every opportunity that I can give of myself in that way. So...still, YES, I try, and do so PRIVATELY, and will continue to so long as that is openly accepted of me. And for those who choose to hold me in their contempt for just trying to do what little I could and it just was NOT WANTED or was just NOT ENOUGH...well...I pray for 'em. That is all I can do.





NEVER will I EVER condemn anyone in their time of cause or need though.


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## Minimor (May 20, 2008)

> I have been confused at times when for whatever reason the forum decides to ban together and rally and give hundreds + dollars to one person and condems another but that happens in every day life as well and we all give to what moves us.


As I see it, some things are a genuine "needy cause" and others aren't.

If someone posts that XYZ Farm has had a barn fire & lost all of their tack and half of their horses, to me that is a good cause, and is something I would donate to.

If someone posts that their horse has colic and needs surgery and they cannot afford it and please could everyone donate money toward it, that is not something that I personally support. Why not? Because that's a normal part of owning horses and is a cost to be borne by the owner. I would never even THINK of posting a plea for financial assistance for vet care for my horse and I'm not about to contribute to someone else's expenses.

If someone rescues a horse, that's wonderful, but I don't believe that person should expect donations. If someone wants to donate, fine, that's great, but again it's not something that I personally support. Why not? Because I have rescued my share of animals, horses included, and I wouldn't even dream of asking anyone else to contribute to that.

I believe there are many that feel the same way, that it is the "need" and not the "who" that affects our decision on whether or not we jump onto a cause with our financial support. No doubt there are some that look at "who" it is, but in most cases I don't think that has anything to do with it. Usually, too, the most successful charity cases are those who don't ask for anything for themselves. You don't usually see the barn fire victim come on and say please give me money. It will be a good friend, or neighbor, or fellow breeder that comes on and say hey, so & so had this tragedy, can we do something to help him out.


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## Ashley (May 20, 2008)

I agree. Another reason I dont really post around here much anymore. I come to read, but often times dont really do much of that either. I think this forum has lost alot of its "important" stuff in the last year or so. Mostly now I just come to check out the foal pics and any pics on the pic forum.

I have spent alot of time just watching how others appear to "change" over time and go from one of the average normal people to those who are in the "in".

I am starting to find that I am starting to like those I never much cared for more then others on here. At least they show there true colors always and dont change. If that makes any sense.


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## Jill (May 20, 2008)

I can only suspect I am thought to be a member of the "inner circle" because usually my topics get a lot of response. But I have always thought and believed that is because I also give a lot of feed back to all the other members -- be it advice when I have it, congratulations, a compliment on a photo, etc. Some people are maybe well liked because they are nice and enjoy others happy news and successes


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## Brandi* (May 20, 2008)

Yes I agree Jill. You are well known here because you participate in all aspects of the forum



You are a popular gal







Jill said:


> I can only suspect I am thought to be a member of the "inner circle" because usually my topics get a lot of response. But I have always thought and believed that is because I also give a lot of feed back to all the other members -- be it advice when I have it, congratulations, a compliment on a photo, etc. Some people are maybe well liked because they are nice and enjoy others happy news and successes


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## maplegum (May 20, 2008)

I usually stay away from heated topics as it's not the type of thing I like to get involved in. I'm a lover, not a fighter!





Anyway, not sure if this has anything to do with the topic at heart but I feel like mentioning that it annoys me when you NEVER hear from certain members until foaling season. They then post photos of their babies and then disappear again for another year. Don't get me wrong, I love the babies, but I feel they are only here to advertise..

I visit the board daily, and usually post on a daily basis. I have formed some very strong friendships here, especially a friend that lives locally to me. If it wasn't for this board, I would have never have met such a special friend.


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## Jill (May 20, 2008)

maplegum said:


> I visit the board daily, and usually post on a daily basis. I have formed some very strong friendships here, especially a friend that lives locally to me. If it wasn't for this board, I would have never have met such a special friend.


