# Divorce and MY horses, thank you all



## Frankie (Feb 12, 2009)

I will try and make it short.

Have been going through a divorce, will be a year on Saturday.

In our state, no kids, all is split 50/50. He asked for his stuff, me mine, added up the totals and he is by far ahead dollar wise. BUT still, he wants half the horses, in my opinion only for one reason.

It has been a year and they are tired of messing with what should be a not so tough 50/50 divorce. So recommendations made by the mediator to the judge to get it over with. They have ordered all to be sold then split 50/50.

My horses are to be liquidated at a sale. Uhhh NO! I have been told if I refuse the sheriff will pick them up. Uhhh NO!

I am beyond beside myself and devistated and hurt and mad and anything else you can think of.

I have talked with so many people hoping to step in and help, but nothing yet, so I am asking for your help, experience, what worked, what didn't and how much is bail?

Of all we have, I asked for only one thing, honest, my horses, but because he wanted "his" half, this has happened.

What do I do? What did you do? How do I keep my cool through this? Keep control?

Game on!

Final hearing, 2-26

So you know, any horse I have gotten this last year, not affected.

Thank you for your time.

Sorry if to personal, but I have asked and checked every where.


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## Reijel's Mom (Feb 12, 2009)

Anyway "fair market value" could be assessed and you either give him "his" half or let him have something else worth that value?

Sad and shocking that things come to this


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## Leeana (Feb 12, 2009)

WOW i had no idea they could do this?? I have a few idea's, then agian i am not sure how the system works for these things anyway, but will email you later on. You could say you "sold" them to a friend and am just boarding them until you move to Kentucky and then will deliver them to your friend



. Im not really sure how you could "cheat" the system exactly on this as i don't have the experience.


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## Mona (Feb 12, 2009)

I didn't read through replies yet, but can you maybe just provide receipts showing that you paid for them, and give him half of that total??


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## Marty (Feb 12, 2009)

The first time I joined the forum, my very first signiture read:

_"Men can come and men can go but the horses stay in my name"_

What does your lawyer advise? As a product of a horse-divorce, my lawyer told me that the court could not force the sale of my horses because they were _my personal pets _and they didn't.......... but if push went to shove, I would make my horses suddenly disappear.

adding:_I would make my horses suddenly disappear._ ( That could probably get you into deep trouble......don't do anything without calling your lawyer!)


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## Brandi* (Feb 12, 2009)

OMG this is horrible. If you don't mind me saying....what a jerk! It sounds like he is doing this just to hurt you! Did he even have anything to do with the horses while you were married? I'm sorry this is happening and I hope it will all work out.


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## crponies (Feb 12, 2009)

I would say sell them to a friend for 2 cents a piece, give your husband his penny, and then buy them back from your friend.


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## SampleMM (Feb 12, 2009)

This happened to a girlfriend of mine and the horses did get sold through an auction. She ended up buying most of them back but it took years. I am sorry you are having to go through this. I hope someone can offer some good advice.


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## Reble (Feb 12, 2009)

Tell the Judge you will give him half of todays market value.

If the Judge orders a liquidation I am afraid you must abide.

Get friends family, and more to go to the sale and tell everyone there what is going on.

Just pray and hope no one will bid on your horses and you can get them dirt cheap.

Sure hope you can buy back as many as you can.

Sorry I am not much help.





Thinking of you in your time of need with prayers (((((hugs)))))) coming your way.

One more thought ask the Judge if you can only sell half of your horses, keep the ones you at least would never want to go. and tell him he can have all the money from the sale of those horses.


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## Miniv (Feb 12, 2009)

If you don't have a lawyer, I'd get one ASAP. If you have one, I'd get ANOTHER.

That just stinks to high heaven.l


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## RobinRTrueJoy (Feb 12, 2009)

My "things" mean nothing to me. My animals mean everything to me.

Find a TRUSTED Female friend preferably one he doesn't know about..

Sell every horse to her for $50.00 if you have ten horses, she will give you a check for $500.00 You can give him a check for $250.00

Cash her check( for the bank record) Do all the amha paperwork.

You can pay her back later and put the horses back in your name later..

If he complains about the money, tell him, Hey the market sucks right now!

I hate that women get nailed to the wall in divorces!

I wish you all the best,

Robin


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## dreaminmini (Feb 12, 2009)

Sorry to say...But what a FIRST CLASS JERK!!! I hate that men think they can do that! My friends husband abused her, she had him arrested, she was left to pay for the mortgage and look after all the bills while she was being treated for cancer, now he wants half the house, the possibility she will have to pay him rent for being able to stay in the house and some of HER pets. He had nothing to do with them except pet them now and again. Let's give an abuser his wife's animals...yeah that's smart (I am being sarcastic)

I'm sorry you are in this position. Is there still any chance you can negotiate a buy out? You did say the his assets came out ahead of yours in value. Therefore you should have a buffer zone there...you should be entitled to more than half the sale of the horses. Can you get the horses estimated by professional evaluator and then pay out any difference you may have above your equal share to assets. Not sure how well I explained this.

Say your assets are $5000 and his are $10,000 and say the horses are evaluated at $8000. That makes you now $3000 more than him...hence you really only have to pay him $1500. Just a thought.

If not do you have anyone that can buy them at the sale and then let you buy them back? Just pray the bidding doesn't go crazy.


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## Minimor (Feb 13, 2009)

This really sucks.

