# So whats the meanest thing someone has said to you? I think I have a winner here!!



## jacks'thunder (Aug 5, 2013)

So this weekend my mother in law and I decided to do our first craft show. It was good, not sure how they usually go but we did ok for 2 days. Yesterday my MIL's mother came to visit. She told me that I was " unrecognizably fat" and that if she saw me on the street she would not know who I was. I said well thank you that is wonderful to hear! Then she tried to back peddle and get out of what she said.

It's always lovely to know people think your fat! I'm kinda distraught. I'm not sure if there is anything meaner to say to a lady( well maybe your fat and ugly!




That would be worse! LOL!). I feel like I have been punched in the gut... so I came home drank 3 beers and cried and cried. So now I have a headache, feel like poo, and still keep tearing up.

Now lets see, to make this week "the worst week ever" for fear, I'd have to break down a bazillion miles from home, CHECK, I'd have to be called fat in public, CHECK, Fall off a tall building(or have it fall on me), Umm not yet, and be attacked by spiders and or zombies, not yet either!! LOL!

No in all seriously I'm hurt! That's _*really*_ mean!

Oh yeah, I also had a nightmare last night that I was in my bathing suit and no one would let me change out of it!!! Cheese and rice man!! That was bad!! LOL!!


----------



## Jill (Aug 5, 2013)

Urgh! I can't think right now exactly what's been the worst thing someone's said to me, but one time a co-worker told my sister sister it looked like she'd gained weight, or something along those lines. She was offended but remarked "thanks for noticing" which I thought was pretty good for off the cuff.

Another thing... I heard someone once say something like if someone says or asks something rude you can say "if you can forgive me for not answering (or responding), I can forgive you for asking (or making that comment)."

Never know what agendas others have, and women can be SO CATTY.

HUGS!


----------



## jacks'thunder (Aug 5, 2013)

Thanks Jill

I think now of all the " I could have/should have said" things but I just wasn't fast enough, it caught me so off guard.


----------



## Riverrose28 (Aug 5, 2013)

Oh my goodness, how awful! Some people can be so darn hateful! I can't think of a thing now, but I'm sure there must be some buried back in my memory. I do know one person that is just hateful and I'm glad I only need to deal with her at weddings and funerals and that she lives in another state. She doesn't mess with me, cause she knows I'll get her back, I almost jumped on her after my duaghters funeral when she disrespected my grandsons cat, but I only yelled at her, it wasn't the time or the place. Even her son, my son-in-law calls her the wicked witch.


----------



## bevann (Aug 5, 2013)

I have a younger sister who is just downright mean.No one in the family will have anything to do with her.She is not even welcome in her 2 daughters homes at holiday dinners.She is almost 70 and will NEVER change.Several years ago my son moved back home after living many years in CA.His best friend is Mexican and friends mother helped raise my grandson.At the Thanksgiving dinner at my son's house his extended Mexican family were all there.My sister walks in and says"I should have worn my sombrero" She is just MEAN STUPID and THOUGHTLESS.She has said so many mean things to me in the past 20 years that are too numerous to list.If my brother and or I die before she does she is banned from the funeral services.All family members have given her so many chances to act nice(lasts for less than 1 week)and she is back being major MEAN again.I have not seen or spoken to her in over 2 years-works for me.Her daughter sent her a birthday card and she replied with a nasty e mail(You just wasted $4-should have saved your money)I sometimes feel sorry for her, but I just move on.She sees nothing wrong with her bad behavior.It is always the fault of someone else.


----------



## jacks'thunder (Aug 5, 2013)

Wow


----------



## Debby - LB (Aug 5, 2013)

OMG that was terrible! I know that would have really hurt my feelings to the point of crying and drinking too! Being she is your mother in laws mother is she really old? have you been around her before... I mean is she always normally speaking like that? I ask because some people, especially someone who has had a head injury or a stroke sometime it alters the part of the brain that censors speech.

