# Possibly moving...need to convince boyfriend or find cash!



## MiniHoofBeats (Oct 27, 2006)

Ok so as most of you know, i've been working with my town to allow miniature horses...it's been going REALLY good, a few different angles have been looked at such as special permits, or changing the ordinance all together...my alderman is just mostly worried that the neighborhood will pick up mini's as a "fad" and after the fad dies down, the town will be left with a lot of lawn ornaments so he wants to push the special use permit specifically for me, and a therapy/educational mini. My specific property was rezoned commercial a few years ago for a guy who wanted to run a heating/cooling business out of the garage, so my alderman also wants to push bringing the mini in as sort of a "business" of going around to visit the elderly, schools, helping out the police department like say with social services if they take parents away and a child is left behind, to come entertain the child for a couple hours while paperwork is getting done, etc...

Well, the bad news is that this would only work on my property, if I ever moved, the same rules would not apply...i'd have to go through everything again. And...even worse...my basement has a HUGE mold issue. It is so bad, there is mold growing on the floor, mushrooms growing underneath boxes, etc...the basement REEKS...our back door comes in by the basement and that is the door we always use, so when family and friends come over the first thing they are greeted with is stinky, musty odor...I've been researching mold and how it causes health problems such as frequent headaches, new allergies, etc. and for about 3 months now i've been getting repeat headaches every day around noon, AND to top it off I now am allergic to cats...that i've been around and owned my entire life...and i'm allergic to pollens, I can no longer mow the lawn like I LOVE to do without my eyes burning, turning red and itchy, my nose running and stuffy at the same time, and sneeze sneeze sneeze! I have never in my life ever been allergic to anything (except sulpha based medications) and now I have 2 new allergies that will never, ever go away.

Plus, all the stuff we stored in the basement, hundreds upon hundreds of dollars of decorations and furniture and clothing, is MOLDY...it's all ruined....I have brought this issue up with my landlord numerous times, he okayed having a basement inspector come in, they quoted $14,000 dollars worth of work that needed to be done but if at least anything, to get their de-humidifyer which is like 3 in one, but only runs on 1/3 the power....so my landlord goes out and buys me a dinky little de-humidifier and that is supposed to keep the humidity level below 50% to keep mold from growing, throughout the entire basement AND upstairs? ONE????.....I am so peeved.....

SO...I looked in the paper yesterday and I found my dream! a 3br, 1.5 bath, 2.5 car, ranch home on a couple acres of land for rent...guy said I could put fencing up anywhere and keep my horses there, and there's already a shed for storage and/or a run-in! The only downside is that it is a 20-25 minute drive out to the place, or into town for work...which I am ready to do again, that is what I used to do when I lived out in this area before and though it was a drive, I LOVED the country!!! I am ready for it, I want to do it, but my boyfriend is dragging his toe...saying he's not sure...he knows this is my dream to have mini's right in my back yard again, but he's just dragging his toe. I know he loves the country too, he likes fixing up bikes and zooming around the yard with them, and ATV's and all that junk and he loves to have outdoor bonfires. Before we moved back into the city last time, he was all about finding another country home. Well, I told him I need to know an answer before noon today because the guy has 2 more people coming to look at the place today, and the first person to slap down $300 to reserve the place gets it...and what does my boyfriend do? He goes out drinking with his friends until 4am, lord knows he wont be up until noon...*sigh*...I am wondering if I should make this decision on my own and just move. I just can't help but question though, am I being the selfish one here?


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## Warpony (Oct 27, 2006)

well, major decisions like that do need to be made as a couple, so unless you can afford the place on your own if he choses to really make an issue of it then you should probably not make the choice alone.

However, i think it was kind of rude for him to just put off making a decision on it when it could cost you the place. It sounds like ti would be a great place for him as well, considering his interests. I'd wake his butt up and get an answer myself, but that might put him in the wrong frame of mind and he might just say no because he was annoyed that you woke him up.

And you know, there is nothing wrong with wanting to have a place where you can fulfill YOU dreams. I don;t see you wanting this place as "selfish" in a bad way. You shouldn;t have to give up all your dreams because he might be dragging his feet over the issue.

I'm honestly not sure what I would do in your shoes, though. I know I am not any help, but I hope you can get the place. It sounds perfect for you.


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## mountain_waif (Oct 27, 2006)

....


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## MiniHoofBeats (Oct 27, 2006)

Thanks Warpony, yes I can afford the place on my own if need be. This seems to come up all the time that him and I cannot make decisions, he always "needs a day to think about it" or "needs to sleep on it" wheras I come to conclusions within minutes....it's frustrating to know what I want, then to have to wait to hear his side. But I do love him, and I told him last night before he went out that I would like him to really think it over, then come home and talk it over with me and instead he crawls home at 4am...i'm peeved about that...well, i'll try calling but he likes to keep his phone on silent in the mornings...

Thanks you guys for your advice!


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## Marty (Oct 27, 2006)

Your health is very much at risk by living in your present residence so I'd move asap. You can still save your things by washing everything down in bleach or something to remove mold. I'd like to see you move on this other place today if possible. Driving 25 or so minutes to work is not a lot.

Just be sure that the other place is a neighborhood that does allow 4 wheeling and bon fires, etc. for your boyfriend. Check the restrictions.

Depending on how much of a couple you guys are, if you have a solid future together would be the deciding factor if I would get the place on my own or not.

Wake him up, give him an asprin, tell him to fork over the $300 that you are moving. Good luck!


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## Miniv (Oct 27, 2006)

I'm with Marty.......Wake the boyfriend up (gentley of possible) and TELL him you are moving. Ask him if he wants to be a part of it and if so, hold out your hand for his share of the deposit.

Good luck,

MA


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## ChrystalPaths (Oct 27, 2006)

Trust me on this....do it! It will work out in the end, trust me on this one!


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## nootka (Oct 27, 2006)

I agree with much of what has been said.

Some men are very hesitant to be decisive, heck, some women are, too.

It sounds like it would be for the best for you to move out of mold-ville, which will NOT get better from the sounds of it (I might just report it to my local Health Dept. or whatever governs these conditions and see about getting the house condemned til he does something about it.).

If I were you, in your situation, I would make the decision myself if he won't use his cajones and maturity and participate in this important issue. (I'd also let him know how I felt about his avoidance method, but that's just me).

Take care and good luck/best wishes w/this.

Liz M.


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## REO (Oct 27, 2006)

I agree with the others.

Wake him up.

Go for it!


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## Reble (Oct 27, 2006)

OK now, what have you decided?, times is running out, it looks like everyone here has voted




: Go for it.


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## bfogg (Oct 27, 2006)

Do it on your own Debs is right do it!!!

Bonnie


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## MiniHoofBeats (Oct 27, 2006)

LoL wow! You are all so supportive!

Well here's the update, at 10:30am I called my boyfriend and received a groggy "hello" meaning he was still sleeping and very much hung over...I asked him how his night went, and said I hope he had fun being out until 4am, he said he did...I asked if he remembered me asking him last night to think about this place and to come back home and talk with me about it, and that we would make a decision today...all he remembered was "We'll make a decision today"....so...I told him I really like the place, that I understand it means a lot of driving back and forth to work but that it is my dream to be back out in the country, and with my mini...I told him I was going to go ahead and tell the guy I wanted the place and I was going to put some money down on it, and take him out to see it later today.