I love hearing about this kind of thing 









Many of the people who I value so much as friends I have met because of LB. Not only that, but I have learned SO much from the members... I take "you all" with me on business trips and don't feel so homesick when I can log onto LB from my hotel, etc. There are just so many good things about LB and the people here











_PS thank you, Brandi



_


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## Endless (May 20, 2008)

Thanks everyone for responding, its nice to know people are reading and thinking. I have also met some very nice people on this forum and have also learned some things. I dont respond alot because most times I would be saying the same thing someone else already said. I understand there are always more than one way of thinking and there are soooooooo many opinions out there and sometimes its good to hear from all angles but I just wish there was a way to do so nicely. Sometimes I think people dont even mean to sound nasty or like their opinion is the only opinion, so all I am saying is we need to all stop and think before we type. I read the post that got my dander up 3 times over several hours before I went and posted this thread. I figured since the urge to do so wouldnt go aay then I needed to get my opinion off my chest! This post is not directed at any one person or group but to ALL forum members and people in general and of course it is only my opinion!


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## Keri (May 20, 2008)

I stay away from the heated topics too. Everyone has their opinion and sometimes its best to let things lie. I have found a world of helpful information on here from foaling topics (my first foaling year) to driving stuff. I was even convinced after talking with people that a stifle surgery is best for my gelding. Would never had done it unless I had heard the success stories from other members. Lots of people have had similar experiences and can help out. I've never noticed a "click" of sorts, but noticed who can be very opinionated and their opinion is the only right one.



Oh, well! Its everywhere. Takes things with a spoonful of sugar and get on with life.


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## yankee_minis (May 20, 2008)

Well, seeings how I'm one of the IN crowd.... huh? what? I'm NOT one of the IN crowd? Awww and I thought I was Special! LOL

Some people are sensitive and some people aren't.

Emotions versus logic.

Grey versus black and white.

Personally I always see shades of grey in every situation. My co-worker, who I love, sees black and white. We laugh at each other and ourselves.

But if we had to do everything in writing, it wouldn't be so funny and I'd get hurt.

My heart goes out to everybody.

I say be nice.


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## Genie (May 20, 2008)

Good topic Endless.

Thanks for the post.


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## MInx (May 20, 2008)

*




Well now I do have to jump in here a bit..I'm one of the older ones here..haven't been here the longest but in my age..(certainly not my wisdom LOL *

When I first joined I saw a lot of the same people on here and quickly picked up on who I could depend on for a frank, good advice given from good conscience and from the heart and caring for WHY WE ARE HERE, THE HORSES!

I've seen my share of battles intentional and unintentional, and thoughtless blunders..made a few stupid remarks myself God knows.

BUT on a forum with what 10,000 members worldwide? all nationalities how can we not have people that naturally fall into certain circles where we feel comfortable and safe and seem more at home..that doesn't mean new people aren't welcome and won't be part of all this and fall in somewhere..

It isn't a popularity contest, it's a place to help care for , raise, show and get advice on the greatest little horses out there. A place where I was unknown , asked stupid questions time after time and yet was NEVER passed over , always got up to the moment good advice to help me most when I needed it.

One can't come into a place with this many people that covers the whole globe with that many different personalities, personal problems and needs etc and ages and not fall into groups..

I personally never saw a dumb question just a sometimes naive' one that might require patience to again answer..instead of passing it over, I try to advise how to use the search at the bottom or pass on..

NOW I , we , Carl and I have no horses..our babies are gone, one tragically even to the Rainbow Bridge..and the response to our loss was whole and complete and uplifting and certainly got me through that hard hard day..BUT along with us has been that same response to others loss of which we've had way too much on here lately. Unfortunatly a part of the size of this family..

Like all families sometimes you feel like hugging them and sometimes you feel like spanking them





Lets not lose sight of why we're here eh? And if anyone thinks they need to pussyfoot around with me, you all know better..just remember there's ways and there's ways ..there now I did my lecture for the year





I truly care about you all, Maxine


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## Brandi* (May 20, 2008)

Well put Maxine! And I don't know about you all, but when I first joined the forum I was welcomed with open arms



Or should I say open computers?



I felt very welcome and quickly became part of the forum family....at least that's how I felt. Hubby always laughs and says "your on that thing again?" hehehehe



It's a very fun place to be on most days







MInx said:


> *
> 
> 
> 
> ...


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## SWA (May 20, 2008)

{{{Maxine}}}


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## kimie28 (May 20, 2008)

Great topic Endless! I read alot and have learned alot because of this forum but I totally have to agree with you......PEOPLE CAN BE SO MEAN!!! And for what? To make themselves feel better about themselves because they think their opinion is the RIGHT one? Everybody has an opinion and have the right to their opinion but come on here, let's have a little more tack about it! Also, everybody ("inner circle people") need to rememeber that YOU were once NEW and went looking for advice at one time so when people ask for help or opinions, remember that and be considerate. We all love our animals and want to do our best for them so let's just get back to the reason this forum came about to beging with.......TO SHARE AND LEARN!


