# Drunk mother sell daughters mini



## LittleRibbie (Oct 20, 2008)

Friday I went to buy shavings and as I always do, went to read the the posted classified board they have in the back of the store. As I was standing there ( about 10:00 A.M. ) I woman came over and was also reading them. She reaked of booze and was even slurring her words when she started to talk to me. She was really trying hard not to slur and stand but was having a tough time of it. Any way, somehow I mentioned mini horse and she told me she had one and would be glad to sell it to me. It was strange...she asked me nothing about where I lived or anything about my horses and didint seem to know too much about the mini she wanted to sell me. She wrote down her tel. # and told me to call her if I wanted another horse. When she walked away I got a real uneasy feeling about this mini. All I could think about was seeing this poor little thing, most likely wormy, skinny and just sort of uncared for.......only because this woman was drunk at 10:00 in the A.M. and she couldnt answer any questions I asked about him. Basically these were her answers to a couple of my guestions. Is it a little mare, gelding or stud?

"He's a boy"

Is he gelded?

"He's been fixed, and he's pedigreed too"

You mean he's registered?

" I think so...he has papers"

Anyway, I had her tel. # and when she walked away I just knew I was going to call her and at the least go see what condition her horse was in. I was trying to think of how I was going to tell my husband that I might be bringing home another neglected horse. Well when I was walking to my car she came over to me ( this time w/her husband or boyfriend ) and told me she didint live to far from here and said I could follow her to her house. Well I told her I would meet her there b/c I had a few things to do 1st. He was driving and did not appear to be drunk.

I got to her house about a 45 min. later. The outside of her house was really just sort of a mess, lots of old cars, empty garbage cans all tipped over....really tall grass and just sort of a mess and no signs of a horse/barn or any thing else horse related from what I could see. When I knocked on the door someone yelled come in and when I opened the door there was someone passed out on the couch w/ television turned up very loud The woman came out of the kitchen area....it was pretty obvious that there are ALOT of parties going on here...all you could smell was stale smoke and booze. She told me the horse was out back and she wanted to get 200.00 for him, the guy she was with earlier came out ( now he has a beer in his hand )and said

if I couldnt catch him he would help....he said " that little horse is a little sh$%#."

I said I'd be fine...I just wanted to see him. She said the barn was out back and go see him for yourself. I went out back and sure enough there was the mini.....

This horse was in WONDERFUL condition, Beautiful Coat, fly mask, there was a fly sheet hanging on the fence. No halter on him but it looked like a fairly new one on the hook. Someone does take great care of this horse and he couldnt be too hard to catch because he wasnt wearing the halter and someone is grooming and caring for this horse a great deal!! You could see on one side of the yard where they must lunge him alot as there is the worn grass to show it. Now my mind is going a mile a minute.....this does not add up.....this lady already told me she never goes out to even see the horse....but someone must!! Now Im getting curious. I walk over and peek in the barn area. Its not really a barn but someone did construct a crude shelter/stall and tack and feed room. The stall had nice clean shaving!! clean water bucket and there was all sorts of medications, grooming supplies, brushes and just things that we all have on hand. Now I didnt want to be too nosey but I was really looking and tring to figure out what was going on. Well on the wall someone had taped up a sort of health record which listed vet stuff, feeding and farrier work but there was also about 8 report cards from the local high school. All with a girls name XXX and they were from sophmore to junior high school. The grades were all A's with a couple B's. This girl is SMART!! There were also pictures of her or maybe a friend holding her horse in what looked like a couple of horse shows. 3 Bales of hay, plenty of shavings and everything points to a horse that is friendly and VERY WELL taken care of.

I went back to the house and didnt want to act like I just snooped thru her whole barn ( but I did ) and asked about the person that takes care of the horse ....wondering why she wouldnt offer to sell it to her. She said " Oh, thats my daughter...its her horse...she's works almost every day after school. I asked if I could come by and talk to her daughter...she sort of got secretive and wouldnt answer my ???s. No, she didnt want me talking to her and if I wanted the horse I could only pick him up when she was at work or at school. The womans boyfriend/husband piped up and said...xxx is always out in the GD barn w/ the little sh%$ ball horse and should be doing more around the house...all said proudly holding his friggin Old Milwaukee can !!

WELL MAYBE THIS YOUNG LADY STAYS OUT IN HER LITTLE BARN WITH HER ADORABLE LITTLE HORSE FOR A REASON!! MAYBE THIS GIRL IS WORKING EVERYDAY TO TAKE CARE OF THE ONE THING THAT IS IMPORTANT TO HER. THIS GIRL IS A GREAT STUDENT BUT JUST LIVES IN A BAD SITUATION. I WOULD GIVE HER A MEDAL!!

I think this mother is tring to sell her own daughters horse to pay for her booze and perhaps ( no proof ) other drugs and ...it makes me sick to my stomach. The mother mentioned where I think this girl works and I already know from the report cards on the wall where she goes to school.

I came home and told my husband of the story and he said I should really stay out of it....although he was sympathetic. But I just feel I should do something to let this girl know what her mother is trying to do.....I dont think this is a child welfare case but I dont know and Im just at a major loss as to what to do. I went from wanting to help what I thought would be a neglected horse to reaching out to a young girl. Please if any one has ideas of what I should do please respond...Im at a complete loss and need advice. Thanks so much. Im afraid this women will find someone willing to buy her daughters horse and I dont even want to think about what it would do to her poor daughter!!

Sorry about the long post. Heidi


----------



## zoey829 (Oct 20, 2008)

Yikes! Can you stop thier as a surpise when the daughter is home? Or perhaps ask if the daughter would be upset. I feel soo bad!!! I feel sooo bad. It sounds like this little girl does everything in her power to keep this mini. Please keep us posted.


----------



## Genie (Oct 20, 2008)

Maybe you could leave a message at the school that you are interested in purchasing her miniature horse that has been offered for sale.

