# I really need some prayers and good thoughts



## Jill (Jul 31, 2009)

I am SO scared






In January, I had bloodwork that showed increased inflamation in my body. They kept monitoring it, had a chest xray and yesterday a CT scan which I went to the doctor's to hear about today.

At the doctors, she told me my CT scan showed a lession 1.9 cm x 2.6 cm in my upper lobe of my left lung. I will see a pulmonologist on the 11th unless my doctor who's helping me (infectious disease, though this isn't her dept) can find one who can get me in sooner. That doctor will look at the XRay and CT and schedule a biopsy, which I wish they could do tomorrow.

Jill

PS In all my life, I think I smoked 2x in Jr. High

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*UPDATE 08-07-09*

Just got home from the appt with the pulmonologist. They did lung function tests and she showed me my pictures even though I started crying and said I didn't want to see (way to go, Jill). My lung function was 65%! But she said that's not that bad.

She thinks I do have lung cancer, and she told me the kind, but I forget. But this is a very slow growing, very treatable, very good prognosis situation. I asked her that repeatedly and she kept saying very good prognosis. It's this certain kind that is apt to happen to women my age who haven't smoked. The CT scan shows it only in this one place (upper lobe) but there is consolidation or whatever of the lung around it. This is small compared to my lung, not maybe even 15% of that lung in terms of the consolidation, however, it is probably effectimg how much air I can take in. This maybe explains a lot of my "tiredness" the past couple of years really. So yay -- maybe I'm not just lazy.

There will be a bronchospy (sp?) biopsy Tuesday morning, then I will see her Friday afternoon for results, though she's indicated already what she thinks it is. If it's what she thinks, obviously, it must come out. If they can take it out "with a camera" (too dumb to grasp this concept), I'll be in hospital for 3 days. If regular surgery, about 5 days.

Usually no chemo (sp?) is even needed for this. It is like so slow growing, and unlike a lot of lung cancers, not likely to spread to other parts of the body.

Bright side is that maybe they can get it out, and I can have fuller lung function! Some test showed my body is getting oxogen all around good or pretty good. It's a blur.

This morning, I never would have thought she could tell me she thinks I have lung cancer, and I'd feel the weight of the world off my shoulder but that is how I feel. She thinks I'll be around for a long time. One of her first patients ever had this same things she thinks I have and she is totally fine 10 years later.


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## Connie P (Jul 31, 2009)

I sure understand your being frightened Jill. I will keep you in my prayers and hopefully they can get all these tests done quickly for you so you can have definitive answers soon. Keep your chin up and stay positive.


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## MeadowRidge Farm (Jul 31, 2009)

Jill, will definitely be keeping you in my thoughts for a good outcome and prayers. Hopefully your doctor will be able to get you in to see a specialist sooner, waiting almost 2 weeks will /can put alot of stress on you.

Corinne


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## Gini (Jul 31, 2009)

Jill, keeping you in my thoughts and prayers for a good outcome and tests sooner than 2 weeks. Please take care.


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## Mona (Jul 31, 2009)

Sending prayers Jill, and hoping all will check out OK.


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## h2t99 (Jul 31, 2009)

Sending prayers your way Jill!! Try and keep the positive thoughts going while you wait!!


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## Danielle_E. (Jul 31, 2009)

Jill, I am so sorry you are going through this. As others have said perhaps you will be able to see the specialist earlier. You certainly will be in my thoughts and prayers. You know we are all here for you to help you get through the next two weeks. Hugs to you


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## backwoodsnanny (Jul 31, 2009)

JIll

Prayers from Maine for you to take it easy until you truly know what you are dealing with and for a quicker appt with the specialist.


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## Minimor (Jul 31, 2009)

Sending prayers for you Jill!

Lung problems are scary, I know that for sure--been there done that! I had 2/3 of my right lung removed the spring of 1985. I've never taken so much as one puff of a cigarette.

Did your doctor indicate what kind of biopsy they will do? By bronchoscopy, or by needle? I think I read that they do some needle biopsies on lungs--mine was by bronchoscopy. I worried myself sick over having that done, and really there was nothing to it--it wasn't as bad as I imagined. No pain, really no discomfort--perhaps thanks to a dose of morphine beforehand. The worst part was the reaction to the morphine afterward. I was so SICK from it!


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## Vertical Limit (Jul 31, 2009)

Jill, I know you are terrified and I am so sorry you have to go thought this. I know no matter what anyone says it will not ease your fears until you have seen the Pulmonologist. I pray you can get in to see one sooner then the 11th. Sending you lots of hugs. I am always here if you need me.

Carol


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## Sterling (Jul 31, 2009)

Adding my prayers to the list Jill, for a clean slate, good health, peace and calm thru this waiting period.


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## Marty (Jul 31, 2009)

Jill I KNEW something was wrong when you haven't posted in a while! I can imagine your fears are so great right now and so so so so so sorry you are going to be put through this. If anyone can tackle this crap head on and blow it all to kingdom come its you! Come on gal, you know you are going to give this one great big kick in the butt and you have tons of backup here for you. You can call me anytime even if its just to scream or swear I'm here.


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## crponies (Jul 31, 2009)

I'm praying for you, Jill.


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## anoki (Jul 31, 2009)

I'll keep you in my thoughts as well Jill.

I can't imagine how scared I would be if I were in your shoes.....but do try to keep positive about everything....

((((hugs)))) and lots of kisses from the corgi crew

~kathryn


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## SampleMM (Jul 31, 2009)

Jill, please know you will definitely be in my thoughts and prayers. I sure hope that the specialist has a cancellation and you get in much sooner. I'm sure the hardest part of this is the waiting. Take care my friend.


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## miniwhinny (Jul 31, 2009)

's


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## Reble (Jul 31, 2009)

I also believe in


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## Pepipony (Jul 31, 2009)

Jill, dont worry untill there is something to worry about



I know, easier said than done. But I can tell you from past experience, that more often than not, when they 'see' or 'think they see' something, it turns out to be nothing. Keep your chin up and go hug your ponies


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## Aristocratic Minis (Jul 31, 2009)

Jill, I am so sorry you are worrying and waiting. You'll be in our prayers. Waiting is just about the hardest part. Hope you can get in to see the specialist sooner.

A friend of mine had a scare with a spot or two in her lungs. Turned out she had inhaled something that caused a fungus or something similar. A few rounds of antibiotics had her fit again. Those of us who are outside in dirt, manure, hay and dust can pick up all sorts of things. Try to be positive about the outcome.


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## Sonya (Jul 31, 2009)

Sending tons of prayers and good thoughts Jill..as someone else mentioned do your best not to worry until you see the specialist (I know thats near impossible but try)...doctors are often wrong on thier first impression/diagnose...my nephew was having problems swollowing and he had some tests done by his family doctor..said family doctor told my sister that Greg had a rare heart condition and would require surgery..turns out after seeing the specialist it was nothing more than acid reflux..my whole family was worried sick..My mother spent a week crying non-stop for her grandson...justone example of many stories I've heard of 1st diagnose...I will be praying that this as well is a mis-diagnose.

Hopefully they can get you in sooner...sending tons of hugs, good thoughts, and prayers your way...hang in there!