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## Maxi'sMinis (May 20, 2008)

Wow SWA just WOW!!!!

I don't think anyone that has replied here are the ones the post was intended to reach.

You are all so level headed and fair minded. Maybe the people that recognize themselves in the comments will take note and try to be kinder next time?


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## SWA (May 20, 2008)

Jill said:


> I can only suspect I am thought to be a member of the "inner circle" because usually my topics get a lot of response. But I have always thought and believed that is because I also give a lot of feed back to all the other members -- be it advice when I have it, congratulations, a compliment on a photo, etc. Some people are maybe well liked because they are nice and enjoy others happy news and successes


I'm not all together clear on what actually brought this thread about, but did feel compelled to comment where I have, because of past personal experiences as a "fellow forum member" here over the years.

However, aside from that though,



Based on Jill's statement above, I don't guess my contributions to this thread, or any actually, will ever amount to "worthiness" among the rest who are much more "active" than my few correspondence numbers.





I do feel as someone pointed out earlier in this thread, that we are emotionally committed, and at times we've been able, even financially committed to fellow members here. Myself included. Many who I've come to regard as very dear friends over the years. But, I don't find it easy to spend my every waking moment here in not only reading all the volumous posts, but then to ALSO respond to each and everyone that I would LOVE nothing more than to contribute to, because of such endearing friendships.... but, it's just not physically possible for me to even be ABLE. I have hard enough time trying to keep up with personal emails, when I have very limited "computer time" as it is. And when I am able to devote to computer time, I have physical issues that make it difficult focus on reading, and the more I read the weaker my left eye gets, so I try to do a little time here, a little time there, and before ya know it, the day's gone, and another has rolled around and I never even got to all the posts/emails that I wanted to get to, most from LAST WEEK already.

So, though my "heart" wants to read them all, and respond to as much as physically possible... "reality" smarts me otherwise. Especially, when you also factor in the many other "life's daily toils" into the time constraints of every day.

I genuinely DO "enjoy others happy news and successes" as much as anyone else, and it's not that I don't "want" to be explicitly social to each and everyone here....it's just not "physically possible" for some of us. So, by that standard, I guess I don't really need to even bother with posting what little I do try to muster up for.



As I must not "rate" the numbers worthy of ever being "heard".





Oh well, my loss entirely, I'm sure. It sure was nice knowing you all anyways.



Take care.





(PS.... of course I'm being facetious.



) I think...





I probably just better go back to "dormant" and "read" as I'm able.


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## minie812 (May 20, 2008)

Well this is really a great place to come and get such wonderful info from everyone. At times I think things can get heated but that is what makes this ole' world go round. We all have our passions and some stronger then others and some voice their opinions stronger (alot stronger) I just try not to take things to personal and EVERYONE is entitled to say what they feel. It was nice when I lost two foals in a week to be able to vent my frustrations AND my sorrow because folks on here that have lost their animal friends know the pain I was feeling And for that I am grateful. So to ALL my forum friends...THANK YOU...for being YOU!


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## Reble (May 20, 2008)

Endless said:


> Thanks everyone for responding, its nice to know people are reading and thinking. I have also met some very nice people on this forum and have also learned some things. I dont respond alot because most times I would be saying the same thing someone else already said. I understand there are always more than one way of thinking and there are soooooooo many opinions out there and sometimes its good to hear from all angles but I just wish there was a way to do so nicely. Sometimes I think people dont even mean to sound nasty or like their opinion is the only opinion, so all I am saying is we need to all stop and think before we type. I read the post that got my dander up 3 times over several hours before I went and posted this thread. I figured since the urge to do so wouldnt go aay then I needed to get my opinion off my chest! This post is not directed at any one person or group but to ALL forum members and people in general and of course it is only my opinion!


Nice to see you posting and a great understanding Friend


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## Reijel's Mom (May 20, 2008)

bingo said:


> I think there is alot of reasons as to why.
> 
> Sometimes it is a simple as some people may have more background info then others which might change the way they reply.


I think this is a really, really good point. There have been times when I don't understand things and when I take the time to go back and look at some previous posts. . .well it all becomes a little more clear then.

