# It's Christmas



## LaVern (Dec 20, 2009)

I just found out I not only have some vegetarians coming for Christmas, but also some Vigens (my computer doesn't even know how to spell it). They even called and told me. Well, it will be a hot day in North Dakota, in December, before I am going to serve some of that artificial junk that the body doesn't know what to do with, to company. I am going to put more butter and cream in stuff than ever. And the roast is going to be big and very rare. And there is going to be more eggs used and every vegetable is going to have cheese on it. And after is all done, I am going to light up the old corn cob pipe and puff like crazy. Thanks for letting me vent. And no more of this happy holidays stuff. [SIZE=14pt]It is Christmas.[/SIZE] Oh, I feel better already.


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## AppyLover2 (Dec 20, 2009)

You GO GIRL!!!!




Tell it like it is!! I enjoyed your vent and am glad you feel better.


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## Bess Kelly (Dec 20, 2009)

Well, gee whiz



A veggie tray would be easy to do and great for EVERYONE



Just some prep time, no cooking for that one.



Baked sweet potatoes are very high vit/min and can be thrown in the oven while other things bake.

Come on -- it's Christmas






BUT....your vent is OK !!!!


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## Minimor (Dec 20, 2009)

You go girl!

Frankly, I wouldn't even know what to serve if I had to prepare a vegetarian Christmas dinner. I think it would take more than a veggie tray and a few baked potatoes. I'm afraid that here they would get what I fix--which would not be a vegetarian meal at all--and they'd have to bring their own main dish.


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## minie812 (Dec 20, 2009)

MMMMM...Well Cheese WHIZ, kiddo. It is Christmas isn't it? They are guests, aren't they? If thats the case just stick some carrots and celery in a vase and pull out a jar of peanut butter (protein) and u should be set? Not only that u would have a unusual and eatable center piece and what they don't eat u could feed the horses (no waste either) PROBLEM SOLVED


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## ~Lisa~ (Dec 20, 2009)

Well my kid is a vegatraian.. not sure why or where it came from I can not remember the last time I ate a vegetable.





mashed potatos and salad do well for her at events like that


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## Marty (Dec 20, 2009)

It sounds to me like you don't even want them to enjoy themselves. My goodness. My hus is a bit of a vegan himself and we don't buy anything artificial; just mostly nice garden things.

I had a bunch of diabetics show up here for dinner once and I would have appreciated if they told me ahead of time. They couldn't eat this and couldn't have that and I felt awful. No one is ever supposed to leave here hungry! At least your vegans were nice enough to inform you! So with the information you have, why not be hospitable since you invited them to be your holiday guests and fix up a nice vegan tray like Bess suggested. Its no trouble and it IS Christmas and they are your guests. Come on, don't be a hostess grinch.


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## sfmini (Dec 20, 2009)

Yes, it is Christmas, what happened to Goodwill to your fellow man?

Vegans are toughish, ask them to bring a main dish, you provide loads of veggies, which will suit the vegetarians as well. Maybe some hummus dip, everyone loves that, just make one without any dairy (not sure there is a hummus without dairy anyway).

Vegans should be used to problems like this and should be happy to share.

Or, in the spirit of the season (the season for giving?) google vegan recipes. You will find loads and you might be surprized at how good the food tastes. At Thanksgiving, we tried a mashed potato dish made with olive oil instead of milk. Didn't taste too bad, kind of good. And no, it wasn't to accomodate vegans, it was an attempt to try something new that might be healthier and lower cal. I am a die hard carnivore but I do respect others' preferences.


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## minie812 (Dec 20, 2009)

Marty said:


> It sounds to me like you don't even want them to enjoy themselves. My goodness. My hus is a bit of a vegan himself and we don't buy anything artificial; just mostly nice garden things.
> I had a bunch of diabetics show up here for dinner once and I would have appreciated if they told me ahead of time. They couldn't eat this and couldn't have that and I felt awful. No one is ever supposed to leave here hungry! At least your vegans were nice enough to inform you! So with the information you have, why not be hospitable since you invited them to be your holiday guests and fix up a nice vegan tray like Bess suggested. Its no trouble and it IS Christmas and they are your guests. Come on, don't be a hostess grinch.


darn those DIABETICS


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## LaVern (Dec 20, 2009)

I don't have anything against vegetarians, or any other people and I wish everyone a Merry Christmas, them too. And I wish them all the GOOD WILL in the world. But they can stay home and eat all the celery they want if they don't like what I am cooking. Just don't call me up and tell me what to cook in my house and tell me to go outside and smoke They are so better than thow and get so pushy.

Maybe I should make up a whole bunch of veggie stuff and some noodles and potatoes and set them outside on the picnic table.Yes I am going to do that.. I am even going to put a tree with their presents out there so that they can be ostracized like we unheathy people are made to feel most of the time. HA HA HA

Oh as long as I am shooting off. Most of these veggie relatives look so wimpy they probably couldn't throw 10 bales an hour. Whew-- this stress of the season is getting to me.


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## sfmini (Dec 20, 2009)

I am surprized they would even come visit for any length of time with a smoker.

That would be a deal breaker for me, I quit on Thanksgiving day 1987 after watching my mother die of lung cancer. I wouldn't wish that nightmare on anybody, and I will not expose myself to smoke any more. I swore I wouldn't be like that, but it makes me sick to my stomach and gives me a terrible headache, not to mention the stink on my clothes.


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## LaVern (Dec 20, 2009)

Well, don't come for Christmas, because it sure stinks around here then, between the cigarettes and the lutefisk. I wonder if you can get cancer from lutefisk?


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## miniwhinny (Dec 20, 2009)

Marty said:


> It sounds to me like you don't even want them to enjoy themselves. My goodness. My hus is a bit of a vegan himself and we don't buy anything artificial; just mostly nice garden things.
> I had a bunch of diabetics show up here for dinner once and I would have appreciated if they told me ahead of time. They couldn't eat this and couldn't have that and I felt awful. No one is ever supposed to leave here hungry! At least your vegans were nice enough to inform you! So with the information you have, why not be hospitable since you invited them to be your holiday guests and fix up a nice vegan tray like Bess suggested. Its no trouble and it IS Christmas and they are your guests. Come on, don't be a hostess grinch.


