# I may have gottedn fired from my job today



## rockin r (May 30, 2008)

Tis afternnoon one of my bosses was tell me and the seccretary to have agoos weekend, all was fikne. Then he told me ...bear with me as I am cring and once angaain shakking uncomtrolably.."Try not to kill any of your horrses this wekend" when I told himm that was uncalleed for he said let me refrase thatt..."tell yourr horses not to killl themselves this weekkend" I went offf on him. And walkked out.I am a christiann woman and the words that camee out of my mouth are nott repetable! HE KNOEWS THAT I AM ON MEDDICATION FOR WHAT HASS HAPENED HERE THE LAST 6 WEEKKS. He thoughht he was being funy. Idont even remember the 33 milee drivve home..I need that job. but i cannt go back..what am I gooing to tel aRT?? I am jsut sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo done...


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## Marty (May 30, 2008)

Teresa that was a lousy thing for the jerk to say. A complete cheap shot.

Anyone that has been through what you have would have done the same thing and then some.

Try to calm yourself down.

I am so not kidding when I tell people to have a nice cup of herbal tea.

That really does help.

Trust me I know.

I'll talk to you later.((((( )))))


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## Maxi'sMinis (May 30, 2008)

Art will not judge you. You are right in your feelings about what was said. I think I would feel the same about going back too. Prayers everything will be ok for you. Your a good person and God will be with you.

I agree you need to go into work Monday. It will be a tough one. Maybe even call your boss and speak with him before to much time goes by. I bet he feels sorry for say what he said.


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## Songcatcher (May 30, 2008)

Unfortunately, sometimes things to not come out the way a person means it. Hope that is the case here and it blows over quickly.


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## Jill (May 30, 2008)

I really do not think he meant to be hurtful. We've all said things that didn't come out the way we meant them to. His choice of words was bad but not intentionally mean.

You'd mentioned before how understanding the job has been and let you have time to tend to the sick horses, etc., and once that your boss and seen you on camera dealing with things and I think told you to take the next day off?

I'm an employer and I try to be very considerate and understanding to my employees. If I'd been giving one of my assistants time off to deal with family type things and then she went off on me because I accidently said something wrong... it wouldn't be good and would go over w/me like a ton of bricks.


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## R3 (May 30, 2008)

Try to calm down for now. You will see things a little clearer when you are feeling less upset.

Unless you want to give up your job, it doesn't sound like you have been fired yet, and that you can go back, if you want to. One blow-up on your part, considering the pressures you have been under, and considering his remarks, shouldn't be enough for you to lose your job over.

If you still want the job, it would probably be a good idea to go into work on Monday and as the first thing you do, apologize to the boss about what you said. It might be hard to do, since his words were callous, but is it worth losing a job over?

Or, you might just go in and see what happens, see if it has blown over, or if you need to address it.

Maybe, he will even be the one to come up to you and apologize for being a jerk. He might not have realized how much of a sensitive subject he was dealing with, and he may now feel bad about what he said.

I hope things work out for you, whatever way you want to go with it.

PS - If you have a civil service job, you do have appeal rights if he tries to fire you, and you can fight it with a good chance of winning and keeping your job.


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## mininik (May 30, 2008)

I agree with Jill. Good luck.


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## REO (May 30, 2008)

I agree with some of the others.

That being said. What he said (in MY opinion) was UNCALLED for! I can't imagine that he meant that in any nice or friendly way. He knows what you've gone through and your frame of mind through it all.

Instead of saying it again with different wording, he should have apologized.

People who are not animal people don't understand that our horses, dogs, cats, etc ARE OUR BABIES.

They just don't get it.

I would write a note apologizing for blowing up and using bad language, then explained WHY I had blown up over what he said. Explain that your horses are like your children and his saying that was VERY painful to you. And I'd say I hope we can smooth this over and go on with better understanding of each other. I KNOW it would be very hard to do, but it's your job on the line.

