I spoke with Marty this afternoon

[Danielle_E.]

and I feel so helpless. Marty is having a very difficult time of it, and rightly so. Of course her anger is justified at the perpetraitor of this needless death but her words scared me with her vowing to get "revenge" and take matters into her own hands where this guy is concerned. I know this is probably just the "anger" that is talking but I am extremely concerned not only for her state of mind at the moment but I am also concerned for Dan's state of mind and his friends, you know how kids can be, dear God help them!!! Also Marty told this me afternoon that when needed I was to tell the Forum that " I have to be with Michael...." :no: :no: :no: I am EXTREMELY concerned at these kind of statements and ask that each of you who can call to talk to her do so. They have no immediate family coming to the funeral, Marty's brother has already passed on as well as her mom and dad and Jerry's mom and dad, etc. They so need to know that people are rallying around them, even if we can't be there in person.

Marty gave me a few more details as to what transpired. She said that the guys were in the garage fixing up a motor for the motor bike (small one) and she had ordered pizza and she went out to holler at them to come in. Well Michael had taken the bike out and was driving on the side of the road, within walking distance to their house, when their neighbour from two doors down came flying around the corner of the road and was on the wrong side of the road and hit Michael head on. Marty said that Daniel heard the crash and went running, as well as Jerry. She also told me that they had amputated Michael's leg before he passed on, trying to save him :no: :no: .

I ask also that each and everyone of you try and communicate with Marty AFTER the funeral, and in the months following. That is when she will truly need all of us to try and get herself and her family through this. I told her if I heard her say one more time that Michael needed her more than her family here, etc. that I was getting on the next plane and she would have me as a house guest for the next month. I beg any of you who reside within reasonable driving distance to please go and visit her, don't take no for an answer.

 

[Denise]

I feel so helpless sitting here, not able to do more for her. My heart just breaks for her.

I wish I could get on a plane and be there with her, but like alot of us we are stuck here and not able to do more. Its good that she is talking about it and that you were there for her. Thanks for keeping us posted. I shall call her in a few days and see how she is holding up along with Dan & Jerry.

 

[CharmedMinis]

Thank you for letting us know Danielle.

I agree her words are scarey but justified.

I'm not sure if I know Marty well enough to call her, I might do so anyway, I'm not sure.

But for those of you who do know her well enough to call and lend support. When she talks about being with Michael, please remind her that Dan is still here, and that he needs her, his Mom, now more than ever before.

 

[Relic]

Thankyou for more insight into what happened my heart breaks for her at this time and for sure she will need lots of support in the dark times to follow when the raw shock of right now has worn of. My wish for her right now would be for one tiny moment of peace she so badly needs at this time to stay sane.

 

[Danielle_E.]

Charmed, please do call her if you can. Of course when she talked to me about being with Michael and told me to let the Forum know should.... well I was lost for words for about a second and yes I used the argument with her that Dan and Jerry, more than anything now needed her, that each of them had to be strong for the other. Her reply to me was "Dan and Jerry don't need me like Michael does" :no:

"they will be okay without me"... Jerry was sitting right there and I am not sure if Dan was or not. I know she said his friends rallied around him yesterday and spent the entire day with him. I am sure they realize that his mom and his wife is having an excrutiating time of this but still it has to hurt to hear her say that because they also have lost a son and brother in all of this :no: . I don't know, maybe I am over-reacting to her words but when someone has hit bottom like this they aren't thinking straight and they just want the pain to go away... Like you I feel so helpless and if something were to happen... and I hadn't spoken up or tried to stop this, well I don't think I could live with myself very well. Thanks for listening

 

[FairytailGlennMinis]

I lost my grandfather when I was 2 and a cousin I was very close with when I was 8...both to drunk driving. This is so senseless...so sad. Anyone talking to Marty, please tell her to hold to her faith and that Jesus has his arm around Michael now and that Michael isn't hurting, but Jerry and Dan and her are....they need each other. She has to have THAT drilled into her head. Michael will always be there, but he needs to know that the three of them are holding together...

-Amy

 

[Feather1414]

OMG

POOR MICHAEL

I feel so bad for Marty. She needs to stay here with us.

Do you really think that it woud be effective at all if I called her? I am just a kid, and I don't know how to deal with all this stuff. I just really wanted to tell her I am sorry and to stay strong.

 

[Danielle_E.]

Feather, if your parents would allow you to call, yes please do. Maybe you can also speak to Dan? but first ask your parents if it's okay to make the long distance call. I know that your call would be appreciated. Marty and I spent some of the conversation going over some of the things Michael did, his joking nature. It helps the healing process to talk about it. I know your calle would be appreciated if you are get permission from your parents to do so.