So...he said again he wanted some time to think about it, that "an hour and a half was not long enough"...I just don't get it...we're living in decrepid mold and he can't decide...aye karumba! He said he was going to try to get off work at 5-6pm and we're going to go look at the place together. I know he'll grumble about the drive, but I really think he'll like the place!

Yesterday my mom stopped over and caught the both of us and said the same thing, that we need to move out of the house ASAP...

cross your fingers for me please!!! I would love more than anything to have my mini(s) back with me!


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## ChrystalPaths (Oct 27, 2006)

Minis or no, this is the move for "you", it may not be for him but if you can do it, go for it, opportunity only knocks once in a while.....do it. For you.


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## MiniHoofBeats (Oct 27, 2006)

I really want to, my only issue is I just recently purchased a nice tiny colt, and with his d/p and transportation i'm pretty broke right now! The guy for this house only wants $300 to hold it but I don't know where I am going to get it...my boyfriend has $300 on him right now and that is where the rental deposit would need to come from. I have a few items up for sale on ebay trying to rush LOL! I can handle saving for rent no prob but this guy wants $300 TODAY and i'm chewing my nails off trying to find it! I am waiting for my mom to call to see if she could temporarily help me out here...ack! I am trying to get this thing moving because we would also need to put a 30 day notice in to our current landlord so we wont end up getting stuck with paying for rent for 2 places...like usual! November is already paid off here and that is fine, the guy with this property is cleaning up the house and wont have it ready until the 2nd week in November anyhow...and isn't asking for rent to be paid until December so moneys are worked out there. It's this darned $300...LOL where oh where is my money tree!

I really want to go for this property...you're right, rentals like this do NOT come up often, I see this as a great opportunity and I just want to jump at it! The guy is already holding it for me so I feel better there... :bgrin

p.s. if I get this property, I can bring Diva home!! Still my step mom bought her so her horse but...she could live with me! I miss her to pieces!


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## Reble (Oct 27, 2006)

Oh I think you will get it, either way, Mom's are always there when you need them?



:

Make an offer like cleaning Mom's house twice a week, complete cleaning top to bottom untill you hand over the $300.00, I would jump on that.



:

That would be her interest rate :aktion033:


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## MiniHoofBeats (Oct 27, 2006)

lol that would be a great offer, I may have to do it =) Thanks for the idea!


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## woodnldy (Oct 27, 2006)

How about offering the owner of the property to do part of the cleanup,painting ect in return for the deposit?? Many would jump at the offer.


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## jayne (Oct 27, 2006)

I have been sitting on my hands since you first posted this, but I can't any longer. I sure hope I don't offend here...

You and your boyfriend don't seem to be operating like much of a team. Is this the life you want? You invited him to participate in an important decision and he avoided it and went out and got drunk? Now he has the money for the deposit but you can't ask him for it? What does this say about other important decisions you might need to make in the future? Loving relationships want the best for their partner, sometimes even at your own expense. Living one more minute in that unhealthy (and trust me, that moldy house IS critically unhealthy) house something a loving partner would want for you?

I realize that you are involved in some difficult and stressful short term decision making here, but PLEASE, when it's all settled, spend some time thinking about your future. Think about the life you would like to see yourself living, then make it happen. Don't waste another minute living anything less than a wonderful life.

Jayne


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## MiniHoofBeats (Oct 27, 2006)

Jayne, I don't think you said anything offensive...I do see where you are coming from...I have been trying to view this from both my position, and my boyfriends, and I DO agree this is a long drive away from town but it's not THAT long in reality and...it is truly what I want. I keep telling him, to move there is truly what I want...but then I feel selfish for saying that...is that selfish?


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## Warpony (Oct 27, 2006)

That mold is a serious (and I mean SERIOUS health issue) so either way you need out of that place you are in.

So the more i think about it the more I am thinking I'd go for it. Not saying that is what you should do, since it is your life and you have to weigh out the cost VS the benefits but I'm thinking now I would go for it.

Oh, and a 25 minute drive really isn;t that much for people who want to live in the country. My husband drives an hour and a half each way to his job. Thankfully he is able to work 4 10 hour days instead of 5 8 hour days, that saves on gas mileage, but still he thinks it is worth it for the 13 acres of country hick heaven we have here.


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## MiniHoofBeats (Oct 27, 2006)

Well...I just got off the phone with my boyfriend and he said he does NOT want to move out that far...

I really feel that I will be taking this move by myself...


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## Yaddax3 (Oct 27, 2006)

Forget about the minis.

Forget about the boyfriend.

Forget about this place in the country.

Just move. Anywhere.

Your focus is on the wrong things -- minis, boyfriend, place in the country. It should be on your health, which is endangered.

Mold can cause life-threatening and life-shortening health issues. Just type "mold" into your favorite search engine and see what I mean.


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## Reble (Oct 27, 2006)

MiniHoofBeats said:


> Well...I just got off the phone with my boyfriend and he said he does NOT want to move out that far...
> 
> I really feel that I will be taking this move by myself...


Oh so sorry to hear that. Well, does he have alternative choice?

You have to make the decision and change can be hard? Good Luck in what ever you decide?

Talk with Mom and see what she thinks, Mom's know best.




:


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## susanne (Oct 27, 2006)

One of the essential qualities of a good relationship is that your support each other's dreams. Not that he should sacrifice his dreams either, but that doesn't appear to be the case here. Since he enjoys the country, too, it's not as if he's giving up a whole lot to be with you.

And for him to not be willing to move for the sake of your health...

I would move on ahead, follow your dreams. If he decides to come along, great...if he does not, then you know where you stand. Better you know now than down the road.

Good luck --I really hope you get the place!


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## Marty (Oct 27, 2006)

How much you wanna bet that the minute you get this place by yourself that he shows up on YOUR doorstep suitcase and all asking "which way's our bedroom Baby"? :new_shocked: :new_shocked: :new_shocked:

YOU GO GIRL !!!


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## Warpony (Oct 27, 2006)

MiniHoofBeats said:


> Well...I just got off the phone with my boyfriend and he said he does NOT want to move out that far...
> 
> I really feel that I will be taking this move by myself...


I'm sorry to hear he didn't want to go for it. Sounds like you have a hard choice to make now. I hope for you to have wisdom in this choice but it sounds like your gut is already telling you what to do.



Yaddax3 said:


> Forget about the minis.
> 
> Forget about the boyfriend.
> 
> ...


Yeah, What they said. You know those allergies you have recently developed??? Well, years ago I used to talk to this woman on something called a newsgroup. It was sort of like a forum, but in the early days of the internet. She had mold in the walls of her house and they thought she was developing allergies to her animals and asthma. It turned out to all be related to the mold. This stuff is nasty nasty stuff. It can cause all kinds of issues because not only do you end up inhaling spores but some forms actually release toxins into the air that can make you sick. It isn't just like when you get a tiny bit of mold in the corner of your shower stall, it's a big deal. If I discovered my basement that full of mold I wouldn't sleep in the house another night after the stories I have heard from people who were actually made sick by it, but then again I'm paranoid about it now.

That mold is nothing to be trifled with. I'm not being overly reactionary or alarmist, this stuff really is that dangerous.


