Would you tell?

[DunPainted]

Tough one!

With the advent of numerous strains of STD's and AIDS, cheating is a deadly "game" that comes home to roost with the innocent.

A nurse practioner friend has had to relay very serious news to women who had no clue. Makes you wonder.

 

[Sue_C.]

A nurse practioner friend has had to relay very serious news to women who had no clue.

YUP...the day she is told she has contracted AIDS, is hardly the time for her to find out...

How about the next time you talk, ask her if she knows where he went hunting because in your area it hasn't started yet.That way you aren't telling her , he's cheating but you are putting a bug in her ear. What she does with the info is up to her.

Most EXCELLENT idea!!!!!

 

[yankee_minis]

Tell her. You said you're not close, so there will be no loss there. Do it privately and don't mention it again unless she does. If she wants to deny it, then let her. But don't leave her by herself to be made a fool of.

 

[lvponies]

Thanks for the advice everyone!! Everyone has made some really good points. Hubby's idea was to snail mail her the bear season dates. That way she doesn't know who it came from. I'm still torn as to what to do. If it were me, I would want to be told and would never hold it against the bearer of the bad news. But, that's me. Some people prefer to live in ignorance. I really don't know her well enough to make that decision for her. I do know that she is already a totally miserable person and my b-i-l is a total jerk! I'm going to think on it some more.

 

[keeperofthehorses]

I guess I'm coming in late on this one.

I'd want to know. When I was in those shoes with ex #2, all of our friends and our employees knew, and no one told me. That hurt almost as much as the infidelity. I felt like such a fool. And no, I had no idea, no reason to suspect. The insult was driven home for several years after, when every six months I had to go in for blood tests. It was frightening and humiliating.

The good news is, without finally finding out and getting rid of the road apple, I'd never have had the chance to finally find my Mr. Right.

 

[susanne]

I would mail the postcard with bear hunting dates.

1. She will pick up on the hint, since she's probably wary already.

2. This lets her know but allows her save face. If people dislike it when friends bear bad news, they will HATE having it come from an in-law. She can act as she wishes without having to face you afterward.

3. This is your husband's family, so I would go with his preference (not that you should kowtow to husband's wishes, but this would show respect for him and his feelings). I don't know the family dynamics, but even if she appreciated you telling her, there may well be resentment amongst other family members.