Gotta go with Marty on this one.

My sons roomate at college is Jewish so he's not going home for Christmas...so I told my son not to leave him there alone...bring him to our house and I'll make sure that there are plenty of foods here for him other than a nice juicy ham





We're feeding a vegitarian, a Jew, one who eats pig but not cow and then a bunch of meat eating carnivores...oh and two little kids who need everything smushed, mashed and nothing can touch anything else on the plate lol. We also have a Catholic, a Christian a Jew a Buddist an athiest and a few agnostics and we're all respectful of how we each celebrate.

Christmas, the holidays, Santa day whatever you call it or however you celebrate it as is a time for love and caring for our fellow man. It's the one time of the year that we all have an excuse to celebate each other and our differences. ..and to BE KIND.

HEHEHEH LaVern...you need a visit from Marley


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## Jean_B (Dec 20, 2009)

Good grief, LaVern - I'm sure glad you didn't serve Lutefisk that time we had the Ol' Broodmare Roundup Christmas party at your place a few years ago....even my dog turns his nose up at that stinky Norwegian food. Went to the Lut'ran church a few days after their annual Lutefish dinner and couldn't get the stench out of my clothes after 2 washings!!! Oh, but that standing rib roast, now that was a meal fit for royalty....all that prairie raised beef......YUM !! And all that protein gave us energy to stay up and talk into the WEE hours of the morning.


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## LaVern (Dec 20, 2009)

No, I think you guys are wrong. If I go to some ones else's place, I will join in with their traditions and eat their food graciously. Our traditions are-- our food. If they don't like it don't come. I'll meet you in town and we can sit in a no smoking McDonalds and I'll buy you a salad.

If prime rib and turkey and ham and barbecue ribs and all the dozens of different traditional foods aren't good enough tough,


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## muffntuf (Dec 20, 2009)

Ask them to bring their favorite dishes to share, that's easy and takes all the burden off your shoulders and puts it back on theirs.


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## LaVern (Dec 20, 2009)

Like h e double toothpicks. My kitchen my menu.

If these youngsters want to come from the city to enjoy a down on the farm Christmas they are going to get OUR Down on the farm Christmas, not a down on the farm Vegin Christmas.


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## Annabellarose (Dec 20, 2009)

Wow.



I thought that _I_ was the Christmas grinch!

If I were a vegetarian or a vegan I would not notify someone that was nice enough to invite me to dinner that I needed vegetarian or vegan dishes. However, as a host, I would accomodate them if they let me know in advance. I would accomodate them this time and then, if I felt as strongly as you apparently do about it, I would not extend an invitation to them in the future.

I don't smoke and I won't go to someone's house (especially for dinner) that smokes (but I won't tell them that's why, I just politely turn down the invitation). Sorry, smoking is disgusting, especially when you don't smoke. That said, I absolutely would not allow someone to dictate what I could or could not do in MY OWN HOME.

Since you feel so nasty-strong about this, why not just call the dinner off altogether or uninvite these individuals??? If I felt like that I would let them know how you feel and why you feel that way (so that they know how they "crossed the line", it might teach them some manners) and maybe go as far as to tell them that you retract your invitation. Better than letting them show up and treating them like crap. Think about it, having these nasty feelings about people you are spending Christmas with is NOT Christmas.


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## LindaL (Dec 20, 2009)

My SIL (and my brother til he decided he needed more protein and now will eat meat) is a vegetarian and has been a very long time. The only one in our family and still comes to every family get together where meat is always served. She brings her own "main" dish and eats what she can from the rest.

If you choose not to serve your guests something that they can eat; ask them to bring their own...usually vegans and vegetarians are more than willing to do that. As a hostess, tho, I would think you would be more "hostess-like"...JMO

As far as the smoking goes...while I do not smoke, I do agree that you have the right to smoke inside your own home if you choose to and if someone doesn't like it they can choose not to go to your house...period.

I hope you will change your mind and welcome your guests to your home even with different eating preferences than your own and serve some things that everyone will enjoy.

Merry Christmas!


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## Katiean (Dec 20, 2009)

If I were a guest at someones home for Christmas or any other time for that matter, I would not EXPECT them to make something special for me. I can understand a diabetic as they HAVE to stick to a diet. However, a vegetarian it is a choice. So, IMHO, if you chose not to eat this or that then come and have dinner but bring your own don't tell someone "MAKE A WHOLE SPECIAL MEAL FOR ME". GO TO EXTRA EXPENSE BECAUSE I AM COMING TO DINNER. Then what if you do go to the expense and I don't show. Oh well. And would you really want to eat something that someone made for the first time and they didn't understand how to make it? No, I am with LaVern on this one. If you don't want what is on the menu then bring your own.


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## LaVern (Dec 20, 2009)

No, I am old and I will welcome all 80+ of them for three days and we will have a good old time laughing and singing and eating and if the other 10 want to eat what they feel is good enough for them they can go outside and eat it. I realize it it has become a small world and the children and the grandchildren are marrying into different cultures and families and creating their own traditions, but I am not going to change mine or feel like I have to make apologies for my cooking or behavior in my own house.

Okay I have vented enough. I am going down to make more white cookies.


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## backwoodsnanny (Dec 20, 2009)

For the record Im with LaVern on this one. IT is a case of manners so sadly lacking with many today. When I go to a friends house who does not smoke I dont smoke while I am there not even outside out of RESPECT for the fact that they dont smoke when I am invited for dinner I dont say oh dont make turnip cause I dont eat it. I join them in their meal and eat what I can of what is served and graciously thank my hostess for inviting me. I am willing to bet that not very many of us are serving 100 members of the family for Christmas dinner which is what LaVern has said she is doing. I say make the guests aware of what will be served and that it is a SMOKING household and they can decide for themselves wether to come and bring what they can eat or stay home. I have it easy here as we have around 20 and everyone brings something and we put together a buffet with whatever each person chooses to share. That way no one family is responsible for all of the expense involved and we never send anyone away hungry. Stick to your guns Lavern its your house and your function if they choose not to come it is their loss.