Sounds like a bad situation but the young girl seems to be making the best of it.

Maybe if she didn't live far from you she could have her horse at your place and do chores for you to offset the board?


----------



## tinypony (Oct 20, 2008)

I come from a law-enforcement background and have children of my own. Buy the horse in secret, take it home, contact the girl after the fact, and then let her have free access to it. If you tell her first, she will strike out at her mother and then who knows what abuse will happen. Also, they may end up selling to someone less sympathetic. Then, after you have the horse, call childrens services immediately and tell them that you think the girl is in danger and needs safe shelter. I know this sounds extreme, but so does this situation. Save the horse and the girl. I would if I lived closer. As far as your husband goes, I am pleased he is sypmathetic, but where children are concerned, NEVER STAY OUT OF IT. That is why so many go on being abused, because we all stay out of it. All children are our business; they are our future, and she sounds like she has one.


----------



## minie812 (Oct 20, 2008)

Kinda what I was thinking if you are not far away she could keep it there and exchange board and chores and keep her mini safe from mom. They will find a way to sell it for sure and then if that girl is working she can give them her paycheck and clean up after them




instead of the mini ...o.k. I am doing a sllllooooowww burn thinking about it.



One way or the other they will sell it to get the money out of it


----------



## txminipinto (Oct 20, 2008)

I'd offer $100 (she'd probably take it), get the horse out of there, and then contact the daughter. That's pathetic that the mother is trying to do this. Reminds me of the story MY mother told me about her mother giving away the family dog without telling anyone. It really upset my mother as a child is probably the reason why we had so many pets growing up!


----------



## Brandi* (Oct 20, 2008)

Yes, I too was wondering if you could go ahead and buy the little guy and then somehow contact the little girl and work out an arrangement with her. It sounds like the mother is going to sell her horse either way and most people wouldn't be as sympathetic as you.


----------



## jbrat (Oct 20, 2008)

I have no idea about your situation or the girls, but if you could meet the daughter, and if you have the place or know of onewhere maybe she could keep the mini, away from the drunken fools. Then the girl would have somewhere to go be away from the drunks too. She could even claim to sell the mini, before her mom does. I feel bad for this girl how terrible it would be to come home and find her (probably) best friend gone to who knows where.

I swear I hate people sometimes! So cruel and inconsiderate. ( even to her own child, thats even worse- Hardant, no feelin' cold drunken witch)

And I honestly trust animals more than people, never been intentionally hurt by an animal. Sounds goofy but true! I find it easier to read animals than people to easy for people to lie.

My son asked me if I new what the most dangerous/ deadly animal in OHIO was, in science class they say it is the deer because of all the deers hit on the road. Well, then I had to give him my answer, People are w/o a doubt the most deadly and dangerous animals in the whole world!

The most deer accidents are during hunting season-people are running the deer, deer just trying to survive.

And people are wasteful and hoggin' up all the land, wild animals have no where to go to get away from us.

Ok didn't mean to go off topic or to rant but I did sorry!

I pray all goes well for this girl, her mini, and you! I'm sure it is waying on you too.

Please let us know if you find out anything else.


----------



## mizbeth (Oct 20, 2008)

Oh gosh. My first instinct was to not get involved too until I read the other posts. I think those are wonderful ideas and you may just save this young womans life!

Even if she cannot see this horse each day or even work off her board for you, she is working and would offer to help you I'm sure. The new price is good and will probably be accepted. Make sure you get the "papers" on this horse so that mom can't come back on you for it, and a bill of sale. See if she will include all its tack, blankets, halters etc.

I don't blame this young lady, I would stay at the barn all the time too..........very sad but you could really make a difference in this young ladys life. If it does not work, you will have at least done all you can do to help. I know how hard this is for you.

My most memorable experience when I was growing up was with a woman who befriended me during a stressful time of my life. She was a horsewoman and I will NEVER FORGET HER and how she helped me!


----------



## sfmini (Oct 20, 2008)

I am with the others, at the very least call CPS. It appears to me this kid is a survivor based on the care of that horse and her grades, and working hard. She is raising herself right now and deserves a chance to live in a safe, secure environment, not like Cinderella and the wicked stepmother/father.


----------



## Reijel's Mom (Oct 20, 2008)

I would try to leave a message where you think this gal works to contact you, and offer to her some sort of arrangement with her keeping the horse at your place, as was suggested.

IMO, you have been given the opportunity here to possibly make a really positive difference in this gals life.


----------



## Brandi* (Oct 20, 2008)

> you have been given the opportunity here to possibly make a really positive difference in this gals life.



I agree


----------



## Casnos Minis (Oct 20, 2008)

I agree with everyonr else. Help them both.

Christy


----------



## Katiean (Oct 20, 2008)

I kind of have a situation close to that. My youngest brother threatens his 11 year old daughter with selling her horses. The thing is He can't. I have put into place safeguards. The horses are all on my property and in both her name and mine. I know what alcohol can do and how people can act while under the influance of it. He gets so brutal and mean about the horses and he doesn't even pay for feed. The problem you are faceing is if the horse is registered and in the parents names he actually belongs to them. If the horse is in the daughters name then they have no right to sell. Also, about how old is the girl? Good luck.


----------



## h2t99 (Oct 20, 2008)

My heart is breaking for that poor girl. If I lived closer I would take both in!! Maybe you can contact the school counselor and talk to her and then she can talk to the girl. Or if you know where this girl works leave a note for her about what is going on, and that you are willing to help if possible. Definately try and help.


----------



## Reble (Oct 20, 2008)

I notice that was Friday, and today is Monday, maybe try calling the Lady today.

Might just want to see if you can talk to the daughter first.

Good Luck, not sure what advice to give here?


