# Stupid Leia



## Celtic Hill Farm (Mar 31, 2008)

Ok, i have a 38 inch small standard donkey. I have two. Aura and Leia. My brother's donkey is Leia, i can not get near her. if i am luckey i can pat her on the head before she runs away. I have tried everything! any one have any tips to help her.


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## Bunnylady (Mar 31, 2008)

Well, let's see..... Donkeys don't like to be patted (I hear they consider it a form of scolding.)

You don't want to try to touch above their shoulders (in other words, not the neck or head) because they consider that a threat until they get to trust you.

I assume Aura is more approachable than Leia is. Don't think of Leia as "stupid," it's more like "afraid." So the real question here is, "why is Leia afraid?" Have you had both of these girls the same amount of time? Are they the same age? Did they come from the same place? Could something have happened to her before you got her? Is she afraid of everybody, or just you?

For whatever reason, she sees you as something scary, so you need to try to keep your threat level as low as you can. Keep your voice soft, keep your hands low, scratch rather than patting. Try just sitting near her, without trying to touch her, and let her come to you. There are several people with w-a-a-y more experience than me that regularly post on this forum, I'm sure they'll pop in before much longer. I'm sure they'll have more suggestions, but that's a start. Good luck with her!


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## Miniv (Apr 2, 2008)

Bunnylady said:


> Well, let's see..... Donkeys don't like to be patted (I hear they consider it a form of scolding.)
> 
> You don't want to try to touch above their shoulders (in other words, not the neck or head) because they consider that a threat until they get to trust you.


Really??????? We had two fellows for a couple of years that LOVED their heads and necks to be scratched. We never tried patting them, though. Of course, everyone would want to stroke their big soft ears and they would get annoyed at that.





PS: Sorry, I didn't really address Leia's problem........ Once she's in a smaller area, you should be able to start loving on her gradually. I've never pushed myself on our shy ones (they were horses), just touching and a little scritch every day. It takes patience and time, but after awhile they look forward to the attention, I've found.


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## AceyHorse (Apr 2, 2008)

Well I may be sticking my nose in here when its not wanted as I have horses not donkeys but I say, suck up, suck up and more sucking up. By this I mean food and if she will allow, some gentle stroking. Just go and hang out, spend time out there with them and not just focused on her. And as someone said earlier, stay low get down to her level (if its safe rest one knee down), try not to stare at her eyes too much, let her come to you ( food essential) and even if you just feed her and then leave without petting, let her know that everytime you come to see her doesn't mean 'somethings going to happen!' its something good and positive (and treats). Just take everything super super slow and gain her trust. Also helps to make a big deal of the other donkey (treats and pats) and she'll prob come over to see whats shes missing out on. Don't give up! Often the relationships that take the longest to forge are the most rewarding, you'll have a friend for life!


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## Bunnylady (Apr 2, 2008)

Miniv said:


> Bunnylady said:
> 
> 
> > Well, let's see..... Donkeys don't like to be patted (I hear they consider it a form of scolding.)
> ...


What is it about donkey ears that makes people want to play with them?





This business about keeping your hands away from their heads is something I have frequently seen recommended on this forum, when dealing with a shy animal. I haven't a great deal of experience with these guys, but I do have a little. A camp I worked at several years ago had four standard donkeys. Two of them were self-confident muggers that anyone could pet, but I was one of only two people who could touch the other two. Scratching them on the butt or shoulders was okay, but if I tried to touch their faces, they'd leave. I had to earn their trust by keeping to the "safe" areas, then gradually work up to the neck and eventually the head.

My mule, Betsy, is getting much easier about me getting "in her face," she was skittish about her head and especially ears when I got her, too. In her case, I have reason to think that people have used her ears to subdue her whenever something she didn't welcome needed to be done.


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## Celtic Hill Farm (Apr 3, 2008)

ok thanks everyone i'm going to try and work with her, today at some point. If i have time, I have been working so hard on geting weight on my horse that i haven't done much with the girls. Also it has been muddy in the arena. But Aura is my little girl she is soooo good.. and such a suck up to me.


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## Bonny (Apr 11, 2008)

Hey Ian! You will win her over in time. She is just shy. Keep working with her and be patient with her,she will come around!


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