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## Little Hooves (Dec 20, 2009)

LaVern said:


> No, I am old and I will welcome all 80+ of them for three days and we will have a good old time laughing and singing and eating and if the other 10 want to eat what they feel is good enough for them they can go outside and eat it. I realize it it has become a small world and the children and the grandchildren are marrying into different cultures and families and creating their own traditions, but I am not going to change mine or feel like I have to make apologies for my cooking or behavior in my own house. Okay I have vented enough. I am going down to make more white cookies.


If they know you to be a very traditional person, then they shouldn't expect anything more. As a guest, you can't expect food to be catered to your wants. I have never gone to someone's house and cursed them for using mushrooms in a soup or sauce. I would just pick them out or not eat the soup and may mention it's because I don't like mushrooms. I don't know - to be a guest and say "hey, here is a list of foods I won't eat, so please don't use them," would be rude under normal circumstances. Vegans and vegetarians choose to eat that way, whether for morals or for health reasons. As a host, your responsibility may be just warning them ahead of time whether or not you will cook food for them or, as it was mentioned earlier, let them bring their own dishes. Hey, you could get them to organize their own little veggie potluck.

But, my personal opinion - vegans are crazy! I could never cook for them or understand HOW you can eliminate foods from animal products. My favorite: HONEY! I could not live without it and




heh, can't understand why anyone would reject the nectar of the Gods. Those vegans... crazy! And their cookies must BE SO BLAND without honey, butter, eggs and milk chocolate.


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## chandab (Dec 20, 2009)

backwoodsnanny said:


> For the record Im with LaVern on this one. IT is a case of manners so sadly lacking with many today. When I go to a friends house who does not smoke I dont smoke while I am there not even outside out of RESPECT for the fact that they dont smoke when I am invited for dinner I dont say oh dont make turnip cause I dont eat it. I join them in their meal and eat what I can of what is served and graciously thank my hostess for inviting me. I am willing to bet that not very many of us are serving 100 members of the family for Christmas dinner which is what LaVern has said she is doing. I say make the guests aware of what will be served and that it is a SMOKING household and they can decide for themselves wether to come and bring what they can eat or stay home. I have it easy here as we have around 20 and everyone brings something and we put together a buffet with whatever each person chooses to share. That way no one family is responsible for all of the expense involved and we never send anyone away hungry. Stick to your guns Lavern its your house and your function if they choose not to come it is their loss.


Me, too!

my family has always been meat eaters (and vegies and fruits too), and I married a rancher, so we eat beef and love it. Traditionally Christmas is ham for my family and usually turkey for my husband's family; but with all the fixin's to go with the meat, surely a vegan or vegetarian can find something to fill up on... Breads, salads, potatoes, yams, and more. I've been to plenty of dinners where there are foods that aren't my favorite and as long as I'm not allergic, I suck it up and either eat it if that's all that's there (I can always eat) or eat the things I do like.

Edited to add: I forgot one thing... When I was growing up my mom always said she didn't run a restaurant, if you didn't like what was served you could go hungry. And, she stood by her statement with few exceptions. [Company coming and demanding something otehr than what was served, was not one of those exceptions.]


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## Minimor (Dec 20, 2009)

Not sure why a hostess should bend over backward to accomodate fussy guests--all that does is make the holiday gathering miserable for herself, and that's not right either.

I am a non-smoker, plus am extremely allergic to cigarette smoke. Even so, I would never expect anyone to not smoke in their own home just because I am there visiting. Rather I would take allergy medication and put up with the smoke--that works for a short visit. If I'm there for several days that doesn't work--in spite of taking 24 hour allergy pills every 12 hours I still have hives...major hives...constantly, and will be wheezing and coughing.

I am not a vegetarian but there are foods I don't care for. I don't expect any hostess to not serve those just because I don't like them--I will make do with what is on the menu otherwise...if I were afraid that it would be too sparse then I'd just make sure that I brought some dish that I do like, so I'll know that I have one thing to eat that I like! I don't think that it is wrong or unhospitable to expect the same from others. I don't think that anyone should have to cook 6 different main dishes to accomodate 6 different guests, and then have the main menu item for the rest of the gathering besides. That's a bit much. I also don't think the main gathering of traditional eaters should have to eat non-traditional menu items to accomodate the minority.

Good manners dictates to me that I should take a dish along with me to any holiday gathering I attend, and I rather expect the same show of good manners from any guests.


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## Miniv (Dec 20, 2009)

I agree with the comments that bring up MANNERS.........

When going to someone else's house, it is VERY poor form to demand that people bow to your lifestyle. You are walking into that other person's lifestyle, so it's up to YOU to conform to what is presented to you....... (Sort of like visiting another country! Wish OUR country -- the U.S. would do this.)

There SHOULD be something a vegetarian or vegan can eat......ie, green salad, plain mashed potatoes or yams, a vegie platter......

And if all else fails......those picky guests can always BRING THEIR OWN........Afterall, the idea is about getting together as friends and family!

Ma---


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## LaVern (Dec 20, 2009)

One more thing and then truly I will shut up. I kind of depends on the gathering. Like picnics here- everyone brings something. But when I am doing a big one. - And I love to do it. - I hate it when people bring something. I had the most wonderful mother in law in the world and she would drive me crazy, I would have everything planned and here she would come in carrying a bunch of different dishes, that I felt I had to serve and I had already made something similar. Desserts too. But Oh, what I would give to see her come in the door with her arms full again, but at the time I would grumble under my breath. And I don't like my guests to do dishes either. Except for Jodie.


