# need to know if I did do the right thing or not



## hunterridgefarm (Jan 18, 2011)

There is a family member that has 4 kids and all under the age of 14 and the only one that has been to school is the oldest one. The mother to these 4 kids works and the father does too. so there they are not home schooled whats so ever. I passed by their house today and which school is in and the kids was home alone. In the state of South Carolina a child can be left home alone at the age of 15. The mother is in Dever and the father is out of towm working. I feel that someone needed to report this. I feel bad for the kids they need to be in school. the little girl asked her parents to send her to school and they would not.

I need to know if I did do the right thing by calling DSS on them

Please do not bash me for this


----------



## leeapachemoon (Jan 18, 2011)

hunterridgefarm said:


> There is a family member that has 4 kids and all under the age of 14 and the only one that has been to school is the oldest one. The mother to these 4 kids works and the father does too. so there they are not home schooled whats so ever. I passed by their house today and which school is in and the kids was home alone. In the state of South Carolina a child can be left home alone at the age of 15. The mother is in Dever and the father is out of towm working. I feel that someone needed to report this. I feel bad for the kids they need to be in school. the little girl asked her parents to send her to school and they would not.
> 
> I need to know if I did do the right thing by calling DSS on them
> 
> Please do not bash me for this


Of course you did the right thing! You were concerned about their welfare. If nothing is wrong then nothing will be done. But if something is wrong those children will be better off. The parents can correct the situation and get their children back. If they love their children they will do the right thing. If they want to home school their children that is fine but there is a right way and a wrong way to do that and leaving them alone is not the right way!


----------



## GrandmaC (Jan 18, 2011)

I once wanted to report a neighbor who is my age cause she was always cussing and screaming at her mother (a woman in her 60's or 70's) two to three times a week. I mean I couldn't even talk to the mom without the daughter hanging out listening. (Mother /daughter lived together both single) My momma would NEVER allow me to talk to her so abusively. The mother always made excuses for her daughter cause her daughter was on a lot of meds for pain control, etc)

She called it her daughter having melt downs.




Sometimes victims make excuses for their abusers/neglecter's)

Not sure what to do I called a local older folks assisted living place for advice and the lady told me this and I quote.

Would you rather be wrong calling it in and it was a mistake

or would you rather not call and find out NOT calling was a mistake? (after the older woman was hurt)

There could be a perfectly good explanation that you're unaware of. You don't mention if this is a regular thing (kids not being in school) You also don't mention the other kids ages. On other and there could be an issue and those kids need help. Sometimes abused and / or neglected children are kept at home and not allowed to school by their abuser. If you felt in your heart you did the right thing, leave it in prayer to God that he will protect the children and give wisdom and decernment to the social worker and anyone else that would /will be involved.


----------



## Miniv (Jan 18, 2011)

I believe GrandmaC made a very valid point:

"Would you rather be wrong calling it in and it was a mistake

or would you rather not call and find out NOT calling was a mistake?"

Personally, I believe it is child neglect to not provide your children a basic education....It is also against the law. Plus, the parents are puting their kids in jeopardy by BOTH being out of town at the same time. I do believe that would also be considered child neglect. (What would happen if there was a house fire while the youngsters were all alone???)


----------



## Reignmaker Miniatures (Jan 18, 2011)

From a person who is very inclined to "mind my own business" I have to say... No question at all, you absolutely did the right thing, in fact you did the ONLY thing any caring individual could do. You may never get any thanks and like leeapachemoon says if nothing is wrong then nothing will be done, but you will be able to sleep at night knowing you did what was right and made darn sure those kids were OK. Good for you, I applaud your actions.


----------



## Holly at WhiteTailsMinis (Jan 18, 2011)

I agree with what everyone else says,I totally believe that you did the right thing. I would have also reported that.


----------



## supaspot (Jan 19, 2011)

yes


----------



## hunterridgefarm (Jan 19, 2011)

Okay here is the run down. The mother works for a western store from 10 am to 9pm is her hours and the father works from 7am to 7pm. the kids ages are 14,12,10,6.. This is a thing that happens ever day.. They moved from the town that they used to live in after the kids was taken before because of this. They have the cops out there back last year and they did not follow up on it.let me add that the house is nasty....... They have a dog that does not go out to use the bath room also 2 rabbits that does not use a cat box so you can



when you in the house because of the smell is so bad. I dont want anyones kids taken way but something has to give.

I prayed last night to GOD to make sure these kids are taken care of.

On top of it, It is 6 people that live in a 2 bedroom house. By law the little girl has to have her on room she does not. She shares a room with the other kids. I feel for them they need better in life and I hope someone can do that for them. The oldest child went to school to the 2nd grade and was made fun of because he is big bone so to say and the mother did not like it so she did not send him back and the 2nd to the oldest was late so he did not get to start school when school started and she has told all the family that home school is the only thing to do...and the other 2 has never been...

I hate to say this they neeed to be in jail for what they have done to these kids

Diane


----------



## ~Lisa~ (Jan 19, 2011)

Tough call for sure. Frankly I am not sure I would have called just for having the 14 yr old watch the kids although that would be if they were in school and she was watching them after school until parents got home and some weekend days. That is not uncommon these days with both parents having to work and not having money for child care and many of us grew up the same way.

But again the fact they are not in school is an issue for sure. Sadly if they get into the system that does not in any way insure a better life different circumstances yes but better not always - it is a risk but you have to do what you feel is best and I think it is one of those things that you really have to go with your gut on.