I learned this when I had a severe brain injury when I was 12-13 and I slightly have that. I remember my Grandmom explaining this to me when the Golden Girls was on TV...remember Sofia? she had that and my Grandmom told me this is what you have to control, see the things she says that are inappropriate? just because you think it you can't say it. I may be a what comes up comes out person but I don't mean to hurt anyone's feelings to this day. ...well unless they make me really mad (which is hard to do) then I'd tell them what I thought lol! I'm sorry she hurt your feelings like that, since I'm really fat I know how uncomfortable that made you feel.


----------



## Carolyn R (Aug 5, 2013)

My Grandmother was a pretty nasty person. She is the one I have mentioned in previous posts that we cared for her for the last 4.5 years of her life. She passed at 98.5 years old. We loved her in spite of herself and did what we could to make her comfortable in her last years. Among the things she said or did.....was known to say very loudly in a store when seeing a larger than normal individual " my oh my, did you see how fat that person was? How can someone ever let themselves get that big? " she picked on our weight when we were kids, would treat us like stray cats if we walked over to her house. She would tell my grandfather "send them home, don't be feeding them", she would call people with dark skin foul names and when they would come from the city to vacation at a Christian retreat near us, she would say, "boy oh boy, where do they all come from." we always corrected her and would even tell her "you are sicilian, sicily was a port city with many nationalities, italian, spanish, arabic, african.....why do you think some sicillians have such a dark olive skin tone?" she never liked hearing that! My mother inherited that skin tone, and as a child, my grandmother would make her stay out of the sun for fear of her getting even darker!

We would take her to lunch when I was in high school and she would tell us she was leaving a tip, and leave 25 cents, which we would hurriedly replace with several dollars, she would come into the house when we were kids and say, "how can you stand it, it smell like dogs in here, don't you smell it?"

It was never ending, my grandfather was the saint in the marriage but passed years before her. As I said, we did right by her in the end and just accepted that was who she was. The last two years she barely spoke, dementia and alshiemers was too advanced, but prior to that she did her fair share of ridiculing my children, her great grandkids. We told them many many times, please just grant her some grace. Sometimes it is more about doing what is right rather than taking the senseless but hurtful comments to heart.


----------



## laughingllama75 (Aug 5, 2013)

That is really crummy.





I had an Aunt say to me (as I went to stand on her chair, put hang HER hummingbird feeder up) "Those chairs weren't meant for people YOUR size". I almost fell off said chair......then said "well, I am built just like you, only 2 feet taller". Needless to say....she got the point. I did receive an apology, about 3 months later.

I hope your mean MIL comes to her senses and gives you an apology too. I dont know where people get off, thinking it's OK to voice their opinion on how others look. Rude, and mean spirited.


----------



## vickie gee (Aug 5, 2013)

Oh my. Please stay away from tall buildings until you get past this.

I could probably make a top 10 list of the most mean things ever said to me but I don't want to open up any old wounds.

The elderly sometimes do have a habit of blurting out whatever thought is going through their head. My brother has been embarrassed so many times by my dad blurting out comments about people they see in public. He is always having to tell my dad that the room full of people at the doctor's office are not deaf, so please just BE QUIET.

My father-in-law is a classic case but maybe it is not 100% age related. Once we took the in-laws to a restaurant and our waitress was not out of ear shot range when he asked us "if she was pregnant or just fat?" I wanted to be invisible. Once in public he asked us if a small child near us "was retarded?" The child's family was sitting nearby. My husband said he almost said "I don't know Pop, but I am fairly certain YOU are." It would have been fine with me if he had given him what for.

Sending you a hug {{ }}. Try making lemonade out of lemons is what I say. If you have been reading my thread on the diet and nutrition forum you know that a mean comment is what made me ticked off enough to start eating healthy. I should probably thank the dude that hurt my feelings.


----------



## vickie gee (Aug 5, 2013)

Oh, and I can't forget the old aunt that would get her hands on your back and chest and then ask "are you wearing a bra yet?"


----------



## Marsha Cassada (Aug 5, 2013)

On the topic of weight--my farmer neighbor looked at my miniature horse Dapper Dan once and commented that he was about ready to butcher.

Needless to way, I was not amused by his humor.


----------



## romewhip (Aug 5, 2013)

That's just wicked. Maybe she thinks it'll shame you into losing weight, as if you could just snap your fingers and twirls three times and it'll melt off.