----------



## LittleRibbie (Oct 20, 2008)

Thanks everyone. I knew I had to do something and all your ideas are right along the same ideas as mine. Her place is about 30 minutes from my house and she is more than welcome to bring her horse here ( I would trailer for her )...just dont know if she has a car to come visit...and I really cant imagine she does but maybe. We own a business and this is getting to be my busy season so my horses do seem to get alittle less attention paid to them than I would like and I would love to have this girl around to help ( gosh her little horse looked better than mine do this A.M and I think my horses look great LOL ). It would be a win win situation for us IMO. I just think I need to speak w/her before buying her little guy but I have to approach her in a manner as to not letting her know what I drunken #$#% her mother appears to be ( after all it is HER mother )...I read all the classifieds Craigslist,horse, and local papers and have not seen her horse listed so I think the mother is just sort of mentioning selling him to people to see if she can get a buck!! I looked up the # for her H.S. and am thinking of calling or going to the school and perhaps her guidence counselor could relay a message to her.. I thought of maybe asking the counselor to speak w/her about someone( me) needing help w/minis and maybe the counselor thought of "her" b/c she has a mini. My mind is going crazy. I even thought of going to dinner at the rest. she works at and asking to sit in her station and just casually bringing up the subject of horses and just get a feel of what might be going on. She may already know her mom wants the horse gone and is looking for 'help" Thanks again for the ideas and I will keep you posted!!

My husband is used to me by now and I know would welcome this horse to our home w/open arms and carrots! We just need to see what we can do for XXX. Heidi


----------



## minih (Oct 20, 2008)

What a sad horrible situation, please keep us updated on what happens. Everyone here had some great ideas, I hope some good can come from this.



That poor girl.


----------



## Miniv (Oct 20, 2008)

Good for you for caring!!! I think going to the school counselor is the BEST idea. Let the counselor know what is going on and perhaps the person can be a "go-between". And leave your phone number incase the girl wants to contact you. Having the school counselor involved is important, IMO. No matter how things play out, things could be unpleasant for the girl and the school should be aware of her situation.

Please keep us posted! This young gal deserves a break, from all you describe.

My parents took in a high school student under a similar home environment (but without the horse......it was a dog, instead.). She was a good student, had a job, and was basically taking care of herself AND her mother -- also an alcoholic. She never allowed her friends from school to visit because she never knew what condition she'd find her mother or the house in when she got home.........I was away at college, so she stayed in my room. She graduated from high school with honors and my parents gifted her some money to help her go off to college........She's done very well for herself too..........Married a Canadian, is a photo-journalist, and writes romance novels on the side! LOL! (I shudder to think what may have happened to her if she hadn't gotten out of her living conditions.)


----------



## RockRiverTiff (Oct 20, 2008)

I really hope you can help this girl! Reading her story brought tears to my eyes. I can't imagine what it would be like to come home and find the only loving presence in your life gone. Please please keep us updated on this story--my stomach is in a knot just worrying that the mom will find a buyer.


----------



## hobbyhorse23 (Oct 20, 2008)

RockRiverTiff said:


> I really hope you can help this girl! Reading her story brought tears to my eyes. I can't imagine what it would be like to come home and find the only loving presence in your life gone.


I agree. I tried to put myself in this girl's place and while if the alternative is the horse being gone completely I'd eventually be grateful, I think I'd still be upset that some adult I didn't even know had come in and taken my horse because they "knew what was best" for me or "wanted to help." Maybe having that horse outside the house is the only way she can get away from the parties and alcohol and if he's somewhere else she'll be trapped indoors with the drunks. Ultimately it is this girl's decision and as a junior or senior in high school she's old enough to be asked for her opinion. If you want to help her, let her know what's going on and make your offer. Make it now, before Mom can sell the horse to someone else. Then let her decide if she wants you to have the horse and if she'd like to work off the purchase cost so she still owns it or what. Be clear that you're afraid Mom will sell the horse to someone else if the daughter says anything.

Best of luck to both of you. What a rotten situation to happen to such a determined young lady.

Leia


----------



## babygoose (Oct 20, 2008)

Good luck and keep us posted!!

I agree with everybody else on trying to get the mini out of there and board it for the girl in exchange for help around your place. I am really worried that the Mom or boyfriend will get mad one day and hurt the mini as it sounds like they really hate the little guy! And it sounds like this girl is a good kid and making the best out of a bad situation. It would be great if you could help her out too and help keep her on the path she seems to be on. It seems so sad that all her report cards are out in the barn, her Mom must not care at all. Having that little mini probably helps keep her on track by having something to care for and goals to shoot for. It would be horrible if her Mom took that away from her. Aarrggg, this story makes me so sad.


----------



## Maxi'sMinis (Oct 20, 2008)

I so believe in fate and this is FATE. For you to be a mini person and be their at that moment to meet this so called mother was meant to be. God has intervened on this childs behalf. You were the person he chose to help her. Buy the horse get it home and contact the school. I would leave her a letter with your contact info so she can have her beloved horse and you as a mentor. What a gift to you also to have a little helper as I know she would be. You also want to concider these lothsome parents. You need to make sure somehow that you do this for this girl in a way that these people can't bother you and your family. I would get social services and child protection involved. Good luck you are a wonderful person!


----------



## shalamara minis (Oct 20, 2008)

hope that you are able to help this girl and her mini really sound like she needs it. Also going through the school might be a good thing too.

Keep us up to date and what is going on with this!


----------



## HGFarm (Oct 20, 2008)

I would wonder how old the daughter is, and who LEGALLY owns the horse? If it has papers, whose name are they in? I agree with contacting the daughter in some way, but would be a bit worried about buying this horse without more info.

What a disgusting situation and how sad. It's obvious where their priorities are... She needs to do more housework and they need more beer money!






If you can get hold of the daughter, I wonder if offering to board it for her at your 'location unknown to the parents' would fly? But, if the horse is in the mother's name or the father or whoever, there is not much you can do should they decide to sell it.

My heart breaks for that kid...


----------



## Yaddax3 (Oct 20, 2008)

If you think the mini is in danger, buy it.