I'm here if you need me Theresa. {{{{Hugs}}}}


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## Dairygirl (May 30, 2008)

he sounds like my father. Can have a heart of gold but can stick his foot in his mouth big time. Mostly showing out to others I work with. I hate that crap and like you it hurts because it seems like it always comes when you are at the end of your rope.

Since my husband left for Iraq I cry at the drop of a hat most days. So where I use to stand up and fight when some one hurt me now I stand up fight and cry.

So don't feel bad. We all understand. Stay strong. Your husband will understand. Mine always does.


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## Bonny (May 30, 2008)

Theresa, that was a very insensitive thing he said to you. I can understand the shock you must have felt when those words were uttered.

I agree, go in Monday and try to explain the situation and hopefully yall can settle this.

Sending hugs.


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## minimomNC (May 30, 2008)

I bet he feels very bad for making you cry, and non horse people just don't understand. Give him a chance to apologize to, then make him beg you to stay.


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## Baydreamfarms (May 30, 2008)

I feel so bad for you! What he said was def uncalled for and you have every right to be upset. I know how bad nerves can get, I have to take medication for mine. Take a nice warm bath, mull over the thoughts in your head, write down how they made you feel. Never discount your feelings and never feel bad for following your heart and saying how you feel. If he was being as good as I have read about the past instances he probably feels as bad if not worse for what he said.

I too would go back in on Monday, but I would def be medicated to say the least. I hate confrontation, but this situation def calls for a meeting with the boss to make sure he knows how it hurt you and to be the bigger person and try to maybe apologize for what you said. The apology is solely up to you, if it a good paying job that helps with the expenses with the horses it may be worth it.

I am so sorry for what just happened, I hope over the weekend things calm down and you are able to process your thoughts and figure out what is best for you. You will be in my thoughts as Monday approaches.


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## dreaminmini (May 31, 2008)

I agree with the others. I was definitely uncalled for and hurtful what he said to you! I would have gone off on him too! Since he seemed to have been a decent boss with you before I'd give him a second chance. Is he one of those guys that seems to stick his foot in it or tries to kid around and not many people get it? I'd go and apologize for blowing up and tell him how it made you feel. He prob does feel bad and you may end up hearing from him to apologize before the weekend is over. If not, good luck come Monday. Try and let those thoughts go for now and take a cup of tea and go sit with your babies



I know that would def calm me down.


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## CyndiM (May 31, 2008)

Nothing to add you've already gotten good advise. So here's some ((((HUGS)))) to help you feel better.


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## Mona (May 31, 2008)

I too hope that you will go back to work on Monday as you always do, and that you and your boss will be able to discuss what happened there today, and work it all out between yourselves. Good Luck!


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## Jill (May 31, 2008)

Because it might save your job, I'm chiming in again with what may be an unpopular opinion, but again, I am an employer so that is my perspective on this situation.

If the same happened with me in your boss' shoes and my employee came in on Monday with a chip on her shoulder waiting for me to apologize, she'd have something else to be angry at me for (fired). Don't get to feeling all self righteous with people patting you on the back and telling you he should or might apologize. Great if he does, but don't act like he owes it to you.

He may not always be right BUT he is always the boss.

Really just sounds like he tripped over his words and that your job has been a lot more understanding than many other employers could be about time to tend to the horse issues.

Good luck.


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## Sonya (May 31, 2008)

I agree with Jill. Jobs are way too hard to come by today. If I was you I'd go in on Monday and you apologize calmly and just tell him you were under alot of stress and you know he was just kidding around. Chances are he will also apologize and say he was just joking. I know a very dry sense of humor and not a funny comment, but some people just don't understand the love we all here have for animals. I can sure you from the other things you've said about him, that he did not mean it to be hurtful. Hang in there! ((hugs))


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## Joanne (May 31, 2008)

Actually if you know your bosses phone number I would contact him over the weekend and not let this fester.

It would be better to go in Monday knowing it was behind you and having talked this out.

The longer you wait the more steam gets built up on both sides.