I had someone ask me when I was due, granted I'm fat but since I can't have children it double hurt.


----------



## shorthorsemom (Aug 5, 2013)

Sounds like the lady in that movie "only the lonely" starring John Candy.

hmmm, I had a co worker that told me I needed a boob lift that they were "hanging to my waist". I wanted to say to her "well at least I have boobs" cause she was really thin. but I didn't. I did go on weight watchers after that and buy a new bra, but it did really tick me off at the time that she made me feel bad about myself.

My mom once said in front of her church ladies when I was in my mid 20s "Maybe if we could get her out of jeans we could find her a husband" .. My comment was "maybe I will marry a guy who enjoys wearing jeans".

I am happily married to a dairy farmer now and he loves me just the way I am.

You can't control what comes out of folks mouth. My mom is famous for her odd lines and pointing out weight and talking about who needs to lose some. We just ignore it and roll our eyes and talk about her to eachother for support.

I think thats why I have so many critters. They are always glad to see you, don't mind how you look, they are only your happy critics in life and greet you like you have been gone for hours when you only go outside to get the mail.

Critters are good for the soul. Take care, find your happy place and blow her off, her comment isn't worth the time of day.


----------



## Tab (Aug 5, 2013)

Wow, I tell you what, some people cannot stand that there are others that are prettier, younger , happier , or more talented than they. These angry useless people see joy and want to squash it. Consider the source , but I'd confront her in a message and tell her off! Don't let her get away with it. She will quickly forget it but her words will poison you unless you let it be known that you will not tolerate abuse. I was always nice no matter what nasty things people would say. They knew I didn't stick up for myself so I was an easy target. I would stew from the abuse long after the abuser forgot and it manifested in health problems. Don't let this do that to you! I'm getting better at defending myself. Too bad it took 30 years, two kids, and a 9 lb tumor to get scary! (Not bitter just scary lol)


----------



## REO (Aug 5, 2013)

I hardly EVER leave my house. And it's because of people such as those. I hide in my house rather than have people like that near me.

Gee, they must think they're so perfect.

Me? I'd rather be fat than be an A_ _ h _ _ _ .





{{{hugs}}}


----------



## Field-of-Dreams (Aug 6, 2013)

REO said:


> I hardly EVER leave my house. And it's because of people such as those. I hide in my house rather than have people like that near me.
> 
> Gee, they must think they're so perfect.
> 
> ...


This^^^^. I never go to the mall, and typically only got to WM or the grocery store way early in the morning.


----------



## Jill (Aug 6, 2013)

Shoot, I never go to the mall because I'm simply too lazy and too impatient to deal with other shoppers! I can find EVERYTHING I want online when it comes to most things w/o dealing with a mall. Haven't been to one in at least 15 years!!!


----------



## jacks'thunder (Aug 6, 2013)

First and for most I want to say thanks for the support and sharing your stories, it means a lot to me.

Now to answer a few question, The players in the story are me, my MIL, Grand ma great( the women who said the mean things), MIL sister, and my mom.

Now grand ma great said this stuff in front of my mom, me, and MIL sister. My MIL was not present at the time and has sense ripped sister and grand ma a new one. Grand ma has denied everything and said she would never say such a thing and asked why MIL was taking my side. It's not about sides, what she said was hurtful and rude and 2 other people heard her say it. When questioned "sister" said it was a compliment and that I'm making a big deal out of nothing.(Ahhh no thanks, You can keep your scaring words to your self!! if that was a compliment I'd hate to hear a put down!!) My mom was floored and had she not been hit with evil grandmas words just minutes before she would have stood up for me. ( come to find out evil grand ma told my mom she looked so old, and so much different with her saggy face) I'm hurt beyond words. My mom was only there to give me a hand and watch our booth while I took pictures of the parade. And she gets hammered by mean things too... I'm done with these people. DONE DONE DONE!!!