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## Marnie (Dec 20, 2009)

I guess I would have a different attitude completely. I would hate it if some of the guests didn't want to eat much. I'd rather have them tell me ahead of time and I'd have no problem making a cool veggie tray. I absolutely respect people's idea of how they want to eat and would rather know ahead of time. I would make my meal as planned and just try something new too, so I could try to please everyone. If they didn't like it, so be it but I'd try. As far as the smoking, it'd gag me unless you gave me enough beer, I think I then I could inhale the smoke with glee! LOL


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## Vertical Limit (Dec 20, 2009)

LaVern said:


> No, I think you guys are wrong. If I go to some ones else's place, I will join in with their traditions and eat their food graciously. Our traditions are-- our food. If they don't like it don't come. I'll meet you in town and we can sit in a no smoking McDonalds and I'll buy you a salad. If prime rib and turkey and ham and barbecue ribs and all the dozens of different traditional foods aren't good enough tough,


*TOTALLY AGREE!* Let them bring a dish! It's hard enough cooking a traditional meal let alone trying to accommodate everyone elses personal menus. I would never dream of telling someone to cook something special for me. It has nothing to do with being a grinch or inhospitable......those people simply have bad manners! My daughter is a vegetarian/sometimes vegan and she knows to bring some of her own stuff and it doesn't bother her one bit! She knows how hard I work and she respects what I want in MY house.

And BTW......

[SIZE=18pt]*MERRY CHRISTMAS LAVERN!*[/SIZE]


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## Bassett (Dec 20, 2009)

I guess I would try to accommadate with something they could enjoy. But I didn't see where they told LaVern that she had to make them special things. They simply told her they were vegans. I may have taken it the wrong way.



As for smoking. If I know someone smokes I try to stay away because just the smell makes me sick.



And I smoked for 25 years. Nothing worse than a smoker who quit.



But I did quit 28 years ago. Merry Christmas everyone.


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## susanne (Dec 20, 2009)

Look on the bright side, LaVern -- I doubt you'll have to worry about them coming to Christmas dinner NEXT year!

As a type I diabetic, I can't have sugar (including honey) or high fat foods. I don't phone ahead and request special treatment, as I can usually find something that I can eat or I bend my dietary rules slightly, but family and friends usually call me to see if there's something they can add or change so that I can best enjoy their dinner.

Lately, however, my MIL has been doing somewhat as you threaten to do -- she serves deep-fried foods, brags about putting in extra fat, etc. Although we've always gotten along very well, she seems to feel that I have cheated Keith by "forcing" him eat a healthy diet. How horrible that we don't even keep a bag of sugar in the house!

Needless to say, her dinners don't exactly evoke those traditional family values of love, gracious manners, and making all feel welcome and accepted.

There is a quantum leap between expecting simple good manners and bearing a chip on the shoulder regarding how others live their lives.


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## Minimor (Dec 20, 2009)

I would take the view that anyone mentioning in advance that they are vegetarian does so with the idea that the hostess should be made aware of the fact so that special menu items will be provided. Otherwise, why mention it?


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## susanne (Dec 20, 2009)

I know that I've been thought rude for not eating something, even from people who know I'm diabetic. As in, if I had any manners, I'd eat it just to be polite.

It's possible they were simply letting their vegetarianism be known in advance out of fear of the potential reaction. From the attitude shown here by the OP, I could understand a family member preferring their unpopular choice be made known over the phone rather than over the dinner table.

It might have come across better they had said, "I just wanted to let you know that my diet is fairly restricted and I may not be able to eat everything, but I am so happy to be sharing Christmas dinner with you and the rest of the family."

It comes across here as if the OP is angry over the very fact that the relative IS a vegetarian or vegan. Forgive me if I've misinterpreted.

Then again, it's possible that they are just rude or clueless, but there's no need to be rude back. Two wrongs don't make a right.


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## LaVern (Dec 20, 2009)

I have settled down. I think I went a little crazy this morning when I was told of the Viggies coming. And I now have figured out why it upset me. We are in farm country, cattle, poultry, grain, swine. It is what we do. So I took offense because what they are saying is, that we are doing something wrong by helping to feed the country and a lot of the world. I sure would make something different if I knew someone was going to get sick from what I cooked. Merry Christmas Everyone.


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## susanne (Dec 20, 2009)

LaVern,

I'm sorry that their vegetarianism came across as an attack on you -- I highly doubt that they intended it that way at all.

Interestingly, in reading several blogs dealing with sustainable lifestyles, I was struck by the number of people who get much of their food from their organic gardens, yet still love meat. There is no need to break it down into a fight between vegetarians and meat eaters.

Take care, enjoy your family dinner, and have a very Merry Christmas!


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## miniwhinny (Dec 20, 2009)

I don't think they were being rude at all. Nowhere in the OP did it say they demanded their own food. It just said they mentioned there were veggies and vegans coming. I don't know how anyone could be offended by that. I certain wasn't offended when Andrew told me that Jeremy was Jewish and couldn't eat ham. Hey, I'd rather know that ahead than see the poor kid squirm because he can't eat it and go hungry and I would have been upset that someone didn't tell me! It's no problem for me at all to prepare something nice for him. It's actually showing way less manners to have a hostess go to a lot of trouble cooking a wonderful meal which you just push around the plate with a fork because you can't eat it - and being vegan is no less of a reason not to eat certain foods than a religious belief. It's much more polite to mention dietary needs ahead. It doesn't say you're demanding something special..it's simply saying I may not be able to eat everything. JMO.


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## Jean_B (Dec 20, 2009)

LaVern said:


> And I don't like my guests to do dishes either. Except for Jodie.


You mean all those times I did dishes - you were upset with me ?!?!?



Dang.....I'm so SORRY !!!!


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## AppyLover2 (Dec 20, 2009)

I totally agree with LaVern. If I had planned the huge menu she talked about, and plan to feed 80 people I'll be darned if I would appreciate being told (or it even someone inferring) that I needed to do more/special for certain people. How many of you have signs that say My Barn/My Rules? I'll even go a step further and say I'm surprised at how rude some of you were to LaVern. Like some of you said, it's Christmas, where's your goodwill?