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## Maxi'sMinis (Jul 31, 2009)

I am so sorry Jill. I wish I could do something to help you cope. I would recommend asking for a few Xanax to help with anxiety, just to get you through this. It will help you rest. I will keep you in my prayers dear and will be sending positive thoughts to get those doctors on the ball so they get you in to be seen right away. Try to stay busy to keep your mind on other things. God bless.


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## Frankie (Jul 31, 2009)

Jill, I can't tell you HOW bad I want to post something political to bring out the fight in you!






You are a strong, intelligent, bull headed (in a good way), women. I know you will find a way to make the next 2 weeks less stressful. Your post is the first step,,,and boy is it ok to feel this way. You will find the best way for you, to deal with it all.

All good thoughts your way!!

If I can do anything, sincere, let me know.


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## AppyLover2 (Jul 31, 2009)

Jill I'm sorry to hear what's been going on. Please try not to dwell on the worst that can happen. As others have said once you see a specialist you may find this is nothing serious. Hugs and prayers to help through your wait.

I agree with Frankie.....a good political debate would give you something else to think about.


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## Charlene (Jul 31, 2009)

jill, you will be in my thoughts and prayers!


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## Barbie (Jul 31, 2009)

Prayers for a good report Jill. Hope you can get in and get some answers sooner rather than later. Stay positive and lean on all of us here on the forum.

Barbie


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## anita (Jul 31, 2009)

Jill, you are in my thoughts and prayers!

Wish you the best

Anita


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## bcody (Jul 31, 2009)

Jill, I am so sorry you are going through this. You have my prayers. I know it is hard, but try to stay positive, and lean on us here if you need us, that is why we are here.


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## drk (Jul 31, 2009)

Hi Jill, It's okay to be scared and just remember that you have the power to get through this...

Try not to allow anything like this to bring you down... You be STRONG and kick butt to do whatever you have to to get past this ! Your MIND is a powerful tool so stay POSITIVE and be DETERMINED.

I'm sending {{HUGS}} and will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. I hope that this is nothing serious and that you will breeze right through it ....

We are all here if you need us !!!!


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## minie812 (Jul 31, 2009)

Jill, You are in my prayers


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## luv2ridesaddleseat (Jul 31, 2009)

Hold on Jill! Take a deep BBRREEAATTHH. Nearly always this stuff is minor! Seriously, wait until you see the Doctor that knows more of what is going on. OK?????? You are STRONG! Don't panic! If need be, surgery can get this minor disturbance out of your body! You can do this! Keep us informed, but I know this will pass! Hang in there.





Joyce


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## Charley (Jul 31, 2009)

Jill, you are in my prayers.


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## Crabby-Chicken (Jul 31, 2009)

Hope it all turns out just fine! Wishing you the best.


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## dreaminmini (Aug 1, 2009)

Prayers and best wishes. Hope it ends up being nothing. Try not to worry. The waiting isn't fun but I'm betting everything will work out okay.


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## susanne (Aug 1, 2009)

Jill,

When I read the title of your post, I was ready to look up your number and call...then I realized, I'm West Coast, you're East Coast...you're a morning person and I'm a night owl...Are we each other's opposites or what?

All joking aside, I'll be thinking of you constantly, anxiously awaiting your results. Like Marty, I, too, worried when I didn't see any posts from you -- I did a search and saw that you had responded to several other threads, but I still had a funny feeling, so it's so good to read this.

Since I work at home (and stay up til the cows come home), feel free to call me at any time, 503 543 7347.

Take care,

susanne


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## PrestigeMiniHorses (Aug 1, 2009)

Oh jill you know if you ever need anything you can reach me at anytime. You are in my thoughts and prayers.....


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## GOTTACK (Aug 1, 2009)

Jill. you are in my thoughts and prayers.

Lisa


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## Jill (Aug 1, 2009)

Thank you all, my friends





I'm just so scared like literally shaking at times. I called my parents' after the doctor's yesterday (they were waiting to hear) and they started crying so then I started crying and more this morning. Just I cannot even find enough words to define the degree of scared that hits me in waves.

A friend of mine from here told me about a similar situation (almost identical) that she had and it wasn't lung cancer. That made me feel a lot better but it's hard not to let the panic carry me away and that d*mn "Dr. Google" of course feeds all the worries but it's so hard not to look...

The doctor I am seeing about this is actually an infectious disease doctor I was referred to by my Endo based on this inflammation that showed in bloodwork and telling him about the sick colts I got last year. I've been the one pressing doctors since January (primary and endo) for why was my CRP (inflammation) so high. This infectious disease doctor ordered the xray and then the CT scan I had on Thursday and here we are...

Yesterday, my sister's husband took their boys to the park and a doctor friend was there and he told him what's going on and what that doctor said as reassuring. Kirk had the doctor repeat it when Robin got there so she wouldn't think he sugar coated it and he said that the biopsy is the gold standard for diagnosing and by far most of the time, it is not cancer. The doctor they talked to is a primary care doctor. I'm gonna figure he sees more of "this" than my infectious disease doctor, but I don't know for sure.

On Monday, I will call the doctor helping me navigate this and see if there's someone in Charlottesville they can call. I'm not sure they understand exactly where I live and they're trying Fredericksburg and Northern VA but some the doctors are out, etc. Charlottesville is closer than Northern VA but the main thing, obviously, is that I want to see someone ASAP (today works for me -- I'm so worried!).

Right now, I've got such tunnel vision, I don't even want to think of / fool with the horses and you all know that is NOT me! That is a big part of why I've been "quieter". Plus, the past couple of weeks I've been busier than normal so busy + worried = sulky Jill during my "free time".

And, yes, the Xanax will help. I have a prescription I can fill every so often to take "as needed" (low dose). I refill it each time I can and have two bottle's worth I've not used plus a small amount I keep in my purse "just in case". I will see if I can take more if I need to or what. It can help me from letting my imagination go too far out but with this situation, it's already about as far out as I usually worry up o my own.

Thank you for your thoughts and prayers. It means a lot to me. Such a roller coaster









Jill


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## kaykay (Aug 1, 2009)

Sending prayers that this is just a minor bump in the road!

Kay


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## Minimor (Aug 1, 2009)

I was going to add this Jill--when I was in hospital for my surgery the anesthesiast (sp?) came around to talk to each patient before their surgery. He told me that because I had never smoked (and I'd think that only 2 smokes for you would put you in the never-smoked category too!) my tumor was almost certainly NOT cancer.

He then told my roommate--an older lady who had smoked for years, right up until the day she was diagnosed with a lung tumor--that because she was a smoker her tumor would most likely turn out to be cancer. I thought that if he had told me such a thing I would have been devastated, but this older later was very matter of fact about it.

As it turned out mine was a very low grade sort of cancer, a tumor that isn't usually found in the lung--non-metastasizing and not aggressive--as long as all of it was removed in surgery there was little chance it would grow back. It hasn't.

And my roommate--hers wasn't cancer either! It was some sort of tumor caused by tuberculosis.

So definitely do keep reminding yourself that this doesn't have to be as bad as you keep worrying that it is!

Are you feeling okay? Not excessively tired/dragged out feeling? Not losing weight? Not coughing?


