Frustrating fact...

[REO]

I know of several children being raised by either one parent or the other, or in some cases foster parents. I also know of a hand-full of children being raised by gay parents. From what I see, the children in a gay two-parent home seem to at least have stability that is not present in a home that has divorce, etc.... Yes, every child faces challenges with growing up, that's normal? But what IS normal these days? One mom, one dad; one mom, one stepdad, one dad; one mom, one stepdad, one dad, one stepmom; grandpa and grandma........I could go on forever. I think the biggest point is that the child comes from a LOVING home. If they are raised in a gay home and their friends are included in their lives, then it won't be an issue - adults seem to have the problem and MAKE it the kids problem.

 

[barnbum]

- adults seem to have the problem and MAKE it the kids problem.

I agree on the loving home part--but in the cases I'm aware of it's never the adults making it the problem--it's the child's peers once he/she hits a certain age. Divorce is a norm--although it rips kids apart--I've comforted several children in the mornings before any teaching can take place. Other kids don't question a divorce situation...they don't question a grandparent, step-parent situation...but there are many questions about a gay parent situation. And reading kids a book isn't going to solve the problem.

Just my opinion... I've been teaching for 21 years, but have never had a student who was being raised by gay parents. As far as I know in our rather large district, there aren't many. I do know the boys who are, have struggled with it. They now have four "mothers" of one sort or another. It has to be awkward for them to explain to to friends. It could be very awkward for the friends. It's not awkward to explain a step situation or a grandparent as a parent. Anyway, loving situation or not, I feel for the kids. They are born to a situation they have no choice but to deal with. And I'm sure they do...and for many I'm sure it makes them stronger. But... not easy, not easy.

 

[LindaL]

Maybe this is yet another reason to make gay marriage and adoption legal...So, it will be a "norm" for kids. If kids are exposed to this and see it as "OK" (again kids are not stupid and they SEE what goes on in the world around them and in the news and what their parents talk about) then maybe it will be a "non-issue" if it were legal. Kids wouldn't see on the news about states fighting over whether or not it is wrong or right, etc. and make things hard on the kids who are from same sex parent households.

I'm sure back in the day when divorce was "whispered about" or when inter-racial marriages were not the "norm", kids of those households were made to feel insecure and threatened by their peers as well.

Just another thought....

 

[Jill]

I agree on the loving home part--but in the cases I'm aware of it's never the adults making it the problem--it's the child's peers once he/she hits a certain age. Divorce is a norm--although it rips kids apart--I've comforted several children in the mornings before any teaching can take place. Other kids don't question a divorce situation...they don't question a grandparent, step-parent situation...but there are many questions about a gay parent situation. And reading kids a book isn't going to solve the problem.

Just my opinion... I've been teaching for 21 years, but have never had a student who was being raised by gay parents. As far as I know in our rather large district, there aren't many. I do know the boys who are, have struggled with it. They now have four "mothers" of one sort or another. It has to be awkward for them to explain to to friends. It could be very awkward for the friends. It's not awkward to explain a step situation or a grandparent as a parent. Anyway, loving situation or not, I feel for the kids. They are born to a situation they have no choice but to deal with. And I'm sure they do...and for many I'm sure it makes them stronger. But... not easy, not easy.

I don't think you could possibly know. There are man-woman couples where one is gay. There are single parents who are gay. I measurable part of the population is in fact gay. I don't think they all wear the tee-shirt.

Additionally, your state is one of the states that recognizes same sex marriages. Someone must have demanded that be the case

 

[Reijel's Mom]

If a candidate were to be available who seemed to have all the right answers as far as homeland security and the economy, but happened to feel that black people should no longer have the right to marry in this country, would you vote for them, Jill? I would hope not, and I would hope that it wouldn't only be because they wouldn't stand much of a chance of being elected.

In regards to children being raised by same sex couples. I had a boyfriend, now just a friend, for several years who is biracial. He was adopted and raised by white parents in a mostly white suburb of Chicago. Growing up, he did experience some confusion and some difficulty because he was black and adopted, and his friends were not. But he had a pretty wonderful family that helped him deal with the issues. Later in life he met his biological mother. In this case, he is very grateful now that he had the struggles he did have growing up, rather than the struggles that he would have had had he been raised by his biological family.

I work as a social worker. On my current caseload, I don't think I'm serving anyone who is gay, but I am serving a whole chuckload of straight people that I wish to God had never had children. I'd happily send so many of these kids off to Adam or anyone else decent who would take them if I could.

 

[barnbum]

I don't think you could possibly know. There are man-woman couples where one is gay. There are single parents who are gay. I measurable part of the population is in fact gay. I don't think they all wear the tee-shirt.

