Serious question......please no fights

[New_Image]

I wasn't going to reply again as I don't want to make this a fight or go further off subject but since its been replied to several times I'll just say this:

I am not one to pick apart God's word. I believe what it says and do not tip toe around things as if they do not apply to me, nor do I twist something out of context to make myself believe I'm not in the wrong.

If you read verses such as Hebrews 13:4, 1 Corinthians 6:9 and Romans 1:26-27 - and many more - It seems pretty black and white to me.

JMO - Of course, I'm under the same mentality of waiting for sex after marriage.

Sorry Ashley.

 

[ChrystalPaths]

Good values Nik, waiting is good but let us remember it was human males who translated stories within the bible from God. I am a very spiritual person but I also remember that for every good there is a not good, for every right a wrong and it is in the translation and ultimate understand "each" person absorbs from books such as the Bible or others of other faiths. The best way of living to is go forward in a good way and allow each his or her own path without judgement..it is Spirit/God's job top do that.

 

[Boss Mare]

This is off subject ..but, I really wish someone could explain this to me. I am not being sarcastic I am truly serious. People say it is not a choice ...what about the people that are attracted to both sexes? Now, that is where I get confused.

I think that those people also don't choose so much. I assume you, like me, are attracted to men... but I can find all types of men attractive. Does that make sense? People who are bi-sexual I guess find both sexes attractive.

I could say something about them having twice as many options as those who only like men, or only like women, but not sure everyone would get I'm trying to lighten the mood

I am a bi-sexual. I have had two very serious relationships with men, one of them lasting five years! Even being with a man, it didn't stop my eyes from wondering occasionally to a woman I found attractive. It wasn't by choice.

Want to talk about choice, I made a mistake of being with my one of my ex's, ex girlfriends.. Now that was a bad choice!

My family grew up very conservative.. with no exposure to gays. I grew up being told it was 'wrong', etc. No one in my family is gay.. I am. Did I decide this? NO!

When I met my Girlfriend, the hardest thing I had to do was tell my parents. I lived out of my truck until they finally came around..

Now, My GF and I have been together well over a year and we built a house and are living happy together.. On my parent's property! They've opened their eyes and they see, I am Michelle no matter if I am with a man or woman.

Oh sure, it would be so easy.. especially being a bi-sexual and all to be with a man, settle down and do the whole fenced in yard with a dog and a swingset. Then maybe society would say I am normal.

It wasn't a CHOICE to fall in love with who I did.

I love my life. I love her.

 

[horseplay]

Sexual preference makes no difference to me, if I knew them and they were good people and I trusted them to take excellent care of my child, it wouldn't be a problem at all. That said, I also believe nature "intended" all things to be w/the opposite sex, same sex can not reproduce, back to basics I guess.

 

[Laura]

Good values Nik, waiting is good but let us remember it was human males who translated stories within the bible from God. .

AMEN to that!

 

[alongman]

That said, I also believe nature "intended" all things to be w/the opposite sex, same sex can not reproduce, back to basics I guess.

LOL... someone needs to tell one of my geldings - his best friends are all mares and he tends to brood over one of the other geldings. They do everything together and fret when they are apart. Also, if you look at nature, there are the not-so-clear lines of stag bands in horses and the drake-groups of ducks. Maybe it's a way to keep the population under check.

 

[Jill]

I am not one to pick apart God's word. I believe what it says and do not tip toe around things as if they do not apply to me, nor do I twist something out of context to make myself believe I'm not in the wrong.

If you read verses such as Hebrews 13:4, 1 Corinthians 6:9 and Romans 1:26-27 - and many more - It seems pretty black and white to me.

Don't forget Matthew 7:1 -- Judge not, that ye be not judged.

Besides, I do not believe in a God who would want a person to spend their life unhappy and without true love.

 

[Matt73]

I am not one to pick apart God's word. I believe what it says and do not tip toe around things as if they do not apply to me, nor do I twist something out of context to make myself believe I'm not in the wrong.