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## MiniHoofBeats (Oct 27, 2006)

Yeah I told him on the phone how I see that he still gets to do what he likes, fixing old things back to new and selling them, and building computers...he still gets to do his favorite things, and what do I have? I sit at home all day wishing I could be outside playing in my yard with my mini's...

We went through this similar thing not too long ago, the first thing he's going to say is that if I am moving out there, he'd like to find a place still in the city BUT even though we are separate, we'd still be "in a relationship"...he pulled this on me before and I hated, hated, hated the idea...but I went with it...he moved in with his friend for a while, while I lived alone....we visited each other etc. but I still hated it. I will not do that again...

I dont expect to see him on my doorstep...I expect phone calls, etc. but not for him to realisticly move out there with me.

I am going after work tonight to meet with the landlord and sign the contract, I explained my financial situation and he said no big deal, as long as I can get SOME money to him and pay the rest later, he'll let me rent the property. I am really excited!! But at the same time I just want to break down and cry...I don't understand why my boyfriend is not so supportive of me.

Yaddax3 - we've already moved 4 times in the last 2 years, if I am going to move again it is going to be to some place *I* want to be at for a long time...I am so sick of moving! He wants a place in the city close to work, I want a place in the country where I can play with my horses. I think this is where we draw the line...I am not giving up my dreams for him, and he obviously will not give up anything for me. But you bring up a good point, we both need to get OUT of that house ASAP!!!!


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## Yaddax3 (Oct 27, 2006)

> we both need to get OUT of that house ASAP!!!!


You also need to notify your local health department. I'm on my local city council and, from experience in my own city, this house is a health hazard. From what you described, it needs to be condemned until the mold issue is addressed.

I strongly urge you not to spend another night in that house. Stay with your mother. Stay with anyone.

It sounds like you are renting this place. You may want to contact an attorney. The landlord has a responsibility to deal with this and, by ignoring it or taking it likely, your health has been jeopardized.


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## Miniv (Oct 27, 2006)

YOU GO GIRL!!!! :aktion033:

You can't risk your health. And you can't allow yourself to be held back by a boyfriend who is being selfish.

Hate to say this.....but if you didn't follow your own dreams, but allowed the boyfriend to dictate your life, I can guarrantee that 2 or 3 years down the road, you'd be KICKING yourself!

And I have a gut feeling you are doing the right thing........and if the boyfriend is at all smart, he'll end up following you......and if he doesn't? He's missing out on a great thing!

MA


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## Lisa-Ruff N Tuff Minis (Oct 27, 2006)

Well here is the exact same advice i would give to my daugther.

Boyfriends come and go.. sadly husbands come and go(as do girlfriends and wives) the worst way to start or stay in any relationship is to allow resentment to build and by not doing what you truly feel is right you will resent him.

If he moves when he isnt ready he will resent you.

The best thing for any woman to do is to save her own money (even if married) and have a life truly independent of her husband/boyfriend.

A relationship should enhance your life not become your life. When it enhances your life it can be strong.

I have wasted many a year in places I should not have been, in situations I should not have allowed my children to be in. Mostly out of fear a small part of that out of worry of money.. finally I decided.. heck I am going to live my life or die trying.. we still have the fear but it gets better every day since we as a house full of girls have become stronger, better informed, able to protect ourselves.

My daughters will hopefully really be aware to never let any man get in the way of any dream they have.. If he is the right one.. it will work out in the end if not.. best to cut your losses and move on anyway.

So sit down with your self and think not with your heart (which wants the minis) but with your head and your gut.. can you do it on your own? does it truly feel like the right place to be? If so it will fall in to place as you go about making it happen!

All of that aside.... THE MOLD CAN KILL YOU GET OUT OF THAT HOUSE JUST LIKE YADDEX SAID


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## MeadowRidge Farm (Oct 27, 2006)

I say get out of that house and make the move ahead! Your living in the Appleton area right?? Anyway you go a 1/2 hour drive back into Appleton is NOTHING..I have friends that come up by me almost every weekend, (I live about 1 hour north of Green Bay) and they both work in Appleton at the airport...one lives in Winneconnie and the other lives in Oshkosh...they think nothing of the drive, its just an excuse your boyfriend is using on you. You go girl and dont look back..get yourself some happiness with those minis you miss so much! Corinne


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## MiniHoofBeats (Oct 27, 2006)

Thank you everyone =) I may be moving a little fast but...tonight I went back to Shiocton and I signed a rental agreement!!

I am moving out to the country, I am taking my life back, and I am DEFINITELY taking back my love for mini's!

I feel horrible though about Joe...he's giving me the "sap story" right now...depressed talking, closed off in the bedroom sleeping already at 8pm...I am not sure if he feels bad, or if he feels hurt. Probably both...but in a way I don't feel bad at all...he left me for 2 months without blinking an eye and it makes me wonder why I feel so bad about making such a good, healthy decision for myself??

I feel so guilty...but at the same time, I can't wait to finally be back out in the country!!! Thank you everyone for your support, your helpful comments...it means so much to me to hear all your stories, what you've been through and what your advice is. Thank you, all of you



:


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## horsefeather (Oct 27, 2006)

IMO I think you made the right choice! And, if Dimimore and Bonnie told me to do something with as much conviction as they told you, believe me, I'd do it so fast it would make your head spin!! Really hope things work out for you.

Pam


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## Miniv (Oct 27, 2006)

horsefeather said:


> IMO I think you made the right choice! And, if Dimimore and Bonnie told me to do something with as much conviction as they told you, believe me, I'd do it so fast it would make your head spin!! Really hope things work out for you.
> 
> Pam


:lol: Yep....I think I would too!



:

You know why Joe is closed off in the bedroom and sleeping? Because he's SLEEPING IT OFF....

Do NOT let him give you the sad story or guilt trip! You are making an important decision, so listen to your SELF.....

If you are supposed to make this move, Kiddo, everything will fall into place......TRUST ME. (But YOU have to make the first move.)

MA


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## Marty (Oct 27, 2006)

I think you should take pictures of your stuff and the surrounding mold and also have witness of it and then ask your landlord if you can get your security deposit back


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## luvmycritters (Oct 27, 2006)

> A relationship should enhance your life not become your life. When it enhances your life it can be strong.


[SIZE=10pt]That is such a profound statement - really makes one think! [/SIZE]

Anyhow - I am glad to hear that you are jumping on this opportunity - as long as you can afford the rent - what do you have to loose? You will be so happy to have your mini's in your own back yard! I rented for years and to find a place that will allow you to have your animals is a godsend!! Every one here as been giving you exelent advice and we are all rooting for you - as so many others have said - YOU GO GIRL!!!

Lori


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## momtotwo (Oct 28, 2006)

I think that the fact that you feel guilty rather than sad says a lot about where you are in this relationship. I am very proud of you for taking such a giant step on your own. It's so much easier to stick with what we have than to tempt fate and take the scary Other Road. Congratulations on your new home and for being able to have your babies back!!! -j-


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## nootka (Oct 28, 2006)

I'm glad you decided to go. I don't understand the situation w/your bf, thinking he must have some other issues I don't know about to try and control you this way, but figured you've probably heard most of what I would have said anyway.

I do agree about the mold, though, that landlord should be made to clean that up. It is POSSIBLE if he has insurance, that they would help and also help you w/replacing your items if you have renter's insurance?