Additionally, your state is one of the states that recognizes same sex marriages. Someone must have demanded that be the case

7-10%? I think that's the last stat I heard, but it was a while ago.

I know most my students' parents pretty well--the married, divorced, grandparent, and single parents. The only ones I don't know well are those who never show up to school and never communicate. I'm aware of most of my students' family situations within a few days to a few months. There are parent-teacher conferences.... It's the nature of the job--and the information given on each child as far as the family situation goes and where the child goes after school and who's allowed to pick a child up. Email makes for easy and frequent communication with all guardians. I would know 100% if a child was being raised by two gay parents. It's part of the job.

There are man-woman couples where one is gay. There are single parents who are gay. That I might not know and don't want or need to know.

I would bet there are many reading who agree with me, but just aren't willing to speak up. I just felt it was time to voice my opinion, rather than keep it always to myself for fear of flames. But as I stated before--just because one does not want marriage between gays legalized, does not mean he/she doesn't respect or feel indifferent to the lifestyle and have gay friends.

 

[Jill]

If a candidate were to be available who seemed to have all the right answers as far as homeland security and the economy, but happened to feel that black people should no longer have the right to marry in this country, would you vote for them, Jill? I would hope not, and I would hope that it wouldn't only be because they wouldn't stand much of a chance of being elected.

That isn't anything that's going to happen in this day and age, and to disregard my primary concerns about National Security and the Economy with impossible scenarios is no more or less "dismissive" than the bible thumpers who are sure that God hates gays. When "we" have here (me) a die hard conservative who SUPPORTS same sex marriage rights, I don't get why it's hard to understand that while I find it to be important, I do not count it at the very top of my list of concerns. I can promise you, I will vote for whoever the GOP puts forth. Obama is the most far left liberal president and I see / support not a single part of his agenda of fundamentally changing our Nation. OMG: Obama Must Go.

 

[Jill]

I would bet there are many reading who agree with me, but just aren't willing to speak up. ...

Oh, if I had just a nickle for every time I've had that feeling

 

[LindaL]

I would know 100% if a child was being raised by two gay parents. It's part of the job.

REALLY??? I doubt it. My kids were raised by myself and my partner. Their dad is in the picture, but being the primary caregiver; I was the one who went to parent-teacher conferences, etc. I never once put it out there that I was gay to anyone in my children's school, so unless someone knew ME they would not know. All they knew was that I was a divorced mom and my kids were being raised by me.

 

[barnbum]

REALLY??? I doubt it. My kids were raised by myself and my partner. Their dad is in the picture, but being the primary caregiver; I was the one who went to parent-teacher conferences, etc. I never once put it out there that I was gay to anyone in my children's school, so unless someone knew ME they would not know. All they knew was that I was a divorced mom and my kids were being raised by me.

What I said:

There are man-woman couples where one is gay. There are single parents who are gay. That I might not know and don't want or need to know.

The children were born to you in a heterosexual situation. I covered that. Silly issue to debate though.

Kids do talk.....

 

[Marty]

The fact that my partner cannot, at some places of employment, be recognized nor included on my insurance (forcing separate insurance plans); the fact that in the state in which I live a gay couple cannot adopt a child - they must be adopted by one or the other parent and even then via private adoption agencies, not the public adoption agencies; the fact that if my partner were injured or ill and not able to make medical decisions for himself, his family could PREVENT me from seeing or being included in those decision; the fact that we pay additional taxes to the government (as again, we have to file separately as opposed to as a couple) to fund some of the other happenings in this world. I could go on and on.

OK here comes your resident hippy who loves PEACE & LOVE:

I've had gay friends since high school. I don't care who they do what with because it doesn't effect me or my year end taxes. I don't know why other people make such issue over it.

I don't think anyone sets out in life to be gay or decides they want to be gay just to do it. However it happens, being gay is a part of life for some. That being said, OMG leave the gay people alone! They are PEOPLE too with a heart that beats and feelings. You don't have to understand it and you don't have to agree with it but their rights are being denied and that's wrong. The only difference between me and a gay person is who they sleep with. Geesh. Get over it. Does it bother me who is sleeping with who? NOPE. Its none of my business so I don't care. But let gay people have the rights they need as citizens and human beings. Seems to me these illegal immigrants sneaking over the borders every darn day have more rights in this country than our own gay people!

My redneck son has a couple of gays in his group of close friends from high school and by golly, if you messed with them, you'd be toast. They have always been welcome in my home, are wonderful fun loving gentle guys would totally be great parents someday. I'd rather see a child raised up by a loving gay couple anyday rather than a child being raised up with stinking old values like being whipped with a switch from a tree or a belt from his daddy's closet. "What the world needs now is love sweet love....."