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## RockRiverTiff (Dec 20, 2009)

I totally get LaVern's frustration, and I'd say their calling ahead could have just been polite notice, but them asking her to change her habits in her own home is ludicrous. That said, this is why I am so glad I'm not a vegetarian anymore! I was vegetarian for several years, and it wasn't a choice I made to spite anyone else, but when I told people they always acted like it was. After being ridiculed and railed at several times, one Christmas I _didn't_ tell the "chef," and when she presented me with a big meaty piece of lasagna and I declined she burst into tears. I tried to explain that I was a vegetarian, and that I was very happy with the sides I had, but she took it as a personal affront against her cooking. So I ate the darned lasagna. I'm glad I don't have to worry about offending people with my food choices anymore--there are so many other, more important issues to offend on!


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## Marsha Cassada (Dec 20, 2009)

No vegetarian main dish? As Marie Antoinette says "Let them eat cake!" There should be plenty of that at Christmas!


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## ~Lisa~ (Dec 20, 2009)

LaVern said:


> If prime rib and turkey and ham and barbecue ribs and all the dozens of different traditional foods aren't good enough tough,



YUMMMMM Prime rib YUMMMMMM boy add some chocolate- and some rolls and salad for Raven and it would be perfect






Seems to me in these days and these times there are plenty out there that would be grateful for any type of hot fresh meal- yes we all have our preferences but reality is if you have family or friends to sit down with and hot food on your table you are doing better then many and should enjoy it


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## Ashley (Dec 20, 2009)

LaVern said:


> I just found out I not only have some vegetarians coming for Christmas, but also some Vigens (my computer doesn't even know how to spell it). They even called and told me. Well, it will be a hot day in North Dakota, in December, before I am going to serve some of that artificial junk that the body doesn't know what to do with, to company. I am going to put more butter and cream in stuff than ever. And the roast is going to be big and very rare. And there is going to be more eggs used and every vegetable is going to have cheese on it. And after is all done, I am going to light up the old corn cob pipe and puff like crazy. Thanks for letting me vent. And no more of this happy holidays stuff. [SIZE=14pt]It is Christmas.[/SIZE] Oh, I feel better already.



Personally I think thats rude, but to each there own.


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## disneyhorse (Dec 20, 2009)

Wow...

Most good host/hostesses should be grateful for advanced notice of special needs guests. After all, people who eat meat can eat vegetarian dishes and vegan dishes, but it cannot work the other way.

I am very grateful that as a vegetarian myself, the people who host meals at work, family events, and other social events are gracious enough to provide opportunities for me. I always let them know that I am appreciative.

Christmas is not a time to be selfish, ignorant of others' needs, and negative.

Merry Christmas to all, and thank you to all those who host gracious get-togethers.

Andrea


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## ~Lisa~ (Dec 20, 2009)

disneyhorse said:


> Wow...
> 
> I am very grateful that as a vegetarian myself, the people who host meals at work, family events, and other social events are gracious enough to provide opportunities for me. I always let them know that I am appreciative.
> 
> ...


How about grateful for those friends that freak out and say my friend is a Pagen and coming to visit what do I feed her LOL OMG sometimes I am such a dork








To be clear Andrea is not a Pagen LOL


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## Cherokee Rose (Dec 20, 2009)

Well Lavern...maybe I should stop by and fix them some good o'le Biscuits and Gravey



maybe that'll turn'em...


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## disneyhorse (Dec 20, 2009)

~Lisa~ said:


> disneyhorse said:
> 
> 
> > Wow...
> ...



Hee hee hee... yeah... I am not a Pagan OR a Vegan!!! Just vegetarian!

Andrea


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## KanoasDestiny (Dec 20, 2009)

You know, I've been thinking about this situation all day. I wasn't really sure how I'd feel if I was the one involved because I can understand how someone wanting me to add "more" food dishes to an already big menu would be a bit frustrating.

That said, I know that if I was the one hosting the dinner, and I had invited "friends" and "family" to my house, I would try to make it as accommodating for them as possible. After all, they are guests in my home. I know that it is impossible to make everyone happy, but in that case, I would appreciate and welcome others bringing something to the party, especially if they had "special needs". Most guests feel that it is good manners to offer, or bring, an item along.

Life is too short to be upset over little things. It's the time of year to be giving, and to go out of your way to show others courtesy, even if it does involve a little extra work or swallowing your pride and allowing someone to bring their own dish. I'd think with 80+ people coming, others helping would be greatly appreciated! Lol. All I know is...with inviting that many people to your home, you must have a heart of gold (and good stress management). I hope that you have a wonderful Christmas Lavern.


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## Katiean (Dec 21, 2009)

Ya know guys, give LaVern a break. She is feeding 80 people and that costs a ton of money in the first place. I think the Vegans should just bring their own or eat what is prepared. They are the ones that choose to be different. Do we always have to serve the few? Why are the minorities always coming first in American life lately. They don't like the language...change it. They don't like the dress....Change it. They do not like Christ in Christmas.....Change it to Merry, Merry. They don't like to eat animals that God put on this earth to EAT. Well, lets change that too. There are a few vegans. Let them bring their own or go hungry.


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## susanne (Dec 21, 2009)

I had to go back and re-read LaVern's original post. Although it might have been an omission on her part, nowhere did she say that they ASKED her to prepare special food -- she said that they called and told her they were vegetarians.

People are ASSUMING that they asked, but I still say they likely were just letting her know so as not to offend. Now, if they truly asked her not to smoke in her own home, then that is indeed poor manners.

But then, it also appears that nobody has read LaVern's last post, which casts an entirely different light on the situation.


