# Is it legal to post a - rude e-mail on a website that



## LisaF. (Jul 27, 2008)

I received a rude e-mail back in May of this year. It is horrible and talks about me and other miniature horse owners.

I pay for my website - so, is it legal to paste it on too my website?

Or would you contact an attorney before doing this?

I thougth other's may have had experience with this and would know.


----------



## Charley (Jul 27, 2008)

I would guess the email belongs to you. I don't see why you couldn't post it on your own website. But if you want to be sure certainly ask an attorney.

I think ethically...I wouldn't do it. It just seems that then you are stooping to the level of the writer of the email. I would not be happy with myself if I posted it just because I could. I would prefer to just ignore it...not give them the satisfaction of knowing that they upset me. Mean people will come back at you too, so I would just leave it alone. "Two wrongs don't make a right."


----------



## bingo (Jul 27, 2008)

It is done on another horse blog site all the time.


----------



## Minimor (Jul 27, 2008)

bingo said:


> It is done on another horse blog site all the time.


Which is a very good reason not to do it on a personal website. "That" site is hardly the site to go by if you are looking for good etiquette!


----------



## Jill (Jul 27, 2008)

Lisa --

If you can just let it go, it would be better for you, I think. If you put it on your website (not a lawyer, but I bet you can do it legally), all you will do is let some jerk know that after 2-3 months, an email they probably put 5 minutes worth of effort into is still upsetting to you. Don't give them that satisfaction.

There's actually a funny (to me and some others) email that *I *sent to someone recently that I'd thought of putting on my website so others could see it, too, but decided not to, at least so far. I'm sure I can do it legally but those who don't know what's gone on won't fully appreciate how funny it is






Just not worth it when it's a negative thing someone else sent. Don't give them the "joy" of knowing that it still upsets you.

Jill


----------



## Leeana (Jul 27, 2008)

Jill



:wink

Lisa, just let it go and do not post it on your website, what good would come from it? Now if it was a scammer or something of that sort, maybe, but other then that i would just delete that junk from my inbox as it would mean nothing at all to me



.


----------



## Reijel's Mom (Jul 27, 2008)

I agree with what others have said. Plus, if I went to a website to look at sale horses or what-not, I'd be uncomfortable if it appeared there was something argumentative in nature on the site and I'd probably excuse myself from doing business with that person in a real hurry.


----------



## LisaF. (Jul 27, 2008)

I am glad I have posted this - I have thought about adding it to my website for a long time. I *think* I could do it legally. I am sure it would be best to know for sure from an attorney before I would do it.

I guess what bother's me it is from a HUGE very well known farm. In this e-mail this ONE PERSON talks about what they think of me and other miniature horse breeders. It is really a put down to alot of us! This farm is looked UP TO so much - even by me for many years. It is a " shocking e-mail" to me anyway. I didn't expect this person was this way at all. I do realize NOW some people already knew, but I didn't.

As of right now, I think you guy's are right. I won't stoop to her level, but until I decide 100% I won't be deleting it.

Thanks everyone for giving me some advice - I think I really needed it.

Just out of curiosity ( I don't plan on posting the e-mail) can someone tell me about this other blog? I have no idea what blog you guy's are talking about. You can PM - what is really sad I don't know anything about blogging as they call it..LOL.


----------



## bingo (Jul 27, 2008)

Minimor said:


> bingo said:
> 
> 
> > It is done on another horse blog site all the time.
> ...


Agreed etiquette is not taught there. Sure is a place to go when you are looking for a dose of reality after reading all the herd sire/ top show quality material adds though!


----------



## Connie P (Jul 27, 2008)

Well for me Lisa I would just discard junk like that as soon as I saw it. I have never had that happen in email, but I don't even know if I would read it all the way through. That is just how I am. I do not let other people knock me. I really would just let it go and don't give the person the satisfaction of knowing that it bothered you at all. Some people just have WAY too much time on their hands and they like to spend it degrading and hurting others. It really is kind of sad.

I wish I could figure out how to PM you but with this new setup I am a little challenged and haven't figured it out yet LOL. Just keep on truckin - don't let others get you down.