 

[KanoasDestiny]

I agree with Barnbum 100% on the school issue. I too work in an elementary classroom and I've known several students that have two mothers or two fathers. It is very ackward for them to have to tell or explain their situation to their peers (and most of them come from divorced man/woman households where the parent then started living the gay lifestle.) I have found that these kids tend to be the ones who are 'preached to' about their parent's lifestyle because the other kids have learned that it is wrong by their parents. These kids also have less sleepovers because people have this notion that homosexuality is contagious or they don't want their child exposed to it. I'm not saying the children are scarred by it but their parent's lifestyle does affect them. Regardless to whether the parents are quiet about their relationship or not, kids are smart and they pick up on everything...and they keep nothing secret. Whether a parent tells us something or not, the child or their peers almost always do.

 

[KanoasDestiny]

I love, love, LOVE Marty's post above mine! Well said!

 

[alongman]

Marty - Love the post!

Barnbum - I know you are an educator as well as an educated person, so here's my challenge to you. You teach subjects, such as history, and point out the battles fought and describe both sides of these battles. Teach the children about THIS battle - it's not written in a text book, it's not clear who the "winner" is, but it is a reality to the children growing up today that are LIVING this battle and hearing about it on TV. Teach them about all the different kinds of families - not from a biased perspective, but from a perspectve like you would teach History. Teach them that there are mixed gender, same gender, single parent, biracial and EVERY OTHER TYPE OF FAMILY out there. Some of my BEST teachers in school (K-college) were the unbaised ones who let me form my own opinions after hearing the truth about every side.

Do I want kids to get picked on based on who their parents are? NO, will it happen for any multitude of reasons? Yes. I remember getting picked on because I didn't wear brand-name jeans. My family couldn't afford them. Gosh, you know, it made me a stronger person realizing that there were all kinds of people out there who would try to put me down for NO MATTER the reason.

 

[alongman]

My redneck son has a couple of gays in his group of close friends from high school and by golly, if you messed with them, you'd be toast. They have always been welcome in my home, are wonderful fun loving gentle guys would totally be great parents someday. I'd rather see a child raised up by a loving gay couple anyday rather than a child being raised up with stinking old values like being whipped with a switch from a tree or a belt from his daddy's closet. "What the world needs now is love sweet love....."

Good for your son. I have both gay and straight friends - they don't see anything besides me.

 

[ohmt]

I think more people need to move to MN or ND-SO much more acceptance! In my high school one of the most popular boys in school was raised by two moms and he had bonfires for pretty much my whole grade every Friday. Loved it and his parents were the sweetest ladies. We also had a homecoming king that was openly gay. He was so funny and kind, no body cared what his sexual orientation was. We liked him for him. The boy (heterosexual) raised by two moms is now graduated from the U of M with a business degree and anyone that knows U of M knows it is VERY difficult to get into their business program. He is also engaged to one of my best friends

The other boy is now a senior at Concordia and travels to New York every summer where he performs in operas. Neither are doing too shabby.

 

[Marty]

This says what I want to say so much better than words

 

[barnbum]

Barnbum - I know you are an educator as well as an educated person, so here's my challenge to you. You teach subjects, such as history, and point out the battles fought and describe both sides of these battles. Teach the children about THIS battle - it's not written in a text book, it's not clear who the "winner" is, but it is a reality to the children growing up today that are LIVING this battle and hearing about it on TV. Teach them about all the different kinds of families - not from a biased perspective, but from a perspectve like you would teach History. Teach them that there are mixed gender, same gender, single parent, biracial and EVERY OTHER TYPE OF FAMILY out there. Some of my BEST teachers in school (K-college) were the unbaised ones who let me form my own opinions after hearing the truth about every side.

If you had any idea what I cover in my class beside academics... your jaw would drop and you'd applaud. I don't need a challenge to be better at my job.

Marty--no one here has said anything other than respect/love/acceptance of the gay community. Different races were a novelty at our high school--usually voted in as king at dances. One gay boy in band, a good friend of Rachel's, was a highly respected drum major. There are no hate issues in this community. Never have been.

Deep breath. Blow the smoke from your barrels.

 

[Sonya]

I honestly don't think it's a teachers job to 'teach lifestyles'..yes they are there to ensure kids don't bully, etc in these situations...but it's not a teachers job to teach morals or acceptance...that should be taught at home. Just my opinion.

 

[Jill]

I honestly don't think it's a teachers job to 'teach lifestyles'..yes they are there to ensure kids don't bully, etc in these situations...but it's not a teachers job to teach morals or acceptance...that should be taught at home. Just my opinion.

I agree. Our schools should not be a platform for indoctrination to what the teacher or teachers feel is the right (or left, haha) path!