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## Marty (Dec 21, 2009)

Aw Lavern, I'm not sure I know where you are coming from because to me, you are coming across as a meany who is having some joy at being ornary. I have to wonder why on earth you invited these people if you don't want to be a nice hostess to them. Why not at least make an attempt to suck it up, get over the attitude and add a lousy veggie tray and stop being so hostile? What on earth can it hurt? I'm sure someone there can help you throw some lettuce on a dish for pete's sakes and if the truth be known, I'll bet you are an expert at salad type garden stuff. Actually, your menu sounds so good to me as is, I'd love to come over and help you out if I could travel and I'd even make the blasted salad tray.

That being said I do understand in a way that your planned menu has been messed with and that is obviously insulting you. Don't think of it like that. I'm sure no one was out to hurt or insult you in any way. Maybe they just came across badly somehow and didn't realize it was going to upset you.

And that reminds me of the time when......

Here we were down Florida at mothers home back in the 80's having our traditional ham and roast beef with all the trimmings. Mother was a rather "famous" gourmet cook to the stars actually and you did not mess with her food or dare bring a dish or deviate whatsoever from "her" menu. Ever! UNTIL>............she had invited her dear friend Jenny who was alone on that Christmas and just had lost her husband. Well Jenny was quite the Italian cook and unbeknownst to mother, brought over her famous lasagna and some other kinds of Italian dishes, plus desert. Oh brother....it looked like Jenny had provided a whole nother dinner of her own. Well, I thought mother would go through the roof........but instead, mother embraced her dear grieving friend, made room on the table for Jenny's generous contributions and we all thanked her as well. Moral of the story? I really don't know except that it doesn't hurt to be nice and a gracious hostess and love and accept love whenever you can.

Merry Christmas dang it LaVern anyhow





PS I am going to be dying to hear how this all comes out.


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## kaykay (Dec 21, 2009)

> No, I think you guys are wrong. If I go to some ones else's place, I will join in with their traditions and eat their food graciously. Our traditions are-- our food. If they don't like it don't come. I'll meet you in town and we can sit in a no smoking McDonalds and I'll buy you a salad.If prime rib and turkey and ham and barbecue ribs and all the dozens of different traditional foods aren't good enough tough,


Can I come??? Sounds yummy





Reminds me of the saying "my barn my rules" same thing goes with houses

Something I feel sure of is this is a tradition at Laverns house and the whole family knows it. Not like they dont know in advance there will be lots of meat served and smokers in the house


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## LaVern (Dec 21, 2009)

Good Morning. Marty -maybe you are right. Maybe I just like to be mean and Scroogie. But I think maybe I didn't explain. We live on the original homestead. So- to many in the family this is still home. And rightly so. Their grand parents and great grand parents grew up here. No one has to be invited- they know that they are welcome without an invitation. They just come.

This old place is their heritage too.

But, I think that they owe their existence to the wheat,barley,sheep,pigs,chickens,cattle,that were raised here. Their ancestors that scratched out a living on this frozen old prairie are probably rolling in their graves at the thought of them turning up there noses at beef, when they lived on trapping gophers when they first immigrated.

Oh, we do have a smoking area with fans that go out side.


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## LaVern (Dec 21, 2009)

Rose- If there was one thing that could do it, it would be your biscuits and gravy. Got lots of Aneta seasoned pork sausage in the freezer, come on up.


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## miniwhinny (Dec 21, 2009)

I find it interesting, and for myself a little sad, after studying many of the worlds cultures that in many places - the Middle East, far East, Pacific Islands, much of Eastern and Western Europe, gosh the list goes on and on....that a guest in your home is treated with honor and respect and it is a huge deal if a guest leaves your home and has not been treated well. In many cultures it's an insult not to extend every courtesy and welcome to a guest. You know the saying "my home is your home". Some of the reactions to this post are sad IMO....seems here in America that so many live a different way - "my barn, my rules".

Just my observations and my 2 cents


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## Marty (Dec 21, 2009)

Well LaVern, I think you made a breakthrough here because now I may understand that what you are really talking about may be about preserving tradition, in a round about way.

_This old place is their heritage too._

But, I think that they owe their existence to the wheat,barley,sheep,pigs,chickens,cattle,that were raised here. Their ancestors that scratched out a living on this frozen old prairie are probably rolling in their graves at the thought of them turning up there noses at beef, when they lived on trapping gophers when they first immigrated.

And I'm all about family traditions and keeping them sacred whether it be respecting the old homestead and being raised on the animals that they all grew up on.

Please visit my Christmas page...its all about tradition:

http://www.equineobsession.com/bravelittle...9/Christmas.htm

But unfortunately, when these things, sons and daughters marry, and give you grandkids and then they all marry.......you are talking now about decades and generations evolved and grew the family tree and lots of new blood now added in the pedigree. And with that comes change and many differences that we may not like or approve of. Don't get so defensive because they don't want to eat gophers anymore.

Maybe with this extended pedigree, they aren't all straight and upright any more. Maybe some aren't flagging their tails with gusto and spirit, and maybe there's some that aren't as submissive like we would have wanted in our people herd. The tree has branched out and they all are different and things have changed over time, a long time. Guessin' that is what makes the world go round.

We wish, we pray, they would all appreicate and respect what goes on at the old homestead. And I'm betting you they do. I'm willing to guess they appreicate the old values and way it used to be more than you could ever know; their heritage. And that is what they are really comeing back to you for as the matriarch of the family. You are their roots and they know this and that is why they are really coming back. Has nothing to do with your menu.

So let it be dang it and go get some blasted lettuce ready dear lady. They LOVE YOU!


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## Miniv (Dec 21, 2009)

I'm all for balance (within reason).........A green salad, a vegie platter.......etc..... AND, why can't they bring some things too? When ever we participate in big family gatherings, we ALWAYS contribute.


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## Bess Kelly (Dec 21, 2009)

Minimor said:


> I would take the view that anyone mentioning in advance that they are vegetarian does so with the idea that the hostess should be made aware of the fact so that special menu items will be provided. Otherwise, why mention it?



Possibly so the host/hostess did not take offense that they did not eat many of the bountiful offerings.