Consider very carefully before you take the advice to sell all to a friend for a minimal amount--get legal counsel on that one, because I'm really not sure that you can legally do that. Perhaps if you had sold them 6 months ago, but now that this has been ordered it will be quite apparently that you sold the horses as a dodge and I think that the judge could order the horses seized from whomever you "sold" them too. I'm pretty sure that is what had happened with a lady on another board when she did that awhile back. I'm afraid I don't remember all the details and don't know what the outcome of her situation was.

Is everything you own together to be auctioned off this same way and the proceeds split, or is it only the horses? He's already getting a bigger share of the possessions so I do not see how he is entitled to 50% of the horses as well. Fair would be having the horses appraised and that amount added to your share, then see what the difference is...or if not appraised then use the purchase price from when you bought the horses. To me, that would be fair....but then I am not a man.

Get yourself a ball-buster female lawyer and fight this!!


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## Feather (Feb 13, 2009)

Many times when two parties can not agreed the court just orders all sold & then the proceeds are divided down the middle. So much of it turns from plain spite. A fair apprisal that can stand up in court(by a so called "expert") in the field; they are stamping a "Present Value" to an item can establish a share to be moved to your side of the division. YOU CAN REQUEST for another mediator at an impass stage. NOT ALL mediation is binding, some are, was there an agremment of such when this mediator started for the court?

One word one way or one word used another way makes a world of difference in court. LAWS ARE INTERPATATIONS as seen by the lawyers & judges. Its who's eyes are reading them! Lawyers are expensive & a lot is done to plain raise their own fees BUT you can not get through court without them. Each locality is soo different. We can only suggest areas for you to look, then you'll have to find how it fits you in your area.

With the mini world prices soo low right now an appraisal could be much better than chances at an auction. Surely there is something the other party places value in that could be appraised for a trade-out of values. Sometimes, one divides & the other chooses their half? Is there a way to load up a side they should want more?(present before a judge?)

The judge just wants it off their docket, so if you can share some light to make it eaiser than you may have a better chance. Name calling just makes a judge mad; facts speak.

Good Luck...


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## mydaddysjag (Feb 13, 2009)

Can you have your own private liquidation auction, as in hiring a professional auctioneer to come to your property and hold a small auction.

Only invite close friends and family, and start the bidding at $1. Therefore they were sold at auction, you have a receipt from a professional auctioneer, and proof that they were sold.

How many horses are we talking about?


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## Frankie (Feb 13, 2009)

It has been hard as he has been so back and forth and changing his mind about every 6 weeks.

I so very very much appreciate your thoughts and ideas. Thank you so much.

We believe the answer is a combination of what was said here and in a PM

I so hope it works.

Thanks again

I will let you know


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## Wee Mite Miniatures (Feb 13, 2009)

Years ago I got involved in a rescue case. Because of a divorce the animals were not being taken care of, two had died. This involved two large horses, about 10 mini's, a bird and a few dogs. We ended up with one of the mini's when the two big horse and one mini's escaped and were picked up two towns over.

We placed calls to every one we could think of and NO ONE did anything because the divorce lawyers were involved. The wife refused to sell her mini's. They were in her name. The husbands attorney finally advised him to sell the horses. They were each sold for $50.00 each. The checks were made payable to the TOWN they lived in and applied to the property tax due on the joint property. Seems it was all legal. Property owned at the time of marriage sold with the money going right back onto property owned at the time of the marriage.


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## RobinRTrueJoy (Feb 13, 2009)

Do you have a piece of Jewelry that belonged to HIS mother or family? Could this be used as leverage???? Could you offer this family"heirloom" back to him?

Robin


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## sfmini (Feb 13, 2009)

I hope that you are going after half of HIS stuff! What a pig.

If you have a sale, those of us who can come will do so and will bid super low amounts, like $5 or so. In this market, you need to be careful of how they are valued, you might be way ahead money wise to go the sale route and buyback rather than pay him half of what you bought them for. BUT, the more expensive route might be easier emotionwise on you. Just let us know what we can do to help.

sure am glad i never married, the divorces i have seen are just awful and nasty and mean.


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## Marty (Feb 13, 2009)

Carolyn, I think Jody is on to something.

Maybe you can set up an online auction page. And all your friends here can bid starting out at something like fifty cents and not go over $5.00 !!!! and then sell them right back to you. I'm sure you can find a good team of professionals right here also to be your appraiser if you go that route too.


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## Connie P (Feb 13, 2009)

Carolyn,

You have been given some great advice here so I am just going to give you a hug ((( )))


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## sfmini (Feb 13, 2009)

I know at least in the past the rules around auctions for repossessing a horse were weak. You could run a small classified ad saying you were going to auction a horse. Do it on a day inconvenient for most, run it at your home. Sell each horse for a buck and screw the ex. (not literally of course!)


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## Sunny (Feb 13, 2009)

RobinRTrueJoy said:


> My "things" mean nothing to me. My animals mean everything to me.Find a TRUSTED Female friend preferably one he doesn't know about..
> 
> Sell every horse to her for $50.00 if you have ten horses, she will give you a check for $500.00 You can give him a check for $250.00
> 
> ...


I don't know about the laws in IN but, in OH, the horses in question are considered part of the marital property and *cannot* be sold at this time, and neither can anything else. I know someone in exactly this position, and they are STILL waiting for the judge's decision on the division of assets. The "final" hearing was back on Dec. 9. (And, trust me, it's not just the women that get screwed in a divorce!!) Unfortunatley, it may well happen that the horses will be sold at auction, and THAT's where your friends will be able to step up and help. Your lawyer really is the best one to advise you on this.