Happy to hear that you will have your minis with you again. That has to be worth all of it.

Liz M.


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## Jill (Oct 28, 2006)

Yay!

I am happy you are moving to the new place!!!!

Also, the "vibe" I get reading this is that the real reason he may not want to move has A LOT more to do with being in control and having the last word vs. where he'd really be happy living...

(PS take it from me, because I myself am a control freak and have to stand back a lot and ask myself if I really want "the thing" or do I really want to just flat out get my way... Like, I've made up my mind, don't confuse me with the facts. It takes a lot to get out of that particular mindset.)


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## MiniHoofBeats (Oct 28, 2006)

Thanks again everyone...that is exactly how my mom put it, that he likes to be "in control" and it's so funny because when you talk to him, he often shys back into a corner but you're all right...in the end he just has to have his way,but you never see it coming.

I am THRILLED beyond belief for this place! I will have a moment of guilt rush through my stomach...then all I need to do is think of the beautiful landscaping, and how I am going to set up my fencing...and the guilt goes away =) I went to bed at 9:30pm last night...first time for a LONG time I went to bed before midnight! We both slept for the most part on complete opposite sides of the bed...I was planning to get up and show him photo's of the place that I took last night but I just figured, why take the initiative when he doesn't even seem remotely interested in the first place?...ugh...frustrating...I love him dearly, I really do...but just look at this, this is what it has come down to in just 3 short days after 3 years of being together...

Well, here's a few pictures of the place, SORRY they are fuzzy but my hands must have been shaking or something...you get the idea though! And sorry if there are too many! I am excited!

Front yard and house






Front yard from in front of garage






Front of house






Area right behind house looking left toward garage - brand new barn the neighbors built in the background lol!






Backyard






Trail leading back into woods






p.s. this isn't ALL of it, my camera didn't catch very good angles lol. Not new or perfect, but...country living is it!

And I double asked if they ever saw ticks...nope! Lots of turkey and deer though! Especially in the spring, the landlord said the toms will strut right across the backyard showing off for the girls =)

I need to figure out how to fence off 2 pastures...I know I only have one mini but I want 2 just in case lol! I think i'll be doing that on Sunday!

Thanks for letting me share, i'll let everyone know what happens with Joe...I would like him to come along but not if he feels he is dragging a toe or unhappy...but, i'm going regardless! Thanks to all of your support I have decided to make the move and boy, I sure hope you'll all still be here when I am lonley and blabbing on and on about my mini LOL!


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## Jill (Oct 28, 2006)

Oh wow!!!!!!!!

Your new place could not be any cuter!!! I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My hunch is that Joe will decide to come along, but regardless, that is a sweet little place you got!




:



:



:


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## Reble (Oct 28, 2006)

Oh boy Girl you lucked out. :aktion033: :aktion033: :aktion033:

Just think you will be too busy to notice he is not there. If your lifes are suppose to be, it will.

Never know what is around the corner, one door closes another will open.

Your too young to worry about setteling down right now. Go have some fun.



:

You bet we will always be here for you



: True friends never leave.

What a wonderful place to live. Now go an make yourselve a home and settle down with your mini or minis?



:


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## Warpony (Oct 28, 2006)

It looks ADORABLE!!!

:aktion033:


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## minis3 (Oct 28, 2006)

You got truly wonderful people responding to your post with heartwarming advice. I think you have made the right decision also and your new place is so charming. It looks so cozy. You and your horse will love it I'll bet. I know I would.


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## Yaddax3 (Oct 28, 2006)

I just hope you checked the new place for mold. My guess is the mold was in the old place when you moved in, and you disregarded it. Don't make that mistake again, or you'll be too sick to worry about a boyfriend.

Also, there are two kinds of health -- physical and emotional. Just from the little you have said, you appear to be in an emotionally unhealthy relationship. Those kind of relationships cause stress, which could lead to damage to your physical health.

I'm a nobody to you, so you sure don't have to listen to me. But my guess is, you've had friends and relatives tell you a relationship with your boyfriend is never going to be sunshine and lollipops.

By the way, does your boyfriend wear a baseball hat all the time that's pulled down to hide the L on his forehead? Just curious.


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## Lisa-Ruff N Tuff Minis (Oct 28, 2006)

Yaddax3 said:


> By the way, does your boyfriend wear a baseball hat all the time that's pulled down to hide the L on his forehead? Just curious.


Ok between things like this and the cheer quotes... I know we would be GREAT friends!


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## nootka (Oct 28, 2006)

That is a GREAT new place. Congrats on the home and property and best wishes for happiness there, it sounds like you have a good start by losing the "baggage" as you go.

Must get pics when you get all moved in w/your four leggers!

Liz M.


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## susanne (Oct 28, 2006)

Congratulations! That place is wonderful -- exactly my kind of house and property. The only way it could be better is if it had fencing and little horses frolicing about!


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## ChrystalPaths (Oct 28, 2006)

Hon, this is a good place to move! It screams settled and calm. Go for it. I stayed with a man for 25 yrs thinking he'd come around, sweetie, he never has and never will, build your own life for you....someone worthy of you will come along and treasure you and the things that bring you pleasure and happiness. We tread this earth by the grace of God and should live it well.


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## MiniHoofBeats (Oct 28, 2006)

Boy, lots to reply to!

First I just have to vent a little...I told my dad about this and as usual, he looks at everything from a financial view before anything else and the first comment out of his mouth was that I was going to financially flop and end up in dept up to my ears. He doesn't believe I can make it on my own...I now have a real motive to get my butt out there...I can't believe I have so much support from all of you, and from my mom and sisters but none at all from my dad *sigh* he wants me to "forget about miniatures right now, go move into a tiny apartment and save money" which sure, it would in the FAR future lead to finally owning a place of my own, but...I need the healing touch of a mini in my life right now. Plus, I can't ask my friend to hold on to my little colt for long, she's willing to hold him while I move but even that is far more than I could have ever asked of her. I just don't understand why he doesn't understand that this is my chance to be where I really want to be right now in my life.

Ok now...

Yaddax - YES he wears baseball caps 24/7...literally...should have figured there was a letter under his cap for me...I did ask the landlord if the place had mold, and I looked ALL over the place and sniffed every room and the place checks out clean! And yes, you're right about being emotionally unhealthy...i've actually brought that up with my boyfriend many times that he is "emotionally abusive" toward me and he goes off on a rampage of how he isn't...

Thank you everyone for your compliments on the place! It isn't huge, but for just me I think it's perfect...and a roomate if I can find one...and, I have a huge bay window in the front where I plan to set up my pasture and stare out there, or be out there, all day long =)

I am hoping to start moving the 2nd or 3rd week of November, and be all moved in by December 1st! Everyone wish me luck! I could really us CASH right now so if anyone needs anything from around a house...cabinet...lamps..dresser...files...please let me know! iPod...lol...


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## Sonya (Oct 28, 2006)

Congrats!!!! The place is gorgeous...looks like a little cozy cabin.

Don't let your Dad get you down, now you have to show him that you CAN do it and I'm sure you can! As for your boyfriend, I won't comment much except remember emotional and verbal abuse is just as bad as physical, it is no situation to be in.