When I have guests with special dietary needs, I try to have a couple of items that they can eat and others will also enjoy. Now, some situations cannot be accommodated -- i.e. orthodox Jewish who keep kosher, sorry, just not set up. Several friends of mine are diabetic and I give consideration to them with foods selected, the preparation, etc. I don't have to change my entire buffet, just a couple things


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## Shari (Dec 21, 2009)

Well, my DH is allergic to anything Cow Dairy and it is every bit as bad as a peanut allergic. Could kill him. I have a diary allergy too but not as bad as DS. However.. I can't eat anything with added salt,, if I did.. would send me to the ER.

One reason I don't go places much,, even when DH was working. I find a lot people that have never had a life threatening food allergy, are willing to understand. I always get.. a little won't hurt you. Yet, they are not the ones that have been rushed to the ER.

So not to put people out, so not to offend anyone when we tell them we can't eat what they made and/or.. so they don't have to have safe food for us. We just don't go anywhere.

When we used to have guests over.. they ate what my family ate. Never knowing there was no added salt or dairy and they loved the food!! Then again, I am used to cooking this way and know how to make good tasting food!





When we used to visit my family, wayyyy back when.. we always took a couple of dishes of food over.. Plenty to share and to make sure we had something to eat. Most of my family has some kind of special needs.. so it was no bother.


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## Reijel's Mom (Dec 21, 2009)

If the vegans died on their way to your family gathering, would you regret a little bit all this negativity about food choices?

Don't sweat the small stuff. Never know what tomorrow will bring.


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## SantaClaus (Dec 21, 2009)

Message for Lavern


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## LaVern (Dec 21, 2009)

Oh Santa, I am going to turn over a new leaf. A lettuce leaf. I am going to be the best old 99 year old girl you ever saw. That is the coolest thing I have ever seen. It probably will be the thing I remember from 2009 Christmas. I will never again grumble about folks coming and just be glad they want to come. You guys have got to look at my message.


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## SantaClaus (Dec 21, 2009)

LaVern, I knew you had it in you. I know you are so generous with your time and all you do for your family and others at this time of year and throughout the year as well. Take a deep breath and don't try to do it all yourself. If my elves weren't so overloaded themselves I would sent them all to you to help you. Come to think of it, why don't you ask your guests, the vegans and vegetarians to bring something they like and explain to them that you feel overwhelmed with all the preperation of your bountiful menu and that it would great help to ease the stress of hosting so many? I think you will be surprised but these guests will probably be very happy to contribute and give something of themselves. Christmas should be a time of love, a time of compassion, a time of sharing. Jesus came to this earth to show us what humility and love is all about. Bless you my dear child for making so many others Christmas a memorable one.


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## wantminimore (Dec 22, 2009)

muffntuf said:


> Ask them to bring their favorite dishes to share, that's easy and takes all the burden off your shoulders and puts it back on theirs.






LindaL said:


> My SIL (and my brother til he decided he needed more protein and now will eat meat) is a vegetarian and has been a very long time. The only one in our family and still comes to every family get together where meat is always served. She brings her own "main" dish and eats what she can from the rest.If you choose not to serve your guests something that they can eat; ask them to bring their own...usually vegans and vegetarians are more than willing to do that. As a hostess, tho, I would think you would be more "hostess-like"...JMO
> 
> As far as the smoking goes...while I do not smoke, I do agree that you have the right to smoke inside your own home if you choose to and if someone doesn't like it they can choose not to go to your house...period.
> 
> ...


I agree with these replies.


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## LaVern (Dec 22, 2009)

One more thing. And I think you guys are right and Santa sure brought me around. But I still can't stand people bringing stuff and I can't change how I feel, but I will keep my mouth shut and say it looks lovely. My home and my food is my gift to them when they come.


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## KanoasDestiny (Dec 22, 2009)

LaVern said:


> One more thing. And I think you guys are right and Santa sure brought me around. But I still can't stand people bringing stuff and I can't change how I feel, but I will keep my mouth shut and say it looks lovely. My home and my food is my gift to them when they come.






That a girl LaVern!





I'm trying to listen to Santa's message but it isn't loading up for me...tick, tock...


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## txminipinto (Dec 22, 2009)

Lavern,

I'm chuckling as I read this because you sound just like me!! Except my issue is the definition of "family time" and "church" used in the same sentence. Christmas for the first time in history is happening at my house. Complete with Christmas Eve, Morning, and Dinner! All because of our newly adopted son who needs to be at HOME on Christmas. My sister is flying in from Michigan with her hubby and my parents are driving in from the hill country. But they are only staying until Saturday morning which isn't long enough since we haven't spent a Christmas together as a WHOLE family in over 6 years! My sister has insisted that we all go to church on Christmas Eve. Well, my husband and I don't attend Church. We don't have a problem with it, we just don't go. And our son has some very bad memories of church and I'll be darned (no pun intended) if I allow the stress of additional strange family and forcing him to go to church when we haven't in the 4 months we've had him disrupt and ruin the peacefulness and joy of Christmas(and those that know our son know that a temper tantrum will occur). My sister laid the guilt trip "it would be nice to spend some time as a family..." Well, I think God will forgive you if you skip Christmas Eve service just once to spend more time with your new nephew. But if you have to go that's fine, but we're not.

That didn't really go over well but I'm sticking to my guns and am going to enjoy Christmas instead of fighting with a 6 yr old about going to service. Its just not worth it.


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## ruffian (Dec 22, 2009)

I only had 20 people show up for my Christmas, and everybody brought something. For a lot of people, sharing the work - cooking, baking etc, - is part of their gift! I had a whole table full of food, and we just added tables to put their contributions on. They feel that since you have done so much work, they want to help out. Especially at Christmas! To say "Don't Bring anything" can make people uncomfortable.

So my advice, for what it's worth, just let the vegetarians and vegan pick what they want, don't push them to eat the GOOD food, and try to enjoy the other 70 people who are salivating over your offerings!