I just went through a divorce last year, and can relate to your frustration. My heart goes out to you!


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## minie812 (Feb 13, 2009)

If they sell them at auction I would get friends or family to bid and with the market down you may be farther ahead then trying to buy his share. Divorce always sucks. My mom always told me "there is a fine line between Love & Hate & it doesn't take much to trip over it" Good Luck


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## JMS Miniatures (Feb 13, 2009)

I got a question and I'm not sure if it has been answered or not.

Who's name is on the papers of your horses?


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## Russ (Feb 13, 2009)

Frankie, I am so, so sorry that you are having to deal with this.......lots of prayers and strength to you!

I'd like to offer an opinion....and it's only opinion so take it with a grain a salt. I would remove this post. Why? If he reads it and prints it.....he could try to use it against you. If he's vindictive enough to make you sell the horses....then anything is possible.

Not trying to scare you, just trying to help.

You've gotten some excellent advice from members here. I wish you all the best!


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## Shaladar (Feb 13, 2009)

The "type" of auction is what I would check into. Small backyard auction?, Auction house auction? Which?

And since he want 'his half', is he going to pay for 'his half' of all the feed, vet, farrier, board, etc., that you have incurred since he left? That adds up, ya know.

The more upset you get, the better satisfaction he gets. He knows how to twist the knife. Saying that, I know I would be in a murderous rage, but, that's just me.....

I wish you the best, and please keep us updated. Even way out here on the west coast, if I can help, I will. This happened to a friend of mine several years ago, and I attended the auction (fortunatly small backyard type) and bought her horses , (along with other friends) transferred them into my name and then sold them back to her.

Sue

added: Oh, and by the time all was said and done, he actually owed her money for his half of the upkeep of the horses. These were big horses. In California.


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## Frankie (Feb 13, 2009)

Sorry


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## Frankie (Feb 13, 2009)

My lawyer just called. The court sent over an order for me to get an Equine Appraiser.

To get a price on them, have to get 2.

Maybe to come up with a dollar amount I can use to trade him?? Not sure yet. But I hope.

Thank you ALL SOOOO much. Your support means a lot.


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## Reble (Feb 13, 2009)

Frankie said:


> My lawyer just called. The court sent over an order for me to get an Equine Appraiser.To get a price on them, have to get 2.
> 
> Maybe to come up with a dollar amount I can use to trade him?? Not sure yet. But I hope.
> 
> Thank you ALL SOOOO much. Your support means a lot.



Oh hope this works in your favor.



Good Luck


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## Kim (Feb 13, 2009)

If he is entitled to half of the horses' value, he also must be on the hook for half of their expenses since separation - be firm on this point. When you offset the expenses (that you have paid for 100%) against the appraised value of the horses it may very well be that you don't owe him much at all.

Make sure that you attribute an amount to each horse for upkeep and care since the time of separation - make it as much as reasonably possible. Take into account vet and farrier bills plus board. You can charge significantly more for board if the horses have not been living at the marital home/property, but even if they have you are the person who goes out everyday to feed them and that is worth something. Don't forget to add up how much you have spent on feed and bedding. Also, if you showed the horses during the separation, count your entry fees and show expenses (hotel, gas, shavings, your food, etc.) as you can argue that showing adds to their value.


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## Sonya (Feb 13, 2009)

I'm so sorry you are dealing with this...it's just not fair or right. I don't have any advice just wanted to say "stay strong"...you'll figure something out and get through this nightmare.


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## sfmini (Feb 13, 2009)

How about billing him for all that nursing care and financial support when he was sick?!


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## kaykay (Feb 13, 2009)

I had a friend go thru this a couple years ago. Have the value established but make sure you use an appraiser that actually knows mini values. Right now they are very much down and they have to go by todays value not what you bought them for. Get the appraised value, write him a check for half, have him sign over all rights and be done. But I do agree then he is also liable for 1/2 the upkeep bills during that time and that is what my friend got.

I know it sucks but sometimes writing a check and being done with it is worth more than the stress of fighting


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## susanne (Feb 13, 2009)

I agree with Russ -- print or copy all responses and then ask the moderators to remove this thread. If he is this vindictive, who knows what he might use against you. Paranoia has always served me well.

Take care, and I wish you the absolute best.

susanne


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## Frankie (Feb 13, 2009)

Thank you all so much for your help and concern.





I turly appreciate each one of your responses.

There are a few reasons I am not concerned with the thread.

For one, he doesn't even know how to turn a computer on. Never cared to learn.

For another, as mad as I am, I am not asking for advice for anything illegal. I will abide by the law, but I also know there is more than one way to do most things. That is where my question came in.

It's not like my fighting for my horses is a secret with him, that is why he is doing this.

I will take the advice of my lawyer, and I will stay within the law.

Too, maybe this thread will help one more person who might be concerned with posting it here, but still need to know.

Jody, I cared for him right at 14 months over a 2 year period. So I had thought of that, just knew I wouldn't get it.

I might of been embarrassed any way, he filed for divorce after the last illness that lasted 7 months, so maybe I wasn't that good of a caregiver.





Thanks


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## sedeh (Feb 13, 2009)

I'm so sorry you're having to go through this. Talk about stress! If something ever happened to my marriage(and you never know!) the animals would be what I'd be worried most about. I wish you good luck and hopefully some fairness will prevail. I definately would charge him for 1/2 the care of the horses since he's claiming 1/2 ownership. If they do force an auction I can't imagine the prices would be very high. If your friends "bought" them they could sell them back to you later. Good luck with this! I know you'll keep us posted.