As far as financially - try to find a roomate to help out..one who loves horses! When you are setting up fence etc...don't get yourself in a whole using credit cards, try to pay cash. Look for used inexpensive fencing. Try to find used T-posts for fencing, etc...

You can do it!!!


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## Ashley (Oct 28, 2006)

Wow that looks like something I would love to have. However little ol me is scared to death to be out in the country alone. Most days it takes all I got to be alone in town in a town house conected to 3 others.

Good luck! I agree, if it were me personally I would ditch the bf, he dont sound like much good.

Also when you going to share this colt?


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## RainSong (Oct 28, 2006)

Honestly, don't let your Dad get to you. My mother is a wondeful woman, and I love her to pieces... but she has a tendency to look at anything I want to do and nay say it or put it in a negative light- unless it's what SHE wants me to do.

You're doing yourself good here!


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## Bess Kelly (Oct 28, 2006)

I'm with the others --

Get a roommate to help pay for the place -- not your "boyfriend". I'd think he won't be such a loss, more like a huge headache to get rid of -- doesn't sound like you two are compatible anyway, just hanging around together. Trust me, if there is no concern about your feelings there is no love there....even a discussion about your feelings of moving, etc., would help. Even if ONLY due to the mold, etc., he should talk about a move, even if he says he will only stay in town, etc. Geeesh, NO opinion?

Keep credit cards put away as much as possible, to avoid extra expenses and a bind on paying rents, extra gasoline, horse needs, etc.

Get AWAY from that mold, now!!!!

PLUS:

Speaking of mold and the house you are leaving



: As mentioned before...take pictures, keep records of all discussions with the owner about the mold, treatment needed, what he did/did not do, etc.

Get the name of the inspector who looked at it. Report it to the Health Department. Check into the landlord/tenant laws in your area. Where I am, if this was reported and NOT corrected fully within 30 days, you could easily get out of any lease, move without penalty, etc. Do you have a lease there? are you and your boyfriend both signors? If so, and he does NOT move, you could be held responsible for the entire rent (almost all leases are "jointly and severally" documents).....so, if he isn't leaving and your lease says you can move without penalty with a 30 day notice, and you BOTH haven't signed the notice --- well, you need to address this responsibility. Could get ugly with the landlord, etc. Just cover your uh...."bases".

I hope everything works well and smoothly. Hey, run an ad for a roommate!!! Maybe one who can also carpool. :lol:


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## Beccy (Oct 28, 2006)

I only just read this topic, but I'm glad you decided to leave that unhealthy house. Good luck with the move and your new home!


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## Candleliteranch (Oct 28, 2006)

I have just finished reading through all the pages of responses you received and want to extend my sincere CONGRATULATIONS :aktion033: ON MAKING WONDERFUL DECISIONS!!!



:

Best of luck to you in your adorable new home!


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## MiniHoofBeats (Oct 29, 2006)

Thanks again everyone, your continued support is continuing to help me through this =) I talked with my boyfriend one more time tonight and before I left he said to me "you know this whole thing is going to go down the drain, right?" and I asked him "what whole thing?" and he said "us" then he commented on how he is probably going to get a small apartment in town somewhere....that says more than a mouthful to me. I wish I was good at putting these thoughts into words.

Well, I am very nervous to be out in the country by myself, i'm trying to convince my best girlfriend to move out with me and maybe i'll get her out there...I hope so! I don't know though, she too likes to have friends and be at the bars...she said she wants to get together with me tomorrow to talk about it...I hope we come to a conclusion and I am really praying she will come out, if even for a few months to keep me company until I am on my toes. She lives with her parents and could always go back if things don't work. *crosses fingers*

Our current home is on month to month so no biggy if I can send in a 30 day notice on Monday and a phone call to let them know of the written notice they will be receiving.

I am not sure yet if I am scared, or what...but I keep getting waves of panic of "what if's" and I do calm down after re-assuring myself but I think I am still worried about living by myself. *sigh*...but then, I like living in seclusion...i'm one of those weird young kids that doesn't like the bars, that would rather sit home watching a movie with no one there to bug me lol...it's still nice to know there's another body in the house though other than the 4 legged or 2 wing-ed type =)

Well anyhoo, I am going to be looking for some cattle panels...the square grid kind, 4' tall by 16'...if anyone in or near WI has any extra's they don't want anymore, i'd love to hear from you! I have TONS of T posts but only 4 panels and that wont get me far for fencing...!! lol...I suppose if I can at least get the T posts in before the ground freezes I can worry about the fencing later!

Well again...thank you everyone for all your kind help and support...I have yet to break down and really cry over this, I think it'll happen soon but you all are keeping me strong =)


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## nootka (Oct 29, 2006)

I know it's unsettling, but you WILL do just fine and you will look back and wonder what the big deal was. Remember if it doesn't work out quite as you hoped, it will still be a very positive thing to have undertaken and a learning experience (plus getting rid of the big "baby" is a bonus and getting out of that cesspool/moldpit!)

Liz


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## Sonya (Oct 29, 2006)

Cattle panels are great, but alittle pricey. I use 4ft welded wire 1x2 squares no climb goat fence. I did need to put a string of electric inside it to keep them from scratching their bums on it and making it sag. The welded wire is very inexpensive though and even with the cost of the string of electric was way less than the cattle panels. Nice plus with the panels though....they are easier to remove and reuse.

this link only shows the 3ft, but I know they have the 4ft too

TSC

As far as being out in the country...I feel safer out in the boonies than in town! The boyfriend....don't let the door hit ya where the good lord split ya!

Good luck and keep us posted!


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## MiniHoofBeats (Oct 29, 2006)

Thanks yet again, everyone is so helpful here! I am beginning to wonder if I will make it out there, I mean I know I will when December rolls around but I recently borrowed $600 from my dad and promised him $100 back a week until paid off...so November I am going to be at least $400 short and I just don't know if i'll make it...even if I do, i'll have to put at least $300 on my credit cards to make up for where I fell short for November, i'll have to pay that off in December and eek i'll be barely squeeking by until January! I wish I had another way of bringing money in, I would get a second job but then I wont be able to stop home to feed my colt in the evening...I wish I was handy like Joe, with his hobby of buying old bikes, atv's, etc fixing them up and selling them for like $5-600 boy, I would be able to live a lot better like that!

I think i'm still going but...I am not so sure anymore...I know I could make it if I didn't already have money dedicated to so many places...*sigh*...well on a good note, my friend said she would be willing to keep my little guy at her place for a few months so i'll be okay to continue looking, but I wonder if i'll come across another place to rent in the country that will allow me to bring him too. Still up in the air....I only have $50 down for the deposit so far, supposed to meet the landlord tomorrow to give him the rest so I have time to say hey, just keep it for the troubles and move on...but I am not sure that I want to...ack...too much going on!


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## Yaddax3 (Oct 29, 2006)

MiniHoofBeats:

If many of us knew about your financial situation, I doubt the consensus would have been to rent the place in the country without first doing a reality check about whether you can afford it.

Please don't take what I'm about the say the wrong way. It is not a criticism. It is a question: Do you believe you are impulsive, whether it's with boyfriends, minis or places to live?

If you believe you are impulsive, perhaps that realization will help you guard against it in the future. If you don't believe you're impulsive, well, maybe you should ask some friends and relatives you trust what they think.