I know this particular thread has been talked about before a time or 2. It's neat to see people's opinions. Some people that you think to be insensitive, you actually just find are a little thicker skinned than others. They can accept comments as well as they can give them - they just lean towards brutally honest, and they don't see anything wrong with it. And some people are just really sensitive and take things incredibly personally. And some people are just really passionate about the topic on hand. And there are people that just connect really well with certain other people. And there are people that are more popular than others. There are people that are so positive, and people that are so negative. People tend to be drawn more to the positive. Pretty much like "real" life, like others have said.


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## Cathy_H (May 20, 2008)

I am one of the original old forum posters. This topic comes up about once a year. Didn't really want to add anything but to say the comments have basically been the same throughout the years. Stick around another ten years & we will still be reading basically the same comments again but from different people with a few of the oldies scattered in.................. Just so no one will take this wrong I am not saying the original poster should not have started this thread - I just wanted the new members to know this is the nature of a forum.


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## horseplay (May 20, 2008)

I have to say in some cases the same group tends to rally for certain people, that will never change. But as far as finacially supporting one person and not another I would say every case is different. I see 2 cases on here now that are totally different. One makes sense and the other wasn't thought through very well. Apples and Oranges in my eyes. I don't see where anyone was "mean" stating the truth hurts sometimes but I think it has been done nicely in this one case.


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## horsehug (May 20, 2008)

I have been here since near the beginning also and this is a topic that sometimes comes up. I think lots of good points have been made this time and have been pretty much made in a kind manner which is wonderful! I am one of those who is not very thick skinned and tends not to post on "most" controversial issues. I don't like to hurt others, and also do not like to get flamed myself. I also agree with Tanya (SWA) that whenever I have any kind of problem with anyone or about anyone, the unequivocal answer for me is to pray for them! Prayer never hurts and always helps in seen or unseen ways.

The few times that I "do" get involved with controversial threads are if I feel really compelled to stand up for something or someONE I believe in, especially if I feel unfair or downright cruel things are being said. Standing up for my beliefs means more to me than being in any kind of "in crowd" or popularity.

I think this kind of thread makes us all sit back and think...... which is a good thing 

Susan O.


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## Marty (May 21, 2008)

I've been here for years but don't post nearly as much as I used to but that's because my life has changed and I'm not as upbeat or fun as I used to be. I'm busy with my "causes" and my work and my life just got more serious, not by choice. I do miss a lot of the older posters.

Ive learned so much about miniatures on LB., it really enhanced my big horse knowledge as well. I have always kept an open mind or tried to. Somethings I am set about and won't change my mind, but with other things, this old dog still is open to learn new tricks. I really appreciate the knowledge when John Eberth came on board and did the dwarf forum. He was so helpful and answered so many questions that needed answering. It was nice for Lee Crutchfield to stop in too. I like to see the new foals they really make me smile and I like to see show results and see the show pictures since I don't go. I wish everyone a good happy foaling and show season. And for the rest of us "backyard breeders".......I'm sure we'll keep on truckin in our own way. Best wishes to all.


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## Jill (May 21, 2008)

Tanya (SWA) --

I hope you didn't feel I was meaning only people who give a lot of feedback deserve a lot of feedback. That was not at all my intention





What I've always figured / hoped is that people "talk to me" because I "talk to them". Just like out in regular life... People who are able to reach out the most get a lot back in return. I just happen to have the time and enjoy being able to interact with most of the members here... That is not at all to look down on those who aren't able to for whatever reasons (time, shyness, etc.)





There are a few members (literally only a few) with whom I do my best NOT to interact. Funny how I have a hard time liking those who go out of their way to not like me





I hope you know you and I are good, and always have been, in my book





Jill


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## MBennettp (May 21, 2008)

I agree, a lot of the time it seems as if it is negative feedback that people are getting on posts asking for opinions but most of the time it isn't really negative but just the concern for the animals themselves.

I don't post much anymore but I do monitor the board every day. The friends I have made on this forum are some of the best friends I have ever had and I would not have met them if not for the forum. I have learned a lot from the posters here but also have seen some really mean comments made on here. That will happen any time you have this many different personalities together.

I think my biggest pet peeve is when someone tells another person to geld their pride and joy when they post a picture of their stallion that they just wanted to show everybody.

Don't get me wrong, I am a BIG fan of gelding but it is better to try to educate someone and let them make that determination themselves than to bash them and tell them that they need to geld.