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## Hosscrazy (Feb 13, 2009)

What I did was I got my horses appraised, and then gave him half the money of their appraised value. I kept the horses, and he got the cash value of half their appraised worth. That way I didn't lose my horses and he got his share of the value. Wlorked out well for both of us.

Liz R.


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## Watcheye (Feb 13, 2009)

THIS IS BS!!!!!!!



I am so sorry for your troubles! I dont know what to say! I dont know what to do. This is really cruel.



My thoughts are with you.


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## StarRidgeAcres (Feb 14, 2009)

So sorry you're going through this. As if divorce isn't hard enough, you've got the threat of losing your babies hanging over your head. Makes me mad as heck!!

As for getting an equine appraiser, that might be the best thing that could possibly happen! The values in today's market will be pennies on the dollar compared to years ago. Give him his $500 and tell him not to let the door knob hit him!





If you have to have an auction, please let all of us know so as many of us as possible can attend.


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## TheCaseFamily00 (Feb 14, 2009)

I'm in Indiana as well,if I could help at auction i'd try




. Hopefully you can straighten things out before they go any farther



.


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## wcr (Feb 14, 2009)

I'm very sorry you have to go through this. On the light side, I read this whole thread and told Terry if he ever tried to do this he would be a dead man. He said he would only take what he came into this relationship with and I asked if he would take Bob the cat and his filly Bonnie. He would take Bob but leave Bonnie here and I said you would leave me with that spoiled rotten filly? She is very sweet but she is his filly and spoiled absolutely rotten.

Hope things work out for you.


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## hobbyhorse23 (Feb 14, 2009)

Oy.





All I can say is this is a firm lesson to me on the importance of getting pet ownership in writing BEFORE I get married someday. My current sweetie loves my animals but I don't think he'd ever try to take them because for one thing he knows what they mean to me and for another he also knows how much they'd cost him to feed and keep healthy!



But the mere thought of having my animals considered as marital assets that could be auctioned off...








I swear the pre-nup will read "What was mine before the marriage is still mine, what is his before the marriage remains his, things we each buy with our own funds are ours, and the value of what we buy jointly or out of the family account will be split 50/50 (individual items to be traded for equal shares)." I want any horses he buys me signed into my name and added to the agreement as being a free-and-clear gift to me! It would be like selling my children to lose my fur-family.

I'm so sorry you're going through this Frankie.

Leia


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## susanne (Feb 14, 2009)

Good to hear that he's computer illiterate, Frankie! Now I can stop worrying about THAT part (though not the rest)

I love my husband dearly, and this IS Valentine's Day. That said, if something like this happened to me, I'd likely go with *S.S.S.*

(It's not just for killer dogs anymore...)


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## krissy3 (Feb 14, 2009)

It breaks my heart that this is happening to you. I cant even write how I feel about your husband doing this to you. Can you call your friends and ask them to buy your horses from you before this happends , and give him the money..at a later time you can buy your horses back. hope it works out


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## Frankie (Feb 14, 2009)

Wow

Thank you all so very much for your ideas and support. I appreciate it so much. Each time I went to the barn I almost felt fear, but that has gone away.

They're not going anywhere and I know that,,,,it's just a matter of what goes for them to stay or how much the check is.

Thank you all so much!!


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## Taylor Jo (Feb 16, 2009)

Carolyn, I can't EVEN imagine what your going through right now. It's beyond my comprehention that you would have to go through such an AWFUL thing. I can't imagine this day in age that the court makes you do something like that. I thought women's rights had come further then that. Their treating them as solely property and nothing else. How terrible and devastating. I'm sooo sorry and my heart goes out to you. My prayers go out to you and I hope in some way you can keep them. )))))HUGS(((((( TJ


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## Shortpig (Feb 22, 2009)

First let me say how truly sorry I am you are going through this horrible time. This is why I have chosen to just stay single. I went through was started out to be a truly ugly divorce years ago. He was even stupid enough to put threats in writing. Can we say "Dumb Guy"! So I used the dumb guy thing and turned on a little sugar. I even suggested we got along much better when we were just dating than married. How nice it would be to get back to those days. What an idiot, he bought it lock stock and barrel. I walked away with the house, my vehicle, what was in the house and the pets.

He Walked away with the brand new vehicle and the huge payment that went with it had to live in an apartment and what little furniture it would hold. Needless to say life was good. Also he had a restraining order that I chose not to remove. My brothers convinced him he needed to just let it go and leave me and my daughter alone.

I am late in this so I am hoping all has turned out well I saw a date of 2/26 as the last court date.

I wish you the best in your future and happiness to follow you forever.

Marie/shortpig


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## Jill (Feb 22, 2009)

I fully agree if he's entitled to half their value, then he owes for half their care since he's been gone!!! Do your spring shots, coggins, etc. NOW so he can participate in that bill for "his" horses.


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## Frankie (Feb 22, 2009)

Thank you all so much. We are working on things I am unable to talk about at this time.

There has been a year of talk, you get this, can't have this, I get that. It has been a year of just big talk!

But now. Reality is starting to hit me hard.

Today was the only day the Equine Appraiser could get out. As I watched him writing down things, taking pictures, the screwdriver in my gut got turned and twisted more. Then handing over copies of all their paperwork. I just can't explain.