----------



## Irish Hills Farm (Jul 27, 2008)

LisaF. said:


> I am glad I have posted this - I have thought about adding it to my website for a long time. I *think* I could do it legally. I am sure it would be best to know for sure from an attorney before I would do it.
> I guess what bother's me it is from a HUGE very well known farm. In this e-mail this ONE PERSON talks about what they think of me and other miniature horse breeders. It is really a put down to alot of us! This farm is looked UP TO so much - even by me for many years. It is a " shocking e-mail" to me anyway. I didn't expect this person was this way at all. I do realize NOW some people already knew, but I didn't.
> 
> As of right now, I think you guy's are right. I won't stoop to her level, but until I decide 100% I won't be deleting it.
> ...


I think plenty of us know by your post here, just which farm you are referring too. I think it would be in your best interest to let it go. Sometime people say things that they don't really mean in the heat of things. LET IT GO.


----------



## Denise (Jul 27, 2008)

The longer I am in horses the more I like my dog.





I had a lady email me once with a not so nice opinion on one of my stallions. I emailed her back and told her when I ask for her opinion I'll let her know. Told her to park her opinion where the sun dont shine. Haven't heard from her since.

You just have to let things like that go. Who are these people to you? Do you really care what they say or think? Hit the delete key and let it go. There are alot of stupid opinionated people in this world. Don't let it waste one more minute of your time.


----------



## minih (Jul 27, 2008)

I agree with the others, let it go. I have learned that anytime you bash someone or hold them up for persecution, whether it is merited or not, always comes back and bites you in the rear. You come off looking like the bad guy instead of the other, even if they did something awful. Drop it, forget it and move on. Why let someone elses bad attitude effect you?


----------



## Leeana (Jul 27, 2008)

Irish Hills Farm said:


> LisaF. said:
> 
> 
> > I am glad I have posted this - I have thought about adding it to my website for a long time. I *think* I could do it legally. I am sure it would be best to know for sure from an attorney before I would do it.
> ...


I was just going to say, if it has to do with what im thinking it does ...it will be in your best interest to let it go ...


----------



## Charley (Jul 27, 2008)

I have always believed that the only person who can make me look bad is me.

This other person has already made themselves look bad to you...think about it. If you post it.....


----------



## LisaF. (Jul 27, 2008)

Thanks everyone I really appreciate the help. It is sad that because this person is who she is, she will get away with it.

I guess what bothers me the most is the e-mail was not directed to-wards me only.

I have tried to hit that delete button...LOL. I do forget about it for a while and then I start going through to delete old e-mails and it smacks me right in the face every time.

I DO think I need to take everyones advice thought. I had debated for a very long time on what to do. After reading the threads in this post I think I have made my decision NOT to add it to my website.

I will try to delete the e-mail someday...LOL. I just don't think I am ready to do that just yet.

Connie - I am still trying to figure out the new forum set up also...lol.


----------



## Jill (Jul 27, 2008)

Now that my memory is refreshed, oh yes... I would let this go big time. I'm not even sure you are reflecting on the situation objectively but it wouldn't serve you well to put it on your site.


----------



## LisaF. (Jul 27, 2008)

But, see - this is the part that get's me. I am not the type to back down if I feel I am in the right.

It seems like most of you know who I am talking about - Just because this person has so much power in the miniature horse industry - why does the little guy like me - be the one to back down and say it is ok - you can treat me and other's like you just did.

The complete e-mail was rude - but, this quote bothered me the most ( I think - there was alot of them)

*Exact Quote*

I am so glad ( stallion's name inserted here) is old and tired because so are we from dealing with people like you.

To me that is a SAD Quote!


----------



## Charley (Jul 27, 2008)

But words are many times spoken and taken back or forgotton; emails do leave a trail but it is still your word against hers in the long run. You caught her at a very stressful time. Please just let it go. I know for me I don't want to know, I am only guessing and feel that she may have been at the end of a long road, had many more irons in the fire and feeling fired upon, and you were the last straw. *Not defending anyone*, just trying to understand both sides of an issue that I am not sure of. I hope you will be the bigger person and just let it go....


----------



## Minimor (Jul 27, 2008)

I'd have to agree with the others--you would do best to let it go. The thing is, you weren't exactly in the right--I'm not defending the writer of that e-mail and am not commenting on how rude it was or wasn't--but this could have been avoided if you had familiarized yourself with how things work in regard to this matter. You believe you were in the right, but the other party could very easily show you up as being in the wrong and it just doesn't pay to take on anyone--big name farm or otherwise--over an issue like this. You are not in a position of strength on this one and posting the e-mail is not going to do you any good at all. It may actually cause you more problems and I suggest that it's just not worth it.