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## Bassett (Aug 1, 2009)

I'm so sorry Jill. Please try to keep the worry and stress level as low as you can. I know it will be next to impossible but try to keep busy and try not to worry about it. It can greatly affect your diabetes. Stress and worry will do that to diabetics. I know that for a fact in my case. Think about you and praying for you to come through with a clean bill of health.



(((((((HUGS)))))))


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## wildoak (Aug 1, 2009)

Add my prayers to the list Jill. Hoping for a good outcome and some quick answers for you, I know the waiting is the worst.

Jan


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## ChrystalPaths (Aug 1, 2009)

Deep breath now....all will work out in the end Jill and do go hug the furkins, they are wonderful soothers. Light and hope....


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## CrescentMinis (Aug 1, 2009)

I'll be thinking of you Jill, and pray they work you in much sooner than 2 weeks. It's so frustrating and stressful to have to wait that long for more information, especially for people who are used to taking charge and getting things DONE...NOW!!


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## Margo_C-T (Aug 1, 2009)

Jill-

Just saw this thread...sending OODLES of positive thoughts and prayers...but in my gut, I feel things will be FINE for you. You are a upstanding, strong-minded gal; I just FEEL that everything will be alright!

Hang in, be proactive, keep us all posted....you KNOW we 'out here' are ALL pulling for you, my dear and fellow conserv.. (well, YOU know!




forum friend!!

{{{Hugs}}},

Margo


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## Russ (Aug 1, 2009)

Jill,

You have my prayers! I know this is scarey but you have lots and lots of people who care and are with you in spirit. Be good to yourself and we will keep praying/sending strong positive thoughts to you!

Russ


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## eagles ring farm (Aug 1, 2009)

Just saw your post Jill

Sending lots of prayers

I hope they can see you alot sooner

so you don't spend so much time worrying

about what may not be anything to worry about.

Give yourself a hug for me. And think positive

no matter what shows on the tests. Easy for me to say

Lori


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## ~Lisa~ (Aug 1, 2009)

you know I totally understand.. been there done that and still wearing the darn t-shirt



You are in my thoughts all will be fine!


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## Brandi* (Aug 1, 2009)

Hoping it's nothing too serious Jill. I know you must be scared. We are all here for you.


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## SaddleTrail (Aug 1, 2009)

Blessings and prayers for the path your life may be taking. I for one do not believe in cancers * my way of fighting back* and I do not believe you are going down that path ~S~ I will hold you strong in my heart and thoughts and when you get the results we can all laugh at your fears and put them aside for a wonderful and bright future!!!

JoeAnn


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## Equuisize (Aug 1, 2009)

Sending good thoughts and prayers your way Jill.

Keep a positive outlook if possible.

Not that other people stories will help you but we just

went thru two different situations in the past three months.

Michael's brother in law had had a bad flu and then a cough

that lasted for several months. He was short of breath and so

sick they took him from work to the ER. Took a chest Xray

and he was told he probably had lung cancer. Scheduled him

for a CT scan, went in for the appt. and the machine was down.

He had to go back another day. CT scan was taken and they

sent him to an onocologist. It wasn't cancer is was scarring

from a pneumonia he'd had.

This same man's son collapsed at work, he was taken to the ER.

They put him in the hospital and told him and his parents he had

a rare disease where the brain sags. He had heat exhaustion.

We have a saying around here "There is a reason they call them

'_practicing_ physcians'!

Sending you the best wishes for a excellent outcome!


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## minih (Aug 1, 2009)

Just back from Congress so I am just now reading this, I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers until you update us on what is going on.I hope they are able to get you in a lot sooner, it must be driving you insane. <<hugs>> hang in there.


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## River Wood (Aug 1, 2009)

So sorry to hear Jill

A few years ago, they did a chest xray for a different issue and found about 3 spots on my lung, 1 was rather large. Turned out to be calcified granulomas which was harmless and they told me could have very well be caused by the dust I am around out in the country or other environmental factors.

Try not to worry, I know that is NOT easy. I remember how worried I was about the spots on my lungs but it was harmless. Try and think good thoughts.


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## Jill (Aug 1, 2009)

Thanks, everyone! This is a really special place and the people here mean a lot to me and have for years.

Your comments help a lot and especially the personal stories where you or family members / friends had similar scares and all turned out to be okay. I keep rereading those.

I've been worried since January about an inflammatory indicator in my blood and kept pressing the doctors about why it was, which is what got me referred to the infectious disease doctor, though this doesn't look like her ballpark, she's the one that sent me for the Xrays and CT scan. I was afraid it would be something "really bad" and am pretty much scared as can be now that I've heard what the doctor said about the CT scan. I probably sound like a broken record.

Really, I just go from feeling like I'll be okay to feeling like I'll die and I really love my husband, family and dogs too much to want to leave them.

Trying to keep myself distracted but right now, I've got the attention span of a gnat when it comes to watching TV. My mind keeps wandering (nerves, not related to anything physical). We did set up an aquarium today that's on the dresser by my side of the bed and that was good to go out and pick fish and is relaxing for me to watch them (plus, with my current attention span, it's kinda just the ticket).

Thank you,

Jill


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## ShaunaL (Aug 1, 2009)

Jill, you are in my thoughts and prayers - praying hard that in far less than 2 weeks you will find out it is nothing serious!


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## barnbum (Aug 1, 2009)

Aww--that stinks to have to worry so. My uncle--*in his 80s--*just had surgery for a spot on his lungs that turned out to be cancer. They got it all and he needs no other treatment. His daughter, my cousin, says he's doing beautifully.

But, Jill, you won't have to deal with that. Just standard procedure, this biopsy... worrying about it doesn't make it better, so it's a waste of time. Deep breath--and carry on.

I remember after one ob/gyn visit, and routine test.. they ordered additional mammos and a uterine biopsy... yikes. It was nothing--they're just playing it safe. And why not--if the technology is available to find stuff--they want to use it!!


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## bfogg (Aug 1, 2009)

You've got my prayers Jill! And stay on those Drs. asses don't ask demand what ever you feel you need!!!! Take off the princess shoes and put on your work boots and demand they fix you right now!

Having been thru this recently, it seems to be the only way to get anything done today in a reasonable time.

We will all keep praying for you.

Hugs

Bonnie


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## Debby - LB (Aug 1, 2009)

I will put you on my prayer list Jill. I wish you did not have to wait so long, it is so hard to have to wait.


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## Shari (Aug 1, 2009)

One day at a time Jill. I know its hard to do when something like this happens but it honestly helps.

I have a number of health issues, couple of them cronic, so I know.... at least a little bit, how you feel.

Will keep you in my thoughts and send along a big cyber <HUG>!


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## Valerie (Aug 1, 2009)

Ahhh Jilly.......

Here's a big cyber hug for you........ please keep on the Doctors as far as trying to get them to have you see someone ....and you are correct, they may just not be thinking about where you live, so are picking from the wrong zipcode so to speak.