No I don't see these mean people often. I think the last time was around 5-7 yrs ago. I don't function well at large gatherings so I avoid them like a bad cold. My hubby was furious at evil grand ma and walked right next store to yell at his mom about it. She completely understood how I felt and has felt the same thing by her mothers tongue. Evil grand ma always tries to get MIL to go on weight watcher, or some other diet, so I would assume this has always been an evil part of her. She has always been mean from what hubby and MIL/FIL have said, so I have always kept my distance.

Um I have to admit, it's going to be hard not to let this effect me. I feel really bad about the way I look. What a nasty women to hurt someone and then say she would never said something like that. Stupid stupid women. Come to find out not one of her grand children will come to visit her, and even her children have a tough time.


----------



## jacks'thunder (Aug 6, 2013)

vickie gee said:


> Oh, and I can't forget the old aunt that would get her hands on your back and chest and then ask "are you wearing a bra yet?"


Yuck!!!

And just to let you know I did stay away from tall buildings, so nothing fell on me or me from it!!!!!!





So far so good!!!


----------



## bevann (Aug 6, 2013)

Stories like this make me appreciate my animals even more.No nasty comments from them.I like my animals far better than most people I know.My way to deal with the nasty people is to avoid contact with them unless absolutely necessary.Give me my animals any day.


----------



## jacks'thunder (Aug 6, 2013)

bevann said:


> Stories like this make me appreciate my animals even more.No nasty comments from them.I like my animals far better than most people I know.My way to deal with the nasty people is to avoid contact with them unless absolutely necessary.Give me my animals any day.


I have to tell you I agree! This morning when I was doing chores I started to cry, so I sat on the ground doing my pitty party thing and Red(one of my minis) came right up to me just looking at me like I was nuts. So I started giving her little scritches under her mane and she started doing it right back to my head! I laughed so hard, she gave me the pick me up I needed! What a sweet girl


----------



## REO (Aug 6, 2013)

Love you Leya!


----------



## Sonya (Aug 6, 2013)

I have an evil nasty sister who has said horrible things to me and my other sister, so bad I don't even want to repeat them. She is an angry person, always has been...she is miserable and tries to make everyone around her miserable also...the only fortunate thing about both my parents passing away recently is I no longer have to have her in my life and I feel no remorse about that...bye bye witch! Ignore her Leya, you are beautiful, inside and out!


----------



## jacks'thunder (Aug 6, 2013)

REO said:


> Love you Leya!


Love you too Robin







Sonya said:


> I have an evil nasty sister who has said horrible things to me and my other sister, so bad I don't even want to repeat them. She is an angry person, always has been...she is miserable and tries to make everyone around her miserable also...the only fortunate thing about both my parents passing away recently is I no longer have to have her in my life and I feel no remorse about that...bye bye witch! Ignore her Leya, you are beautiful, inside and out!


Thank you Sonya, I will try, that kind of yucky stuff sticks with ya though, but I will try.. I know with time the hurtfulness of it will go away.


----------



## chandab (Aug 7, 2013)

Sonya said:


> I have an evil nasty sister who has said horrible things to me and my other sister, so bad I don't even want to repeat them. She is an angry person, always has been...she is miserable and tries to make everyone around her miserable also...the only fortunate thing about both my parents passing away recently is I no longer have to have her in my life and I feel no remorse about that...bye bye witch! Ignore her Leya, you are beautiful, inside and out!


My sister outgrew her nastiness eventually; but 20+ years ago, I'd say you were describing my sister to a T.

My sister moved out of the house when she was still in high school, she came home to pick stuff up and walked in to the living room where I was watching TV and said "Well, aren't you fat", just what every teen girl wants to hear (especially one that is a bit overweight). [My sister was always stick thin, still is fairly thin.]


----------



## Boss Mare (Aug 7, 2013)

I am so sorry you had to experience this. Hugs to you!

I have a mother that I will never be good enough for.. Not girly enough, I'm gay, my succeesful career isn't good enough for her standards. She admits she is jealous of me at times because I am rather fearless. She's kind of a miserable person and I've always been her puppet - just hoping one day I will make her proud.