If you think the girl is in danger, call Child Services.

It's not your place to meddle beyond that.

It's clear you are well intentioned, but do you truly believe going to the girl's school or place of work is likely to help? Are you trained or prepared to handle the fallout or reaction from the girl or her mother and dad/boyfriend? You could set off a chain of events that endanger the horse and the girl at an accelerated rate. Sure, that's a worst-case scenario, but it's a possibility based on the information you've provided.

As a foster parent for more than 14 years, I've had some training about how to deal with children in messy family situations. And taking it into my own hands is not an option I'd take. I'd get Child Services involved if I felt the girl was in danger.

Offering the girl the opportunity to visit her mini is a great idea. You can even offer to sell it back to her or give her half-ownership, with the understanding that it stay at your place for safe keeping. But first things first, as they say.


----------



## lildrummer (Oct 20, 2008)

I have given this thought. A suggestion:

Go to Mother and say that you will buy the horse with the condition of speaking w/the person who cares for it. If this happens, say that you will buy w/the condition that she continue to care for horse at your place. Transportation can be worked out, etc. This way, everything is above board and the focus is kept on horse. Then hopefully child will take you up on it, realizing she may lose the horse to someone else.

Gppd luck and I admire you for wanting to take action.

Lildrummer


----------



## Sanny (Oct 20, 2008)

Bob is right about not trying to handle this yourself.

You have no idea how this girl's family (or the boyfriend) will react toward the girl OR toward you and your own family members if you try to take it in your own hands. I understand wanting to do something but even as licensed foster parents we are mandated reporters meaning............



> Mandated reporters are required to report suspected child abuse or maltreatment – or cause a report to be made – when, in their professional roles, they are presented with reasonable cause to suspect abuse or maltreatment.
> Of course, anyone can report any suspected abuse or maltreatment at any time, and is encouraged to do so.
> 
> Reasonable cause to suspect child abuse or maltreatment means that, based on your observations, professional training and experience, you feel the parent or person legally responsible for a child has harmed that child or placed that child in imminent danger or harm.


Mandated reporters are taught NOT to try and deal with it themselves they are asked to get the appropriate authorities involved to investigate.

If you make a report to child protection they will investigate and if they find she is in need of help or protection they will give it to her.

Having said that......they have been known to investigate with the school and interview children at school and take them into immediate custody. If that would happen, who knows what could happen to the mini. I doubt the mom or boyfriend would take care of it. I always worry about forgotten or neglected pets in this sort of situation. Our current foster daughter is in long term foster care with us and when she first came to us she had a cat that she'd had since she was a little girl that she was very attached to and to this day she isn't sure what exactly happened to it.

This is a tough one, and who says that child protection would do anything at all. Unfortunately the level of neglect, abuse, etc. has to be pretty high these days and even then you would be amazed at the people that manage to get their kids back after having them taken away and being told to clean up their act and the low standards they have to maintain to do so. The other problem is the good kids that are in the rotten situations but managing to stay out of trouble and attend school and get good grades are the ones that fall through the cracks. Ironically if this girl was truant, shoplifting, getting pregnant, committing crimes herself....child protection would be all over the situation and involved in her life.

It would be great for the girl to be able to keep the mini at your house in exchange for doing chores and helping out with your horses. The very tricky thing is how to go about accomplishing that. Your home would be a wonderful safe haven for her and I bet you would become a second family and much better role models than her own family.

Have you ever considered becoming a licensed foster parent? You sound like a great candidate and like you would be wonderful foster parents.

Kids in the system get a bad rap but for the most part they are good kids and it is the parents that are all screwed up and the kids are victims of the circumstance. We've done foster care for long enough now that we have former foster kids that are grown adults themselves and we see now more than we did back then what a difference we made for them and we've had them tell us so as well.


----------



## Shortpig (Oct 20, 2008)

Ok so my Dad was a mean vicious person. I had a wonderful dog and came home one day to find he had taken into the woods and shot it. Why? Because I spent too much time running the fields with my dog away from him. Then he got a dog and I spent too much time with that dog so he took it in the woods and shot it. He forced the sale of my horse when I was 12yrs old because I spent too much time riding my horse. This was all out of my control. In my case no alcohol involved just an evil evil person. My mom just looked the other way during this as she had her own battles to fight. I share this because. No one and I mean no one stepped up to help me in any way. Those who knew were too young and had survived themselves.

You can be such a blessing to this young lady. She is not a child she is a young lady who loves her horse. I know how it feels to spend time with such a friend to avoid the horror that awaits from the humans you are supposed to trust. If you can meet her without her knowing who you are and why you should get a feeling for what kind of person she is. I'm guessing this is her last year of school and she will be on her own. With no help from her parents obviously. Maybe she could stay with you or someone you know and help you with your horses and at the same time learn from you and what good homes are made of. Believe me if this horse is separating this young lady from the people in her life they will find a way to get rid of it. God Forbid it is probably the only thing she has that brings light into her life at this moment. It gives her a reason to get up in the morning and still be here on this earth to go to bed at night. I really do understand that.

God Bless you for caring!


----------



## LittleRibbie (Oct 20, 2008)

I really appreciate everyones imput. I spoke w/a friend of mine who runs a couple of horse shows locally and asked if she knows of this girl/horse ( I described her horse because I know they only have 3 or 4 minis that show at the lee Civic Center). And there was a girl at a horse show in a picture that was in her barn. I did call her Mom again this afternoon and told her I may still be interrested in her horse and that I would really feel more comfortable speaking w/her daughter. I did mention that I may even be able to give her daughter part time work....that seemed to peak Moms attention. I will say however on the phone today the Mom did not sound the way she did on Fri. Perhaps it really was just one heavy night of partying.....although my heart is saying not!! I left it with her Mom to please have her daughter call me ASAP. I told her to please call me if anyone else is interrested in the horse and she said she would. I am hoping XXX will call tonight or tomorrow....plan on not mentioning anything other than having maybe some work for her around the barn and just let her know I would love to another horse around....just to see what her reaction is. Will keep every one posted, Heidi


----------



## SampleMM (Oct 20, 2008)

This makes me so upset! Every child deserves good parents. Parents that love them and take care of them. By the sounds of this, she's taking care of herself. Kudos to you for caring. I sure hope you can help her.