If you read verses such as Hebrews 13:4, 1 Corinthians 6:9 and Romans 1:26-27 - and many more - It seems pretty black and white to me.

Don't forget Matthew 7:1 -- Judge not, that ye be not judged.

Besides, I do not believe in a God who would want a person to spend their life unhappy and without true love.

Amen to that Jill

 

[Mona]

No, I would certainly not stop my children from spending a night at a friend's if the parents were gay. As most everyone else has said, it is the people themselves that are the deciding factor, not their sexual preferences.

As for the PDA question, I would not be concerned with that either. First off, if I were letting my child stay there, it would be because I trusted the parents and felt they were good people, capable of making good decisions. I don't think they would do this. A little kiss in passing, or a kiss and/or hug goodbye is fine. No, I would not want to see it go any further than that in front of the kids, and I am sure they too would not want that.

As to how the kids may react...I think if they are young enough, they would not even understand that the parents ARE gay...as one person here said happened to her while growing up. And if they are old enough to understand that they are, and they saw each other kiss or hug, they would likely have the same reaction as they would to seeing their friends straight parents doing the same thing, and that would be something like EWWWWW....GROSS!

Kids are just like that.

I think in most cases, how a child reacts to a situation or people will be an example of how their parents feel in regards to that same situation. If they are raised it is wrong, then to the child, it is. If they are raised it is OK, they will likely accept it easier.

I too have had friends that are gay. When I raised and showed dogs for many years, I was welcomed to stay the weekends in the homes of a couple different pairs...men, and women. They were all very nice, friendly people that made me feel comfortable in their homes. I also had my young daughter there with me staying, and she too accepted everything and was never shocked by anything.

I also have some personal family experience with a gay brother. I always KNEW he was gay while we were growing up even though he never would admit it. And yes, as a rotten younger sister, I would call him names because of it, but it was not meant in the way that I held it against him, only the way a sister would call a brother any other name to make him mad!

He moved to Toronto for awhile, and I know it was to "find himself". He later moved to Vancouver, BC. Both of these cities are well-known for being very heavily populated with gay people. He lived in Vancouver for the rest of his life, where he later died of AIDS.

I KNOW how hard it was for him to find some acceptance. He was so confused and troubled by being who he was, and knowing what was expected of him, that he hit the drug scene for awhile. Thank God, he was able to stop that after he reallized he was loved by many for who he was.

My parents were divorced when I was only 14. My Dad disowned my brother, and never did accept things. Even after my brother died, my Dad still showed no emotion, and I cannot believe how sickening that is for a parent to disown their child, let alone over something like that!

My Mom had a hard time with it too, and she too kind of disowned him for awhile, but I was able to slowly bring her around to seeing that no matter what, he was still her son, still the same child that she so lovingly raised all those years. I talked my brother into coming home to our small town for a visit...he had not been home in years. I am so glad he came. We had such a good vivit, and it was what took my Mom and him to come together again.

He had told me on the phone that he was HIV positive, and he made me promise not to tell my Mom. I was just sick to learn that, and even moreso to know my Mom would not know. I begged him to tell her. We (my Mom, my sister and myself) went out to Vancouver to visit him the Fall before he died. He promised me he would tell my Mom and sister at that time, and sure enough, he did. Thank God for that, because he died the following Spring. I love my brother, and I cannot express strongly enough what a strong person I think he was to have gone through all he did. I witnessed over the years the trials and tribulations he faced fighting against himself with his identity, both while we were growing up, and once he was grown. And then in the end, he wanted to be "alone". He would not allow us to come and help him...to care for him. He would not accept the medical help available to him either, as he had friends that had gone that route, and he saw how they suffered in the long run by prolonging things. He knew what was coming, and accepted it, and in my eyes, he was a very brave person.