I know how you feel, I have been having some odd abdominal pains, etc.....and bad blood & urine results.......so have had to have test after test after test...trying to keep a low profile here, and still doing some tests, but on the upside, things are starting to turn around, based on the first tests they thought I had a kidney issue....turns out I probably did, didn't drink enough water daily.......and have had several ultra-sounds etc. Anyway, drinking a lot of water and trying to stay intune to my body and again keeping after the Doctors if I am having pains. It really does help, seriously they knew I was freaked out and got me in for a scan & gave me the results the same day and that was a day before I left on a trip.....talk about great service... so believe me, it does help to be the squeaky wheel.





I am hoping & praying all turns out just fine for you, knock on wood, my troubles seem to be stemming from ovarian cysts or something?......anyway, still having to do monthly blood/urine tests but hey, that is fine, I would rather them keep poking me to make sure I am going in the right direction so to speak.

Hugs sweetie, give those fur-baby dogs a hug for me....congrats on the new fishies....... I am sure that will help a little even.


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## MBennettp (Aug 1, 2009)

Jill,

Prayers from here that it is something minor that can be easily cured with the right medicine.

I hope for the best for you.

Mary


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## twister (Aug 1, 2009)

Jill I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers that you may see the Dr earlier than 2 weeks and that it turns out to be nothing more than a bump in the road of life.

Hugs to you

Yvonne


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## Maxi'sMinis (Aug 1, 2009)

That's a great idea with the fish tank. I had a 55 gal for years. I found watching the fish very relaxing. I loved making them a little habitat. I had fancy goldfish for years and then changed it over to small tropicals. Glad you are staying busy.

How are those beautiful baby horses doing. I bet they are getting big.

Will be thinking positive thoughts for you and keeping you in my prayers.


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## qtrrae (Aug 1, 2009)

Jill, you are in my thoughts and prayers!

You have always been there for all of us on the LB Forum and we will all be there for you!

Lots of HUGS and PRAYERS - I know you are very worried but I just know in my heart that everything will be fine.


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## REO (Aug 2, 2009)

{{{{Jill}}}} I don't have a story to share but I DO send prayers and best wishes. Hang in there girl!


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## SampleMM (Aug 2, 2009)

Jill, do you remember MorningMist from the forum? Well, she's my 14 year old daughter. Two years ago she had a nagging cough for well over two months and along with that she was very pale and lethargic. We had many tests ran including an x-ray of her lungs which showed a spot. Long story short, the spot turned out to be nothing and she is happy and healthy today. I am praying for the same outcome for you.


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## OhHorsePee (Aug 2, 2009)

Our thoughts and prayers are with you! (((((HUGS)))))


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## Jill (Aug 2, 2009)

Thanks again, everyone






I'm calling the doctor who's helping me with this in the morning to tell them to also look for a pulminologist in Charlottesville, and calling my primary doctor (who was on vacation / doesn't know yet) mainly to ask him if I can take more xanax if need be and maybe to see him / ask his advice (but that may get me more worked up than just waiting and seeing the pulmonologist?). It makes me feel nervous just about calling about the Charlottesville idea in the morning -- not that I'm afraid to tell them to look there but just nervous / scared about "everything".

Today we went to early lunch and got some more fish stuff and some more neon tetras and took a nap, which is a long time pastime of mine. H is out feeding the horses (so hot out) and I'm inside just feeling anxious.

Urgh


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## Genie (Aug 2, 2009)

So sorry to hear about your trouble. I rarely visit the "Back Porch" so just read your post today.

Hopefully it turns out to be something harmless. Sending good thoughts your way.


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## Relic (Aug 2, 2009)

Hope time goes fast for you till you know whats what...and a positive outcome.


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## Bozley (Aug 2, 2009)

Sorry to hear what you are going through. My thoughts & prayers are with you.

Sue


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## Jill (Aug 3, 2009)

This morning is hard. I am such a sissy. H left for work around 4am and I'm not leaving until 7:30 or so and just here "alone" (with a bunch of dogs), I am a wreck. I've already called H a couple times on his cell phone to tell him I'm scared (like I've not told him that a billion times). I don't know how people who have to go through this kind of thing and keep a brave front (for kids, etc.) can do it.


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## barnbum (Aug 3, 2009)

Kids are very distracting and force the brave front because their needs always come first....

Go see your sister and her clan... that will help.

Being alone is not good--too much time to dwell. My toughest times when worrying/grieving are when I'm driving to work--all alone in my car with my thoughts... never good.

You're going to be okay, Jill. Even IF it was something--they'll get it out and all will be well. That's a mighty IF. You're in good hands.


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## candycar (Aug 3, 2009)

Sending good and happy thoughts your way....Keep smiling and stay positive. You are not alone! We are here always!


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## Jill (Aug 3, 2009)

Thanks everyone.

I just was able to get an appt for this Friday late morning with a pulmonologist in Manassas. She'll look at my pictures and report and schedule the biopsy (asap I hope). She's apparently seen the pics but I'm supposed to bring them w/ me, too. I am a wuss and don't want to go get them from the hospital until we are on the way to see this doctor. If I have them in my hands much prior, I may look and I do not really want to look or read. It will only scare me more... So I'm hoping I can get them on my way to Manassas. H will be taking me.

And I'm hoping my primary doctor calls today with some advice or at least some enhanced / upgraded guidelines as to taking MORE xanax. I was crying when I first started talking to my dad this morning just as our clients arrived. They couldn't see me in the office and I pulled it together (and made some good money for us and for them). But, man oh man oh MAN this is really scary.


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## Miniequine (Aug 3, 2009)

Hi Jill,

I am so sorry you are having to go through all this fear.

I understand it all too well. First of all,, You are going to be JUST FINE.





a few years ago, I went in for

my regular checkup. I was told I had a "mass" and I would need

to see a specialist... (this was not my regular doc) course it was a Friday..

On Monday, I saw a doctor who told me I most likely had

advanced ovarian cancer ... A few days later I saw a WONDERFUL surgeon

who scheduled me for surgery asap.. but still had to wait 3 weeks.

I understand the waves of fear. It made everything seem not so important

anymore... Anyway.. turned out to be a cyst. and was fine.



)

and again .. 7 hours down the road going to the World Show last fall... I get a phone call...

My mamogram showed "something" and they needed me to come in again. darn!

Course,, here comes that horrible fear... the ENTIRE show... 10 days later...

It was nothing again!

Chances ARE in your favor,, and I bet you are just FINE too!!!!!!!!! REALLY!

I just hope you can find out SOONER that you are fine, rather than having to wait

to learn you are fine. !!

~Sandy


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## FlatCreekFarm (Aug 3, 2009)

I'm sorry you are going through this scary time. I understand the 'alone' feeling - I went through a similar scare several years ago, and months of doctor's appts & testing. I would wake up in the middle of the night and just ask my husband to hold me... I would cry my heart out. Everything turned out fine, but if there's any _one thing_ in life that makes you appreciate your life and health and family and pets (and the blessings list goes on)... a health scare would be it! I'm keeping you in my prayers. Glad to hear you could get into see the specialist sooner also. Thinking good thoughts for you!!


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## SilverDollar (Aug 3, 2009)

Sending good thoughts your way and keeping you in my prayers. Statistics are in your favor that all will be just fine, but I know that doesn't help with the waiting and the anxiety.



I wish I had some magic way for you to not worry. Keep the faith.