----------



## LittleRibbie (Oct 20, 2008)

Oh Shortpig, your story has me in tears. I am so sorry.


----------



## twister (Oct 20, 2008)

Oh I hope you can help this poor girl, I feel so sorry for her and the little mini she takes such good care of. Please keep us updated, I will keep her and you in my prayers.

God Bless

Yvonne


----------



## Reijel's Mom (Oct 20, 2008)

Yaddax3 said:


> If you think the girl is in danger, call Child Services.


Realistically, what is there to report at this point? Nothing that would get investigated, at least not in my neck of the woods.


----------



## HGFarm (Oct 20, 2008)

Well, I can tell you that if the Child Services are like they are here- they are worthless. The parents sit and lie and make the kids lie (or they kids fear they will get the crap beat out of them so do it) and Child Services goes away with no further attention or input and the kids live in absolute HE** for telling. (And of course all others involved were lying too, no matter how many or who it was)

Child Services here are a JOKE, so don't count on them to help much when it's needed.

I hope things work out, and I really feel sorry for the kid. Shortpig that was an awful awful story, but I know some that enjoy being that way and they find it amusing to be evil, and nothing is ever going to change that. That's just the way they are.


----------



## AppyLover2 (Oct 20, 2008)

I read your post and all the responses to it and am sitting here trying to think how to say that I am SO terribly sorry that this young lady seems to be about to lose her best friend. I also want to tell you how very much I admire you for being concerned about the situation. I don't have any advice for you......just a ton of admiration!


----------



## Miniv (Oct 20, 2008)

LittleRibbie said:


> I really appreciate everyones imput. I spoke w/a friend of mine who runs a couple of horse shows locally and asked if she knows of this girl/horse ( I described her horse because I know they only have 3 or 4 minis that show at the lee Civic Center). And there was a girl at a horse show in a picture that was in her barn. I did call her Mom again this afternoon and told her I may still be interrested in her horse and that I would really feel more comfortable speaking w/her daughter. I did mention that I may even be able to give her daughter part time work....that seemed to peak Moms attention. I will say however on the phone today the Mom did not sound the way she did on Fri. Perhaps it really was just one heavy night of partying.....although my heart is saying not!! I left it with her Mom to please have her daughter call me ASAP. I told her to please call me if anyone else is interrested in the horse and she said she would. I am hoping XXX will call tonight or tomorrow....plan on not mentioning anything other than having maybe some work for her around the barn and just let her know I would love to another horse around....just to see what her reaction is. Will keep every one posted, Heidi



Good luck.........but don't count on hearing anything for sure by going through the "mother".

(IMO) going through the school may be the best, under the circumstances.


----------



## Shortpig (Oct 21, 2008)

LittleRibbie said:


> Oh Shortpig, your story has me in tears. I am so sorry.


That is not what I wanted. I just wanted people to understand that not every child has a good upbringing. I have actually done pretty well for myself against many odds. When children come out of these kinds of H**l holes they can be helped over the hump if they find someone who can show them how it should be. I was lucky enough to end up with a very caring sister-in-law as an adult. She had a wonderful childhood so I got to watch her and my brother raise their two daughters and learn from them. My daughter had a great upbringing and I'm proud of that. I trust animals way more than people and that will never change. I am soft and gentle with animals and they trust me. This girl seems to be involved with this little horse in much the same way. She shouldn't lose her best friend because of the home situation she has.

I sure hope she too will find someone who cares about her.


----------



## Valentino (Oct 21, 2008)

Ok, it is an unfortunate situation.

Unless you talk with the girl, there is not much you can do.

The situation as bad as it seems, you don't know the whole story.

People have problems!

Obviously the horse is something special in the girls life, and the fact that it is taken care of proves that!

If you take away that then what will she have?

Perhaps the mother was having a bad day.

They are obviously jealous of the horse.

I think your best course of action is to call the school and speak with the girls counselor, tell the situation and let the counsler handle it from there. The counselor can talk to the girl and is better prepared to discern if there is any other trouble to be concerned about.

One bad day does not entitle the world to judge!


----------



## Sunny (Oct 21, 2008)

Yaddax3 said:


> If you think the mini is in danger, buy it.
> If you think the girl is in danger, call Child Services.
> 
> It's not your place to meddle beyond that.
> ...


In my opinion, this is by far the most sensible reply you've received.

I think you may possibly have read a whole lot more into the situation than what there is, based just on a short meeting with this woman in the feed store (was she there to buy horse feed or what?) and later at her home. You said when you spoke with her on the phone yesterday, she did not sound like she did on Friday, so perhaps it was an isolated incident.

How do you know the girl is unhappy or in danger? How do you know that SHE would feel better having her horse living somewhere 30 minutes away? How and how often would she be able to go and visit it? At least now it's in her back yard so she can do her chores and visit with her horse anytime she's at home. Would you be able to count on this woman or her man to drive the girl to your place? Or would you be willing and able to drive her back and forth every day?

Clearly your intentions are good, and bless your heart for caring, but I think everyone would be much better off if you kept your distance.... at least until you have ALL the facts, and not just a bunch of assumptions. IF the home situation is truly as bad as the conclusion you've jumped to, how can it possibly help the girl to lose her horse?


