# SOOOOO buddy sour!



## VerticallyChallenged (Aug 3, 2007)

I am having a lot of fun with my new girls! Gracey, the younger of the two, has been driving VERY well....she's a little spitfire...or can be, but put her in front of a cart and she knows her job! She doesn't care about being separated from Kochia, but Gracey has lived the 6 years of her life as a lone donkey, with a goat for a companion. Brief history on Kochia, the 14 year old, she came off a breeding farm a year ago last month. So of course she was around lots of other donkeys! She was a brood jennet there. She was sold with her last foal a year ago last month...... This spring she was sold again, with her yearling foal, and months later they were put up for sale. The little jack went first, and left her on her own for a month or so (she had mini horses, but no donkeys.) Now she's here. All of that in one year. I'm sure she's afraid she'll lose the buddy she's gotten attached to here. When I take Gracey out to drive, Kochia doesn't bray, but paces hysterically, rears, gets herself quite worked up. Sure, great excuse to get another donkey...and some day I will, but now two is the limit. I have thought about having her bred yet this year....then next year about this time she'll have a foal if all goes well...and there's my third! I feel bad for her, and it doesn't matter who is brought out...Kochia is the same way if I take her out and leave Gracey in. What should I do? I know they like to be around their own kind, but I also would like to drive Gracey. Kochia is not left alone when Gracey comes out, she is in with my miniature horse as well. In horses, I would surely consider this not acceptable and work on it. Separating for longer times to get them comfortable with being able to be taken from their buddies. But I am thinking donkeys are different first of all, and secondly, I probably need to have some compassion for what she has been through in the past year. She lost a buddy, now has one, and doesn't want to lose this one either. But, I want her to be ok with being separated for a little while here and there. Am I asking too much? Should I work on this, or just give her time?

Angie


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## MeadowRidge Farm (Aug 3, 2007)

She has been thru alot, I would give her time to adjust, plus work on it in the process. Can you take each other away ..if only for a little walk , and back, like for a few minutes, or can you take one and put her on the opposite side of the fence for a little bit? (so they are within sight and calling) Eventually work up to a longer period of time, and further away. She will accept the fact eventually that everything is Ok, and her pal will return to her. Corinne


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## VerticallyChallenged (Aug 3, 2007)

Thanks,

I feel bad for her...she has gone through a lot.... I was her 4th home in a year the day I bought her....

I wasn't sure if I should just let it be, or like you said, gradually work on it... neither of these girls are going anywhere.... of course I can't just tell her that! =)

Thanks for the input!

Angie


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## Lexie (Aug 3, 2007)

I had the exact same problem, but with my Thoroughbred. Remi didn't have the easiest life before I got him, race horse, failed polo pony, another owner, me. He was incredibly heard bound, in fact I remember one incident where I was lead him to me lesson (alone, all the other horses where in the barn) and he just lost it. I handed him to my Mom and ran to get his buddy. Thankfully my trainer was there and took him from my Mom and did Parelli with him. She told me it was a good thing we were working on Parelli because with his current mindset (not liking to be alone) he was almost dangerous. For the next year I never had him alone. Finally a few moths ago, back in April, I decided that there had to be a better way. I just started riding him alone and taking him on walks. At first we did small stuff like ride in the ring by our selves and progressed up to riding alone on the trails. I found most of Remi's want to be with his buddies came from his lack of confidence. Thus me taking on the leadership role and showing him that it really was ok to be alone he got better. I have now taken him to shows be himself and he behaved beautifully.

However, taking his buddies away from him is another challenge. He goes out with two other horses. At the moment if one leaves he is ok. If both leave I have to stand with him; he is not happy about it, but he is still ok. If no one is with him, even though there are two other horses in the paddock across from his, he becomes very upset. So, this problem I have not yet solved although I am hoping that as he continues to gain more confidence he will eventually be ok alone in his paddock. It may be that Remi never fully overcomes this "phobia", if you will, but I hope so.

Now, I think Remi's case is rather extreme. I don't know much about donkeys, but that is what worked for me. I agree with what MeadowRidge Farm wrote. Also, she once lived alone I think she will be easier to show her that she is ok alone.

Sorry this ended up being so long.


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## PaintedPromiseRanch (Aug 4, 2007)

VerticallyChallenged said:


> neither of these girls are going anywhere.... of course I can't just tell her that! =)




actually Angie you can... sometimes they don't listen* but, Bonnie Fogg can talk to them...

*to expand: my Maggie is a good example of that but she has MAJOR trust issues - she heard what Bonnie said but didn't believe it because "people are NOT to be trusted - none of them" is what she told Bonnie - well on Bonnie's advice i have just persevered with what we told her and whether she wants to trust us or not, she is going to see that we mean what we say... and actually we have made a lot more progress with her than i thought we would so i am quite happy. she will never be "normal" but with her history of abuse i can't blame her. i have cried tears of sadness, anger, frustration, all kinds of negative emotions over that little mule and what was done to her... with Bonnie's help, for the first time i have cried tears of joy over her progress




:

in your situation though it might help, if she is worried about losing her buddy, just to tell her that they are both there to stay although i would be careful wording it because just in case one were to become ill or something... you can't promise they will be together forever, or never be separated, because that's not realistic. just reassure her that you love her and you will do your best to make sure she is happy and has a friend...


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## VerticallyChallenged (Aug 4, 2007)

You are talking an "animal communicator" right?

Yeah...I'd love to know what Kochia is thinking....she looks sad more than happy. But that's why I brought her home...I could see it in pictures, and just knew she was sad and needed to have more love time. I brought her out this morning, we went for a brief walk in the yard, and I put her in the round pen for awhile (which is really just a place I use to let them graze on!) and she paced back and forth for awhile....then she went off to eat for a little bit, then back, pacing again. Poor girl.

The breeder who sold her never intended for any of this to happen to her.... I have sold a few horses myself, and we always do our best to make sure they are going to a good home....but sometimes you just can't know what the future will hold for them. The lady I bought her from (who was not the same person that bought her from the breder) only bought her a few months prior...out of impulse...then realized after bringing them home that she didn't need more animals....

Ok...all I can promise for sure is that neither of them will be shipped off to a new home. They will both stay here.... I would like to breed both of them someday....Kochia probably sooner than later because she's older.... but taking her to a jack would be traumatic too, I'm afraid, because here she is leaving her friend and going to yet another new place! Ugh...

Anyway....I'm sure, in time, she'll get more comfortable.

Angie


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## Emily's mom (Aug 4, 2007)

:no: Oh, poor little dear,



: she needs hugsssss,

I send her hugssss

We need a smilie hugging


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## JumpinJackFarm (Aug 5, 2007)

I am just thinking Kochia is *VERY* jealous



:

Maybe that is a little of the problem for the BIGGER one ???

Kochia may just need more Hugs & Assurance ~ Teri


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