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## Reble (Oct 29, 2006)

MiniHoofBeats,

Ok, now we know why your Dad thought this was not a good ideal. :no:

Talk to your Father or Mother again.

Good Luck


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## mininik (Oct 30, 2006)

You definitely need to get out of the relationship you're in. You're just not right for one another. There shouldn't have to be so many issues, day in and day out. Life's too short for all that drama. Move on.

Next, where to move to? How about living with you parents again, at least for a while? Or do any of your friends or family have a place where you could crash? This mold and "relationship" situation is crazy enough, but living out in the country alone and absolutely STRAPPED for cash won't be any better.

Sometimes, unfortunately, you've got to give up what you love just to make it. There is a reason your dad wants to look at life "negatively" (financially) first and that's because it takes money to live. It's just not realistic to think you'll be happy homeless or nearly so, hugging your beloved critters. They'll be suffering for it, and so will you. Maybe you could (even for free) lease your Mini to someone special until you get your life under control.


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## Marty (Oct 30, 2006)

OK HOLD THE PHONE ........BEEP BEEP BACK THE TRUCK UP

I'm sorry to report that after reading this last page, I'm going to have to "un-support you"........

I didn't realize that when you first posted this that you couldn't afford this place and actually it sounds to me that you can't afford the other place without your boyfriend.

I'm going to have to agree with your dad:



I told my dad about this and as usual, he looks at everything from a financial view before anything else and the first comment out of his mouth was that I was going to financially flop and end up in dept up to my ears.

I think this is move a train wreck about to happen. I was under the impression that you were financially ok but it sounds like you are not. Although this place sounds perfect, you shouldn't be having to sell off the lamps and furnishings just to get in there.

My idea for you would be to sit down with your dad who may not have a great way with words, but he seems to have a very good way with doing the math. I'd let him write down all your expenses for you, and your income and go over everything together to see exactly where you stand on paper before you make another move. You don't want to get in that house and find out that you can't pay the next month's rent in the middle of winter, must less starve to death and not be able to afford a CHRISTMAS TREE either!

I'm worried that out of desperation, you may end up with a real weenie for a room mate that can also cause you problems. I was in the same boat when I was very young and I tell you I ended up with the strangest room mates that you could not even imagine. Very weird characters, even more goofy that me, that never did pay their end of the bills by the way and left me stuck with theirs.

Your dad may be able to come up with a budget for you and that would be a good thing before you get in over your head. And PLEASE do stay away from the charge cards because that is just another hole you will dig for yourself at a very young age. If there is a way to make this work out for you, I'll bet you that your dad can help figure it out with you. It's not that he wants to bring you down, it's that he's your dad and doesn't want to see you get in over your head so cut him some slack here ok?

I want to suggest to you that you slow it down, and go talk to dad real quick. Then re-group and see where you stand after you see the figures written down on paper. I do admire your spunk and your spirit and wanting to take control of your life, but this may not be that time just yet and unfortunately you might have to suck mold just a little while longer.

Good luck!


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## Sonya (Oct 30, 2006)

I agree with what the last few posts have said. If you are going to have to "live" on your credit card, this is not a good idea.

My advice...definately get out of the moldy place...have you ever heard of stachebotris (I know I didn't spell that right)...it's a type of mold that will kill you in a very short period of time, it is highly toxic. I know you care for you boyfriend and of course I don't know all the story, but you've already said he is emotionally and verbally abusive to you. Ditch him...you are too young to start a cycle like that. Emotional and verbal abuse is no different than physical, except the bruises are only on the inside, not the out.

Can you move back home to your parents? I know this will be tough especially after being kinda on your own. But this could be your ticket....move home, get your finances straight and then look for a place where you can keep your mini and be self sufficient and not rely on anyone.

I wish you the best of luck.


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## Ashley (Oct 30, 2006)

I agree. If you will have to live on your credit card it isnt worth it. This past summer do to some unexpected things I to had to live on my credit card for about 4 months. Let me tell you it sucks. I am not one to like to have debit. I am slowly paying it all off, as much as I can a month but its not easy to get rid of it once its there.

Also look at how sturdy your job is? Will it always be there or do you have a chance of getting laid off?

I only say that because now is the time of year lay offs happen and it can be hard to squeek by. I to am giveing up some things I really really didnt want to give up, but I do know for about 99.9% sure I will be layed off this winter. Which would be from prob Dec.-April. The first and formost important thing is to make sure I can get by with my bills. Yes horses are part of this but I do get lucky if I need help getting through the winter in that end, my mom will cover it for me until I am back to work. Then I would just have to make payments to her.

But again, I seriously recommend that if you are liveing on CC dont do the move there.


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## MiniHoofBeats (Oct 30, 2006)

Well I am glad to hear everyones point of view, but I need to clear that only November will be a tough month, and that's all, one month. My family is being very supportive and is helping me out with early christmas gifts of money which is going to make November go by much smoother =) I did what my dad told me and put it all down on paper, rent, bills, hay, feed, vaccinations, de-wormer, food for me, gas, etc. It is a LOT to look at, but after I got it all down on paper and double checked to make sure I didn't forget anything, I can still easily afford the place by myself with extra $$$ to spare. I will obviously be living on a budget, but i'll end up still saving money each month which is where I want to be! If I would have come up in the negatives, then I would have backed down and said no...but I am really glad I sat down and went through a financial plan and budget.

I will still be looking for a roomate, wacky or not lol...I don't care as long as they PAY their half, don't steal, or abuse my animals, etc...as long as they PAY their half LOL!

I work for my parents, so i'm not so much worried about getting laid off in winter...it's a good job, and pays more than most others out there!

We'll see how it goes, i'll keep everyone updated, and again I do appreciate all your opinions!


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## justjinx (Oct 30, 2006)

steff--so glad you made the choice to move. first, for your health safety!!!! second, to make YOU happy! you need this place and you need to be there with or without the guy. You will be happier and healthier, so GOOD FOR YOU!

jennifer :saludando:


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## irishmini (Oct 30, 2006)

Lisa-Ruff N Tuff Minis said:


> Boyfriends come and go.. sadly husbands come and go(as do girlfriends and wives) the worst way to start or stay in any relationship is to allow resentment to build and by not doing what you truly feel is right you will resent him.
> 
> If he moves when he isnt ready he will resent you.
> 
> ...


so true so true...well said, ruff and tuff!!!!


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## Sonya (Oct 30, 2006)

If you have figured out a budget and can do it, then definately go for it, you will be very happy there. Maybe instead of using the credit card to help for the month of November you can borrow it from your parents so you won't be paying interest...I know that sucks...I've had to ask my parents for extra cash when I was younger and I hated it.

However you end up doing it, Congratulations! You will love it there! Show your Dad how you budgeted everything out and I'm sure he will support you and be proud, maybe even help you for November without you even having to ask.

Good luck and Congratulations....make sure you post pics of the inside when you get all moved in!


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## MiniHoofBeats (Oct 30, 2006)

Ugh...well I hate to be saying this now after so much of everyones support, but I decided not to get the place. I am going to continue looking for a place with land to rent, but somewhere closer and cheaper. My ultimate goal is I want to save money to buy a house, and the more I think of it, the more I just wonder if i'll be saving enough money at this place, or not...I know i'll have money left over but lord knows emergencies come up and unexpected bills. My friend has offered to watch my colt for a couple months so I do have some time, but I just...I really wish I had someone else, a friend of mine, to move out to this place with me! I would jump at it in a heartbeat if I had someone coming with me but by myself I just don't know. *sigh* anyone from WI want to come rent with me? LOL!...

