# What would you do



## hunterridgefarm (Oct 19, 2010)

My child takes his lunch to school him and another student got in trouble for smashing grapes on the floor. Got a note home from his teacher about the grape issue. When Hunter got home he told me about it. Yes he got in trouble for that. then he tell us that his teacher made him move to a different table and lay his head down asked why and he told us that it was because of the grapes. then he tells us that his teacher DID NOT allow him to have his lunch.

I called up to the school and she was gone for the day. so I sent her an email. Which I did not hear back from her till late this afternoon and she is telling me that my child is not telling the truth and the food came back home untouched.

went to the school about this and talk to them which they are telling me the same thing when my child told them what happen.

what do you do

they have to allow your child to have something to eat.

my child is 6, he went from 6:30am to 3 pm with out anything to eat

my question is what would you do


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## bjcs (Oct 19, 2010)

It would upset me to no end if a teacher told me that my child had lied. My children are grown now, but there was one time when a teacher did tell me that my son lied to me about what he did. My son was telling me the truth and no, I'm not a mother that would say, not my child. The teacher gave him a detention which of course was a punishment for me not the child. I first went to the teacher, didn't get anywhere so then spoke with the principal. I told him my son will not stay after school for something he did not do. I sat in the principal's office until he got up and brought the other boy that was involved to the office to tell the truth. My son did not stay after. I had told the principal that I would go to the superintendent if I had to.

My grand-daughter comes home from school some days and is so hungry that she is in pain. The teacher will hold up the whole class from going to lunch if a few kids are noisy. By the time they get their lunch they have to turn around and throw it out because they ran out of time.

It is wrong to withhold their lunch! If a child did something wrong they should take recess away or something like that not lunch. I'm not saying your child did anything wrong. If the teacher won't listen to you, go to the principal, if the principal won't listen, go over their head. If you believe that your child is telling you the truth, your child needs to know that you believe him/her.

Sorry this is so long--just gets me mad that first they tell you that your child lied and top it off with withholding food.


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## hunterridgefarm (Oct 19, 2010)

We have went over their heads. I will not take up for my child when he has done something wrong. But when he is in the right i will stand up for him.

The bad part of this it is like they are trying to cover something up I was not allowed to talk to the teacher today. My sons story has not changed. he is telling me the truth on this he dont have a reason to lie about something like this. when he got home yesterday he made his self sick trying to get his belly full. his lunch from yesterday came back home the same way it was packed.

I am one po mother here I have got a call into our laywer and he will be take care of this.

I dont want this to happen to another child at that school.

I am so sorry about your grand-daughter


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## Marty (Oct 20, 2010)

I'm pretty sure that back in the day if I played with my food in school and destroyed some grapes on the floor, the nuns at St. Peters would have done the same thing to me, and a whole lot more. Maybe this teacher is from the "old school."

None the less, I would have contacted the teacher also and let her know that you repremanded your son for it, and also notify her witholding food from your child is wrong. I imagine the teacher had time to realize she did the wrong thing by refusing your child his lunch so she is telling a lie to cover it up. I don't think she will be making that kind of mistake again.

Now I would let it go and leave it alone, move forward. I feel contacting your lawyer was over the top.


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## miniwhinny (Oct 20, 2010)

hunterridgefarm said:


> I am one po mother here I have got a call into our laywer and he will be take care of this.


You contacted your lawyer because your kid missed ONE lunch...he's not going to die! Give me a frickin break !!!!! Good grief it's parents like you who tie teachers hands and the result of that is what we see everyday - they're terrified to say anything to anyone in case the parents sue. You're kid, obviously, is no angel- imagine if someone had slipped on one of those grapes or just the mess for the poor janitor. I'm sick and tired of people calling their lawyers like they are calling their mommy. Get a life, step up and teach YOUR child what's right and what's wrong. Maybe if he behaves he'll get lunch lol.


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## hunterridgefarm (Oct 20, 2010)

miniwhinny said:


> You contacted your lawyer because your kid missed ONE lunch...he's not going to die! Give me a frickin break !!!!! Good grief it's parents like you who tie teachers hands and the result of that is what we see everyday - they're terrified to say anything to anyone in case the parents sue. You're kid, obviously, is no angel- imagine if someone had slipped on one of those grapes or just the mess for the poor janitor. I'm sick and tired of people calling their lawyers like they are calling their mommy. Get a life, step up and teach YOUR child what's right and what's wrong. Maybe if he behaves he'll get lunch lol.



I never said my child is a angel... Yes he did wrong. But in the same token what the teacher did is neglect by not allowing my child to have his lunch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

my child is 6 years old boys will be boys and what he done yes he was in the wrong for it. but a teacher should allow a child to have their lunch no matter what.