The final hearing is Thursday, I can't wait for it to be here, and I hope it never comes.

I could use some good thoughts for that day.

Thank you


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## kkay3702 (Feb 22, 2009)

i had a friend go through this and sold all her horses to closefriends for a dollar, making them technically not hers.


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## AppyLover2 (Feb 22, 2009)

I'll definitely be thinking of you on Thursday and hoping that things go the way you want them to. I realize there may be necessary delays in spreading the word but please let us know as soon as you can. Fingers are crossed .... toes too. GOOD LUCK!!!


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## TheCaseFamily00 (Feb 23, 2009)

I'll be thinking of you this week.


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## dreaminmini (Feb 23, 2009)

I'm soo sorry you are going through this. I will pray that this works out in your favour. And will be praying extra hard and thinking good thoughts for you on Thursday. Keep us posted and let us know if you need any help.


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## Magic (Feb 23, 2009)

Adding my good thoughts and prayers for you Carolyn, fingers crossed and sending {{{hugs}}}. Good luck, and let us know if there is anything we can do!

That appraiser had better know what he's doing.


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## Leeana (Feb 23, 2009)

You have an email Carol, anything i can do just let me know...

***Good thoughts***

I hate to see things like this happen to good people





- Leeana


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## picasso (Feb 23, 2009)

Our thoughts and prayers will be with you that everything works out great for you on Thursday. If there is anything that can be done let us know. We aren't too far away from you, in Kentucky.


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## Frankie (Feb 23, 2009)

OH my goodness, ohhhhhh my goodness how things can turn around.

He sent over a different offer today, I signed to accept it, I can not share the details, afraid to jinx it,he has to sign it still. He has changed his mind before.

Nerves are bad waiting for a call saying he signed it.

When he does and the judge signs it will give more details.

Thank you all so very very much for the support, and some so far away.

Thank you

Thank you!!!!!


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## Crabby-Chicken (Feb 23, 2009)

OMG I hope it all turns out and is done for soon for you! Keeping my fingers crossed!


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## mydaddysjag (Feb 23, 2009)

Wishing you the best


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## Barbie (Feb 23, 2009)

Hoping for the best - keep your chin up! Things have a way of working out. I'll be looking for a post hopefully soon saying that he has signed the agreement.

Barbie


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## Tenltraining (Feb 23, 2009)

Frankie, we are sending good thoughts and prayers your way, keeping our fingers crossed that you get to keep your horses! Take care and things just might work out well for you!!! Keep your chin up! Laura


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## Trinity Farms (Feb 23, 2009)

Frankie, tons of prayers coming your way from TN!!!




God will get you through this!! Hope everything works out,Amelia


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## kkay3702 (Feb 23, 2009)

Oh I hope this all works out, your in my thoughts and prayers


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## dreaminmini (Feb 23, 2009)

Fingers crossed, fingers crossed!!! Hope everything turns out good for you!



Hope he signs, keep us posted!


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## Bess Kelly (Feb 24, 2009)

Sooo hoping this goes smoothly for you.





Has your attorny put "all of our" names on this document?



I'm certain we all feel like we are a part of this heart wrenching settlement. None of us care about the couches and cars/trucks, but the HORSES?



How dare they mess with such love.!!!!!!!

You will feel all of us right there next to you!! We are there. Breathe deeply.


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## Leeana (Feb 24, 2009)

Frankie said:


> OH my goodness, ohhhhhh my goodness how things can turn around.He sent over a different offer today, I signed to accept it, I can not share the details, afraid to jinx it,he has to sign it still. He has changed his mind before.
> 
> Nerves are bad waiting for a call saying he signed it.
> 
> ...


Cannot wait to hear details


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## Frankie (Feb 24, 2009)

Pull up a chair, sit awhile, how about a good book or two and a nice sparkling wine,,,because it's going to be awhile.

He didn't sign.

It was his offer he sent to me,,,I signed it as is, no changes,none,,sent back to his attorney,,,just heard, he is not signing it.

How? Why? Get me off this merry-go-round with a roller coaster hill. I do not understand at all. No explanation provided.

Here we go again.

Hard telling how long now.

Won't take up more of your time, I'll let you know when it is actually over.

That is if the forum is still up and running in the year 2043.


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## sedeh (Feb 24, 2009)

> Pull up a chair, sit awhile, how about a good book or two and a nice sparkling wine,,,because it's going to be awhile.He didn't sign.
> 
> It was his offer he sent to me,,,I signed it as is, no changes,none,,sent back to his attorney,,,just heard, he is not signing it.
> 
> ...


What a jerk!









I'm so sorry you're going through this. :arg!


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## TheCaseFamily00 (Feb 24, 2009)

I'm so sorry



.


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## Shaladar (Feb 24, 2009)

You ask why he would do this? One word......Control.

Hopefully the Judge will take all his whining and game playing into account.

And you are not wasting our time.....we are a family here......we care.

Sue


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## Barbie (Feb 25, 2009)

Sounds like he's playing you - I can't call him here what I'd like to. Hope your hearing goes well.

Barbie


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## bonloubri (Feb 25, 2009)

Looks to me that if he was making the offer he should have had to sign before it was sent to you. If he sends another reasonable offer I wouldn't even bother with it unless he has already signed it. Perhaps that isn't the way it works legally though. I don't know.