----------



## nnadams (Oct 21, 2008)

To buy the horse and take it to your place is a nice idea because it would keep the mother from selling the horse to someone else. But like others said, it would destroy what may be the only good thing this young girl has at home and what she has worked so hard to create. I think you should try to hire her to help out around your place. Say that you saw how well she takes care of her horse and you could use that kind of help at your place. You would have to be able to pay her. I am sure she has to earn her own money to pay for gas, food, and all the expenses that go along with being in high school. With going to school, working at a restaurant, taking care of her own horse, & homework, I am sure she does not have any spare time. If this were a simple case of a girl not having anywhere to put a horse and could work for room and board for the horse, that would be great, but this girl probably has to support herself. If you could afford to pay her for her time, it would work out good for both of you. You would have the extra help with your horses that we all could use and you could befriend and earn this girl's trust. She needs an adult mother-figure to trust and somewhere to go to for help IF she needs it. If after you get to know each other and she trusts you, you could offer to board her horse for her if she continues to have a problem with her mother trying to sell it. It would be her choice and not another thing happening to her world that she has not control over. The most important thing is she would have an adult she trusts and somewhere safe to go if she needs it.


----------



## AppyLover2 (Oct 22, 2008)

Hoping for an update on this.


----------



## Marty (Oct 22, 2008)

Hey Heidi, I don't know about down there, but in this school here, they will not allow messages of any kind to be given to children that aren't yours, and they will not discuss a child with you such as the guidence counsellor, that is not your child either.

I'm sorry I have no ideas or insight to offer even though you all know I detest a drunk.

People are assuming a lot of things here. Sometimes

things aren't as they seem so tread carefully.

I just don't know what I'd do in your situation.

Seems its like a D if you do and a D if you don't.

Good luck!


----------



## Taylor Jo (Oct 22, 2008)

To think that the mother will not drink again is naive thinking (sorry) but the description of her house pretty much say's it all and not only that by what they said about the horse and the daughter being with the horse. IF they don't sell it to you the next time she gets drunk she will sell it to someone else. I'm sure when she sobered up she didn't even mentioned it to her daughter. I could be wrong, but I don't think so. Alcholoic's are very selfish people and this mother and boyfriend have an agenda and that's the goal they want to reach and they want to do it w/o the girls knowlegde. They're MEAN spitful drunks. Being sober they may not do the same, but being drunk it's hard to say what they'll do. They're jealous of that girl and that horse and they will destroy the very thing she loves and they DON'T care if it hurts her.

A. You can either hope and pray the mother does talk to the daughter, which I doubt she will, and contact you.

B. Go to the school counselor and say I know you can't discuss the child but I want to make you aware of the situation, BUT they won't do anything about it, unless the girl complains.

C. Turn her into CPS, then CPS will investigate. The girl will lie cause she doesn't want to loose the only home she knows, as it's better then no home at all, as the unknown is far more fearful, and if the horse is there, she won't want to loose the horse. Then when CPS leaves all heck will break loose cause the mother and boyfriend will blame the daughter.

D. So your back to D. buy the horse, give her a job and let her see her horse. I vouch for this one. She's lived with this her whole life and she's in high school and just about ready to leave home, let her get through school and GET OUT. The GIRL is NOT going to GIVE UP THE HORSE no matter what you say she'll try to hang onto that horse and ride out her mothers wrath. She'll plead with her mother but in the end her mother will win. I can almost gurantee it, it may not be to you, but it will be to someone.

E. My only other thing is she being sexually abused by the boyfriend and that's hard to say. No one can answer that but, the girl. However, then again go back to C.

Anyway, this is my take on it for what it's worth. TJ


----------



## Sunny (Oct 22, 2008)

Being sexually abused by the boyfriend???!!!! Talk about jumping to conclusions!!

I think this discussion is getting waaay out of hand. NO one here knows the real situation and none of us has the right to barge in change anything there.

How about another spin on the girl's situation..... Despite a mother who drinks, it would appear that the girl has been working hard at keeping herself on track. She is still attending school (which a major feather in her cap, IMO) and getting excellent marks, she has a job, and she does a brilliant job of looking after her horse. Not every parent of a teenage daughter can say that!

I think if Heidi were to go in there and impose her thoughts and assumptions on this situation, she'd just be opening a Pandora's box.


----------



## Linda K (Oct 22, 2008)

Everyone has made some great points. The one thing I am worried about is that the mother went behind her back once to sell the horse. What if you wait on buying the horse and she sells it to someone else? Maybe someone who wont take care of him. Then she comes home to nothing but the crap she has to put up with at home.

My suggestion would be buy the horse before it goes to someone that doesnt need it, then get in touch with the girl and tell her why you done it and offer her a job at your place. That might be just what she needs to escape the ---- she may be going through. After hearing what the man was saying while you were there, and the way "mom" went about the whole horse thing, I am afraid she is going through more then any of us think.






Good Luck,

Linda Killion


----------



## White Socks Miniature (Oct 22, 2008)

Sorry guys, Im not trying to hijack the thread! But I have a question...

If the daughter bought the horse and it is in her name, but mom is selling, wouldnt there be some illegalities in there?

I also ask this question as my mom has considered the same thing... no she is not a drunk, but she has crazy mood swings and she has threatened it before, when I was younger, I adopted a guinea pig and she took it to the shelter without me knowing. So I know she is capable of doing this.

I have 5 minis now, and they are all registered under my name and I am the one who has bought and paid for them. If she did go and sell them without me knowing, I am assuming it would be illegal and I would get my horses back and she would have to pay the people back? am I correct?


----------



## EAD Minis (Oct 22, 2008)

> Being sexually abused by the boyfriend???!!!! Talk about jumping to conclusions!!
> I think this discussion is getting waaay out of hand. NO one here knows the real situation and none of us has the right to barge in change anything there.
> 
> How about another spin on the girl's situation..... Despite a mother who drinks, it would appear that the girl has been working hard at keeping herself on track. She is still attending school (which a major feather in her cap, IMO) and getting excellent marks, she has a job, and she does a brilliant job of looking after her horse. Not every parent of a teenage daughter can say that!
> ...