I certainly hope that I am not one of the posters that has hurt someone. Anyone that knows me knows that I would not intentionally hurt anyone but if the welfare of an animal is at stake, I will post if I think my 40 plus years of horse ownership and experience with rescues and re-hab will possibly make a difference in whether or not the animal will be treated by a vet or if something I could share could possibly make the animal more comfortable.

Mary


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## SWA (May 21, 2008)

Jill said:


> Tanya (SWA) --
> 
> I hope you didn't feel I was meaning only people who give a lot of feedback deserve a lot of feedback. That was not at all my intention
> 
> ...






Hi Jill





I was just playing advocate for those of us who are less active, some by choice, some by circumstance. Your post just gave opportunity to express explanation and I hope not to have offended. I was just being facetious, or at least "trying" to be. I guess it must not have come across that way, and I apologize. Yes, in my book, you and I are most definately good, and always have been.


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## Jill (May 21, 2008)

Thanks, Tanya


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## Hosscrazy (May 21, 2008)

I am also one of the original posters



I spend most of my time moderating instead of posting, but am always glad to see the old timers are still around!





Liz R.


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## MiniforFaith (May 21, 2008)

I know i already posted on this, but I have done more thinking about it. I am so greatful I found LB. I have learned so much from here, as I never owned any horse before. It really bothers me when some really get nasty with others, and I feel it is just not fair.. I use to post a lot, but since a good friend of mine was really hurt by some members, she isn't on anymore



And i do get discouraged as many of my topics do not get the volume as most others. But hey,, I wasn't in the "in crowd" and school so i understand that I think it is the same here. LIke right now, I am going threw massive problems and would love have the forum shoulders to lean on, but I just don't want to get more upset for no one replying..ANd I would like to say thanks to the few the posted on my mares problems. But again, I thought maybe there would have been more sending thoughts her way.. I do not cause problems on here and never will, but I do back off as sometimes I think it is best. I do believe in the power of prayer. I try to post on the ones that need it when they ask and I have even tried helping some, just wished I couldhave done more... And there are times that I still pray for them, even if I don't say sending prayers.. Well sorry to go on, like I said I am a basket case now, but I just wanted to add my thoughts and I think it was a good Idea to start this topic.. And since I am not popular here, I just pray I don't get the torch over my post..


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## Sterling (May 21, 2008)

I'm one of the old timers too and as Hosscrazy mentioned am glad to see some of the old timers still around even if they just read and check in from time to time. With a deversified group such as you have on LB forum, I feel that it's almost inevidable to not be able to keep most people happy most of the time. In light of that being said, through out the years of being on the forum, I have to say this has to be one of THE best I have ever come across. There are some out there that you'd best have your armor and flame suits donned ALL the time, and man can things get pretty hairy and just downright rude. I can always expect to come here and do some realxed reading, banter back and forth with members I know, or don't know (great way to make new friends!) and enjoy and learn more. Then there are the times when members need a kind word or two, and just moral support and I try to touch on those subjects too. I feel bad when I have missed a thread where I could have posted or when I have just not had the time to post. As I have mentioned before I do a lot of multi-tasking when I'm on the computer. I get up to tend to my pups.....have one that is very demanding with her "Mommy time" with me"....would'nt have it any other way




, and tending to the farm full time and so at times I'm back and forth on posts or times when I'm reading and answering phone calls all at the same time so altho my name may be at the bottom of the page, I may not be able to respond at the time to a post.

There have been times when I've gotten not much feedback on my threads...times where I have gotten quite a bit.....times where I have gotten none at all. I try to keep it all in perspective. It is what it is. Try not to take it personally...enjoy the forum for what it is. A place to learn and share, and to make new friends, and meet with old ones. That's my agenda!


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## barnbum (May 21, 2008)

Interesting you picked up on that so quickly!



I spent time here every day for a year or more, then it just wasn't worth the



> There is a "click" and if you don't belong, well just remember high school


 issues anymore. Not a "popular" group--just a "know-it-all" kind of mean group. Some of them look for any reply/post by certain people and do what they can to make trouble, ever so subtly of course, or maybe not so subtle. Other times the person's words are oh so sweet.




I do my best to steer clear of them, but life's just too short.

So I just pop in to check things out once-twice a week to learn what I can (Tony's new post for instance



), see how my friends are doing, and sprinkle a short kind reply here and there. .



More often if I'm on vacation.

Quilting forums are _amazingly_ kind *every single minute*. NOT an exaggeration.