I am so up in the air it's just ridiculous...but...well, i'll keep everyone posted!


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## Yaddax3 (Oct 30, 2006)

Let me see if I've got this straight: You're getting it. You're not getting. You're getting it. You're not getting it.

I wouldn't be surprised if, within the hour, you'll be getting it again.

Words just don't sum up what I'm thinking. Maybe this will ...

EI-YI-YI-YI-YI!

You're life is more fascinating than anything on TV. Matter of fact, your life should be a reality TV show. I'd be glued to the set.


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## Relic (Oct 30, 2006)

Maybe you could take up writing short stories in your spare time for extra income.


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## Sonya (Oct 30, 2006)

Geez Steph! Well I definately wouldn't stay in that moldy place any longer. I'm not sure if I'd even worry about giving a months notice...that place is dangerous. Not to mention, your boyfriend doesn't sound like a great prospect either...I'm sure he has his good points.......somewhere.

I think you should move back home with your parents for now and get your finances straight and figure out what you want...that's my advice. Look into finding a place that will do "rent to own" when you do start looking, make a plan and stick to it...you'll eventually figure everything out. I wish you the best of luck.


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## MiniHoofBeats (Oct 30, 2006)

lol i've been told before that my life seems more like a TV sitcom! Here I am wanting to move into a house in the country, get my life back, 3 year relationship is going down the tubes over a 20 minute drive, and now I am hearing my mom's job is in jeopardy! She is paid on the clock 8am-5pm but always is still at work until 11-12 trying to get the loads of paperwork done that she is handed down...she is even in on weekends, she practically LIVES at work, gets paid maybe 6 hours overtime of the 70 hours she puts in....and now they're bashing her because she is a couple minutes late coming back from lunch...*sigh*...she doesn't think she'll ever find a job that pays as much or has as good of benefits, but her boss and co-workers all down talk her, degrade her, swear at her, etc....

Like I said, I am still up in the air on this place! I really, really really really want to get it and I know I could make it, but I am getting cold feet...I am so nervous to be living out there by myself, and lord knows when i'll find a potential roomate.

Sorry just wanted to add - I cannot move in with my dad and step mom, they apply rules such as be home by 9pm or you're locked out, no noise, only approved friends allowed over, etc...I am too used to my freedom to let it go lol...and my moms house has been completely converted into CAT HAVEN...both spare rooms are kitten rooms or storage. I would be infringing on her cattery space if I tried moving back in there, plus I am horribly allergic to her cats *ack*

It's either this country place, scratching by but with my love, mini's! Or in the city, cheap, but still without my hobby and bored...my best friend said she would move with me if we can find a place that is country, but within 10 minutes of Appleton...which is the same rule that applies to my boyfriend...weird....


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## Reble (Oct 30, 2006)

I believe we all have done this once in ours lives, jump the gun and end up back where we started.




:

Ok, since you are still up in the air about the Country forget it. It should just feel right.

You are scared and you would have to do everything on your own.

So lets step back a few days and talk about the Mold.

Get a hold of landlord and who ever else you need to and get that fixed up, first.

It is the landlords responsibility. If you have too talk to a lawyer, for advice.

*You Quote*: Ok so as most of you know, i've been working with my town to allow miniature horses...it's been going REALLY good, Well, the bad news is that this would only work on my property, if I ever moved/ So right now do not move & you will have your mini and boyfriend with you.

The town will allow your mini there, so get that ball moving.

3 years in a relationship sounds like you are not willing to give that up.

So boyfriend and you stay together.

Somethings you cannot change.

But these things you can? Good Luck

Problem Solved, I Hope.

Stay and get things right :aktion033: :aktion033: :aktion033:


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## Yaddax3 (Nov 1, 2006)

Well ...

What's the latest? You can't lure us into your life like you did and then stop giving updates.

Did you move to the country place of somewhere else? Did you dump the boyfriend? Are you still looking for a roommate?

Throw us a bone here, will you?


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## MiniHoofBeats (Nov 1, 2006)

lol sorry, "all about me" sitcom was on temporary relief!

Well, we ended up talking more about each others issues and how feelings got stepped on, and we agreed that compromises need to be made, from BOTH of us. We both decided to rewind the clock and start where we should have, by getting the health department here in the house to check if our living conditions are hazardous. We scheduled for a 2:00pm this Friday. If the house is too hazardous to live in, we then get to decide if we want to bring it up with the landlord, or move. If we bring it up with the landlord, option A is they put us in a hotel while they pay crud loads of $$$ to fix the basement, or option B the house is just labelled condemned and we have to move...I would at least like to get our deposit back and a peeved off landlord doesn't get that LOL!

SO...if the house is not hazardous, we are going to stay here through the winter and look for a country home to move into next spring.

Problem solved for now! I know many of you are probably pressing lips tight together right now...me too and my family but, like stated above, 3 years is too long of a relationship to just throw away without talking things through. He can be a butthead sometimes but, I still love him!



:


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## Reble (Nov 2, 2006)

Don't worry what others think. What is best for you?

Talking things out, makes good sence. We all forget how to communicate in a relationship at times.

Getting the health department involved was smart.

Good Luck



:


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## Robin1 (Nov 2, 2006)

I'm glad you have a plan.



> 3 year relationship is going down the tubes over a 20 minute drive


I don't think your relationship problems have anything to do with a 20 minute drive. If he was happy in your relationship 20 minutes is nothing.

Robin


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## MiniHoofBeats (Nov 2, 2006)

Robin, I have zipped my lips on that one...believe me, I know 20 minutes is nothing! I told him flat out that I guarantee if I find a place that is 10-15 minutes outside of town that he said he would be happy to move to, and he then tells me he no longer wants to, then that is it...over...i'm not giving up a second place and he knows it!


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## Yaddax3 (Nov 2, 2006)

MiniHB:

I'm calling in sick Friday just so I can sit by the computer and wait for the update on what the health inspector has to say about your mold-encrusted home.

I'd like to go to a movie in the evening, so don't dilly dally. Please post ASAP.


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## Vertical Limit (Nov 2, 2006)

Heavens no..........why should it be closed? It's better then the last soap opera I saw......

"The Girl Who Cried Wolf" :lol:




:

I am also staying tuned to "As The Mold Multiplies". Or how bout

"There is a Fungus Amongus"

Now if MiniHoof wants it closed that's her business. Her wish is just a delete button away.


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## Yaddax3 (Nov 2, 2006)

> I predict this post will be closed any time...it's heading south....



Heading south? Don't be a sourpuss, barnbum. Just because you're not pulling for MiniHoofBeats like the rest of us is no reason to say the post is heading south.


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## Jill (Nov 2, 2006)

Well, from what I can gather, it doesn't seem to me like Yaddax and MiniHoofBeats have any plans to become room mates!


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## Yaddax3 (Nov 2, 2006)

> Well, from what I can gather, it doesn't seem to me like Yaddax and MiniHoofBeats have any plans to become room mates!


I'm not sure I know what that means. I'm pulling for MiniHoofBeats to come out of this A-OK. If we lived anywhere near each other, I'd rent her a mold-free room.