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## Sonya (Aug 3, 2009)

Jill I am praying for you hard...hang in there girl. We only know each other through the internet but I almost feel like you are a close relative. You are a very strong person, I know that for sure, I look up to you in so many ways.

Whatever this is, I am confident YOU WILL overcome it. I hope they can give you answers quick, waiting is terrible I know. Super big hugs from your fellow conservative! 

ok...now what about that Cap and Trade Bill? 



I'm hopin' that got you thinking about something else..at least for a couple seconds.

(Just kiddin ML)

Huge positive thoughts coming your way Jill!


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## Jill (Aug 4, 2009)

Thanks, folks. You all are the best and this isn't the first time LB has helped me though something that was making me an emotional wreck!!!

It turns out that Dr. Ly (infectious disease doctor I got referred to and stumbled on finding this issue) was on call this weekend and so was a pulmonologist she said is really good. Dr. Ly got Dr. Foley (woman) to look at my pics and asked her personally to please get me in sooner than the other group of doctors could, because I was so worried. I didn't know until Dr. Ly called me at the office to see how I was doing that she was the one who personally got that done for me and it touched me. She hugged me when I was leaving her office on Friday. I liked her a lot from the start... I think anyone would really like her and she thinks I'll really like Dr. Foley.

Then last night, Dr. Lin who is my primary called. He had been on vacation. He is bascially very surprised (said it like a dozen times) about what we're seeing. He told me how unusual this is. He said it could definitely be sarcoidosis, which I have been "hoping" for it it's "something". It's not a good thing to have but not the worst, either. It is an autoimine thing and I have suspected symptoms actually before the xray and ct scan. He didn't want to get into what we'll do if it's cancer until we find out the stage and if it's spread. I told him I am really scared it spread from somewhere else to my lungs and he said no, it didn't look like that kind. I asked again to be sure I understood he really meant no to that worry and he did. I don't know how he could know but he's the doctor and being a primary doctor, he probably sees more of this type issue I'm sure than Dr. Ly (who I think has worried that's what it is). He also said I can take the same dose of xanax (2 x .25 pills) every 6hrs vs. every 8hrs if I need to. So that's good. I only took it 2x yesterday and I think that's all ever but yesterday, I could feel it wear off around 6hrs.

For whatever reason, I am having a much better time emotionally than I have since finding out something is up. I haven't eaten really more than like a cup of yogurt or a half a chicken breast a day since finding out but woke up with real low sugar this morning and had Koolaid and a Nature Valley Almond bar... yummy stuff. Food is usually a great source of happiness to me (maybe that's why I like horses so much, it is to them as well).

Thanks again everyone. It is a very special group of people that mingle here.

Jill


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## sfmini (Aug 4, 2009)

Jill, I am so sorry you are going through something so scary! Hang in there, take one day at a time, and I hope like anything that whatever it is will be eliminated fast.

Be sure and give yourself lots of puppy and mini therapy as well.


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## targetsmom (Aug 4, 2009)

I was away for the weekend and only just saw this thread. Jill, I am so sorry to hear you are going through this. I know the waiting feeling and it is the pits!! I am glad you got your appointment moved up. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Go out and hug your minis! When I went through something similar a few years ago my minis were a HUGE source of comfort.


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## Hosscrazy (Aug 4, 2009)

Jill, sweetie, you know we are here for you... you have a lot of friends and a lot of support. You're gonna be just fine --- you are such a strong person and I just know you'll be okay... take a deep breath, and hug all those fur friends of yours...

Liz R.


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## joyenes (Aug 4, 2009)

Jill, I just came across this post and I just wanted to say all my prayers are heading your way. You are a strong women and I know everything is going to turn out well for you. Best wishes and hugs. Joyce


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## Maxi'sMinis (Aug 4, 2009)

Keeping you in my prayers and sending calming thoughts.

http://www.gratefulness.org/candles/candle...eng&gi=Jill

I have started a candle group for you Jill to help keep those prayers and positive thoughts coming your way.

Please lite a candle for Jill.


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## Jill (Aug 5, 2009)

Thanks a lot, everyone, again






It helps a lot to know that my friends and family both are pulling for me to be okay.

This morning's pretty good. Maybe not as good as yesterday morning but part of yesterday morning's "good" was the surprise that I woke up not feeling so much like wallowing in the fear. I am not into wallowing this morning, either. I took my Xanax as soon as I could, so I can take it again later in time for a nap (naps help). So hopefully between that and just generally working through some emotions, it will be okay today, too.

Tomorrow, my parents are having my sister's boys over for a "pool party" (kiddie pool) with special decorated cupcakes (my mom could be on a tv show for the fancy cakes and cookies she decorates), pizza, etc. I am thinking of going over there, but on the other hand, I don't want to be outside "too much" in the heat and H doesn't want me to either. I've not been told to avoid it but the air quality in this humidity is really bad. If there's something serious with my lung, maybe a/c is best? But I'll think on it and discuss it with H. Of course, if I go, my own boys and girls (dogs) will think we shoulda just had a pool or tv party HERE vs. me going out to one





I would imagine as Friday gets closer, I'll get more worked up about seeing the pulmonologist. I have to pick up my pictures and report from the hospital on the way but it will be on CD (my request -- I do NOT want to see any of this vs. a doctor telling me. I don't know enough about it and will only be in tears regardless of what an informed eye would see.).

Jill


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## drivin*me*buggy (Aug 5, 2009)

Thinking of you Jill. Hoping that all of this gets put behind you soon.

Angie


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## Vertical Limit (Aug 5, 2009)

Hey Jill! I have been on the road for the last few days and thinking of you! I also feel this will turn out positive and so glad you will be getting some kind of answers on Friday. It is the waiting that really could make even a well person sick. I think once a strong person like you knows what is going on they then just learn how to deal with it. I hope you know what I mean. It's the unknown that is so totally stressful.

Stay positive! Again....this IS going to be OK!

Carol


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## StarRidgeAcres (Aug 5, 2009)

Jill,

Just saw this post. Sorry, I just don't come here that often anymore, but wish I had seen this sooner.

Jill, as others have said, you are so strong and have such a beautiful spirit, I just feel deep down that this is going to be OK. That YOU are going to be OK. My prayers and thoughts are with you.

Hugs to you!

Parmela


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## WhiteTailsMinis (Aug 5, 2009)

Jill - everyone here is thinking of you and hoping for speedy results to ease your mind. I'm sure things will turn out fine but it's understandable to be consumed with worry. Don't these doctors realize what the wait does to people?

With all the prayers from this forum behind you - and the wonderful family support you have - things can only get better!

Keep us posted and we'll all celebrate with you when you get the good news!



I'm confident it will all turn out fine.


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## nootka (Aug 5, 2009)

You know my thoughts are with you....I can't imagine what you're going through.

Liz


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## Buckskin gal (Aug 5, 2009)

Jill, Good thoughts and prayers coming from here also.