I agree, your hearts in the right place but I think every one is getting a little out of control. Your all wonderful people for wanting to help the girl though!!Thats why i love this forum so much, never alone in any situation. But maybe its a "have to be there" type thing. Kind of hard to know whats REALLY going on enless your the girl.


----------



## Miniv (Oct 22, 2008)

White Socks, A lot depends on what the registration papers have on them. I don't know what the rules are with each registry these days, but several years ago a minor had to have a "co-owner" to have a horse under their name.

HOWEVER, a person (mother?) who was not honest could easily forge a signature too.....


----------



## White Socks Miniature (Oct 22, 2008)

I am 22 lol so it is just me on the reg papers. no co signer. Thank goodness I have a few people that would help me out though! I hope this girl has someone to do the same!


----------



## Magic (Oct 22, 2008)

My inclination would be to go to where this girl works and talk to her about what happened. Offer to buy the horse so that it will be safe. Yes, she loses the comfort of having her horse at home, but how long might that last anyway? AND--- I also think that, especially as cheaply as this horse has been offered, there are a lot of us who could donate toward the cost of the horse so that the girl could get him back as HERS. I truly do think that losing this horse would be a devastating blow to her (it would have been to me, at that age). Anyone else willing to donate if it comes to that?


----------



## _minihorses4ever_ (Oct 22, 2008)

Magic said:


> My inclination would be to go to where this girl works and talk to her about what happened. Offer to buy the horse so that it will be safe. Yes, she loses the comfort of having her horse at home, but how long might that last anyway? AND--- *I also think that, especially as cheaply as this horse has been offered, there are a lot of us who could donate toward the cost of the horse so that the girl could get him back as HERS. I truly do think that losing this horse would be a devastating blow to her (it would have been to me, at that age).* Anyone else willing to donate if it comes to that?



I agree. I am around her age, and I know I would not be happy if someone bought one of my horses "out from under me". Ecspecially if I had horrible parents, and my only escape was my horse. I honestly would probably loathe the person that did that. Maybe offer to keep the horse at your place or make sure the horse is somehow in her name (Or atleast not her parents?)? I don't know, but I think buying the horse without even speaking to her first would not be stepping it off on the right foot.

Just a fellow teen's opinion here..


----------



## LittleRibbie (Oct 22, 2008)

Possibly some news. XXX daughter called me this A.M. She sounds like a nice kid. Anyway Im going to her house on Thurs. when she gets out of school. She mentioned a few things which I will tell you all tomorrow....appears this is not the first time Mom has wanted to sell her horse.....but at least Mom gave her my tel #. Update Tomorrow. Heidi


----------



## Taylor Jo (Oct 23, 2008)

I'm sorry if I stepped on any toes. I didn't say she "was" I said she could be. That is the reality in a LOT of cases where the mother is a drunk and the boyfriend is in the home.l SORRY, BUT oh so true soooo many times. BUT, I will keep my mouth shut, I'm just not naive. However, I know it's NOT in EVERY situation. I am happy the mother gave the girl the phone number. I am surprised, she'd got more substance to her then I gave her credit for her and for that I feel bad. I don't have a very high opinion of mothers who are like that. I'm grateful the girl called and hope something can be worked out between the two of you. Having been a foster parent in the past I've just seen a lot of bad things and it doesn't leave a good taste in your mouth. So I am really sorry if I came across to strong, my "point" was she didn't have a lot of choices to go by for the girl that's all I was pointing out and in that it came across harsh and seeming as if jumping to conclusions. TJ


----------



## Miniv (Oct 23, 2008)

LittleRibbie said:


> Possibly some news. XXX daughter called me this A.M. She sounds like a nice kid. Anyway Im going to her house on Thurs. when she gets out of school. She mentioned a few things which I will tell you all tomorrow....appears this is not the first time Mom has wanted to sell her horse.....but at least Mom gave her my tel #. Update Tomorrow. Heidi



I, for one, will be interested in your update! I'm glad the lines of communication are open.


----------



## Reble (Oct 23, 2008)

LittleRibbie said:


> Possibly some news. XXX daughter called me this A.M. She sounds like a nice kid. Anyway Im going to her house on Thurs. when she gets out of school. She mentioned a few things which I will tell you all tomorrow....appears this is not the first time Mom has wanted to sell her horse.....but at least Mom gave her my tel #. Update Tomorrow. Heidi


That is good news, keep us posted.


----------



## minisch (Oct 23, 2008)

I really feel for this girl. I would get involved if I were you. I'd find the girl and tell her what her mother is trying to do. She sounds like she's learned to be a strong individual. I would also call CPS, but see if you can really help her. You could have a major impact on her life, and it sounds like your a nice person and could help her.


----------



## LittleRibbie (Oct 23, 2008)

O.K. Well I went over today and had to wait a few minutes for her to arrive home from school...knocked on the door and got no answer. I just sat in my car and waited. She showed up w/her girlfriend just a short time later. She said, " oh you could have gone out back to see Pye...Mom is probablly passed out on the couch ." I had mentioned that I didnt want to walk around her yard w/no one home.....and I promised my husband I would not go inside their house..just in case ( he's sort of protective like that )

Anyway we made small talk, school,classes she taking and minis. Her horse looked great. SHE brought up the fact her mother is and has been an alcoholic for as long as she can remember and SHE said her mother is always saying she's going to sell him because her Dad bought him for her. She seemed to know that I originally did come by the other day to maybe buy him. That sort of opened the door to say yes, I did come over and yes your Mom did say he was for sale. I explained to her why I didnt take him home right then and there and she I think was grateful. She told me she lives next door most of the time w/her Dad and Stepmom ( they both have horses) and tries not to spend too much time w/Mom. She said Mom would most likely never be able to get rid of her horse w/o the stepmom noticing B/C she is home and out in her own barn most of the day and would notice any trailers showing up next door. And she said that her Dad would kick her(Mom) out of the house ( its His Moms house that she lives in ) along with the other drunks if that ever happened.