Hugs to you as well, as I read your earlier posts that you were in direct contact with Michael via the net. I am sorry for the loss of your friend.

I know Barnbum what you mean about "words" but sometimes the "words" lead to an action.... :no: I also know that these kind of words are a cry for help. Hearing the way she said I sent a chill down my spine and I told Jerry when I got him on the phone... when someone says these kinds of things and has that kind of thinking they are hurting so much that they are not thinking rationally and when you aren't rationale, you will do anything to have the pain go away. I basically begged her to stop thinking these thoughts, that her family needed her, her friends needed her, her animals need her and that Michael was now surrounded by her parents and family that have passed on and that Michael's heart is breaking because he sees how much pain she is in. Never ignore someone who say things like this because I have had it happen before when someone close to me uttered these words and followed through on them. She was 21 at the time and my highschool friend's daughter!

 

[HaazeMinis]

Thanks Danielle for the update and more details on what happened that night.

I hope more Forum Members who personally know Marty read this thread! I hope it stays toward the top of the forum as well. I feel so helpless!

It worries me also to hear that Marty was speaking the way she was. But, I am not sure if that is a part of the grieving process or not. :no: I hope so!

I dont blame her at all for wanting revenge, if I were in her shoes I believe I would feel the same way. This is a parents worst nightmare and when it is caused by someone being reckless and could have been prevented it makes it even worse.

I hope Marty can be comforted enogh to realize that Jerry and Dan need her right now too!

Please if someone has anymore updates from Marty please post them.

Jeri

 

[MInx]

I spoke with her. Am calling back again later. She's had some sedation. I'm sure it is affecting her right now as fighting it can be hard on your mind. Like this ordeal isn't hard enough.

She said she brought Michaels car around to the front yard and decorated it with Michaels graduation stuff, and she plans to drive it to the funeral..I think it might be a good idea really. It has a flat on one tire and seemed to not be sure who she might get to fix that tire. So that tells me that perhaps the guys aren't up to it right now.

My curse for me is this ill health or I would be on the road right now. I'm retired and could go stay there a while with her. I only pray I can help her in some way from here.

I hope I don't drive away her friendship but I plan to be in her life as a surrogate mom for as long as she will put up with me.

I've thought of trying to get her family up here for a few days for a break. They would need no money while here! Do you think it would help? I live on a tranquil clear Northern Michigan lake in the woods. Loons, big sky.Time to rest and talk on the lake on the pontoon? Also would have to find a way to get them up here as I can't afford to fly them to Pellston our nearest airport.(30 minutes from me) But I can work on that one.

Just an idea I may run past her so any input re that idea is welcome. Thanks,

Maxine

 

[Miniv]

Thank you Danielle for posting........ You had a different conversation than I did.

I also spoke to Marty this afternoon. She said they have given her sedatives and I could tell from her voice that they were kicking in.

She is overwhelmed by the fact that there are so many threads happening on LB and hopes it doesn't make anyone mad. :new_shocked: (I told her not to be silly. No one would be mad! )

I told her about the Tuesday Prayer Circle and she is blown away. I mentioned the suggestions I had made including sending off a balloon and she was amazed because she was already planning to send off balloons. She also said she's planting a tree and a garden for him.

The funeral home is sending a Limosene(sp) for the family and she said, "Like heck. We are not Limosene type people!" (sounds like her, doesn't it?) Instead she plans on pulling Michael's car out -- get it fixed up enough to drive -- full muffler sound and all -- with Dan driving and Michael's friends riding with them. Not sure where Jerry is going to fit in all this.

She is also overwhelmed that at least two LB members are planning to attend on Tuesday. (Made her cry again.) And that they would representing all of us in the Guest Book.

The last thing I am going to say here is very contriversial(sp)...... She asked me to intercede in prayer and ask that Michael in Spirit come to her. She said this to me several times. Please........I am praying and have a candle burning......but please everyone.......pray for Michael to give her a sign that he is okay. She said that Michael is a "home-body" and has never been away from home this long before.........

I beg that each of you that reads this.......send up a thought or a prayer that Michael give his family a sign. Marty wants the whole vision of him in Spirit. Is that too much to ask? I'm not sure........

I hope this isn't sounding too wierd. I'm gambling by posting this, but I don't care. The lady is a mom in more pain than I could ever imagine and it's worth the gamble.

I plan to calling again after the funeral.........and I plan on connecting with Dan. He and I have a lot in common -- in that we both lost an older brother at about the same time in our lives. I hope I can let him know there are other people who have a bit of idea of what he's feeling.

Thanks for listening........