I was diagnosed with cancer eight months ago and if there is anything I have learned from the experience is that I can't control having cancer but I can sure control how I deal with it. Even though it is third stage cancer I have lived as if I am going to be cured. Each day is a treasure and so I feel that each day I must use it for doing something good and enjoying the day as much as I can. Keeps me from having time to dwell on the desease. So many people with a life threatening desease ask "why me??" As I look around I have asked myself "why not me" for I am not any better than others who have to deal with the same. We are strong and we do have choices to make and therefore I have chosen to get the most out of each day. I hope you too make the decision to really " live" and enjoy what you have for we are all lucky to have those things. For me, each flower and each bird are enjoyed for their beauty and I see them so much better than before I had cancer. I think you have a very good chance of not having cancer but regardless of what it is, I am sure you will face it like a trooper. I have had 8 months of cancer treatment and looking forward to the day when I can say "I am cured!!!!" We do have to thank God for making it possible for us to live at a time when so much has been done towards the treatment of cancers. Give those wonderful animals of yours some extra attention for they really are a good treatment for the worries we may have.



Mary


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## Jill (Aug 5, 2009)

Thank you everyone so much for the good thoughts and prayers. It helps a lot. I'm trying to stay distracted as possible but am in much better spirits than I was the first few days when I kept crying, wallowing, etc. Haven't done that the past couple of days but I am sure that I will be a nervous wreck on Friday morning! I just hope that I can keep it fairly together over the weekend and that the biospy will be soon so we can find out what we need to deal with and start dealing with it strongly.


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## IloveMiniatureshorses (Aug 5, 2009)

Millions of


















to you!!!!


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## shane (Aug 6, 2009)

oh Jill {{{{HUGS}}}}}} to you , my friend, im so sorry you have this to worry about,

my thoughts and prayers are with you

stay strong xx


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## Matt73 (Aug 6, 2009)

Just saw this, Jill! I'm so sorry you have to go through this. I'll think positive thoughts for you. You do the same for you, too!


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## Jill (Aug 6, 2009)

Thanks, again, folks. Your wishes and prayers help a lot.

Today, I'm doing okay emotionally (haven't felt bad physically ever from whatever's going on).

H may be coming home early, too, which would be very very VERY good for my spirits...

Whenever he does come home, he's bringing home four fancy goldfish for this tank I set up and have been letting it wait / stabilize. Of all things to fixate on, but the fish are doing the trick for me. I'd shown him in the petstore prior what kind I wanted and sent pics to his cell phone this morning. I tell you -- there are real benefits to being able to easily distract yourself!!!

I'm scared about the pulmonologist appointment tomorrow. I think she'll examine me and schedule the biopsy. I just hope she doesn't have words that will inflate my fears beyond where they already are, and I hope the biospy can be done VERY soon.

ALSO, I wish I weren't such a scatter brain. I can't remember if I took my xanax... I suspect I did not, even though I stopped what I'd been doing specifically to go take it but I got side tracked. SO, waiting a bit until it would be okay to take a "2nd" (probable 1st) dose.


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## Firefall (Aug 6, 2009)

Sending you warm fuzzy thoughts and well wishes.

Enjoy the fish!


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## Sterling (Aug 6, 2009)

Keep thinking those good thoughts Jill..and filling your aquarium! Know that I will be thinking about you tomorrow and you are in my prayers.


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## Linda K (Aug 6, 2009)

Hi Jill,

I am just seeing this, as Mickie and I have been gone on a motorcycle trip. We went through New York, New Hampshire, Vermont, Maine and then went into Canada and Nova S. We have been gone about 17 days. This sure isnt somthing I like seeing when I get home...............






But I lit a candle for you and wanted you to know that Erica and I are thinking of you and wishing nothing but the best. I am so glad you have "H", and of course the forum so you can talk about how your feeling. I think talking helps. I just know everything is going to be just fine with you. If you need to talk , cry, whatever..... know you can call anytime. 870-668-3369.

Stay positive and keep us informed. We will be praying for nothing but good results





Linda Killion


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## Jill (Aug 7, 2009)

My pulmonologist appointment today. She'll look at my pictures (which she also reviewed with my referring doctor last weekend when they were on call), examine me and schedule the biopsy, I assume. Hoping she'll tell me something that will help me worry less, but not really expecting that to happen (hoping hoping). Harvey, of course, is taking me. I'm not as jello jointed worried as I thought I'd be but that will probably kick in before long.

So, please pray and hope for reassuring information for me this morning. And this makes post #100 to this thread. I'm obsessive about "coordination" of things and figure 100 is a nice, round, lucky number for this post to hit upon?


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## luv2ridesaddleseat (Aug 7, 2009)

I am absolutely thinking of you and praying for you this morning. I do think you will feel better after the appointment. Can't wait until you post back when you get home.












Joyce


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## bonloubri (Aug 7, 2009)

Thinking of you and hoping for the best results on your exam and tests.


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## bcody (Aug 7, 2009)

Jill, will be thinking good thoughts for you today. Looking forward to a good update this afternoon.


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## Equuisize (Aug 7, 2009)

Thinking of you Jill.

'Knowing' is the best thing you will get from your appointment

today.

It is the unknown that is so frightening. Once you know you

can do whatever needs to be done.

Hang in there, there are lots of people thinking of you.


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## nootka (Aug 7, 2009)

Good luck....

Liz


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## AppyLover2 (Aug 7, 2009)

You've been on my mind all morning. Sending good vibes your way.


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## Jill (Aug 7, 2009)

Just got home from the appt with the pulmonologist. They did lung function tests and she showed me my pictures even though I started crying and said I didn't want to see (way to go, Jill). My lung function was 65%! But she said that's not that bad.

She thinks I do have lung cancer, and she told me the kind, but I forget. But this is a very slow growing, very treatable, very good prognosis situation. I asked her that repeatedly and she kept saying very good prognosis. It's this certain kind that is apt to happen to women my age who haven't smoked. The CT scan shows it only in this one place (upper lobe) but there is consolidation or whatever of the lung around it. This is small compared to my lung, not maybe even 15% of that lung in terms of the consolidation, however, it is probably effectimg how much air I can take in. This maybe explains a lot of my "tiredness" the past couple of years really. So yay -- maybe I'm not just lazy.

There will be a bronchospy (sp?) biopsy Tuesday morning, then I will see her Friday afternoon for results, though she's indicated already what she thinks it is. If it's what she thinks, obviously, it must come out. If they can take it out "with a camera" (too dumb to grasp this concept), I'll be in hospital for 3 days. If regular surgery, about 5 days.

Usually no chemo (sp?) is even needed for this. It is like so slow growing, and unlike a lot of lung cancers, not likely to spread to other parts of the body.

Bright side is that maybe they can get it out, and I can have fuller lung function! Some test showed my body is getting oxogen all around good or pretty good. It's a blur.

This morning, I never would have thought she could tell me she thinks I have lung cancer, and I'd feel the weight of the world off my shoulder but that is how I feel. She thinks I'll be around for a long time. One of her first patients ever had this same things she thinks I have and she is totally fine 10 years later.


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## hobbyhorse23 (Aug 7, 2009)

Thank God!! I'm getting all teary-eyed here Jill. You poor thing. God, I can only imagine the emotions you've been going through.



Jill said:


> There will be a bronchospy (sp?) biopsy Tuesday morning, then I will see her Friday afternoon for results, though she's indicated already what she thinks it is. If it's what she thinks, obviously, it must come out. *If they can take it out "with a camera" (too dumb to grasp this concept)*, I'll be in hospital for 3 days. If regular surgery, about 5 days.