My child will tell anyone that momma and daddy will take up for him when he is in the right but when he is in the wrong we will not.

his teacher does not go with out lunch so why would does my child have to do with out. it was not just my child that did not get lunch that day so I am not the only po parent here.

I cant see how you think this is so funny... Maybe your kids should go with food from 6:30 am to 3 pm on day with out food and see how you would like it


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## Reble (Oct 20, 2010)

Boys at 6 years old, sure would eat even on his way home, maybe he is not feeling well, maybe see if he has a flue or cold, he should not be throwing up. Something else might be happening.

I do not think I would get a lawyer involved in this situation.

I have found in raising 4 children, they do sometimes stick too stories and just might not be telling the full truth.

Well, you are fighting with the teacher, will not be long he will be having fun, I am sure the teacher will not do this again.


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## bjcs (Oct 20, 2010)

miniwhinny said:


> You contacted your lawyer because your kid missed ONE lunch...he's not going to die! Give me a frickin break !!!!! Good grief it's parents like you who tie teachers hands and the result of that is what we see everyday - they're terrified to say anything to anyone in case the parents sue. You're kid, obviously, is no angel- imagine if someone had slipped on one of those grapes or just the mess for the poor janitor. I'm sick and tired of people calling their lawyers like they are calling their mommy. Get a life, step up and teach YOUR child what's right and what's wrong. Maybe if he behaves he'll get lunch lol.


It is Against the Law to withhold food from a child. He is only 6 years old. There are other ways to punish IF the child was in the wrong.


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## dixie_belle (Oct 20, 2010)

OMG you got a lawyer involved???? Now I've seen it all. Will you also call an attorney on those parents who send their kids to bed with no dinner because they were misbehaving? Give me a break. Can you imagine what the lunch room would look like if each and every child there decided to stomp their grapes into the floor? Long and short, he misbehaved. Period. If he were truly hungry, he could have eaten his lunch on the way home from school.

Are you that litagation hungry? Just move on, and no more grapes in his lunch, by the way.


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## ~Lisa~ (Oct 20, 2010)

I do not know what I would do but I do know calling an attorney over this is something that would not be an option for me at all.

While I am not saying your child would lie at 6 his perception of the event might be a bit skewed. It is possible he got in trouble and was upset over it (as most kids would and should be) and chose not to eat his lunch. Or that now do not play with your food or you will not be able to eat lunch with your friends was stated and he heard something different being a 6 yr old.

I have spent several hours in the lunch room at elementary school as I helped my daughters teachers 3 times a week when she was that age. I cannot see no one allowing him to have one bite of food. In fact we checked their lunches to ensure they ate something prior to going out to play.

I understand your being upset but again he is 6 his perception of events that day might not be 100 percent what actually happened. However calling a attorney is well a bit extreme over a missed lunch whatever the cause was


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## hunterridgefarm (Oct 20, 2010)

bjcs said:


> It is Against the Law to withhold food from a child. He is only 6 years old. There are other ways to punish IF the child was in the wrong.



Thank you so much


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## Bunnylady (Oct 20, 2010)

The child was out of line, the teacher overreacted, you overreacted. I'm with Marty - let it go, move on. Teachers are human too, have you never done something regarding your child that you later thought, "I could have handled that better?"

One time, my then 4th grader and the entire rest of the school had to go out and stand under trees in pouring rain, in a thunderstorm, with the temperature in the 50's, because burnt popcorn in the teacher's lounge set off the smoke alarm. When the fire chief finally gave the all-clear, they all trooped back into the school, where they sat dripping and shivering until dismissal a couple of hours later. Dumb situation, handled badly, hopefully all learned something useful and things will be handled better should a similar situation happen again.

Don't get me started on the time a "word of the week" got a local teacher reprimanded and made the national news!


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## Pepipony (Oct 20, 2010)

Sounds like the teacher has let their 'power' go to their head. Just another Bully that the kids have to deal with. Might bring this topic up at a parent/teacher conference or somesuch.


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## Marsha Cassada (Oct 20, 2010)

When I was in school we had to write 100 times "I will not smash grapes on the floor". After a couple of those, a child would think twice, I'm sure! Also, your student probably saw lots of students making a mess with food--he just happened to get caught. It's not fair, but it happens.

The nuns never deprived us of lunch. The opposite--we had to sit there all day if necessary until we ate everything! Also, the nuns all sat with their classes at the head of the table. If the teachers would do that nowdays, there would be much nicer table manners, I'm sure.