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## afoulk (Feb 25, 2009)

Too bad that you are having to go through this. I would also think that if he made the offer and you signed it it would be a done deal. I guess now I would not even deal with him. Go through his attorney and maybe he will tell him to sign it once he sees that he made the offer. If I was a judge that would just tork me off to see that you agreed to an offer that he made and then he rejected it. But then you can never tell about the legal system. Hope things get better for you

Arlene


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## hahler (Feb 25, 2009)

And some people wonder why im still single


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## Gini (Feb 25, 2009)

Carolyn, I have to wonder about his attorney. Did he send you the paperwork? Usually all paperwork comes from the attorney if you have one. I can't believer he is allowing or being apart of this pi** A** of soon to be ex's antics. If he is a report should be filed with the bar association concerning this attorney that jerk has.

Sorry Carolyn I was really hoping this would end it for you.

Gini


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## Miniv (Feb 25, 2009)

Frankie said:


> Pull up a chair, sit awhile, how about a good book or two and a nice sparkling wine,,,because it's going to be awhile.He didn't sign.
> 
> It was his offer he sent to me,,,I signed it as is, no changes,none,,sent back to his attorney,,,just heard, he is not signing it.
> 
> ...



Definitely a jerk. I bet he was "testing the waters" with you....... Be sure that the judge knows he sent you the offer, you signed, and he didn't. If you don't have an attorney, you need one. Oh, and if you didn't keep a copy of that offer, get one from his attorney.....after all it has YOUR signature on it. You need it for your records (AND to show the judge.)


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## Basketmiss (Feb 25, 2009)

Carolyn we want to hear and help if possible so dont worry about taking up everyone's time. We care and are hoping for the best thru this ordeal...


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## Charley (Feb 25, 2009)

"Hugs" to you. Sorry that things are like they are.

I hope and pray that this judge comes to a quick and fair settlement and this can be put behind you very soon.


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## dreaminmini (Feb 25, 2009)

I'm so sorry you are going through this. You are not wasting our time and by the amount of replies there are a lot of us who care very much. I wish there was more we could do. A friend of mine is going through something similar and you won't believe what her husband is doing!!! He beat her and she had him arrested, he managed to get off only because he beat her on a Sunday and she didn't report it until the Wednesday. and now he is trying to sue her civilly because he lost some friends and was embarrassed at work as that is where they arrested him and he also wants to take the house of which he has paid no mortgage for almost 2 years now. What I would like to do to him is not legal. Some men can be scum...but women are much smarter and you will get through this!!

Follow the earlier advice and keep copies of everything and if you can tape any conversations with him. Use anything and everything you can against him. Make sure the judge and/or arbitrator knows about this and any other offers he made and then changed his mind on. Keep talking to us!!!!


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## Watcheye (Feb 25, 2009)

What a JERK! Im sorry he had your hopes up.




My thoughts are with you and your horses!


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## Reble (Feb 25, 2009)

Oh so sorry





I really believe, what goes around comes around


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## casilda (Feb 25, 2009)

I hope everything turns out good for you ... keep positive


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## Frankie (Feb 25, 2009)

Nothing today.

Court tomorrow at 1pm

Can't answer some of the questions and others just shouldn't be said for the world to see, for now.

Thank you again so much for your support, it is truly appreciated.

Only one more sleepless night, right?


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## CyndiM (Feb 25, 2009)

What a scum ball. He had better look over his shoulder often because what goes around comes around.

Someone, someday will pay him back. He should read up on doing GOOD deeds and how they are rewarded.


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## SSMFarm (Feb 26, 2009)

Have been reading posts and realized that it was the 26th. Sending prayers from SC. Go in there strong with your head held high! Will be waiting with everyone else for the Good News!!!!!


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## Barbie (Feb 26, 2009)

Prayers for a good outcome today. Stay strong!!

Barbie


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## AppyLover2 (Feb 26, 2009)

Just wanted to let you know I'm thinking of you today and hoping things go well.


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## Maple Hollow Farm (Feb 26, 2009)

I am so sorry you are going through this, this is why all of my horses are in my name! But for my birthday I wish that you get to keep all of your horses!



Hey its worth a shot.


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## valshingle (Feb 26, 2009)

I just found this thread, so I may be late with this advice.

I went through a divorce in 2006 and we were separated for 1.5 years before the divorce was final. Anyway, I decided to move out of state before the divorce was final. He had already moved to an apartment. Our house/horse property was going to have to be sold. I said I wanted to take the horses with me - none were ever registered in his name. His lawyer objected to the horses leaving the state. My lawyer was a horse person I had known for years and was a 'ball-buster'. When his lawyer objected, we simply said ok I'm moving anyway so my husband would have to take over all responsibility for the horses and find a place to board them. My lawyer and I even offered to take the horses over to the apartment and tie them to his door. We then went through the depreciated value of the horses (most high end ones were bought/owned by my parents and consequently weren't involved) and what the areas current board rates were (including training to keep their value up). My ex, who was reasonable throughout, told his lawyer that in no way did he want the responsibility/expense of the horses and that I could have them. I did sign away my rights to his 401k in exchange (which wasn't worth much).

Maybe some of this will help you with a tactic.


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## Reble (Feb 26, 2009)

Sure hope your day went well.

When you have a moment please update us, if you would like to share.

I am sure you are tired, hope your day ended Ok for you.

Thinking of you in your time of need


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## sfmini (Feb 26, 2009)

Carolyn, I am hoping that the day went well for you.


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## Frankie (Feb 26, 2009)

Sorry guys, have been mentally exhaused and came home and slept some.