And they love my quilts AND my horses.


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## txminipinto (May 21, 2008)

I'm not an old timer or a member of the "click" (which for the record have yet to figure out who's in the click), but I've been here awhile and probably log more hours on this forum than anyone (thanks to the boring day job). Some of my posts could probably be seen as "mean" when honestly it's an opinion or advice without any emotional content. I reply frequently to the medical topics because of my background. AND because of my background, I'm able to look at the situation at hand without dragging everyone else's emotion in to it. Being emotional during a time of chaos and need for medical attention is actually counter productive. I'm the same way when replying to training posts. You have to take the emotion out of it to get the point across.

Now, talking about babies. That's all emotion, especially when they're mine!





It's the nature of any forum. There are thousands of personal opinions and experiences here and not everyone is going to agree with you. So, you just have to learn to be a duck and let it roll off your back! And just because someone doesn't agree with you, doesn't mean they're trying to be mean.


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## Jill (May 21, 2008)

I'm sorry, but I just had a thought that made me giggle... Seems like some people decide NOT to like a set of people because too many other people already like them!!! Yeah, if a lot of people like another group of people, the well liked people must not actually be likable



OH!





Then there are times when someone asks for an opinion and then when honest opinions are given, others think the responders are being mean. Or when someone holds something out for input in general, but doesn't appreciate all the input they get. I'd rather have an honest opinion or idea than just a false pat on the back. Since I already am very familiar with my own opinion, when I ask for others', that's really what I want and try to give the same to others.

It's also _too_ bad that those who are so annoyed by this place and the perceived issues are still drawn to keep coming back for more. I guess they too realize how much LB actually has to offer, in large part thanks to the outstanding members who share their ideas, encouragement and knowledge with others.


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## Maxi'sMinis (May 21, 2008)

Jodie I feel the same way you feel. I just try to remind myself that you can only please 50% of the people and the other 50 you have to let go. I try not to let these things bother me for the most part but sometimes you can't help it. Most people want to be accepted and sometimes it doesn't work out quite like we wanted.

This is for you Jodie, I hope that what ever problems you are dealing with fall away like feathers and if you are dealing with health issues with you and yours I pray that all is well with them very soon.

I don't know any of the people on this forum but many many people have been kind and thoughtful to me.

God bless


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## Minimor (May 21, 2008)

> Then there are times when someone asks for an opinion and then when honest opinions are given, others think the responders are being mean.


Yeah, that one always makes me shake my head. I always say that if someone wants to hear only good things they should ask "this is my baby, isn't she cute" as opposed to saying "here's my baby, please critique her" and if someone says "would you breed with this stallion" be prepared for a certain number of people to reply "NO"
If I ask someone the question "do these jeans make me look fat" if they do in fact make me look fat I'd really appreciate being told the truth, rather than get the answer "oh, no, they look great" then I go out in public and 100 strangers are looking at me and thinking geez, she looks hideous in those jeans, what was she thinking"





Sometimes, of course, asking an opinion on one thing can lead to unsolicited opinions on another aspect of the situation--something that people don't always realize when they post a question or a photo--I figure, really, it's an inherent risk you take when you post. for example, you post a photo of a lovely horse & say here's my baby, isn't she lovely, 50 people might agree, but then half of those people might also point out that the harrows laying upside down on the ground just beyond the horse, in what is obviously a horse pasture, are an extremely dangerous thing to leave laying there like that. It's really not them being mean, they're concerned about the horses and trying to be helpful. It pays to look at what you're really posting before you get upset over something like that.


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## Reijel's Mom (May 21, 2008)

I think there are probably MANY of us who feel like our posts don't get a lot of feedback, and know that if other posters posted the same topic it would get more response. So please - right now go to the mini horse forum and look at my post on "Anyone else on extended mare stare" and look at the pictures of my mare and tell me if you think she looks pregnant, cuz I'm scratching my head at 356 days and no baby and no forward progress from the mare.





And don't comment if you think she's ugly or horrible or whatever, or that you think my pasture is too weedy, or the fence in bad shape. She's my girl and I love her and this may well be the only mini horse baby I ever try to make



.

BTW I LOVE this forum, and I'm quite addicted to it - check it at least 3 times a day, usually more! Sure things are said in a not so nice way sometimes but I just can't see that it's all that much different from "real" life. And by far I think the majority of comments ARE positive, and I guess I choose to focus on that.