She probably means with a laproscopic surgery. They'll make several small incisions in your body instead of one very large one and work through a tiny little camera and some little robotic tools to remove the growth. Recovery is much faster because they only had to make tiny incisions and didn't have to open your ribcage or anything scary like that so they can see the tumor themselves. Laproscopic surgery is goooooood.

Leia


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## luv2ridesaddleseat (Aug 7, 2009)

yippee girl. Excuse me but my exclamtion point isn't working, I need a new keyboard.












I knew we'd hear good news....


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## Vertical Limit (Aug 7, 2009)

You know how I feel. The unknown was much worse than knowing. Thank God it is what it is! Now you can get on with the business of taking care of business and getting on with your life! Have a nice dinner with H and relax. Again......you will be OK!


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## Sterling (Aug 7, 2009)

Jill I've been thinking about you. I'm so glad that you had this checked and got the news you did today. Feel better and relax. Like Vertical Limit said...now you can get this taken care of and go on with breeding and enjoying all those wonderful little horses!!!!


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## CrescentMinis (Aug 7, 2009)

Wow, the roller coaster ride you have been on is really something, Jill!





You have been in my thoughts and prayers every day. I am SO glad the doc was able to give you this information today and let you come away feeling that you will be FINE when it's all said and done!!!


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## Russ (Aug 7, 2009)

Hi Jill

I am glad you got some answers today. Now you can move on and get that out of your body!





My dad had this in 1997 and will be 65 in 2010 and doing great. It's sounding alot like the same type of cancer your dealing with now. They operated on dad and successfully removed the cancer from his right lung....it was a small amount removed. He also wasn't a smoker. He took no chemo as the doctors at Mayo Clinic in Rochester, MN...did not remomend it for this type of cancer. He had a very good prognosis because it was detected early like yours.

He is healthy today and his lung function has not bothered him. He breathes completely normally and if anything his lungs are stronger since the operation.





He is a diabetic like you and lives a completely normal life since his lung surgery.



Early detection saved his life!

I am VERY Optomistic for you Jill. I know things are gonna be ok for you! Medicine has gotten so good Jill....way better than when dad had to have surgery. It just amazes me and it gives me such peace of mind to know it's there to help you and others.

Prayers continued for you and your family!



Jill said:


> Just got home from the appt with the pulmonologist. They did lung function tests and she showed me my pictures even though I started crying and said I didn't want to see (way to go, Jill). My lung function was 65%! But she said that's not that bad.
> She thinks I do have lung cancer, and she told me the kind, but I forget. But this is a very slow growing, very treatable, very good prognosis situation. I asked her that repeatedly and she kept saying very good prognosis. It's this certain kind that is apt to happen to women my age who haven't smoked. The CT scan shows it only in this one place (upper lobe) but there is consolidation or whatever of the lung around it. This is small compared to my lung, not maybe even 15% of that lung in terms of the consolidation, however, it is probably effectimg how much air I can take in. This maybe explains a lot of my "tiredness" the past couple of years really. So yay -- maybe I'm not just lazy.
> 
> There will be a bronchospy (sp?) biopsy Tuesday morning, then I will see her Friday afternoon for results, though she's indicated already what she thinks it is. If it's what she thinks, obviously, it must come out. If they can take it out "with a camera" (too dumb to grasp this concept), I'll be in hospital for 3 days. If regular surgery, about 5 days.
> ...


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## Mona (Aug 7, 2009)

That is GREAT news Jill!!! I am so happy for you that the prognosis is so good!! I know it must be HORRIBLE to hear they think you have cancer, but if there is any kind to get, it sounds like you got one of the "better" ones!! (not that ANY Caner is better, but I mean slow growing and with a good outcome!)Thanks for the update...have been thinking of you, and am sending continued prayers for you.


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## susanne (Aug 7, 2009)

Jill,

I'm so glad that you now know what you're dealing with, and that it is something easily dealt with!

Here's to getting that thing out, regaining full lung function, and moving ahead -- onward and upward!

How are you blood sugar levels with all of the stress you've been through? I know I don't need to say this, but keep a close eye on all of that. Remember that your oncologists and surgeons, though experts in their specialties, may know less about diabetes than you do.


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## Matt73 (Aug 7, 2009)

Great to hear that this is probably very treatable. My sis' wife's mom had lung cancer twice (the smoker's kind) and is still around and is healthy 10 years later. It's amazing how treatable cancers are nowadays if caught early enough. You're going to be just fine...


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## horsehug (Aug 7, 2009)

Wonderful news, Jill!!

I'm a real worrier too, so I am relieved for you!!

Susan O.


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## Linda K (Aug 7, 2009)

I am so happy to come home and hear the good news Jill



I sure have been thinking of you and "H". I know you have still got to be a little scared, but the doctor sounds very positive, and thats GREAT NEWS .

Thinking of you,

Linda K


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## Hosscrazy (Aug 7, 2009)

Awesome news, Jill, awesome -- I am soooo happy and relieved for you!!!








Liz R.


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## Crabby-Chicken (Aug 7, 2009)

Yay! good news! Congrats.


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## bcody (Aug 7, 2009)

Jill, You sound so much better! It is nice to have answers, even if they are not always what we want. This sounds so good though! I worked 6 years in the OR, the camera is neat, and recovery so much faster, so I hope they can do it that way. Either way, it is noce to know it will soon be over and after you heal you will feel so much better.


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## Reijel's Mom (Aug 7, 2009)

So happy to see this update!! Never thought I'd say that to someone who just got a cancer diagnosis, but in this case. . . much better than most of the alternatives!


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## JennyB (Aug 7, 2009)

[SIZE=14pt]Hang in there JILL...




....you can beat this and we'll be sending prayers your way.[/SIZE]






HUGS and BLESSINGS

Jenny and Mel


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## bjcs (Aug 7, 2009)

Prayers are being answered for you Jill. Good news today and more good news to come.

Happy for you!

Barbara


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## minie812 (Aug 7, 2009)

I am so happy that the prognosis is well for you so just hang in there and sending you all my prayers


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## chandab (Aug 7, 2009)

yeah!



:SoCool






:BananaHappy


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## Jill (Aug 8, 2009)

Thank you, everyone!!!





I know "relieved" and "lung cancer" rarely fit in the same sentence, but they do in this situation!!!