Good luck and hoping you keep all your animal friends online posted with the outcome. We would hate for you to loose your job over this.


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## rockin r (May 31, 2008)

Good morning all.....Thanks to everyone who gave advice on this post. I had a good nights sleep and a somewhat clearer head this am. Let me clarify my job/employers...I work at a partnership of 4 clinicians. 2 females ( LCSW-RMT and LMFT, Ph.D.) and 2 males (LADC, and BS/CADC). I am the Office Manager. Three of them are wonderful to me and the secretary. The LADC is the one who I am at odds with. Both males are avid hunters. The CADC is a kind and caring man. The LADC is cruel with his words and means to cut you with them, and if you call him on it he says I was only kidding. The other partners have had several meetings with him about the way he says things, and tell him his words are uncalled for and hurtful. And he will do better for a few months then start again. It don't matter what the subject is, if it is a sore spot to you, he will pick at you like a scab till you bleed. When it comes to animals especially, he is heartless. He told me last Thur. I should re-name my ranch to "Kill'em Ranch"... I told him to please not go there, and I left the room. He has cattle and he is always comparing my horses to his cattle. To him it is survial of the fittest. Nurture the strong and the weak will die out. He could not believe that we would spend the money to have Dreamers surgey. What he told me was "A bullet is cheaper than a sleeper"! I said nothing, just gave him a look. The one boss who saw me on cam scrubbing the barn most of the night was the Ph.D. She is the one who emailed/called and said to take the day off and get some rest. And he "usually" does not say hurtful/cruel things in front of the partners, but there has been times that he has and they call him on it. As an employer, as far as I am concerned he was out of line. When I told him that was uncalled for, he should have backed off and let it alone, but he did not. He came right back with a "re-phrase" and THEN when I got upset he told me to get a sence of humor! Again, uncalled for. IF he don't like the time off that the sec and I have had for family reasons, then he should tell us! I am on salary, and I NEVER pay myself for family time off. He has NEVER once said anything about me being out with Dreamer. I am in meetings with them at least once a week and I thank them for their understanding and patience with my horses. They tell me to do what ever I need with my horses.

I got 2 calls last night from 2 of the partners, the sec. called one of them after I left and told what happened. They were appauled to say the least. They both said that they would understand if I did not come back, but to please come in on Monday so we can all sit down and talk about this. As I told them I truely need this job, and work is hard to come by here. I know that there is nothing that can be "done" with him. He is a full partner. And I don't expect that. He needs to get an understanding of what being a BOSS/EMPLOYER is, and not to continually pick at, cross or even step on the line, and think it is OK because he said I was only joking. No matter how he feels about animals or other things, that is his opinion, and he IS entitled to that...But he needs to keep those opinions to himself unless he is asked...(My personal life is none of his business, BUT, as my employer, if he did'nt like the 3 days off I had with Dreamer, Fri, Mon, Tue. he should have said something) Animals and other things are important to other people, and he should respect that. His way of thinking is not EVERYONES way of thinking. My animals are taken care of to the BEST of our ability. We put our hearts and guts into each and everyone. I am not to good to say I am sorry for calling him a Heartless M%$#[email protected]#$%^,,,,, and a few other things, whether I stay or not. I should not have said those things, being in the professional business that I am in, it was uncalled for and very unprofessional of me and I will apologize for it.. I am willing to work this out with him, but he, as an employer, is going to have to respect his employees and their personal decisions/emotions/opinions.

Jill, I have no intentions of going in Mon. with a chip when I talk with the partners. Nor do I expect an apology from him. But what I do expect from him is to keep HIS "sence of humor/opinions" to himself. Just because he EMPLOYS me and the sec. does not give him the RIGHT to do or say the things he does to us. He IS aware that the things he says are hurtful and wrong but, he has the ATTITUDE that since he is the BOSS he can say or do whatever he wants. Just because he is the boss, does not make it right.