IMO She has lots of sense for a young girl and it seems her Dad and Stepmom really play a big part in her life.

I did tell her if she ever needs a place to take Pye he would be welcome anytime....although she said she could bring him next door to her Dads if needed.

She did promise to come by on Tues. to meet my horses...Im thrilled because I dont get to drive both of my guys very often....she's never driven but Skillet is perfect for her and I can take S'mores...so I think shes as excited as I am.

I didnt mention it to her yet but there is a show in Fla. around Thanksgiving....I think Im going to see if she'd like to

keep me company on the drive up...hubby gets bored to soon LOL.

Thanks again for all your advice...Im not sure I did things exactly the way some saw fit...but...I happen to think its a nice ending.....Heidi


----------



## shelia (Oct 23, 2008)

I think it is a wonderful ending (beginning!). You assessed the situation very well and did what was appropriate. You listened and let the circumstances take the lead. It was perfect! This girl when gain so much from having a knew friend like you. Sometimes you don't have to do very much to make a big difference in someones life. i think it is wonderful that she has found someone who won't try to push there will upon her and yet be a friend if she needs one.


----------



## Rebecca (Oct 23, 2008)

Kudos to you for helping out and befriending this girl.



It's great that she'll stop by and drive with you and great to here that Dad and Stepmom are close by. Hope you guys stay in touch and become friends, it sounds like she is a very mature, smart girl who really loves her horse dearly.


----------



## Shortpig (Oct 23, 2008)

You go girl!





















You did what you thought was best and it seems to have worked out great. That's all that matters. I hope she is able to go to the show with you. It's nice to know her Dad is so close.


----------



## nassaunellie (Oct 23, 2008)

You handled it perfectly!!!


----------



## ErikaS. (Oct 23, 2008)

I am so glad you found out what was going on. What a lucky girl to have crossed paths with you!


----------



## Miniv (Oct 23, 2008)

YES!!!!!!!!!



It's not an "ending".......It's a BEGINNING! I'm so glad she has support from her dad and stepmom, just next door......... And now, you can introduce to her the wonderful world of SHOWING!!!

Whew.....What a great result.


----------



## Linda K (Oct 23, 2008)

I think you have done a wonderful thing. I know this child feels she has found a friend in you. Who knows , we may have another girl entering the show ring soon !



and more importantly I think she has found someone else she can talk to. Thanks for caring about this young lady. Wish there were more people out there in the world that would step up.

Linda Killion


----------



## Royal Crescent (Oct 23, 2008)

Sounds like you did the right things here. I am happy that the girl made a new friend, and that she has family close by. I do wonder about the Father though, putting up with an ex next door who is so addicted to alcohol and whatever. I have to work at not being so judgemental, I guess.





Barb


----------



## Sunny (Oct 24, 2008)

I'm so happy for everyone concerned that it has all worked out well. Thank God her dad and stepmom are next door.. It's certainly not "our" job to judge the situation, but the fact that you and this girl can be of help to each other is fantastic!


----------



## HGFarm (Oct 24, 2008)

Oh Heidi, this is awesome!! I am glad to hear her Dad and step mom are close by and that this gal has such good sense at a young age and all. What a shame about the Mom.......

What a fantastic idea to take her to the show with you! I bet she will have a ball! And may open up a whole new world to her too- ha, we all know how that goes.... !!





This is great too, that she has met someone with a common interest who can do stuff with her and show her more about Minis and all. It is apparent she loves horses and is a good kid!

I am so glad you stopped by and waited and met her!


----------



## StarRidgeAcres (Oct 24, 2008)

Heidi,

You are fabulous!



What a great person you are to help this young girl and her horse. It's so great to hear of situations like this because all we usually read/hear about is all the bad stuff in the news and it's nice to know there are people out there like you who are willing to help a stranger because it's the right thing to do. Usually all we hear about are people like this girl's mother.



Please keep us posted.


----------



## rabbitsfizz (Oct 24, 2008)

Hey....from "L'il Beginnings" "Happy Endings "grow!!!!


----------



## AppyLover2 (Oct 24, 2008)

Heidi I just wanted to add one more post to what others have said. GREAT JOB!!!


----------



## Reble (Oct 24, 2008)

Glad to hear she lives with her Dad and step mom most of the time.

Maybe if she has a computer, most teenagers do, tell her about this forum, she can add another family to her life. Sounds like you came into her life for a reason. Bless You


----------



## Reijel's Mom (Oct 24, 2008)

Awesome! Thank you for caring and putting your caring into action. So many don't.


----------



## twister (Oct 24, 2008)

Oh what a relief, I was so worried about this young girl and her mini. You did it wonderfully and she now has a new friend with the same interest in minis that she does, you are awesome for stepping up and helping this girl out. Hugs to you.

Yvonne


----------



## Zoey3 (Oct 24, 2008)

So glad it all worked out!!!


----------



## LittleRibbie (Oct 24, 2008)

Thanks every one, but I didnt end up really doing anything.She ended up calling me because Mom was nice enough or was just able to remember to give her my tel #. I just went there again to really see if her horse was for sale and to meet another mini person. Inviting her over to see my horses is what any one would do....we all like to show off our fur kids!! It just ended up that although there is an age difference...she is just a real nice person and a good kid. As far as me introducing her to the world of showing...NOT....I just love to go watch everyone else. But hey if she wants to bring her horse and show him I'd be happy to bring the trailer.

Anyway, I do want to tell her about L.B. but I think it would only be fair to her if I ask the moderators to delete this post..I just dont see any reason to leave it on here. If anyone else knows how to delete this I would appreciate it. Thanks, Heidi


----------



## barnbum (Oct 25, 2008)

Cool. My barn buddy, Kennedy, is 12 years old and I consider her to be one of my best friends. It seems ages meld together when there's a common interest such as horses.

I love happy endings--and especially that she and her horse is safe no matter what.


----------