Hmm - thought -- Jim Beam, Johnny Walker, etc - is made from grains - -- maybe I should turn vegetarian too!


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## SantaClaus (Dec 22, 2009)

LaVern said:


> One more thing. And I think you guys are right and Santa sure brought me around. But I still can't stand people bringing stuff and I can't change how I feel, but I will keep my mouth shut and say it looks lovely. My home and my food is my gift to them when they come.


LaVern, LaVern, LaVern



I told you I would be watching you. My elves came running into my office today to tell me about the above





Being :arg! is not a good quality and you know better don't you. You don't want Santa to bring you a lump of coal

in your stocking? No, I didin't think so. You have to put



in your heart LaVern for everyone, even those you may not like as much as others. LaVern, why would you deprive others of feeling joy and pleasure at helping in bringing "stuff". This is the "grinch" in your talking and Santa Claus is disappointed in "grinches". You have now until Christmas Eve to open your heart LaVern. I hope you do that because i don't like to give out coal and it makes my sleigh alot heavier and that means I can't take as many presents with me because of the weight restriction for my reindeer. You don't want to deprive someone of receiving their gift because of the way you are behaving, right? RIGHT LAVERN? I thought so.

See you soon





Oh and LaVern, you CAN change the way you feel you are just choosing not to. You control your behaviour, nobody else does so if you really want to change those feelings, your the only one that can do it my dear.


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## miniwhinny (Dec 22, 2009)

LaVern said:


> One more thing. And I think you guys are right and Santa sure brought me around. My home and my food is my gift to them when they come.


YAHOOOOOOOO You go girl














Santa...you have to cut her a little slack...LOOKIE at how much her heart has opened up during the past day or two



It's a HUGE deal for a meat eater to put up with veggie crunchers...ask my hubby hahhahaha





LaVern...may you have the very, VERY merriest Christmas EVER ((((((HUGS)))))) With prime rib, and spare ribs and little crunchy carrot slivers



And lots of happy full guests.


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## SantaClaus (Dec 22, 2009)

You know what Miniwhinny, you are RIGHT!



LaVern has truly climbed a mountain and Santa was wrong to say I might have to bring her a lump of coal. It's just that I know LaVern so well, I have known her since she was just a wee thing. She could be stubborn even back then you know



but laVern, I am sooo very proud of you and if truth be told, I love Turkey and all the trimmings too. I didn't get to be my size by just eating veggies, hohohoho. All I ask of you my dear LaVern is take the time to enjoy all the warmth and happiness you will be bringing you family and friends on Christmas day. They truly do apprecate you and so do I


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## HGFarm (Dec 22, 2009)

LOL, yikes LaVern, after I watched the message and read Santa's notes to you here, I ran around and closed all the blinds and curtains! You dont want Santa to put you on the 'naughty' list!! Really, just enjoy the company of friends and family, dont pay attention to what they do or dont eat and have fun.

And I hope you get something in your stocking besides a lump of coal! LOL


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## Marty (Dec 23, 2009)

Holy cow LaVern, you really are being watched like a Hawk.....be careful young lady! You don't want Santa to rip you a new one! Not this close to Christmas!

I have to commend you that you seemed to have come around nicely in the past few days so keep up the good work. You'll never be sorry that you were the hostess with the mostess on Christmas Day. I know you can get through this. I just know you can!

When you gonna invite me?


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## LaVern (Dec 23, 2009)

Holy Cow Santa, This trying to be a good Christian at Christmas is tough. Made it through the neighbor ladies yesterday. That darn Alida brought her lefse. She is the best lefse maker in the county. There sat my dry half burned stuff. No body took mine.

I was dreaming last night of how I am going to someday outdo her. See- now we are dealing with competition and pride. Oh, Santa, bring on the coal.


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## HGFarm (Dec 23, 2009)

LOL, LaVern you know how to make lefse??!!! Oh man! Where's mine?? I guess I should just learn to make my own! Uff da!


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## LaVern (Dec 23, 2009)

Uff da Mida. The "Mida" is for emphasis. Mine is awful. But I will keep trying to beat Alida.


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## HGFarm (Dec 23, 2009)

LOL LaVern.... yep, keep after that lefse!!! Are you leaving some out for Santa??


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## LaVern (Dec 23, 2009)

If I left him some of mine, I am sure he would give my presents (if I get any) to Alida. You don't suppose I could get him to peek in Alidas cook book and find out how she makes it and let me know. No, I don't suppose he would do that. Maybe he has an elf that could be bribed.


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## Littleum (Dec 23, 2009)

Dumping cheese all over the veggies to spite the vegans? Are you serious? How rude is that. Would you do that if they were lactose intolerant? Diabetic?

How hard is it to put the cheese in a gravy boat and let people put cheese on it if they wish? How hard is it to throw a Tofurky in the oven? How hard is it just to smile and shut up and be grateful your familly/friends are there for the holidays at all?

David was a vegetarian for 10 years and we found it better to alert any hosts/hostesses that he was vegetarian. The few times he didn't and he declined the main (meat) course at the table, there was always an akward moment and the hostess was always very upset at not knowing. Don't assume they were calling to let you know so you could accomodate them with special food- they were probably calling to let you know so you wouldn't feel bad when they declined the main meat dishes. Most of the vegetarians I've met are perfectly content to eat whatever is suitable for them and do not expect special treatment.

Excuse me if I'm short tempered. We are working through the holidays this year. We weren't able to send gifts to but 2 people. I haven't seen my family for the holidays in 4 years due to living so far away and with our work situation. To be spiteful and bitter over something pitiful as the menu *$()#$#() me. Making tiny little concessions to valued guests is an act of love. It's not hard to put cheese in a gravy boat and it's not hard to swap chicken broth for veggie broth in stuffing.


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## Allure Ranch (Dec 24, 2009)

_[SIZE=12pt]LaVern you make me laugh.... Your just to darn funny. I love your soul bearing honesty. [/SIZE]_

Merry Christmas sweetie and have a great New Year....


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