----------



## LisaF. (Jul 27, 2008)

*I thank everyone for their opinions and yes, I realize I need to let it go*.

Minimore - I don't mean to sound rude - but, a lot happened behind the scenes that you could not possibly know about unless you talked to me in a very lengthy conversation and seen several e-mails and the same for the other person. Until you know BOTH sides 100% you or anyone else could not possibly know the whole story. Since, you have not talked to me ( and we don't plan too..just to make this clear to everyone) you can't know.

*I only posted the SAD QUOTE!* Maybe I just took it sad - I am kind of emotional sometimes. I won't go on to explain where I see this as sad.

I am going to try and make this my last post on this thread.

I will say it again - I really do appreciate everyone's thoughts and as of this time I will NOT be posting the e-mail on my website or anywhere else.

Oh, and I did want to add...I did* NOT *want this post to turn in who is right and who is wrong. I only wanted to know if it was legal or not.


----------



## Minimor (Jul 28, 2008)

Lisa, you DID post the whole sorry story on this board and many of us did read it before it all got deleted. Even if there was more that you did not post, you told us all plenty enough for us to form opinions. You're the one that brought up how right you are and I simply pointed out that who is right is entirely a matter of opinion. The other party would surely not agree with you and my post was simply meant as a warning not to get yourself into trouble.

But it's no worry of mine if you do get yourself into trouble with whomever else, so have at it!


----------



## LisaF. (Jul 28, 2008)

Minimor - Can we please stay on topic of my original question?


----------



## Sonya (Jul 28, 2008)

Since I'm in the dark here about the whole email thing, I'll stick to your question. I am not a lawyer, but yes, I would think it legal to post the email to your sight as long as you didn't alter it. However, I agree with whomever said that if I was looking to buy a horse from you, the nasty email on your site(even though not from you) may turn me off from purchasing from you. If your site is about horses and sales (I'm assuming, I haven't looked at your sight), I'd stick with the basics.

I'd say if you want to blog the email or whatever, that's entirely up to you. If it makes you feel better, then do it, but be prepared if there were to be an consequences from it. Like I said I have no idea what it's about, so I'm just speaking in general terms.


----------



## Irish Hills Farm (Jul 28, 2008)

I totally agree with Minimor. Plenty was posted by you originally on this topic, plenty of people read those posts between you and the other farm to form opinions. You were not in the right and you don't want to go up against a farm like that, they have a reputation that I'm sure they are willing to protect. That other farm does happen to visit LB from time to time. *LET IT GO*


----------



## Jill (Jul 28, 2008)

Lisa, I do really agree with what has been said.

I also read those posts on this forum before they were deleted (months ago) but I have to say "my memory is good, it's just short". I remembered the other farm name, what happened with the member in question, but not that it was *you* interacting with them. When I read the back and forth, I sympathized more with the other farm based on what was there for all to (quickly) read.

The quote you gave isn't in any context. You present it as a stand alone remark. It could be off base or right on target depending on what interactions happened between "you" and "them". I've said harsher words to people and have not been off base nor been one bit out of line when the entire circumstance is open for consideration.

If you keep on with it or put the email on your website, it would be something you'd wish you hadn't done I think.

Another way to think of it also is do you think the individual you have an issue with is sitting around pondering the situation, or do you think that person has moved on and living life as normal? The only one still "upset" about it is you, because you're letting it upset you. If you can just make yourself let it go, you would feel a lot better.

You're allowing "it" to be a bigger deal in your life than the other person is, I'm sure -- but you are also "re-instigating" a potential conflict by airing part of it here (again).


----------



## JMS Miniatures (Jul 28, 2008)

Lisa here is the problem. This "farm" is very well known, and alot of people respect them, if they see the negative email you know what you will probably not change their mind about this farm and instead take you on as the bad guy. Unfortuantly in most cases its true. Neither one of you was right or wrong, it should not have even been brought up on a public forum in the first place. Before this hurts you more then it will them, please just let it go.