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## RJRMINIS (May 31, 2008)

I truly believe NO employer has the right to talk to you that way, Just because they are your BOSS< does not give them that right.......Any employer that acts that way, will never have employees last. You should treat others the way you want to be treated, and I think what he said is heartless. I have never been a person that could take someones mouth running off like that, and I am very good at telling them where to stick it. There are other jobs, and I will never be one that feels I have to continue working where someone has disrespected me, whether on purpose or accident, an apology would be nice, and maybe you could go on....... But we totally understand where you are coming from...........what means nothing to some people, means everything to others, and if you know it is something they have poured their heart into, and you have to pick at it, that is cruel.

I realize this is hard for you especially with getting along with all but him. I would go in on Monday and see what happens, I would not apologize personally, obviously the other partners understand, and If they want you to stay I would not let him run you out, just go on, and if he ever brings up another word, I would tell him that if it is not to do with business you do not want to hear it.

Ok........off my soapbox.........I just hate people that think they are the boss, means they can say anything they want and get away with it...........if it is business fine, personal crosses the line!


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## Charley (May 31, 2008)

I've always said that you have to have four things to stay with a job...you have to like the work, like the pay, have input on things (some control), and like the people you work with. If you don't have all of these things you will evenutally leave. I also strongly believe that only I can make me look bad, no one else can. I am responsible for my own actions no matter what I think made me do whatever I did.

*You and this employer need to respect one another and be respectful of each other at all times.* I do hope it all works out for you.


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## Floridachick (May 31, 2008)

He totally overstepped the line. I would slap an "emotionally distressed and harassment lawsuit on him, maybe then he would learn to shut up! Sorry this happened.


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## minie812 (May 31, 2008)

He knows what buttons to push on you to get you upset. Talk about an insecure person & not to mention totally unhappy person. Go in Monday...he thinks he got to you. Do not even give him that. You are a better person then him. Go back in and let them ALL know your NOT going anywhere and that if he continues HARRASSING YOU that you there are avenues to follow to put a stop to it. Let them know you are documenting everything he says and does to you...and DO document it all. If you quit you may be able to get your unemployment because of a hostile work place but you need to document. Been on both sides of this issue but go back on Monday!


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## Brandi* (May 31, 2008)

Yep I agree







minie812 said:


> He knows what buttons to push on you to get you upset. Talk about an insecure person & not to mention totally unhappy person. Go in Monday...he thinks he got to you. Do not even give him that. You are a better person then him. Go back in and let them ALL know your NOT going anywhere and that if he continues HARRASSING YOU that you there are avenues to follow to put a stop to it. Let them know you are documenting everything he says and does to you...and DO document it all. If you quit you may be able to get your unemployment because of a hostile work place but you need to document. Been on both sides of this issue but go back on Monday!


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## Sonya (Jun 1, 2008)

If it was me I'd just let his words roll off my shoulder. He is just ignorant and I wouldn't even address it. I would never let any boss demean me, but he is your boss and basically he can do and say anything he likes (as long as it's not sexual in nature) let's face it, everyone is replaceable in this world. It is up to you to decide if his stupid words are enough to run you out of there or if you just ignore it.

You are lucky you were able to get time off to take care of your animals, a man I work with was denied time off when his father was dying of cancer. The doctor had given his father tops 48 hrs to live and was under hospice care. My boss denied this guys time off on the basis that there was someone taking care of his father (hospice) so he was not needed there. Unfortunately my boss has the right to make that decision even though he is not a doctor, and this is a govt job none the less. His father died 4 hrs after the conversation, so he was able to get the time off to attend the funeral. I also was given a hard time at work about taking three days off to take care of my mother after she had surgery to remove cancer from her lung. Unfortunately, we all need jobs and it's up to us to decide what we can deal with.

I am not saying a boss is allowed to say and do whatever he/she wants (especially dealing with sexual harrassment)...there is a fine line and only the the employee can decide when that line is crossed.