Yes, I'd be upset if my 6 year old was not allowed to eat his lunch. If he told a lie, that is a perfectly natural thing for a young child to do when cornered. It is an occasion to learn, not the end of the world. A 6 year old is barely at "the age of reason". However, the teacher is 'way over that age, plus has a degree in child education--more is required of her than reacting like another 6 year old.


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## Aristocratic Minis (Oct 20, 2010)

I can understand your concern for your child. But,do you think you might be overreacting a bit too much? Have you ever had lunch with your child at school? Do the children get to go outside to recess after lunch?

Sometimes children are so anxious to go outside to play they don't eat lunch and will save it for "later." We had problems with this so the children had to show us they had eaten most of the lunch before leaving to go outside.

On the other hand, I have also seen children who, because they have been disciplined for misbehavior in the lunchroom, get so mad they refuse to eat their lunch. You cannot then force them to eat.

In all my years, I do not remember any teacher or school employee who would refuse to let a child eat. It is just not something a child oriented educator would do. With as many as 300 children in a cafeteria, however, it is often hard to monitor who has eaten and who has not as it is a very busy and chaotic place.

My concern would be that by overreacting, the stress of calling a lawyer and the ensuing confrontations will be much more stressful than just letting the teacher know that you want her to make sure your child eats lunch every day. I don't think you would have any more problems if you had done that.


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## hunterridgefarm (Oct 20, 2010)

This afternoon I had a meeting with the teacher and other staff members for this district. She did say that she did remove him over the grape thing which is fine with with us.

The teacher also stated that she removed him and did not allow him to have his lunch. They have dismissed her from teaching with in this school and district wide which is a good thing.

Other parents have came forward about this issue with this teacher

I didnt have to use my lawyer. which is a good thing.


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## Minxiesmom (Oct 20, 2010)

Changed my mind!


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## Katiean (Oct 20, 2010)

Schools are not what they used to be. Here even if a kid gets lunch time detention they are allowed to eat. We have found home schooling on the computer a much better fit. There are not the other kids to stop school work from getting done. No one to act COOL for and the kids eat when they want to.


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## Miniv (Oct 20, 2010)

hunterridgefarm said:


> This afternoon I had a meeting with the teacher and other staff members for this district. She did say that she did remove him over the grape thing which is fine with with us.
> 
> The teacher also stated that she removed him and did not allow him to have his lunch. They have dismissed her from teaching with in this school and district wide which is a good thing.
> 
> ...



The school was definitely covering their butt.......It's my understanding that they were risking a lawsuit against them if they didn't respond appropriately.


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## mad for mini's (Oct 20, 2010)

It really is amazing the number of so called "teachers" that are in schools now that have no business being around children.




Just my observation from 15 years of having kids in school and working there myself for the last 7 years.


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## bjcs (Oct 20, 2010)

hunterridgefarm said:


> This afternoon I had a meeting with the teacher and other staff members for this district. She did say that she did remove him over the grape thing which is fine with with us.
> 
> The teacher also stated that she removed him and did not allow him to have his lunch. They have dismissed her from teaching with in this school and district wide which is a good thing.
> 
> ...


Very glad this had a good ending. Hope that teacher finds another line of work that doesn't involve children.


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## Aristocratic Minis (Oct 20, 2010)

Hunterridge - glad to hear you got this settled without litigation. I'm glad you were able to work it out with school officials.

I hope your son will have a good school year now.


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## Ashley (Oct 20, 2010)

I think you way over reacted. I hope for the teachers sake she doesnt have kids of her own to try and figure out how she is going to feed because she no longer has a job and probably will never be able to get another teaching job because you couldnt of handled it like an adult to begin with.......

this world is way to sue happy these days.


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## hunterridgefarm (Oct 21, 2010)

Ashley said:


> I think you way over reacted. I hope for the teachers sake she doesnt have kids of her own to try and figure out how she is going to feed because she no longer has a job and probably will never be able to get another teaching job because you couldnt of handled it like an adult to begin with.......
> 
> this world is way to sue happy these days.



Ashley I do hope this never happens to your child. Then you will look at it different. I cant not help it that she lost her job. It was not my choice that she lost her job all i wanted was for her to tell me why she did it. But other parents in my sons class came foward to about it. SO this is not the first time that she has done this.


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## Reble (Oct 21, 2010)

I am sorry she lost her job too.

BUT I am sure there must of been other complaints about this teacher.

Cannot believe they would just let her go for this.

Yes, we are the voice of our children and need more parents to look into their children's welfare.

Some parents now a days, do not even listen to their children until it is too late.

Parents and teachers need to keep a good communication going.