----------



## LisaF. (Jul 28, 2008)

Sonya..thank you very much. That was the type of oppinion and help I was looking for.


----------



## Reignmaker Miniatures (Jul 28, 2008)

I don't recall the story in this situation but if it were me this is what I would do;

Print the e-mail and file it where I could find it if I needed to, then delete the original from my in box, drop the subject since as others have said it is likely that strangers will think that the large farm had reason to be rude and it will damage your reputation more than their's. Then finally, put the whole sorry mess out of my mind and move on with my life. The e-mail evidence will be there if you ever NEED it but you will never actually see it unless you do need it. JMO


----------



## LisaF. (Jul 28, 2008)

Reignmaker - I think you have an excellent idea and I appreciate your help.

I had actually forgot about the e-mail and I started deleting some old e-mails ( I am horrible at keeping my e-mails that I don't need deleted).

So, I think you are right, just print them all off and make a file ,but, I will file it somewhere different than my miniature horse files - that way if I need it I will have it. I also won't be reminded of it so much.

I agree without knowing everything it would be hard for people to understand why that is on my website. I could see where it could cause some confusion to some people.


----------



## mininik (Jul 28, 2008)

He who angers you, controls you.


----------



## Genie (Jul 28, 2008)

instead of deleting the mail you might want to just move it to a folder in your computer and keep your inbox clear.

Right click on the mail and move it to a folder under your inbox.

When you right click to move one choice it gives is new folder and click on that, then you give it a name and then click the "OK"

This way your inbox is clear at all times and if you ever need to go to an old mail just click on your inbox and all your folders are there.

I move my mails to various folders which I name, for instance

4 H

Auctions

Keepers

Funny

Good jokes

Gross

Horse people

Horses sold

Horse inquiries

etc.

You likely know this but I thought I would give you the info in case you didn't.

I like to keep a lot of my mails for referring back to.

p.m. me if you need clarification. I tried p.m. ing you and your mail box was full.

I don't know anything about the background on this issue but "letting go" is likely best for your own "peace of mind"


----------



## LisaF. (Jul 28, 2008)

Genie - Thanks for the help - Acually I didn't know that.

My kids have taught me most of what I know on the computer and the rest I have taught myself. Now, my kids are out of the house - so I am still teaching myself things...lol.

That is another good idea of what I could do.

I am sorry - I did not realize my message box was full, thanks for letting me know. I will go and check it and delete what I don't need.

Thanks again for the help

LisaF.


----------



## Sun Runner Stables (Jul 28, 2008)

No clue what went on--





Do I get a cookie?


----------



## joylee123 (Jul 29, 2008)

[SIZE=12pt] Just sort of seems with you bring up this old topic that you are just trying to stir the pot or are beating a dead horse



[/SIZE]

No, it probably isn't against the law to post it on your personal site but what useful purpose does it serve? I guess it creates controversy and if that's what you're after I'm sure you'll succeed


----------



## Marty (Jul 29, 2008)

Hi Lisa. I just saw this and I don't have a clue who this big farm is nor do I care. But I do agree with everyone to leave it alone and junk it. Life is way too short. Learned this the hard way what really is important.


----------



## Reijel's Mom (Jul 29, 2008)

Marty said:


> Hi Lisa. I just saw this and I don't have a clue who this big farm is nor do I care. But I do agree with everyone to leave it alone and junk it. Life is way too short. Learned this the hard way what really is important.



Seriously, Marty - AMEN. There are 2 many folks that hold on to the little things and let those get in the way of all the blessings we do have.


----------



## shelia (Jul 29, 2008)

I can understand how you can feel hurt by someone you had so much respect for. We all tend to hold famous people or big name farms to a higher standard. We seem to think they will never lose there temper or act ever act anything but professional. You will always be disappointed when you really get to know them and realize they are just like everyone else. If this had not been a big name farm it wouldn't have bothered you as much. You might have been angry at first but you would have quickly gotten over it. Is this really much different than things you have read on this forum when people get angry with each other over something.

It is a shock when we find out that the people we have admired and looked up to for many years don't seem to have any respect for us. We just have to try and remember, they are human and capable of getting so angry that they may say something that really hurts. This anger could have been building up for many years and this was just a small staw that broke the camels back. We are all frustrated at the market these past couple of years and it just makes things more frustrating.


----------