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## Jill (Jun 1, 2008)

My opinion is still he didn't mean to be hurtful and just used a really poor choice words. On the other hand, if he is "just a jerk", does he honestly make you miserable enough to be out of a job?


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## rockin r (Jun 1, 2008)

Jill said:


> My opinion is still he didn't mean to be hurtful and just used a really poor choice words. On the other hand, if he is "just a jerk", does he honestly make you miserable enough to be out of a job?


As I said in the prior post, he "Does" mean to be hurtful, if he didn't mean to be, he would not have re-phrased, his MO is to keep on saying hurtful things until you break...A person can only take so much, and you will break. The words he "choses" are meant to hurt or belittle you. He has even been in conversations that he will "pause" and say how do I say this? Say something hurtful and then laugh. I am the 4th Office Mgr. there in 7 yrs. The last one told me she could not take "him" anymore. I thought she meant he was demanding of the Off. Mgr. (she was kind of lazy). I was way off base. I have been there for three yrs. And he started after about 1 1/2 yrs on me. The sec. has gone out to her car and cried on several occasions. Her PICKS at her about her children. Does he make me miserable enough to be out of a job??? Jill....from what I read in your posts, you are a person that stands your ground when you believe that you are right in the situation. And WOULD NOT let anyone tell you different untill proven otherwise. And I can't see you letting ANYONE belittle/and say mean and hurtful things to you on purpose over and over again and because they said I was only joking, it would be okay with you. He has proven time and time again that he is a "an insensitive jerk" and is not going to change. I have talked to him till I am blue in the face. Tomorrow will be "my last talk" with him. I have a very good resume attached to me. I pride myself in this. Art and I have decided that it is time to look for other employment.


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## Jill (Jun 1, 2008)

I do stand my ground and speak up for myself in all facets of my life. There's nothing wrong with doing so at all but you have to be willing to accept the consequences. For example, I might take more ______ from a client with $5M with me than one with $100K. It's just a matter of what it's worth to you, like anything else. If I needed the job, I do not think I would let someone who's a jerk drive me out because I still have a house to run, horses to take care of, etc. I didn't realize you were really ready to basically have your say and quit / be fired but if that's the case then go for it! I hope it all turns out well for you as I know you're a good and sincere person.


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## Charley (Jun 1, 2008)

I think you have come to a good decision. It is very hard to work with someone that you don't respect and who doesn't respect you. If it doesn't happen now, it will only be a matter of time.

I hope you find a new job quickly. Believe me, and as another poster has mentioned, good jobs are hard to find in the current job market. I hope everything goes well.


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## SilverDollar (Jun 1, 2008)

I hope all goes well for you tomorrow, Theresa. You have had a difficult year and you don't deserve this type of treatment (no one does). I hope the three partners at your current firm come to realize what a huge liability that fourth partner is...they will one day soon be facing a lawsuit because of him.

Good jobs may be hard to come by but so are really good employees. Theresa, it sounds like you are an asset to your current company and would be an asset to another one. Good luck with your job search!


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## AppyLover2 (Jun 2, 2008)

I'm sorry about the things that were said to you in a spiteful / hurtful way. It's been my experience that there may come a time in our life when we have to decide whether the paycheck we're getting is worth the emotional turmoil we go through to get it. Heaven knows you've had enough stress lately without someone you work with adding to it. Good luck with whatever decision you make.


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## kaykay (Jun 2, 2008)

I hope everything goes well today!! I unfortunately worked for someone very similar a few years back. It was miserable. I tried to hang in there as long as I could but ultimately I had to leave.. My husband and kids all said I was just not myself while I worked there. The constant stress of working with someone like that was not worth it in the end and I left.

Anyone who would make remarks like that knows they what they are doing and it is to be mean and nasty


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## Barbie (Jun 2, 2008)

Theresa-

Hope all went well today.

Barbie


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## rockin r (Jun 2, 2008)

Barbie said:


> Theresa-
> 
> Hope all went well today.
> 
> Barbie


I started a new thread.....They did not fire me...


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