The other day she texted me she sent me an email, I was driving so I actually pulled over to read it because I knew it had to be another beat down from her.. Sure enough, in tears, I turned around and drove home instead of driving to where I had planned. Email basically said she is ashamed I am gay (I've been out for 8 years), will never tell anyone I am gay and said she is also glad my fiancé isn't pregnant - we've been trying since October and for the last few months have been trying with the help of a fertility clinic.

Hold your head up!


----------



## susanne (Aug 7, 2013)

I know it's easier said than done, but whenever you come across one of these mean people, remind yourself that you can choose to leave and never see them again, but they are stuck with themselves as long as they live.

Another thing that might help: keep your ears open for other victims of vicious tongues and STAND UP FOR THEM, whether you know them or not. It's another method of passing it forward, and you will feel better for it.


----------



## Jill (Aug 7, 2013)

I remembered something last night! My Jr. High french teacher once told me "you're turning into quite a porker". And I was like in a size 7 jr. jeans then... I sure won't ever fit into anything like that again!!! And I also remember her talking about old art and that a long time ago, heavier women were desireable, like _________________ and she pointed to and called out a female classmate. Wish I could remember that teacher's name (I do remember the classmate). That teacher was a total nut case!!!

And go figure, I remember nearly NO french.


----------



## Debby - LB (Aug 7, 2013)

I hear you Bev! the non-judgmental, positive affection from animals keeps a lot of us going!

Michelle I'm so sorry about what your Mom said. I don't know you but I can hear the pride and hope in your posts about the love you share with your partner and wanting to start a family. I can't understand how a mother could possible say that. She is missing out on so much and it sounds like she'll certainly miss out on her grand children. Please stand strong and don't let anyone beat you down. I hope before long you'll be announcing a baby on the way!!


----------



## REO (Aug 7, 2013)

{{{{Michelle}}}} Love you too!

{{{{HUGS}}}} to everyone who has been hurt by these damaged people that can't stand to see anyone happy, so they want to make you just as damaged as they are. Been fighting it my whole life.

We are GOOD just as we are and don't you forget it!


----------



## Charlene (Aug 9, 2013)

at gary's funeral, i had a woman come up to me and say "that's a lovely outfit. you should wear it when you start dating." i was so shocked, i didn't know what to say to her so i just walked away. to this day, i wonder what was going through her mind!


----------



## chandab (Aug 9, 2013)

Charlene said:


> at gary's funeral, i had a woman come up to me and say "that's a lovely outfit. you should wear it when you start dating." i was so shocked, i didn't know what to say to her so i just walked away. to this day, i wonder what was going through her mind!


OMG!



You really have to wonder what was going through her mind.


----------



## Boss Mare (Aug 9, 2013)

Thanks guys!


----------



## Riverrose28 (Aug 9, 2013)

I always try to put myself in anothers shoes and to understand why they are the way that they are, if you understand me, somtimes it works, but some people just don't understand how hurtful their words are, or their tone of voice, or just the body language involved with what they say. Anyhow, my father-in-law died in 1996, my mother-in-law couldn't care for herself so we moved her in here, we got along most of the time, but she could be very grumpy, and that is putting it nicely. I was still working when she moved in, but did everything for her. She did nothing, and I mean nothing. I stepped out of the hen house and broke my ankle. The ER doctor told me to go home stay in bed with it elevated to reduce swelling until I got in to the ortho doctor to have it set and put in a cast. This happened on a Fri. evening. Sunday morning I always cooked breatfast for evryone, she walks by my bedroom and says to my hubby I can make you breakfast if you want, but not for evryone, that is too much. It really hurt my feelings since I'd been cooking for her for years, all meals. I just let it roll off my back. She has passed now, colon cancer. In the end I did everything, even retired so I could care for her, driving her, feeding her, helping her get around, etc. The way I see it is, you can't fix these type of people, there must something deep inside of them for this behaviour, maybe it is pain, or maybe a defense mechanisim, who knows, I just try to stay away from them, and like Robin I hate leaving the farm, and like Bev. my snimals love me, fat, thin, wrinkled, crippled, whatever.


----------



## Marty (Aug 10, 2013)

I can join this club easily.