Like every divorce in the world, there is no winner. To sit and listen to a man say in 10 seconds, you are no longer married, and you aren't, is some what hard to take. We worked to be married for ten years and weren't married in ten seconds, or so it seemed.

The hearing seemed to take forever. Several times back and forth on things not yet agreed to, some things not agreed upon at all, was decided for us.

But,,I was given the house, I can now offer my son stability. Was given my truck and the trailer. My tax return had been frozen, it is now only mine.

I was given all horses and all their tack/equipment. I am paying him no part for them, or for any of the above.

We did have 2 very large bills acquired when now ex was sick. I will have to pay half of both of those. I expected that but it is the only thing I owe him for.

If you know anything about me and my horses, you know what they mean to me,,,I love them all but especially Prints. For the beginning of her life I hand fed her every hour for days. Today I get home, the boys are lounging, as usual. The rest of the girls are playing in the lot, except for Prints. She is standing at the gate with her head peaking through. Not her. Get out of the truck and walk to the house, she walks down the fence line same direction as me.I go in the house and take care of the dogs, look out the window and Prints is in the same spot staring at the house. Again not her. So I head on out to see what's going on. The boys pop up, yeah supper time! Get their hay and grain, go to the girls side, put grain in pans and am ran over as usual, but Prints never moved. I walked over to her, knelt down and she walked around me, put her head on my shoulder just like she did as a baby, and just stood there. I shed a tear or two, ok, or 5 million, and I told her we were all going to be ok, giving her a kiss on the nose. She then pushed me over, pawed one time at my leg and ran and pushed Sam out of her feed bowl. She is the Queen and they all know she does what she wants.

Did she know? I can't say for sure, but what she did for me in that minute was exactly what I needed.

To all of you, and I mean each one of you, I can never thank you enough.


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## TheCaseFamily00 (Feb 26, 2009)

I'm happy and sad for you, big hugs.What would we do without our horses



,I think some horses do know when we're sad. We're here for ya if you need us.


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## Miniv (Feb 26, 2009)

Carolyn,

What a huge load of stress - GONE. It sounds as if it went well for you. Did Prints "know"? You BETCHA she did!


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## dreaminmini (Feb 26, 2009)

YAHOO!!!! I am so happy for you!!! You get to keep your horses. AWESOME NEWS!!!!

I'm so glad I shed a few tears too after I read the part about Prints.



They know, those special ones know.


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## crponies (Feb 26, 2009)

I feel so relieved for you! That is wonderful that you get to keep the house, truck, trailer, and HORSES free and clear. I'm sorry you are going through this tough time but at least this part has gone your way.


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## minih (Feb 26, 2009)

I have not posted before now, did not know exactly what to say. I could only imagine if it were me in your shoes and the possibility of losing my life as I know it. Couldn't think of any thing helpful. I have been keeping up with your story tho, and so glad things are not going to fall any more apart than they have. You get to keep your horses--Yeah! I know you are relieved this part is over. <<hugs>>


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## Reble (Feb 26, 2009)

Oh as a tear is coming down my face, I would just love to say!

You go girl, and Bless you... I am truely happy for you and your horses.

Wish you the best, in years to come..& lots of ((((hugs))))

Do not know why this has happen but as we always say as one door closes another will open.

thanks for sharing



and God Bless.


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## Erica (Feb 26, 2009)

Sounds like things turned out pretty good. At least you got what meant somthing to you. It is sad that things can be over , just like that. It will take a while , but in the long run you will be better off. As far as the two bills, just pay on them when you can. I had a friend in kindof the same situation, and she was told as long as she made an effort to pay ( even a dollar a week) there wasnt anything they could do. Just do what you can, thats all you can do. I am happy for you, and will continue to think of you and your family.

Linda Killion


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## eagles ring farm (Feb 26, 2009)

Sounds like all went as well as can be expected, never feels like a win when

things have fallen apart

As sad as things can seem, there is a whole new life around the corner

and when your ready to embrace it, you will and be much happier

It's been an exhausting time for you i'm sure

you'll pick up the pieces and things will be great again

((((HUGS)))) to you,and when your done mourning cheers to your new life

where ever it takes you, just hang on for the ride.


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## susanne (Feb 26, 2009)

I think Prints said it best, with her silent yet eloquent love and support.

Anyone who knows the love of animals knows that this is what it's all about.

Take care,

susanne


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## Mona (Feb 27, 2009)

I am so happy for you that things worked out as well as they did for you, in regards to the horses. At least now you know where you stand, and you can can on with your life.


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## mydaddysjag (Feb 27, 2009)

Im SOOO glad you got to keep what was important to you.


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## Barbie (Feb 27, 2009)

I am so glad things worked out the way they did. Divorce is never easy, but things do get better.

You bet Prints knew you needed her - these horses are so smart.

Take care. Hopefully the worst is behind you now and you can get on with the rest of your life.

Barbie


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## Connie P (Feb 27, 2009)

Carolyn,

I'm glad this is over for you now and you can start to move forward - one day at a time friend. My motto that I have lived and breathed by for the past three years is this:

"And this too shall pass............."

Hugs!


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## kaykay (Feb 27, 2009)

I so feel for you. Im so glad though that it is over and you can move on with your life. I dont know how but I do think those special horses know when something is up. I have cried many tears into Patches mane.

Thinking of you!

Kay


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## MountainMeadows (Feb 27, 2009)

Carolyn

I am so glad this is finally behind you - stressful for sure, but it sounds like it worked out as well as it ever could have.