MA

 

[HaazeMinis]

MInx

Thanks for this update! It sound a little better than the last one with Danielle. Phew!

 

[kaykay]

i was so shocked to get this news on the way to the ashland show. All of us at the show were just in a state of shock for marty and her family. I am crying reading all these threads and the outpouring of love for this family.

I will for sure call her after the funeral and hoping i can drive there and see her later. We have been wanting to finally visit each other face to face and i think this is the time to do it.

Marty I love you sister and im here for you.

 

[Robin1]

I also spoke with Marty this afternoon. I don't think she had taken any sedatives at that time. Yes, she did say that there were many people that wanted to Linch this man and that she and Jerry had their own plans.

She kept talking about how much Michael loved that car so she was going to decorate it. That they had a wonderful day together just before this happened.

I know she wants to see Michael's spirit. I think when she is less distraught, when things are quiet she will feel his presence more than anything.

She told me about Jerry and Dan hearing the accident and that when she was called by a neighbor to go down the road, she wasn't allowed to get near Michael. She wasn't able to say good bye, and this is really bothering her.

I don't know how things happened. as she told me that his legs were gone. I got the impression that happened in the accident. That he opened his eyes but never spoke.

This is all so terribly sad. :no: Such a nice young man taken away by someone who never should have been let out of jail in the first place.

Robin

 

[Danielle_E.]

Yes Robin, you and I probably spoke to her around the same time and she was not on sedatives. When I asked her if she had contacted her physician she said no and I told her perhaps it would be a good idea so at least she could try and get some rest. I am glad that they have her on sedatives now because when I spoke to Jerry I tried to drill home to him that she should not be left alone for a minute with the way she was talking. I am glad to know that she is resting a bit more and that medical intervention was sought. She only told me about the amputation but then she said something to the effect that Jerry had to I.D. him and the only way to do so was by his tatoo. She told me that it would be a closed casket because, in her words, he was a John Doe, not recognizable because of the extent of the injuries. I am glad that she was not allowed to see him, not in the condition he was in. As all of you are mothers or most of you are, I can't imagine going through what Marty is going through and how much worse it would have been if she would have seen him in that state.

Robin, she also said the same thing, about her and Jerry basically would look after this guy..... I am just coming off of 3 weeks of holidays but I may take a leave of absence from work and head down if I can.

 

[lilnickers]

This news is so terribly sad.......I haven't been on here in days. My heart just aches for Marty and her family. This tragedy is almost unimaginable to bear. A friend of mine from work lost her son in a snowmobile accident several years ago. She has pulled through , but his name is mentioned almost daily, and we all still understand. Like Karla said " Time, Time , time will slowly heal. Support is so important right now. Marty and her family are in my prayers. She has some great friends on this forum.......

 

[brookhaven]

I don't post alot but have been reading all the threads regarding this travesty. My thoughts and prayers are with Marty and her family. I can't imagine having to deal with this situation. But from what I can tell about Marty, she is a strong, caring woman. She appears to be going through a normal grief process....shock, despair, anger, blame....It's part of the process. I'm sorry she does not have a large biological family support system, but by god, what a great support system she has in the forum family. She did not have closure with not being able to see her son and that will probably haunt her for a long time. She is seeking revenge because that is totally normal.She feels she needs to do something...it's a mother's job. Pray that she turns the anger into something worthy of her son. She can do much more for Michael here on earth than joining him. He has gone to a wonderful place and she is needed on this earth to carry on as Michael would want her to. She now needs to be a Brave Little Prancer herself. I wish her godspeed in this sorrowful journey she's on...but may she find comfort in all the friends she has touched on this board.

 

[RJRMINIS]

Oh I pray that she gets a sign from Michael..........I know he is watching over his mom, dad and brother. He is now their guardian angel, and he will see them through this terrible time.

It is going to be like a roller coaster ride for them all, and only after Michael is put to rest will the reality of it all sink in.....that is when they will need everyone the most.

I am still in shock after reading the posts this morning. I wish I could be there.....Although I have never met Marty or her family, I feel like I do know them...........all through her posts.

My candle I lit this morning for Michael is still burning.........

 

[Cathy_H]

Is there someone here who has a close connection with MADD who could get someone to contact Marty? Better yet someone close to her to visit her in person. Let her know they could use her help. Marty has a wonderful way with words & I am sure could be a superb spokesperson. She needs something constructive to redirect her anger towards........... Not sure how MADD operates or how it is run but thinking a representative contacting her would help her see their needs & support for Marty also.

 

[zoeleeme]

Please tell us this guy is in JAIL....With NO HOPE OF GETTING OUT! Linda