I never could understand flat out being mean. I just don't get why some people have to say negative things unless they are unhappy with themselves maybe. I've had plenty of mean things said to me in my life. As far as weight goes, I've always been kinda thin-ish. When I got married I was something like 115 pounds soaking wet. Then something misfired and I won't go into it and I got bigger and bigger and bigger. And yes its true that when you gain weight your face is distorted and everything else so I don't need anyone to remind me or point that out because I am well aware of it. I've had a lot of comments like "What happened to you" and "Why did you do this to yourself" and "Why don't you do something about yourself" and it goes on and on. I'm not as sensitive to it as I used to be anymore but it still can get to me if I dwell on it. As a matter of fact I could look on the bright side and know that I'm strong like an ox and I can actually deck anyone that ticks me off if I want to........


----------



## AngC (Aug 10, 2013)

Well, as long as you have horsey-kisses, you're o.k. And hopefully you had low calorie beer; if not, next time, you can get lite beer and have six of them.


----------



## ohmt (Aug 11, 2013)

You lovely, lovely ladies-don't let the 'bad" eggs in the world keep you from doing anything and everything you want in life. I grew up in such a dysfunctional home and heard many hurtful words, but despite my family putting me in those situations, one of the greatest things about them is that they really don't care what anyone else thinks of them, as long as they are happy. My mother used to embarass me so much, dancing and singing in public. Now I'll join in-we're both terrible, but when we're happy, who cares. More than likely, you will rarely, if ever, see those people again. People who judge others are the ones we should all feel sorry for, especially if they are judging on such superficial things. They are the ones worrying about ridiculous things that have little matter in the world. What society deems beautiful on the outside changes day to day, but beauty on the inside never does.

I think every person is the victim of hurtful words and sometimes all too often. Just a good reminder to use your words to brighten people's lives instead. I needed a reminder myself-life has been too stressful lately. Hugs to all!


----------



## dixie_belle (Aug 12, 2013)

My parents and I had a falling out....oh.....I guess it's been 40 years ago (I was quite young at the time). My father (who is a doctor) told me I'd never amount to anything, he wouldn't help support me (I was a teenager at the time) and if I ever got ill, not to go to his hospital because it would be too embarrassing for him. Whatever. So I haven't contacted him since then. Must have been 1976. They live in New Orleans. When Katrina hit, hubby said I should call to check to see if they were ok. I told him it wasn't a good idea but he sorta guilted me into it. So I call. My father answers, right? I ask how he is and he wants to know who is calling. I naturally say "It's Shelley". He tells me......wait for it.....I don't know anyone named Shelley. All righty then, if you don't remember having a daughter named Shelley, who am I to argue?

Sigh.

Haven't spoken to any of my family since then. Don't care to ever again.


----------



## Ashley (Aug 12, 2013)

I would have to say that it would be when I was told my daughter would be better off without me so she could be raised right.


----------



## chandab (Aug 12, 2013)

dixie_belle said:


> My parents and I had a falling out....oh.....I guess it's been 40 years ago (I was quite young at the time). My father (who is a doctor) told me I'd never amount to anything, he wouldn't help support me (I was a teenager at the time) and if I ever got ill, not to go to his hospital because it would be too embarrassing for him. Whatever. So I haven't contacted him since then. Must have been 1976. They live in New Orleans. When Katrina hit, hubby said I should call to check to see if they were ok. I told him it wasn't a good idea but he sorta guilted me into it. So I call. My father answers, right? I ask how he is and he wants to know who is calling. I naturally say "It's Shelley". He tells me......wait for it.....I don't know anyone named Shelley. All righty then, if you don't remember having a daughter named Shelley, who am I to argue?
> 
> Sigh.
> 
> Haven't spoken to any of my family since then. Don't care to ever again.


OMG! That's just horrible. Guess what? Its their loss, cause we all love you and consider you family. The family we chose is sometimes better than the family we are born into. [i say sometimes, cause I do get along with my parents, its just my sister that has caused me issues in the past.]


----------



## jacks'thunder (Aug 13, 2013)

I have to say I may have to change my title, some of your stories blow me away. Thank you all for sharing.