Did Prints know you needed a hug? Of course she did! I have a mare that I have nicknamed "million dollar mare" due to all of her "issues" in her life - and I swear she can understand every word I say to her -- my hubby is totally dumbfounded and watches in disbelief when "Sammi" and I communicate - even he doesn't respond to my requests as well as she does -- we often underestimate our animals, but they are there for us - unconditionally.

Hugs ((( )))))

Stacy


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## MeadowRidge Farm (Feb 27, 2009)

Carolyn, Waht a stressful, but happy ending day. I was so glad to hear you got to keep all your horses, and house. Especially Prints..and she showed you just how happy she was about that and said it best, after her hug to tell you oshe loved you so much..it was.. YAHHHHHOOOOO... off to the feed bowl. What would any of us do without the love of our animals? They mean the world to so many of us.


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## Shortpig (Feb 27, 2009)

[SIZE=18pt]*Oh Yeah! Oh Yeah! Carolyn gets her horses! Oh Yeah Oh Yeah! Carolyn gets her horses! *[/SIZE]


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## Crabby-Chicken (Feb 27, 2009)

I am sorry it is a sad time for you. Glad you got to keep some VERY important things though. It will take a while. And all you can say when you get up in the morning is! " Yay, this is a new spring, a new happy life with way less stress!!!!!


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## CKC (Feb 27, 2009)

I had not posted earlier, but I have been praying for you. I'm so happy that you don't have to worry about your horses now.

I have a few horses that are just like your special mare. They always seem to know when I need their support.

Kim


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## REO (Feb 27, 2009)

I'm SO GLAD! I had been praying for you too! I know that it hurts to be divorced (I went through that once too) and that you may be kind of shell shocked right now. But you still have what is truely important! The house for you and your son, the HORSES! And your stuff.

Oh yeah Prints knew! I'm glad she was there to give you that hug you so badly needed!

Take care of yourself Carolyn! {{{{Hugs}}}}


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## AppyLover2 (Feb 27, 2009)

Carolyn I know from experience how crushing a divorce can be, even when "things" are divided the way we want them to be. One of the phrases I heard after my divorce that kept me going and helped me cope was "*Today is the first day of the rest of your life*". I know it's not new but sometimes it just means more than at other times. Accept that that part of your life is behind you, don't accept more blame than you should, look ahead and move on. You still have your son, your home and your horses.....*LIFE IS GOOD*!! (((((hugs))))


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## Gini (Feb 27, 2009)

Carolyn, life is good!! *Today is the beginning of the rest of your life.* You and your son can now live without this hanging over your heads. Without the threats from the jerk, pressure of not knowing from one day to the next etc etc. Please give that special Patches some huge {{{{{HUGS}}}}}from all of your forum friends.

We love you!!!

Gini


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## Davie (Feb 27, 2009)

I've been watching this also and you have been in my thoughts and prayers during this situation. Been there done that, so I know how exhausting the end can be--my marriage ended just short of 15 years and like you said married one minute and divorced in 10 seconds or less.

Just remember, it is the start of a new chapter in your life--when GOD closes a door he opens a window. It has been almost 25 years now OH! and I look back and I've done OK--raised two boys, got one through college and one half way through, they are both grown men with families and now I'm having FUN with the grandkids. Things are not always fun as I don't have a partner to lean on when times are tough but I have a TON of friends to lean on for those tough times and they have seen me through a lot.

You came away with what was important--a roof over you head, your precious son, and the horses that mean so much to you. Step out your front door, breath deep of the new day AIR, and say ITS A WONDERFUL NEW DAY, and take the first step toward a new and wonderful rest of your life.

Carolyn, you are a strong and resourceful person and you will continue to do well.


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## sedeh (Feb 27, 2009)

It's finally over! I'm so glad you got to keep what's important to you. Now you can re-group and get on with your life. {{{{HUGS}}}}}


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## Taylor Jo (Mar 1, 2009)

Sooo glad you get to keep your horses and a home for your son. Even get to keep the truck and trailer to haul the horses in. Smart judge. I all but about gave up hope for you. God knew what he was doing. Glad things worked out. Sorry things ended the way they did for you as they did though.

But, like some have said this is a new chapter of your life. You have your son and you have the horses. Take one day at a time. Hang on to them and prayer. {{{{HUGS}}}} TJ


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## kkay3702 (Mar 1, 2009)

Oh thank god that worked out ok. I'm so happy for you and your horses! Now you can relax and know they are safe with you


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## Basketmiss (Mar 1, 2009)

Yeah Carolyn... I'm so glad it turned out that you got your hearts wishes. You made me cry with the Prints story-she sounds like such a sweetie. She knew you needed a (((HUG))) and a shoulder so she was there for her as you have been for her and the others. This is a relief for you and your son, I'm sure...

Remember we are all in charge of our journey-just see yourself happy and fulfilled and YOU will be... No more letting that man control you, your life, and your journey...

I also cant wait for you to get Little Miss Tennessee, I want to see pics of that...

Missy


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## fancyappy (Mar 1, 2009)

I am so happy for you. After all you have gone thru, you must be exhausted now. I am so sorry you had to go thru this but I know you can now put it all behind you and enjoy your horses again.


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## Shari (Mar 2, 2009)

I am glad you get to keep the house and your Fur kids. <Hugs> I feel animals know when people are down and sounds like Prints is just what you need. She will take care of you.


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