----------



## GrandmaC (Jan 19, 2011)

hunterridgefarm said:


> I hate to say this they neeed to be in jail for what they have done to these kids
> 
> Diane


I've learned a long time ago not to judge as many times it's impossible to have all the facts.

And it is our duty to protect those who cannot protect themselves.

However if you're a praying woman you know about empathy, forgiveness, not judging and such.

While trying to help these children try to have a little empathy for the total situation including the parents.

Sometimes if taken into custody siblings getting split up and going from foster home to foster home isn't

that much better for them .......sometimes. But I agree they need to be in school and children that age need supervision.

Maybe we all need to say a little prayer for this family including asking that the people who become involved (caseworkers, etc) will have the wisdom needed.


----------



## CharlesFamily (Jan 19, 2011)

I think you absolutely did the right thing!

As a teacher, I am a mandated reporter. I also have to have training in recognizing child abuse. This past year, the head of our county's DCFS did our training. She was sure to emphasize that we are NOT responsible for proving that neglect or abuse have occurred. It is only our job to report if we have suspicions. It is their job to take it from there and either prove or disprove the allegations. I have had to make a few reports in my 15 years of teaching.

Contrary to what many people believe, children are seldom taken from the home unless they are in imminent danger or evidence of physical or sexual abuse is found. There are not enough foster homes to go around, and children's services try very hard to work with the family to make the situation better rather than removing the children from the situation.

My biggest concern would be the fact that the children are not in school. That is definitely something that needs reported. Secondly, I have nothing against older siblings helping out by watching younger siblings while parents are at work a few hours a day. But basically in this siutation it sounds like the older sibling is raising the younger ones and that is just not right. That 14-year-old is still a child. They did not choose to have those children and should not be bearing the responsibility being placed on them.

I think you should rest easy tonight knowing you did the right thing. Someone needed to stand up for those kids, so bravo to you!

Barbara


----------



## mydaddysjag (Jan 20, 2011)

I think you did the right thing. If social services needs to step they will take care of it, and if not, atleast you know the kids are alright.

I Cant believe the children aren't being schooled. Here, if your child misses a certain amount of school, you are fined, and if it continues, you spend time in jail and someone gets your kids. Even cyber school/home school here is required. The cyber school you are required so many hours logged in, and with home school there are placement tests and you are also required to show proof of things like physical education. I wonder how they are getting around all of that.

As far as 6 people in a 2 bedroom house, while I do agree that is cramped, and I wouldn't want to do it, maybe it's the best they can do. Sounds like maybe they aren't in the best economical situation if they are both working a lot, and cant afford a sitter. Its possible that they cant afford to move somewhere bigger. How many people grew up in the past with 2 beds in a room, two kids to a bed? I know my parents did, my dad talks about how the girls had a bed, and the boys had a bed, but all shared a bedroom. Not a very modern thing, everyone these days thinks each child needs its own room.

I do agree that 14 is probably old enough to watch the other children for a little while, but never overnight, and not all day everyday. Like another poster said, that child didnt decide to have the children, so shouldnt have to have the responsibility of raising children.


----------



## Bonny (Jan 20, 2011)

I agree, right thing to do.

Besides the lack of proper schooling ( we home school)lack of parental supervision, and guidance, I am concerned about these children living in filth. Just the germs and stench that breeds in a home where a dog is constantly using the floor as a bathroom. I cant imagine adding rabbits to the equation.





Honestly its a good thing to step in now while the children are still young. Hopefully someone can turn this sad situation around for them.


----------



## hunterridgefarm (Jan 20, 2011)

Thank YOU!!!!

I just cant get these kids off of my mine..

Question dont you have to have so many hours in a day for home school?????


----------



## Bonny (Jan 20, 2011)

It depends on the laws in your state. For information on the laws in your state regarding home school you can look at H.S.L.D.A.org.


----------



## HGFarm (Jan 20, 2011)

I also absolutely agree you did the right thing! Those kids need someone to intervene to even have a fair chance in the world. I also agree there is a lot more to neglect and abuse than sexual abuse or locking a kid in a closet for weeks.


----------



## Miniv (Jan 20, 2011)

hunterridgefarm said:


> Question dont you have to have so many hours in a day for home school?????


It varies......Some states require 5 hours per day. Other states don't have a set number of hours, but the kids have to take state tests to make sure they are up to par.........With our state, there's a "3 strikes, you're out" standard with the testing and then the kids are required to return to a regular school.


----------



## sfmini (Jan 21, 2011)

I agree with the others, you did the right thing and may have rescued these kids from a horrible situation that would ruin their lives through adulthood.

As a State Employee, I am also a mandated reporter even though I am in IT and have nothing to do with children or other beneficiaries of our services. I do take that responsibility to heart and would not hesitate to report a problem.

Hope things turn out ok for these kids.


----------



## Katiean (Jan 21, 2011)

Home schooling does require that you pass proficiency tests. My nieces and nephew do their schooling on the computer. Even with that they have scheduled tests they have to go to a location to take tests. Their mother is also very involved in the work getting done. You did the right thing.


----------



## ~Lisa~ (Jan 27, 2011)

Just wondering if anything has changed for these kids and if their parents decided to do anything different?


----------



## rockin r (Jan 29, 2011)

I just recently did the same thing, you have to go with your gut on these things. You did the right thing. These children need the guidance of their parents, not an older sibbling..


----------