Ashley, I am sorry, I know I got way off track here, but I just wanted to share my personal experience of why I feel gay people are just the same as any others. They ARE PEOPLE, and they needed to be treated as PEOPLE, and not treated as "gays"! They can have have huge hearts and are so often hurt so deeply, even (and especially) by the ones they are supposed to be closest to.

 

[Matt73]

Mona, thank you so much for that -not from me, but on behalf of all gay, lesbian, trans, bi, etc-. I, as well, am well acquainted with HIV; a few of my very close friends have it. Thankfully, they are doing well -one has had it for well over 15 years and is thriving-; meds are so much better nowadays. I am so sorry about your brother. But I'm glad you and your mom made peace with him before he died; I'm sure your mom is glad for that too.

You said it better than anyone yet! Again, thank you. So eloquent

 

[susanne]

It is said that all human response is based upon love or fear.

I choose to respond out of love.

 

[Ashley]

Ok so Im not sure if its the long hours of hanging sheet rock, mudding and tape or what but that post Mona, made me kind of emotinal. It hit a few things right on the head!

Just to know, we had 2 boys stay here. ONe was the neighbor, one was another kid I have never seen before. Both were good, didnt seem to have any issues, and there were no question.

 

[alongman]

Ashley, it's not just the dry-walling that has made you tear up reading Monas' post. It was truly the most well-written thing I have seen in a long time. I teared up at first, then realized what a brave family ALL of you are. Your brother, Mona, for enduring what he did. You for being supportive, trust-worthy and loving. And, your mother, who realized that he was her son, not for whom he loved but for who loved him.

I know my family is very supportive and will be no matter what choices I make in my life. I'm so glad to not have had to endure the seclusion and isolation issues like many of my friends have had (or have chosen) to do. I too, have several friends who are HIV positive. It's not a bad person disease, it's a disease that needs to be more recognized throughout entire cultures, not just the gay one.

I'm glad the overnight stay went well....... I knew you would have nothing to worry about!

 

[Ashley]

They keep themselves busy, we were working on the basement........It seems to never end OH! Kids were good, however the neighbor kid worries me.

 

[LisaF.]

Mona..your thread brought tears to my eyes also. I already knew about some of it.

Your brother was a very strong man and for that you should be proud ( as I am so sure you are).

I have two children and three grand-children. Althought some of the issues still confuse me. I CAN'T even imagine DISOWNING a child or grand-child for ANYTHING.

I hope I didn't say anything about your dad that hurt your feelings that was not my intention. I just wish your dad would have came around for your brothers sake.

I know your mother has to be grateful that you helped her understand and accept it more.

I am so sorry about your brother, but thankful he had a sister like you.

 

[Jill]

Mona, your post was very moving. It should really strike a chord with anyone who takes the time to read what you have said.

 

[ChrystalPaths]

It is said that all human response is based upon love or fear.

I choose to respond out of love.

Well said Susanne, but Mona, that was the most heartfelt tender post and I was deeply touched by it. I am thinking this entire thread may well be helping some one or more with feelings from both sides and the hopes that they will come to terms with those feelings and have a positive move on....

WE are human, to need love is like needing air, to find it is a gift from whomever it is you find to share it with.

 

[OhHorsePee]

Very beautiful post, Mona! I have a friend whom I knew for 13 years before she came out to me. She even had me fixing her up with guys. She would only date them one time though, no matter what. A bunch of us figured out what was going on but did not say anything to her because we thought she didn't want us to know. She ended up attempting suicide when her partner left her. While she was in the hospital I told her flat out that I knew and so did a bunch of us. It ended up letting her have the courage to be herself. But isn't it sad that it took her attempting to kill herself before we had the courage to tell her we knew.

 

[kaykay]

Bard im sorry but your post is too graphic and crude. I really think some of that has no place in this conversation. Just my opinion!

Kay

 

[horseplay]

Mona, too keep it short your post was great as for Bards post

, maybe it was early and you weren't thinking? or maybe thinking too much, yikes!