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## miniwhinny (Oct 21, 2010)

hunterridgefarm said:


> This afternoon I had a meeting with the teacher and other staff members for this district. She did say that she did remove him over the grape thing which is fine with with us.
> 
> The teacher also stated that she removed him and did not allow him to have his lunch. They have dismissed her from teaching with in this school and district wide which is a good thing.
> 
> ...


Something not quite right about this story. You cannot fire a public employee instantly without a thorough and exhaustive investigation first. You can't do that during a 5 minute meeting and you certainly can't do it over such a petty issue.


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## ohmt (Oct 21, 2010)

miniwhinny-if the child's mother said she was going to get her lawyer involved, I bet the school didn't even care. With schools not getting the money they should be, it's easier to fire a teacher (because there are plenty more out there looking for jobs) then to deal with a lawsuit.


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## Katiean (Oct 21, 2010)

It is very easy to "PUSH AROUND" a school when you threaten a lawyer. Even back when I went to school in the stone age. My father did it and got what he wanted done. I am glad you got justice for your son. Too many parents just let it go and it is done over and over to other children.


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## Sue_C. (Oct 21, 2010)

> it's easier to fire a teacher (because there are plenty more out there looking for jobs) then to deal with a lawsuit. [/quote
> Ahhhh, but you forget...teachers have unions, and contracts...if there was no PROPER investigation, she (the teacher) definately does have grounds to sue the school on her own part for firing her.
> 
> Me, I would never have thought of calling a lawyer or threatening legal action, but even had I done so, would have been "happy" with a simple suspension. I do not beleive her actions were worth losing her entire career over. I was never a teacher, but by golly, there were definatly times in my career when there were days........
> ...


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## ohmt (Oct 21, 2010)

Well said Sue C! I didn't think of the teacher's union....thank you for bringing that up


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## ChromeLuvr (Oct 21, 2010)

I hope she is a member of the educator's union. If she was fired so rapidly she has grounds to contact her OWN lawyer and pursue a law suit, and she should.

I hope whoever takes her place has a better way to discipline the children, I hope the children involved in the grape incident learned some respect and manners.


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## ~Lisa~ (Oct 21, 2010)

Sue_C. said:


> > it's easier to fire a teacher (because there are plenty more out there looking for jobs) then to deal with a lawsuit. [/quote
> > Ahhhh, but you forget...teachers have unions, and contracts...if there was no PROPER investigation, she (the teacher) definately does have grounds to sue the school on her own part for firing her.
> 
> 
> Interesting point


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## ruffian (Oct 21, 2010)

hunterridgefarm said:


> Ashley I do hope this never happens to your child. Then you will look at it different. I cant not help it that she lost her job. It was not my choice that she lost her job all i wanted was for her to tell me why she did it. But other parents in my sons class came foward to about it. SO this is not the first time that she has done this.


Bill Cosby said it best "But little Children are so TRUTHFUL . . . . yeah right!"

I've raised 2 kids to adulthood successfully. I've also been around lots of other kids in 4-H and around the schools. In My Opinion you overreacted, your son got scared because I'm guessing you started yelling about the teacher and he stood his ground because he was too scared to change his story. Then mob mentality takes over and pretty soon it's a witch hunt. Get a lawyer!! I'm going to Sue!! That's what's wrong with this country - it's suit happy. This certainly did not justify contacting a lawyer.

So now your son has learned a valuable lesson - mommy will believe anything. Did he learn that he shouldn't play with his food or throw it? Probably not.

The teacher lost her job and her reputation.

There are no winners here - with or without a lawyer.


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## Marty (Oct 22, 2010)

Teachers are over worked, under paid, pay out of their own pocket for supplies their kids parents won't pay for and abused by their students.

I cannot believe they fired this teacher over something so petty. If I were the OP I would feel horrible for being responsible for that teacher loosing her lively hood and ruining her career! I couldn't sleep at night.


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## hunterridgefarm (Oct 22, 2010)

I am sleeping just fine. this teacher had been under investigating for this and when other parents came forward about this too and she said yes I have done this to these kids.

I never threaten them with my lawyer I had called him to see what my rights was on this as he had served on the school board for sometime.

YES my child learned not to play with his food. MY child does not have a reason to lie about the teacher not allowing him to have his lunch. He will tell you in a flat second that he will get into trouble for telling a tall tale.

I will stand up for anyone if they are in the right but when you are in the wrong NO I will not stand up for you. yes my child was in the wrong about the grapes.

I can promise one thing he will not play with food again at school.


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## ruffian (Oct 22, 2010)

What do you call this if not a threat:?

"I am one po mother here I have got a call into our laywer and he will be take care of this."


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