As for this ...



> I am also staying tuned to "As The Mold Multiplies". Or how bout"There is a Fungus Amongus"


... All I can say is: Now that's funny. Vertical, there is no limit to your humor.


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## Sonya (Nov 2, 2006)

> sourpuss??? Wow! I've never been called that before.


Karla a sourpuss....never, she is one of the nicest ones on this forum!


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## Lisa-Ruff N Tuff Minis (Nov 2, 2006)

Vertical Limit said:


> I am also staying tuned to "As The Mold Multiplies". Or how bout
> 
> "There is a Fungus Amongus"



Ok now really shouldnt there be some warning.. darn it not only did water spit all over my keyboard.. but it came out my nose as well.. thanks for laugh carol.. just wish it wasnt right as I was drinking lol


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## Marty (Nov 2, 2006)

I don't like the boyfriend. :new_shocked: :new_shocked: :new_shocked:

I like the mold better than the boyfriend.



:


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## lyn_j (Nov 3, 2006)

[SIZE=14pt]I have been feeling really sorry for Stef..... The reason being that she is so full of ideas, not bad ones but just out of order ones.... I know she loves horses but , Stef, your life situation doesnt warrant adding a horse right now. You arent in a settled comitted relationship, nor are you still living at home, you are living from paycheck to paycheck in a month to month not so great place.... Your excitement over getting these horses the past month is admirable but I really think that because of your inability to make decisions well, your impulsiveness and then sadness at having to back out of things etc.... you need to get YOU straight before you add a boyfriend horse, dog. anything. I see you as a rollercoaster type oerson, really up and excited and forging ahead sometimes without thinking things all the way thru and then being VERY depressed when it doesnt go the way you plan. I know you are really a great kid.... well little older than kid but in your posts I see, highs, lows, flight of ideas and inability to find direection and stick to it. You seem to get upset with boyfriend then forgive all his issues just to stay in the relationship that I think is toxic for you...... Can you maybe take a year or so to just find YOU? maybe some councelling to help you with the highs and lows and impulsivity? Im not saying this to be down on you , Im fairly certain that is how you will take it but this is out of genuine concern for you. Really.[/SIZE]

Lyn


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## mountain_waif (Nov 3, 2006)

I think we all have ups and downs in our lives and that many of us live paycheck to paycheck....many of us just aren't as open to share our lives. A horse, just as a dog, could actually provide a good influence on her life...just another opinion.... I do hope things come together and work out for the best.

* Marty....we only have one side of that story....he may be completely different that we are led to believe...there must be something there that keeps her with him.

I can imagine this leading to script writing in Hollywood....a new career and lifestyle....any one know a good agent?


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## carolcrit (Nov 3, 2006)

lyn_j said:


> [SIZE=14pt]I have been feeling really sorry for Stef..... The reason being that she is so full of ideas, not bad ones but just out of order ones.... I know she loves horses but , Stef, your life situation doesnt warrant adding a horse right now. You arent in a settled comitted relationship, nor are you still living at home, you are living from paycheck to paycheck in a month to month not so great place.... Your excitement over getting these horses the past month is admirable but I really think that because of your inability to make decisions well, your impulsiveness and then sadness at having to back out of things etc.... you need to get YOU straight before you add a boyfriend horse, dog. anything. I see you as a rollercoaster type oerson, really up and excited and forging ahead sometimes without thinking things all the way thru and then being VERY depressed when it doesnt go the way you plan. I know you are really a great kid.... well little older than kid but in your posts I see, highs, lows, flight of ideas and inability to find direection and stick to it. You seem to get upset with boyfriend then forgive all his issues just to stay in the relationship that I think is toxic for you...... Can you maybe take a year or so to just find YOU? maybe some councelling to help you with the highs and lows and impulsivity? Im not saying this to be down on you , Im fairly certain that is how you will take it but this is out of genuine concern for you. Really.[/SIZE]
> 
> Lyn




sTOP FEEDING THIS KID THERE ARE 95 POST AND SHE ENJOYS THEM ALL


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## Reble (Nov 3, 2006)

I do not think we are feeding anyone, we are just concerned, just remember, you could be there one day and would like to have this forum care enough to help.

We are suppose to be there for each other.



:

If you read or reply, I guess we are all feeding


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## Warpony (Nov 3, 2006)

MiniHoofBeats said:


> We both decided to rewind the clock and start where we should have, by getting the health department here in the house to check if our living conditions are hazardous. We scheduled for a 2:00pm this Friday.



Good for you!!!!! Please do let us know how it turns out!



Reble said:


> I do not think we are feeding anyone, we are just concerned, just remember, you could be there one day and would like to have this forum care enough to help.
> 
> We are suppose to be there for each other.
> 
> ...


:aktion033:

well said.

I spend a lot of time at forums, and at one of them there is a person i have a very hard time dealing with because she seems to thrive on intentionally stirring up MAJOR drama. Yet many MANY of the posters there care very much about her (I do to, to be honest, I just can't stand getting pulled into her issues) and they DO want to keep talking with her, encouraging her, and picking her up when all her plans fall apart. So I simply don't read her threads, and we are all happy. If I see that she is the original poster in a topic I just don;t read that topic and go on about my business. It's very simple, really, and because I simply avoid things that bother me about her we all get along just fine, whether other people are "feeding" her or not.


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## Yaddax3 (Nov 7, 2006)

Just curious what the health inspector said about the mold.


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## MiniHoofBeats (Nov 7, 2006)

Wow, i'm so sorry everyone, I checked on this post a few times and no replies so I thought it died yet again...

Look at all the replies! I just have to laugh and go back and read them again, the Fungus Amongus was just a hoot!!!

And then the arguing broke out over supporting me or feeding me new ideas...I just want to say that yes, I do go through highs and lows, but who doesn't? That is human nature...anyone who lives through life just feeling "blah" 24/7 I honestly don't believe they are truly living...that is what I call "autopilot" where you just go through life every day, same thing, same routine like clockwork...where is the fun? I LIKE to feel happy, and when I feel sad that just shows me, I can still feel. It passes, life goes on, and I am happy again!

FUNGUS UPDATE

Yaddax - I am so sorry I didn't get to you on FRIDAY!

Department of health came in - basement is NOT TOXIC nor is it HAZARDOUS to our health. He said the main issue is that everything is in bags or cardboard boxes, and that mold thrives when cardboard gets damp. He said if he put everything in blue tubs, build shelves and get it off the floor, oh and once more spray down the walls and floor with bleach, that everything will be fine.

*phew* but I still feel that my lungs are encrusted with mold spores!

We have agreed only to live there through the winter, and come spring we are going to move out to the country (within 10 minutes of the city though) where I can have my mini and he can still be close enough to work.

Thank you so much everyone, for your support, I think this is THE MOST supportive thread i've ever posted on here...I can't thank you all enough, you've helped pull me through the bad, and the good, and you even added a little humor =) My life is full of ups and downs, but that is how I like it! That is me...and I like me =)

Thank you



:


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## Yaddax3 (Nov 7, 2006)

MiniHB:

It's good to hear the mold isn't a health issue.

And you're right. Live life. As someone recently said to me, "You canâ€™t discover new oceans if youâ€™re afraid to leave sight of the shore.â€


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