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## Leeana (May 21, 2008)

> but I've been here awhile and probably log more hours on this forum than anyone (thanks to the boring day job).


WANNA BET????

I am on here constantly, way to much.

I love this place and its where i spend my "free" horsey time and have met so many people i consider my friends and look forward to meeting new people. It always amazes me when i go to shows, or any miniature event, i always hear atleast two times "Are you the Leeana from Lilbeginnings".





I do not think i am part of any click. Now, there are some topics and posters that catch my attention more then others due to the fact i have more in common with them and enjoy their posts and always make sure i reply to their topics because they reply to mine.

I remember when i first joined (i think 2004 or 2005?), i was new to everything and really didnt understand this forum, it really is like a family. I really grew up with lilbeginnings and owe most of what i "know" today is from reading here, talking to the members, watching them show ext.

Its a great place, really


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## Jill (May 22, 2008)

LOL!!!

I'm such a motor mouth here... It's a wonder between "this", my horses, and my tv habit, I've got time to run a business and take care of my clients (trust me, I do!).

Anyone who's talked to me in person or on the phone, I type and read as fast as I talk -- and that is pretty darn fast









So that helps me to be able to really "talk" a bunch.

To me, because at my office my "co-workers" are my employees -- this is like my water cooler or my place to talk to peers... My employees are great, but quite a bit older than I am and have learned from past employees it works better if it's not real buddy-buddy. And, I just love it "here"





I don't really remember when I joined, but I think it was 2001. Trying to remember the first things I talked about here and those things would have been going on with me and my hoofed wonders around 2001.

When I first came across this place, it was because Lyn_J posted pictures of a filly I had born who was sired by a stallion she used to own. I came to see the pictures and saw people had compliments about "Morningstar", but it was awhile before I actually understood what the forum was about and how it worked.


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## txminipinto (May 22, 2008)

Leeana said:


> > but I've been here awhile and probably log more hours on this forum than anyone (thanks to the boring day job).
> 
> 
> WANNA BET????


Actually, yes. I spend 95% of time at work at this computer with this forum up in the back ground. I bet I check it every 30 minutes!





So there, Leeana!


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## Jill (May 22, 2008)

Lisa --

I've never noticed that your posts were anything other than easy to understand and clear -- as far as I can tell, your English is right on!!!

Jill


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## Reignmaker Miniatures (May 22, 2008)

Minimor said:


> > If I ask someone the question "do these jeans make me look fat" if they do in fact make me look fat I'd really appreciate being told the truth, rather than get the answer "oh, no, they look great" then I go out in public and 100 strangers are looking at me and thinking geez, she looks hideous in those jeans, what was she thinking"
> >
> >
> >
> ...


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## CyndiM (May 22, 2008)

I guess I'll jump in here and say I too have been here since waaaay back when, about the beginning. I didn't post at all then and don't very often now because most others have either said it all ahead of me or I have no knowledge of the subject.

I do try to only be positive or kind and I hope I have not said or replied in any way that has offended anyone.

I also miss some of the old-timmers who no longer post but may still be reading. There were some who had a LOT of knowledge and I miss their input.


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## hobbyhorse23 (May 22, 2008)

txminipinto said:


> Leeana said:
> 
> 
> > > but I've been here awhile and probably log more hours on this forum than anyone (thanks to the boring day job).
> ...


Nope, I win!



I've got LB up the entire day at work as well as most of the night at home and can't resist systematically checking it every five minutes. I'm BAAAAAAD. (I have no idea when I find time to drive my horse given how much time I spend talking about driving him!



)

I've been avoiding this thread after an initial read because I assumed it was going to become either preachy or at least a repeat of similar threads I've already read but once again the bright side of LB shines through and surprises me.



Life wouldn't be nearly as much fun without my friends here to share it with!

Leia


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## The Simple Life Farm (May 24, 2008)

> Actually, yes. I spend 95% of time at work at this computer with this forum up in the back ground. I bet I check it every 30 minutes!


Carin,

Are they hiring at your work????? (LOL) That sounds like a job for me (Bigger LOL)!!!!!!

I really didn't want to post on this subject, I was afraid it would go south at any time. But, I have learned so much from this forum, from horse care, to feeding, exercising, to barns and everything in between. There are alot of people with vast experience that I admire. I consider myself still wet behind the ears, but they are starting to dry out because of the forum!!!


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