I've been worried really all year about this inflammatory indicator in my blood and just pressing my doctors for "why", so since the infectious disease doctor I was referred to (really because no one else could figure what it might be), told me last Friday about the lesion, the worry / panic / despair has been crushing





Dr. Google kept giving me this statistic about lung cancer and it goes like +/- 6mos prognosis and less than 1% alive in 5 years -- so that is what I thought my news would be. I sincerely had not a shred of hope the Pulmonologist would give me any news yesterday that would relieve me and figured it was likely the news she'd give me would just confirm what I've been so scared about





Phew!!! I cannot say that loud enough -- PHEW!!! Oh, hey............ maybe I'll say it louder when "it" is out and I have better lung capacity





And, I can enjoy the horses again (and probably more so eventually if I have more lung capacity). Since this worry, I couldn't think of them and not think about how would H disperse, as he should w/o me. He loves the horses but w/o me, he'd not be breeding or wanting to show. He'd just want some of them as pets. And while he loves and cares for them, to put some of it in perspective, our three Buckeroo perlino girls, Double, Bomb Shell and Sweetie, he calls "those white ones." I was wondering if and how Erica could counsel him on selling if he maybe didn't even know which was which horse in some cases



Been worried about him having to deal with that and about the future homes of the horses if I didn't live and that made it really not possible for me to deal with the horses the past couple of weeks (and also with the lung thing, now H is having none of me helping for now -- but hugging and granting of cookies is permissible and something I now want to do!)





Probably I'll be some nervous before the bronchoscopy on Tuesday morning, but I asked Dr. Foley already about a sedative as soon as they hook up the IV. I told her (edge of my seat) how when I had miscarriages and had to have D & C's, they'd give me something before the stuff you get for the procedure to take my edge off and she said "oh yeah, I think we'll be giving _you_ that too." I must have come across as just a touch intense





I won't be looking forward to the surgery and will hope it can be done laparoscopically. I think maybe what she sees during the bronchoscopy will give a clue or the answer as to the type of surgery this would be. It's all kind of a blur from being stunned to hear what my lung function actually is to learning the doctor thinks I'm gonna be around a long time... So I will probably find out some little more on Tuesday and a lot more when I meet with her Friday afternoon





Thanks again, everyone, for the amazing support and prayers. LB has been there for me before and sure was this time, too. It means so much





Jill


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## Sonya (Aug 8, 2009)

Jill I was hoping it was just a bad film, but this news is better than some of the alternative things. As I said on FB this sounds exactly like the cancer my Mom had a few years ago and she came through with flying colors. I too have had Laproscopic cardio-thoracic surgery (4 times) with pieces of my upper lobes of my lungs stapled off and removed. It is a rough surgery but I know you will be fine..you are tough. ((Big hugs)).

Be sure and keep us updated...I will still be praying.


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## Charlene (Aug 8, 2009)

jill, this is just fantastic news!!! SO very happy to hear this is treatable and even curable. i can't even imagine the relief you must have felt. lots of good thoughts and healing prayers going out to you.


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## minih (Aug 8, 2009)

Glad to hear your prognosis is great! Now to hurry up and get this thing out so you can go on with your life!<<hugs>> I am so happy for you that it isn't like you worried about.


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## LindaL (Aug 8, 2009)

I am so happy that while it's never "good" news to have cancer....it IS very good news that you have a very treatable/curable type!!! Yay!!! My boss's dad had that type, had surgery and is fine now!





Will continue to have good thoughts for your biopsy and the surgery as well! You'll do great!


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## MeadowRidge Farm (Aug 8, 2009)

Jill, I was so happy to hear your good news. I know hearing the "C" word is horrible, and the stress you have been through...but hearing that is it slow growing and VERY treatable is fantastic. I knew you would handle this one head on, and be the strong woman we all know you are, ...and I wont even mention the relief you must be feeling. Keeping you in my prayers.

Corinne


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## Magic (Aug 9, 2009)

I'm so pleased to hear that what you are dealing with is pretty much straight-forward and fairly simple to fix. What a relief! Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers too. {{{hugs}}}


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## Jill (Aug 9, 2009)

Thanks ladies!!! I just feel so releived. I know that might sound crazy given what this is called, but if you're going to have "it", this kind the pulmonologist thinks I have is the kind to get.

Today feels like the best day I've had in ages and I did "nothing" really at all. Talked on the phone, looked at the internet, hung out with H, watched the fish, took a nap... H went to a cookout at his parents while I was asleep and he'll be home soon (with some fish stuff to boot).

It just feels like the weight of the world has lifted.

Tomorrow, I have a telephone appointment with a nurse from the hospital I guess to go over stuff for the bronchospy on Tuesday morning. I maybe a little nervous about that but not too much. The doctor gave me a brochure on it but I haven't and may not read it. I know I did that before my first D & C (for a miscarriage) and then was up all night crying because I was so scared based on the diagrams I saw!

Just looking at it as one step closer to getting this behind me and maybe feeling better than I realized I could



And, you know... When I did have to have the D & C's, the nurse always gave me "something" in my IV as soon as they hooked it up to knock my anxiety back about 100 notches and I told the doctor who said I'd get that (like based on how "intense" I already came across was the impression I got). So, I know that the faster they check me in and hook me up, the faster I'll not have a care in the world


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## maplegum (Aug 9, 2009)

Wow, that's 14 pages of all kinds of emotions and fears that I have just read! I'm sorry I didn't read your thread earlier so I could have sent my best wishes your way sooner.

You are a fighter Jill. You'll be feeling on top of the world in no time, I'm sure of it.

xox Leonie xox


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## Maxi'sMinis (Aug 10, 2009)

You are one lucky woman and a smart cookie for pressing your docs to find out what was up with your fatigue and breathing symptoms. So many people and doctors chock it up to old age. I am not glad to hear of what you have to endure in the coming months but am glad that you have a fighting chance. You will need a lot of strength and loving support and I am sure that H will be there for you 150%. He is such a good man and you are so lucky to have a guy like that. My prayers will be with you all the way. Stay strong and love up on your minis, frogs, dogs and fish!!


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## sedeh (Aug 10, 2009)

I'll be thinking of you tomorrow and saying a prayer! I'm glad to hear they think it's an "easy" one to cure....but you're right, anytime the "C" word is mentioned it scares the bejesus out of you!


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## HGFarm (Aug 12, 2009)

Oh Jill,

Just caught up on your posts here and don't blame you for being scared &H$*less at all. However, you are a very strong person and you will do just fine!!! Have any kind of 'it', is not a good thing, however, you DO need to find out what kind- and what cell type, and narrow your searches down to just that. A lot of the other crap does NOT have a good prognosis and will make you even more upset by reading it.

After what we have gone through since January, I have a couple of suggestions:

Obtain any and all copies of your medical records. Read as much as you can on what you have and what is being done. You never know when you may need to refer to these records and in a few years, they will be gone and if questions arise some day, you will need these. Also, the more you educate yourself, the better you can cope with and understand what they are doing and why.

Contact the 'C' society or other places that can also help you with diet suggestions. Linda (Fred) was able to help me with that before she left us, and gave words of encouragement, and I have seen a real miracle happen this year on our end with remission of tumors that COVERED his spleen and liver! And it was a VERY aggressive type! We followed the suggestions from Fred and I got a couple of books too, at her suggestion- fantastic. None of the nutritional things were told to us by any of the doctors except that sugar feeds cancer... the rest we found out from Linda and other sources!!

I am wishing you the BEST and know that you will come through this ok!! Please hang in there and don't freak yourself out too badly (I know, easier said than done!)

Attitude is a lot of it, so stay positive, no matter what! You WILL come through this ok, and as someone else mentioned, it's just a bump in the road. Stress can make you sicker and upsets your system, so just try to relax, stay as busy as you can to keep your mind on other things and keep us posted on what is going on.

We are all with you in this.......... hang in there!


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