----------



## SampleMM (Aug 13, 2013)

Mother of mercy, what the heck was your mother-in-law thinking?? That was a horrible thing to say and I bet it's not the first time she's been mean to you. That was a comment made by a very mean, hates- their- life kinda person. I seriously do not think that's a comment a normal person makes.


----------



## susanne (Aug 14, 2013)

Ashley, As a longtime forum member who has "known" you since you were a teenager, let me say that your daughter is an incredibly fortunate child to have such an intelligent, courageous and self-motivated mother. You are a great role model for any child, and your love for your daughter is evident in all of your posts.


----------



## REO (Aug 14, 2013)

DITTO Susanne *Ashley*

To everyone here, from my heart........*{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}*


----------



## Norah (Aug 25, 2013)

Oh the "Fat" remark ...dont ya just love mindless people ! grrr , they prefer to ask me if i am pregnant ...I guess i carry my extra weight in front ! I hear that often . I reply with " No , I am going through menopause, and I spend too much time in the kitchen" we have a restaurant  I was recently told that I looked better in a photo I have with longer hair ... well most people look better in professional photos taken 10 years ago  good grief ! I was also told that same day my horse was fat ... exact words translated in English " oh your horse is so nice ...but too bad he is so fat" thanks !!! so not only do i look old fat and ugly in short hair , but my horse is fat too !!! I had dreams later that I was unemployeed , very large and living back home with my parents !!!! I can laugh about it now , but WOW , what a weekend !!!


----------



## Ashley (Aug 25, 2013)

Oh I know!


----------



## rubyviewminis (Aug 27, 2013)

I don't know why, after the week I have had, that I ended up on this thread. For the first time I got mad about how my horse was treated and put myself out there this last week. I try to stay home, or hidden online much of the time because I wonder sometimes if I too am dysfunctional. Especially the way some people respond to my post sometimes.

My sister and I grew up part of a large Italian family, but unfortunately our mother is evil incarnate, married to my father who suffered terribly in WWII so he was dysfunctional but intelligent and a hero. All of your horrible descriptions describe just part of what we endured. Both of us finally just cut off from her in order to remain sane. But she is such a good liar and actress that the rest of our family thinks we are terrible daughters. Growing up neglected, abused verbally and physically, and constantly moving tends to make you struggle for years just to learn what normal is, and how to function in the world. Many times we had no idea what the other kids in school were talking about for things like tv shows, movies, toys. I never once had a lunch at school, not once. And there is so much worse, but I learned to hide it well. I truly feel bad for all of you that have been treated terribly by others.

Because of the unfairness of an overabundance of love and care that was shown to our brother it took me awhile to realize why I go ballistic when I see a child, or when I was younger a handicapped child, or an animal treated unfairly or mistreated. That led to my kids keeping quiet about anything remotely going wrong at school, poor things lol. (injected humor)

I don't have a thick skin and I too get comments, even from doctors that are insulting about appearance. Many times people are just plain ignorant and don't realize they are insulting you, or hurting you. It still hurts, but I recognize an honest mistake. My hairy/furry kids are my life here for all the reasons mentioned. I too try to shop for groceries early, early, other things online or just not go to shop, I don't even go to my husbands company dinners. As much as sometimes I would like to, I never join any functions or clubs for art or horses because there are too many wonderful things in life to enjoy besides natty, jealous gossip, competition, clicks/cliques and mean spirited people. I admire those of you who can set aside someone's nasty temperament and just go on.

I have never, ever even breathed a hint of my childhood, not even my husband knows the extent of what was done to us, but I guess that is why I ended up here, and it helped. I never thought anyone would believe me, or would just think I was weird to talk that way about my mother. Thanks


----------



## susanne (Aug 27, 2013)

rubyviewminis, 

I'm so glad that you have your horses, as they truly are therapeutic, but I wish you would also find a counselor to talk with and relieve yourself of this burden. You're carrying about a huge amount of pain, and I believe entrusting your story to a good listener would bring you tremendous relief. You should NOT feel guilty -- you are not a bad daughter for being honest about your mother. Please take care.


----------



## Debby - LB (Aug 28, 2013)

Becky {{{{{{{



}}}}}}}}


----------

